"Oh, why'd you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you." - Imogen Heap
II.
"You're easy to talk to," Natasha said, and Darcy tilted her head so that she rested it on the couch as she faced the woman opposite her.
"I don't know about that," she replied. "I pick fights with people."
"You don't pick them with me."
"Because I'm not an idiot!" Darcy cried, laughing a bit.
She was sitting on her scratchy IKEA couch from college, the one that Annie made her take the second she announced she was hightailing it to Brooklyn when Jane offered her a job.
Her Masters done and gathering dust and her savings at next to nothing, Darcy was over the moon. She met so many people in a short amount of time, including the ex-assassin Natasha Romanoff.
"So who do you argue with?"
"My mom. Danny."
Natasha frowned.
She had not had the pleasure of meeting Danny yet. He still needed to be cleared by intelligence as a non-threat to the new organisation.
Darcy didn't tell Danny or her mom that she was employed by SHIELD or the Avengers, because neither would be true, but there was no doubting that their fates were tied together just the same.
"When you meet him - Danny, just –" Darcy hesitated. "Don't scare him."
"Scare him?" Natasha repeated, her voice flat.
"You know what I mean."
Several sharp barks ran out from somewhere beyond Darcy's front door and they both turned their heads toward the sound. Then a door slammed.
"Steve's back," Natasha murmured.
She got up from her seat, brushing her hands on her jeans before giving Darcy a quick glance.
"You want to come, too?"
The idea of inviting herself over to Steve's was daunting to Darcy. She spoke to him a few times at work but was not in the comfortable position to call him a friend.
She didn't want to overstep a boundary.
"That's okay."
"Come on. I'm going to go bug him about his sex life. You're more than welcome to participate in the nagging," Natasha replied, beginning to smile.
Darcy paused, considering the offer.
She got up from her seat as well and Natasha smiled, her voice husky. "Great."
Natasha knocked on Steve's door and they waited a few moments. From inside, more barks started up.
"The hell is he doing in there?" Darcy muttered.
"He's sitting for Sam's puppy."
Darcy grinned. "A puppy?"
The door opened slightly, and Darcy saw Steve Roger's eyes partially obscured by the door.
"Nat. And Darcy! Hey."
Darcy felt something bloom in her chest, and she smiled, then looked down. A small snout was trying to make its way through the gap in the doorway.
"Max is still hyper," Steve warned.
"I wanna meet them."
"Okay," Steve said, and he smiled back at her.
He opened the door wider, a blur of yellow fur hurtling toward Darcy.
From what she could tell, it was a Golden Retriever.
Darcy had not spoken to Steve much. Her first day at the Tower, Natasha rescued her when she stepped into the full elevator, almost entirely male staff looking down at her.
Natasha's red head poked out from behind someone's arm and she nodded at her.
"You Darcy?"
"Yeah," Darcy breathed, relieved. "I'm lost."
Someone grumbled about holding the door open to long and Natasha shot a look at someone Darcy couldn't see.
"You a damsel in distress?" Natasha continued, and Darcy felt eyes fall back on her, her cheeks burning.
She knew it was a joke, just Natasha's way of trying to make her more at ease, but she was so self-conscious with all the men staring at her.
She hated to admit it, but a room full of men made her feel vulnerable, maybe even unsafe.
She knew all these people were good; they were the ones who weren't Nazis.
"Sure," Darcy managed to reply, wincing a little.
"Cool. Let's subvert that trope," Natasha said, and squeezed out from her spot and exited the elevator, grabbing Darcy by her elbow and walking down a hallway.
"Where are we going?" Darcy asked, and Natasha threw her a glance.
"We're taking the executive route."
Down one hallway, and then another, Natasha opened a door and stepped inside. The secretary who guarded it gave her a brief glance, nodding.
"Where are we – oh, God!"
Darcy realized they were in Tony Stark's office a few seconds too late. A portrait of his parents hung above a fountain, the Stark Industries logo on another door as they made their way toward a private elevator.
"I can't be in here."
"Yes, you can."
Natasha seemed totally untroubled, more than happy to guide Darcy through breaking every rule.
Their friendship grew from there. It made sense that she and Natasha melded so well together. They both didn't like being told what to do but wanted to be part of a large organisation like the new SHIELD in order to do good.
Or in Darcy's case, help others do good.
Standing in the hallway with a puppy trying to jump on her, its paws pressing into her chest as it licked her chin, Darcy giggled.
"Sorry, she's a handful."
"She's gorgeous, I love her," Darcy sighed, and the puppy keep licking her, before noticing Natasha.
"Oh, okay," Natasha chuckled, patting her once the puppy moved onto her.
Steve watched this happen, and Darcy figured he was amused by the same thing as her – watching someone like Natasha dealing with a slobbering animal.
"What's her name?" Darcy asked.
