I hate the pet carrier, and this thing is getting slam dunked in the trash as soon as I'm not a rabbit anymore. Jade and Rose are trying to get me inside of it to see if I fit right before forcing me to sit in it on the bus. I fit, but I hate this stupid thing. It's small and cramped and smells like piss and dust and dog. I hopped out almost seconds after Rose slowly pushed me in. "I don't want to go in there!"
"What else are we supposed to do?" Rose asked. "Just carry you in our arms? Maybe put you in a backpack or some other bag instead? What's wrong with the the carrier?"
"It smells horrible and gross!" I pawed my nose. "I don't want to go in there."
"It smells a little strange, but it's faint."
"What do you mean? I can smell it practically from across the room."
"The difference in the strengths of our sense of smell made us unable to realize that. I'll clean it out." Rose picked up the carrier. "Where do you keep your cleaners?"
"I'll help you. Wait here John." Jade and Rose went off to clean the carrier. I wasn't to board, but then Bec came wandering in. "Guys!" Bec took a sniff at me, licking me before curling around me lazily. I climbed up unto his back, and he didn't care.
"Don't touch my ears." He huffed.
"Oh, sorry!" I moved my paws away from his ears. He got up, somehow I stayed sitting on him with my paws on his head. "You going somewhere?"
"I'm getting a drink. You can have some if you want." He stated as he started towards the steps, slowly making his way down the stairs. Jade and Rose were down stairs in the kitchen scrubbing the carrier. They looked over surprised, but they didn't say anything. Bec wandered over to his water dish, laying down before he started drinking. I tried not just using his head as a launch pad as I climbed off. Rabbit legs liked kicking and jumping.
"Bec likes you again, huh?" Jade looked over from scrubbing the rabbit carrier.
"Yeah. He's not very talkative though."
"Is that what the barking was?"
"He wasn't barking."
"I think you might be able to talk to him."
"Woah, really? That's super cool!"
"I think we've got it all cleaned." Rose dunked it in the sink again before setting it on a towel up on the counter. She picked me up and set me on the counter. "It was fairly dirty, but I think it should be much better now."
"Yeah, it smells better! Thanks guys." I stepped in a puddle, a sniff and immediately the smell of cleaner hit me. I tried dipping my paw in the sink, but I'm not really good at working my rabbit body and ended up falling in instead. Rose pulled me out a second later, drying me off quickly with a hand towel. Jade came in with her blowdryer. Pretty soon I was sitting there with them blow drying me. "Guys, I just fell in the sink. I should be dry soon."
"The websites we checked said to keep rabbits dry. Not even baths in tubs of water because they can get sick and die." Rose kept the blowdryer moving. "While that probably won't happen and might just be an extreme case-scenario, it's best not to take chances."
"When did you guys research rabbits?"
"Last night. We thought it was best to research since you will be stuck like this a few days. Also, we will have to stop by the pet store to get you proper rabbit food."
"We have proper rabbit food. Rabbits eat carrots."
"They do eat vegetables, but they also eat lots of hay."
"You're kidding me, right?"
"I am not kidding you. We will be stopping by the pet store to get you hay today before we head over to stay the night at Dave's."
"What if I can still eat cookies and hot dogs and stuff? We aren't exactly sure how this works."
"If you get sick we have to find a vet to take you to and you can't say a word the whole time."
"That is a deal I'm willing to make."
"And a deal no one will take up." Rose put the blowdryer down, toweling the carrier before turning the blowdryer on it. As soon as it was completely dry she put a blanket in there in a heap and looked over to me. "We are leaving as soon as we have everything gathered up."
"All wait here then." She smiled before walking off. I climbed into the snugly pile of blankets, making myself comfortable under the top layer before slowly being pulled into sleep mode. Next thing I heard was feet pounding up steps and heavy breathing. I sat up, looking out the carrier door to see we were heading up steps. Jade was in my line of sight, lugging her bag up the metal stair well.
"I'm going... to kick... Dave's ass... when we... get there." Jade checked the doorway, finding the floor number, twenty, to be one off from the floor Dave lived on. "I hate... these stairs... so much..." I noticed she had Rose's duffel bag on her rolling suitcase as well, the straps looped around the handle. As soon as we reached reached the next doorway she nudge the door open and stomped into the hallway a few steps. "Rose.. can you pull these?"
