AN: Thanks to everyone who read, followed or made this story a favorite. Special thanks to OldGirl-NoraArlani, DearHart, AlxM, and Kathy for their kind reviews. Not to worry, everybody will survive.
Sam stood and stretched his back as the credits ran on the movie. He put the empty beer bottles on the counter while Brady cleaned up the remains of the pizza they'd shared. Brady's apartment was nice, way nicer than the cramped dorm room Sam shared with Steve. Brady had a big TV, his own kitchen, and an extremely comfy sofa. Sam stretched again and rolled his shoulders. Comfy, but apparently the sofa was way too soft to spend a full two hours slouching on and his back ached a bit.
"Thanks Brady, I appreciate you letting me hang out, I know it's a weeknight," Sam offered. Brady was pre-med, so his academic workload was even more taxing than Sam's.
"Don't worry about it Sam." Brady smiled. "Even you can't study 100% of the time."
Sam had to smile back. His reputation for all work - no play was well earned. Normally at 10:00 pm on a Wednesday, Sam would have just gotten back to his room after work and would take an hour or two to study before bed. But tonight, he'd switched shifts with Mandy, so he was able to have a rare night off just to relax and spend some time with one of his best friends.
It was still a weird feeling to have friends. He'd never really had many over the years. They had moved around constantly, and there was so much he had to hide and lie about. It hadn't seemed worth it to try and build friendships only to have to leave them behind in a few weeks. For most of his life he'd only had Dean. His brother had always been his best and only friend, the one constant presence during their unsettled childhood. And there had been a time when Sam hadn't wanted or needed anyone other than Dean. He looked up to his big brother so much. It had been the most difficult thing he'd ever done, to leave him behind to come to college. But, as much as he loved Dean, Sam wanted more. He wanted school and friends and a safe, normal future. Dean only wanted to hunt. It hurt to realize that he and Dean wanted two different things in life, but he was done trying to be something he wasn't.
"Hey man, you want another beer?" Brady asked, sticking his head out of the fridge. Brady's apartment definitely had a lot more amenities than Sam's dorm room, including a full size fridge and more importantly some actual peace and quiet. His friend very kindly let Sam hang out or even come over to study when the noisy dorm got rowdy. One of the perks of having wealthy parents. Despite being rich, Brady never looked down on Sam or made him feel badly because he was constantly broke. That was one of the many reasons that they were friends. Brady treated Sam like he was just a normal guy.
"Hey – earth to Sam!" Brady called, waggling a bottle in his direction.
"Oh, sorry man. Nah, I'm good, I still have to bike home and I don't want to end up in a ditch like Don," Sam said, declining the beer, but taking the bottle of water Brady offered.
"Dude, Don was high as a kite when he crashed his ride that time." A grin broke across Brady's face and Sam had to smile back. "Of course Don is flying high most of the time anyway, which is why he's been here 3 years and is still a freshman." Both men laughed. Don was famous for exactly 3 things, his seemingly endless supply of pot, his generous laid back nature, and the fact that his dad's seat on the Board of Trustees kept him in school despite his significant lack of grades or progress.
"So, Sam. Thanksgiving is coming up in a couple of weeks. I'm heading home for the long weekend and I wondered if you wanted to come with me? Assuming you're not going to go be with your family?" Brady sipped on his beer and casually leaned against the counter. Sam was tempted. The idea of a weekend of luxury, great food and an actual home sounded awesome. But Sam shook his head, ignoring the subtle probe about his family. Brady knew he had a father and brother, but not much more.
"I appreciate it man, but I've picked up some extra shifts at work that weekend." Sam took a swig of his water. He needed the money and his co-workers wanted to go home for the holiday. It was a win-win.
Just then, Sam's cell phone rang. Sam's phone was his one extravagance, it was his only connection to his previous life, and to his brother. The first few months here had been rough. He'd come to college looking for normal and quickly realized that being a poor scholarship student among his mostly wealthy classmates made him more of a freak in some ways than he had been at any of the dozens of high schools he had attended. He'd called Dean pretty often at first, at least when his brother had coverage and wasn't on a hunt. But now that Sam had made friends and built a life for himself, it was usually his brother calling him, although not normally so late on a weeknight.
"Hey Dean," Sam answered, moving away from Brady with an apologetic smile.
"Sam…. It's Dad." Sam was shocked. Since the screaming fight he'd had with Dad the day he'd left, he hadn't heard from his father in well over a year. His heart stuttered in his chest. Something was terribly wrong if Dad was calling him on Dean's phone. Was this the call he'd always been afraid to get?