"Max," Steve said. "Uh, Maxine. She's Sam's. He's in Costa Rico with his girlfriend."
Natasha pushed Max back a little, glancing at Steve.
"Speaking of which - I have Andrea's number for you."
Steve looked at Darcy and then Natasha. "Which one is she?"
"She's a receptionist in R&D."
Steve seemed to be drawing a blank. "Uh."
"She wore the polka dot skirt last week?"
Steve nodded a couple times, seeming to connect the dots. "Right. Yeah, she's cute."
Max barked a couple more times.
Steve shot Darcy an apologetic look. "Sorry, she's supposed to have dinner now."
Natasha ducked past him, Max following her into Steve's apartment.
"I was just –" Darcy gestured behind her. "I live here, too."
Steve just smiled a little, his eyes looking away. "I know, I'm not great at welcoming new people here. I should have stopped by weeks ago."
Darcy shrugged a little, knowing he was busy. When he wasn't leaving to go for a run or work, he didn't stop to say hello when she was in the hallway.
Maybe once he nodded at her, but Darcy considered it a fluke, and maybe he was above her security clearance.
But Natasha was always flitting around their apartment building, and they had just finished a movie and were talking about Danny when Steve got back.
She didn't want to get ahead of herself, thinking that being close to Steve would be fun. She didn't want to bother him, didn't want to be one of those fangirls always trying to get his attention at work.
He didn't respond to that usually. At least, that was what Darcy learned from Natasha earlier. When they talked about Danny being under investigation before he could join Darcy in Brooklyn, he never said he wanted to meet anybody, except maybe Thor.
Thor was Danny's favorite Avenger, which was one of the things that made Darcy love him so much.
"I'm not the best host, either," Steve added, in a low voice.
"Don't worry about it," Darcy said with a little wave, mimicking his low tone. "Can I come in, now?"
Steve remembered he was blocking her way and moved aside, and Darcy squeezed past him, smelling whatever fabric softener he used.
He smelt of baby powder and sweat.
He dwarfed her, but she knew that already. Most people were taller than Darcy. He was broad all over, and the thought made her think of Danny and how he went to the gym, but badmouthed a lot of the guys he called "Instagram model meathead posers", men he thought were inferior try-hards.
The last time Darcy reminded Danny that Thor's muscles could be seen as poser-like because he was a god, but Danny just hated the fact that she couldn't wait to correct him.
No matter how much she loved Danny, the idea of him knowing she was talking to Steve more made her uneasy.
Looking around his place, Darcy noted how sparse it was. He had a cereal box on his kitchen counter and a few pieces of furniture, but not much else.
"Uh, Nat. How's Steve meant to bring anybody back here when there's nothing?"
Natasha was playing with Max on the couch with a chew toy, and glanced Darcy's way.
"Fair point. We may have to go to IKEA."
Steve shut the door, marching over to the two women, his eyebrows raised.
"No. Even the idea of the place scares me."
"You need a makeover if you're gonna get laid, Steven," Darcy said, looking him up and down. "We'll do it like Queer Eye."
Steve let out a short, disbelieving laugh. "I haven't had any complaints so far. And that other part I'm guessing I'm supposed to understand but don't because I'm old."
"Dinosaur," Natasha said, smirking a little.
"Practically a protozoa," Darcy agreed. "We're watching Queer Eye and then we're definitely going to IKEA. This weekend."
"And then I get laid?" Steve asked, and Darcy laughed.
"I guarantee it."
After Max at her dinner and was sleeping on Darcy's feet while she sequestered one couch, with Natasha and Steve on the other, they set up a Netflix account for Steve.
"So, the idea of the show is five non-straight men makeover someone, usually a guy, over the course of a week. Each episode is one hour."
"Okay," Steve said, nodding.
He seemed to be taking everything she said seriously, and Darcy appreciated the lack of eye-rolling she would otherwise get from other men in her life.
"Each one of the Fab Five specializes in some aspect of modern life. My favorite is Jonathan."
Natasha began to laugh, and Darcy shot her a look, Steve not understanding the significance.
"That makes so much sense."
"Then who's your favorite, Romanoff?" Darcy retorted.
They all looked at the redhead, Max included.
Natasha shrugged. "Tan."
Darcy smiled, thinking. "Yeah, I can see that."
She pressed play.
With the credits rolling, Darcy looked over at Steve expectantly.
"Thoughts?"
"I get why you like it so much," Steve mused, and he smiled a little wider as Darcy placed a hand on her chest, signalling her gratitude.
"Thank you."
"Quick question," Natasha piped up. "Why not just nominate Steve for Queer Eye?"
"Because there's no guarantee even in getting an episode, when with us Steve is one hundred thousand percent likely to be swimming in puss-"
"Okay," Steve interjected, louder than Darcy. "I think I got the message. We'll do it your way."
Darcy grinned. "Are you serious?"
Steve shrugged. "What do I have to lose?"