A/n Couldn't help but write this.
Ezri sat in her quarters, reading a PADD. She wasn't exactly reading it, but she was so angry that she needed something to take her mind off what she'd seen in the Infirmary.
It wasn't working. She was too angry to think straight.
She couldn't believe the nerve of Worf holding Julian like that against the wall. Threatening him with harm, just because he'd shown her the first kindness she's experienced since coming back to the station. No, not her.
Jadzia.
Who was he to tell others who could eat with her and who couldn't ?
They weren't even speaking to one another. Ezri tried on many occasions to speak to the Klingon, but it always failed. The argument in the Infirmary had helped now because she'd finally got it in his thick skull she wasn't a pushover.
She was shaken from her thoughts by the door chime. She looked up. The door chimed again. Impatiently.
Ezri sighed. " Computer, who's outside my quarters ?" She wanted to know who it was even though she had a good idea.
The computer's calm tones informed her. " Captain Sisko."
Ezri sighed. She knew she had no choice but to respond. " Come in."
The doors opened and Ben Sisko walked in, his face grave. " Hello Ezri."
" Ben."
The big man walked in the room and sat on a chair, looking at her. " I heard about the fight you had with Worf."
" Good news travels fast." She said bitterly.
" Dax." Ben said warningly, " Worf is even more…hurt than before. It seems you talking about Jadzia like that reminded him what his wife was like."
Ezri looked at him. " Jadzia would NEVER have wanted anyone, anyone, from treating the next Dax host like he has. Even you. She felt there was a limit. Holding someone to a wall and threatening to beat them to the point of death is a limit. All Julian had done wrong was help me choose something to eat and talk with me. He didn't kiss me. He didn't touch me, yet Worf acts like he did. Jadzia would have felt contempt, rather than love for him. He thinks anyone who even talks to me whilst I eat with them dishonours the memory of her! If anyone has been dishonouring Jadzia, its him. He knows that now."
" That's not quite fair. I know its been hard, but…"
" Yes," She cried. " It has been hard. On him. On you. On everyone on this damn station. But, did it occur to anyone how hard it was for me ? Worf treats me like dirt on his boot. I meant what I said about leaving this station. Nothing you say can stop me Ben, I need to leave."
Ben looked at her with a masked expression. Please, Ezri thought, recognising the look, even if personally, she'd never seen it herself. Not that look. It was the common manipulative look captains developed into an art form when they wanted to get their own way.
Ezri wasn't going to let Dax's old friend do it to her.
" Leaving wont solve anything. Believe me. After Jennifer died, all I wanted was to die. I couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat. I could barely even sleep without seeing her face."
Ezri nodded. " I know. But, tell me. If Jennifer was in some way reincarnated, would you treat her like a pariah ?" Tears started forming in her eyes.
Ben looked at her with surprise. " No. Of course I wouldn't. how could you say that ?"
" Because everyone on DS9 treats me like that. You and Julian are the only ones to see me as Ezri, not Jadzia. Everyone else, O'brien, Kira, Odo and others seem to wish I wasn't here. Having a talk with them wont help me. I can see it in their eyes, they want me to leave. They can't stand me."
After that, she looked down and started sobbing her heart out and Ben saw, not a 300 year old symbiotically bonded woman, but a frightened young girl and cursed.
Cursed the Trill people for not giving compulsory basic training for symbiotic joining. Cursed Worf for his arrogant presumption. Cursed his crew, something he was not used to, and certainly didn't like, for making life for this young girl even harder than it should be. He was proud of his crew, but now…he felt shame.
Cursed himself, for adding to Ezri's pain. He'd insisted she come to the station with him, hoping their old friendship could be renewed.
With Jadzia and Curzon his friendship was something which came naturally to him, theirs was a friendship where they could talk and Dax would help with any issues he had. The Klingons invading Cardassia sprang to mind, although he wished he hadn't bothered helping them. Their betrayal still angered him and many others.
With Ezri, it was another story.
She was insecure, something he wasn't accustomed to when it came to Dax. The last 2 hosts he'd known had been confidant in their separate roles of scientist and diplomat respectfully.
Ezri was different because now the roles were reversed, instead of her giving advice, he was the one giving the advice to her.
It was something he wasn't used to, but he found that he enjoyed it.
He got up slowly and walked over to the chair the still sobbing Trill was crying her heart out. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she poured out her grief.
She sobbed for a good five minutes before she pulled back, her eyes red and her little face streaked with tears.
She looked at him sheepishly, " Sorry," she looked down embarrassed.
" No," Sisko was resolute. " I'm the one who's sorry. I was the one to bring you here. I thought that we could be friends. I thought the others would be the same way."
Ezri noticed the way he said could be friends. Curzon and Jadzia had been firm friends with Ben from the beginning.
" Could be friend ?" She parroted back, hoping she wasn't right about what he was thinking.
Ben cringed at his poor choice of words. Here he was trying to make Ezri feel better and now it looked like he wanted her gone. The last thing he wanted.
" With Curzon and…Jadzia," he paused at saying the name, " I could bring my issues with me and they'd help me. But with you, I find I enjoy giving you advice. It could be an unconscious way of repaying every bit of help you've given me in the past. When I said could be friends, I meant being friends with you, Ezri."
" You mean that ?" She asked timidly.
She was like a child, frightened and inquisitive.
" Yes."