"Where's Dean?" Sam tried to keep the tremble out of his voice, but he could hear the barely controlled panic, so he knew that Dad could too. Brady looked up in curiosity, but Sam ignored him, too focused on his Dad's next words to pay attention to his friend. Sam heard Dad clear his throat roughly.
"Sam…" Dad's voice broke in a way Sam had never heard before. The man was practically a robot, he was so in control. "No, no, no, no," he prayed silently under his breath as he heard his Dad swallow and try again.
"Your brother, Sam….he's…. Dean didn't make it."
And just like that, the world ended. Standing in Brady's fancy apartment, with a water bottle in one hand and a phone in the other, Sam's world literally stopped. He couldn't breathe. His legs went weak and Sam had to slump against the back of the sofa to keep upright. Outside the window, he saw the lights of Palo Alto. Sam could hear people talking as they walked down the hall outside the door. How could that possible if Dean was gone? How could anything exist without Dean? Sam closed his eyes and prayed that this was all a horrible nightmare.
"What happened?" Sam managed to squeak out the question even though his chest felt heavy and his throat three sizes too small. His body felt numb as he tried to remember how to speak.
"Does it matter?" Dad's voice was tired, full of gravel, his words tumbling out roughly as if it was all he could do to force them past his lips. "If you want to say goodbye, we're in Winnemucca, NV. I'll text you the address." And then Dad ended the call.
Sam sat there, propped against the sofa. He stared at the phone in his hand, feeling the buzz of the text, but not seeing the words. From what seems like a long distance away, Sam heard his name and felt Brady's hand on his arm.
"Sam, are you okay?" Brady's words were fuzzy, but they made their way into Sam's brain and he took a couple of deep breaths. If the world had stopped at his Dad's words, it leapt into fast forward at Brady's.
"It's my brother...he...I, uh. I have to go." Sam knew that he wasn't making sense. His mind was racing and he stood, phone and bottle still in his hands. He began walking in aimless circles, looking around for his backpack with unseeing eyes.
"I have to go," he repeated more forcefully, feeling trapped and panicked. He had to get to Dean. He had to make this untrue.
"Hey, hey, slow down," said Brady in a calm voice. "Where do you need to go?" Sam thought that was a great question and dug through his whirling brain for an answer. Nevada! He had to get to Nevada. He began to plan scenarios in his head. He couldn't bike to Nevada, it would take too long. Maybe a bus? He'd need to scrounge up enough money for a ticket and then get to the station. But there might not be a bus until tomorrow. That was too late. Trying to live a normal life meant giving up the more criminal aspects of his previous life, but he could still steal a car if he had to. Brady's hand on his arm was the only reason Sam wasn't already out the door. His friend called his name to get his attention.
"Sam?" Brady looked concerned at his inability to answer the question. Sam forced himself to calm down a little.
"Uh, I need to get to Nevada. I've got to go grab my things and get to the bus station…find out if there's a bus tonight" he trailed off. What was he going to do if Dean were really dead? He felt frantic and frozen at the same time. Sam looked at Brady whose hand was still on his arm. His friend's face softened in sympathy and suddenly a wave of emotion hit Sam and tears sprung into his eyes. It was usually Dean that looked at him with that kind of compassion. Dean...no, no, no, you can't be dead. Dad has to be wrong. Brady not so gently shook him, snapping him back from his spiraling thoughts.
"You're not getting on some bus, Sam." Brady was firm. "You're going to take my car." A weird hope burst through Sam. If he could just get to Dean he was sure that things were going to be okay, that this would all turn out to be a horrible mistake or some cruel joke. He found himself nodding. Brady took the water bottle from his grip, opened it then shoved it back into his hand. "Drink this, Sam," he said as he plucked a set of keys from a bowl on the coffee table. Sam took a sip of the soothing water and watched, still paralyzed for the moment. Brady produced Sam's backpack from somewhere and handed it to him, then with a hand on Sam's elbow, ushered them out of the door and down to the parking lot.
It was just after 11:00 pm when he dropped Brady back at his apartment, but Sam felt like hours had passed since his phone call from Dad, and he was chomping at the bit to get going. He'd thrown his stuff together and locked up his bike, now there was nothing to do but drive. Brady leaned into the open drivers window.
"Are you sure you don't need me to go with you?," he asked. Sam considered the offer for a brief moment, but he had to do this alone. He had to get to Dean.
"Thanks, but I'm good," Sam replied even as he anxiously drummed his fingers on the leather wrapped steering wheel. Brady shot a glance at his fidgeting hands, but then gently slapped the side of the SUV and stepped back.
"Ok. Be safe and good luck with your brother." Brady gave a half wave and then turned to go back into his building. Sam just gave him a nod and put the car in drive, pulling out of the visitors parking and towards Nevada.