"Yes. I think we should be fine setting John's carrier on the suitcase." Moments later I was on the suitcase, Jade carefully putting me on the tilted back top surface. "John's awake!"
"Why were you guys going up the stairs?"
"The elevator is out of order and I'm kicking Dave's ass!"
"You'd think there would be another elevator in the building for people in case one broke."
She shrugged. We raced down the hallway towards Dave's apartment, making it there fairly quickly. Jade pounded on the door. "Jesus Harley, what did my door do t- what's going on? Is this some sort of prank? I swear if John is trying to climb the building to my floor again and gets stuck in the fire escape I'm putting it on YouTube before I help him down."
"The elevator is out of order! You couldn't have sent us a heads up?"
"Harley, I hate to alarm you but there are about four god damn elevators in the building. My apartment isn't next to the only elevato- holy shit, stop!" Jade had quickly grabbed the duffle bag off my carrier and smacked him with it. "You seriously climbed twenty-one flights of stairs with all those bags and some random carrier?" She smacked him in the head with the bag again. "I'll take that as a yes. Where's John to help me out here?"
"I'm in the carrier!" I got up against the wire door. "Jade, can you let me out?"
"Why is he a rabbit?"
"I might have turned him into a rabbit on accident."
"How do you accidentally turn someone into a rabbit? Science can't even do that on purpose. On top of that you put him into fluffy bunny prison I'm guessing without an attorney or his one phone call. What the hell is wrong with you? Does law not exist in Hawaii, because in Illinois law is a thing that happens, albeit enforcement is slow, but there are laws none the less. Please tell me you at least Miranda-ed him."
"I did not."
"You are relieved of your duties as bunny jail leader from here on out and are demoted to working in some other state as a cop of a slightly lower rank and pay. This rabbit is innocent and wasn't told his rights, so we must let him go free. Be free my furry comrade," Dave moved the carrier to the ground just inside his apartment doorway before unlocking the wire door and swinging it open," be free."
"How can I ever repay you oh amazing cop savior?" I hopped over to sit in front of him.
"Continue your practically-too-cute-to-be-legal ways you adorable disaster."
"I'm not cute!"
"All rabbits are adorable and that is just a scientific fact. The tiny glasses just make you even more cute, but as a rabbit only because those glasses have the opposite effect on humans."
"Rude!" I smack down both paws on his legs a few times like a tiny rabbit boxer before bouncing to the couch. "Wait, at this height I can find all the stuff you hide at the bottom of your closet!" I raced for his room as his footsteps pounded behind me.
"John, no! Stay out of my closet furry you asshole! Wait, stop!" I skid to a stop at his closed door, the round handle would be next to impossible for me to open in this tiny pawed form. "I see why you were in rabbit prison."
"I was in there so I could be taken on the bus."
He picked me up with my legs dangling uncomfortably under me. "Well, let's go figure out if Harley and Lalonde changed the movie path or if we will scour the ancient tomes and books of the public library or articles of the internet looking for how to change you back to normal."
"I kind want to watch movies."
"Maybe it will be a hospital accident sort of deal. You're immune to activity due to being under rabbit magics, I will comfort and accompany you due to my innocence in this situation and being your best bro, and they will be doing the solution searching since they caused this. I think you are ninety-five percent guaranteed a total immunity spot. I think for me it's sixty-forty due to my rad computer skills that would put all the 90's computer lesson books to shame. They would probably want me to help them in the internet database case."
"And you guessed wrong David." Rose picked me up out of Dave's arms. "I actually want both your help and John's to go over many of the books I've brought that are on the aged spectrum of my literature collection. They are in the big suitcase Jade graciously agreed to drag up here in exchange for me allowing her to raid my box of candles."
"You have a strange collections. I'm worried for any federal agent watching your search history, getting his badge polished to investigate only to be relieved that you haven't lost all your marbles just yet."
"Please, he should be more concerned with my wizard stories and choice of fanfictions than how long I spend trying to order the end of the squiddle series."
