A/N: Here's chapter two. We go to Coulson. He's going to try to find May.

Chapter two

He was an idiot. Phil Coulson, Director of SHIELD, was a complete idiot because he'd let the most important person in his life walk out of it. Or better said, he'd pushed her away. He'd let his emotions get the better of him. He replayed their final conversation over and over again in his mind every night. No matter how many times he relived it, he still woke up with a hole in his heart that seemed to get bigger with each passing day. He only had himself to blame and he was pretty sure the others blamed him too. They had every right too and he didn't blame them. He was even harder on himself. Melinda May was gone, his best friend was gone, the woman he loved was gone and he was at a complete loss how to get her back. To be able to get her back he needed to find her and she was nowhere to be found. He'd asked Skye to find her and even Skye had found no trace of her. It seemed as if she had disappeared. That meant only one thing, she didn't want to be found. That hurt too. So far, with everything they had been through together, one way or another he'd always been able to reach her. Because that is what they did, they were there for each other, always. Not anymore though because he'd told her to leave and she had done exactly that. He had told her to leave after she'd told him she cared for him. She'd kept on trying to show him that she cared, and he'd kept pushing her away. He had even chosen saving Audrey over her. He had done it to hurt her even more. Clearly it had worked, it had worked too damn well.

If he found her, he would be ready to grovel, to make amends, to do everything within his powers to get her back and he would do so by making sure she knew how much he loved her. The question was if he was going to get that chance would she even be willing to hear him out? He didn't know because when Melinda was pushed far enough, hurt deep enough, she would do anything to prevent that hurt from happening again and that could mean to never let him in her life again. That was if he ever got as far as talking to her again. At the moment that seemed far from possible.

Stepping out of his car, Phil Coulson took a deep breath and prepared himself for what was certain to be a difficult conversation. But if he wanted May back, it was time for drastic matters. He was here to talk to Melinda's mother. Maybe she knew where Melinda was and maybe she would be willing to tell him. He didn't know her very well, having only met her a briefly a couple of times. Just like her daughter Mrs. May was a woman of few words. She was very protective of her daughter. He also knew that Melinda wasn't very close with her mother, but she always let her mother know where she was. He trusted she'd done so now too. The only way to get that information from Melinda's mother was by groveling and he was prepared to do so.

He rung the door bell and as he waited for it to open, he adjusted his tie. It wasn't long before he was face to face with Mrs. May. There was no friendly greeting. She just stood in the doorway and stared at him.

"Mrs. May." He coughed, hoping he didn't sound as nervous as he felt. "My name is..."

"I know who you are."

"Yes, euh, right.." He shifted his weight and ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't have all day." Mrs. May said. She knew who was standing in front of her. She'd met Phil Coulson before. She hadn't disliked the man until now. There were only a few people who her daughter trusted and who could hurt her. He was one of them and clearly he had hurt her deeply. She knew why he was here and though she did not have the answer to his question, she wasn't going to make it easy for him. He didn't deserve that.

Clearly she wasn't about to let him into her home, which meant they were going to be this conversation on the doorstep and apparently she was in a hurry too. That didn't bode well for him at all. "Sorry." He apologized.

"I suppose you have a lot to be sorry about."

Clearly, she knew what had happened. "Yes, that's true and I want to apologize, I really do. I just can't find Melinda." He looked at her, hopeful she would see the sincerity in his eyes and tell him where she was.

"I don't trust you." She stared at him, making him squirm. She saw the sincerity in his eyes, knew he was sorry. Sorry wasn't enough.

Phil nodded at that. She was right. How could she trust him? How could he win her trust to get her to tell him where she was? He honestly didn't know. "You have every reason not to trust me. I made a mistake, a big mistake and one I regret dearly. It wasn't my intention to hurt her."

"Yes it was." Once again Mrs. May didn't mince her words and once again she was spot on.

He hung his head in shame. "At the time, yes I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me. She betrayed me. The one person I trusted betrayed me."

"And you just believed that, believed that she would betray you and decided to do the same. An eye for an eye." Mrs. May crossed her arms. "I guess you never did know her."

He deserved that, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Mrs. May had managed to throw his biggest guilt and fear right at him. He knew Melinda May. She was his best friend. He knew everything about her and he should have known that she would never betray him. He should have known better, should have known her better. His biggest fear was that Melinda felt the same, that he had never truly known her at all and that their time spend together had been a waste of time. A life without his Melinda simply wasn't an option. "I did and I do." He continued. "I made a huge mistake. I screwed up. I hurt my best friend. I hurt the one person I.." He couldn't say it because he needed Melinda to hear it first. "I need to make this right, but she won't let me find her. I just need to apologize and if after that she never wants to talk to me again, I'll accept that. But I won't go without a fight." He looked away for a moment to pull himself back together. When he had he focused back on Mrs. May. "Please, tell me where I can find Melinda."

There was no doubt about his regret nor his obvious hurt about the situation. She knew Phil had always been important to her daughter. She also knew her daughter didn't forgive easily. She did want to help him, but she couldn't. "I can't." She said.

"Just tell me where to look. You don't have to give me the precise location. Give me a nudge in the right direction."

"You misunderstood." Mrs. May clarified. "I can't, because I don't know where Melinda is."

He felt defeated. This was unexpected. He had been certain Mrs. May would know where Melinda was. "You haven't spoken to her?" He asked. May always contacted her mother.

"I have and she's doing well."

"But you don't know where she is?"

Mrs. May nodded. "She didn't tell me and I didn't ask. It's what she wants." She stepped back. "Goodbye Mr. Coulson." Not giving him a chance to say anything else, she closed the door.