"I actually have that tape at home if you wanted to watch it." Jade piped in as she set a towering stack of books on the table.
"Yes, but I need to know if Plum Throat ever found Queen Rainbowberry to help her save Minty Dream from Skipper."
"I don't want to spoil it for you... so I'm just going to say that the Queen is found and she actually appears on screen!"
"You're joking."
"I'm serious and she is amazing! Way cooler than Princess Booberry!"
"I need to watch this tape!" Rose was actually excited. "Was PlumDream confirmed?"
"Definitely!" I can't believe it but Rose and Jade were both really excited, and I think there was horrible squealing.
"Guys, can you put me down before jumping around over canon ships?"
"Sorry John, but I'm afraid you got caught up in the moment for a bit longer than you should have been. You aren't feeling sick are you?"
"A little. Can you put me down before continuing? I'm getting dizzy."
"I think it's best to get to work rather than swoon over fictional squid royalty and relations." Rose set me down on the table, flipping open the first book cover for me. She pulled up a chair, picking up the next book and flipping it open. Jade set the remainder of the books down in a towering stack next to the table before flopping down in her seat and reading as Dave reluctantly joined.
"What are we even looking for? Just un-rabbit spell or is there a special wizard ancient weirdness terminology we should be searching for?"
"Transfiguration, transformation, reversal, maybe even form disfiguration, and scan over any sections on curses." Rose flipped the page of her book. I can read these pages, but pass were not meant to flip pages. It took me way to much time trying to flip just one page. "I can help you flip pages if you need assistance John."
"Seriously? You turned him into a rabbit and now he has to read books he can barely flip pages for? You want a snack John?"
"Gushers!" I excitedly looked over to him.
"John, I don't think rabbits can digest Gushers." Rose flipped another page.
"It has fruit. Why do you think they're called fruit gushers?"
"Because those lumps of sugar are artificially fruit flavored. Why not eat actual fruit instead."
"Okay mom." I hop close to Dave. "Please get me gushers."
"I can hear your whispering."
"You deny a man his one and only request? Only a heartless monster could tell their best bro no to the only request after turning them into a fluffy ball of cute. Have you no heart?"
"You've caught me. I have no heart, now don't give him gushers."
Dave picked me up. "I'm going to do it."
"Dave..."
He set me on the counter before opening the cabinet, reaching inside. "I'm grabbing the gushers."
"I'm serious."
He pulled out a packet, pulling it open. "I'm opening the packet."
"I mean it, don't do it!"
He quickly gave me the gusher packet as Rose sprung out of her chair. I hurriedly munched on the gushers and got covered in gusher juice before Rose picked me and lifted me away from the gushers. I still had a gusher stuck on my paw with gusher juice, and I managed to nibble on it before Rose took it away. "Roooooooooooooooose! I was eating that!"
"You're going to make yourself sick!"
"But it was totally worth it!"
"Hell yes." Dave gave me a tiny high five, gusher juice ending up on his hand. "You need a bath, you're covered in gross fake juice."
"Since you were the one who thought of the brilliant idea of giving him gushers," Rose turned to Dave," you are watching over him in case he gets horribly ill. You are also going to get a moist cloth and wipe the juice off of him."
"Why not just give him a bath."
"Baths are apparently dangerous to rabbits."
"What, but there is water and puddles in nature."
"You've already taken the risk of feeding him gushers. Don't try anything else Strider." She handed me to Dave before continuing to read. After quickly wiping off gusher Juice we both started a movie. I was surprisingly fine after eating gushers, despite Rose's concerns. "I guess we can slowly figure out if any foods make you sick."
"Already on it. I'm going to go pick up Chinese take out. John, want to come with me?"
"Yes!"
"Don't take him out in public without the carrier or a leash."
"A lit much Lalonde, but I guess your madness might have a point." He got out a roll of twine from the dishwasher, tying one end to my collar and unrolling a few feet of it before cutting it and putting the roll back where it had been. He tied his end to his belt loop before grabbing keys off the counter. "I'll be back with delicious food and I'll use the elevator." We both hurried out the door and down the hall before Jade could retort.