CHUCK VERSUS THE CGI (Chuck 6-03)
The third episode of an imaginary sixth season of Chuck.
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, and I cannot lie; fan fiction readers can't deny.
CHAPTER 1
With Rudy Toute at the throttle, the tourist tram continues through the doorway into the big sky-blue building, which looks like a twenty-first-century remodel of an old blimp hangar. It's completely dark inside, and Sarah and Chuck tense for action—but the lights come on right away, and they see that they're in a cavernous but tidy space, with nothing in their immediate vicinity except a high-definition monitor with an IMAX-sized screen six stories tall.
The tram comes to a stop alongside the enormous monitor screen, which begins to display a mosaic of clips from various FlixPix animated feature films: each clip bright, colorful, funny, and hyperkinetic, but silent—there's no sound at all. From behind the monitor comes a slim, medium-tall man in a black-and-silver L. A. Kings jersey over jeans and running shoes. He gives the animatronic tram driver an affectionate pat on the head and then walks back along the cars toward Chuck and Sarah, grinning puckishly.
"Rudy's my baby," the man says. "The first of many."
He reaches into the tram to shake first Sarah's, then Chuck's hand. "I'm Hamilton Su—chief creative officer. Thank you both for coming to see me, Mr. and Ms. Carmichael."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Su," replies Chuck with a tinge of excitement.
"Hello," says Sarah, eyeing him more warily.
Su jumps up into the tram and takes the empty bench seat facing the one where Chuck and Sarah are seated.
"My apologies if all this seems rather un-businesslike," Su tells them, gesturing at the tram. "But right now, I can't be sure that anywhere else on our campus is secure enough."
He points to the big monitor screen. "We always bring the tour groups in here first—show them some classic clips like these, and then a short on the making of whatever feature's in production at the time. The next is Get The Zoomies, which we've scheduled for a summer 2013 release."
"You're worried about security in your own office," Sarah observes. "So it must be a problem with industrial espionage."
"Correct, Ms. Carmichael. It's been going on for some time now, and getting steadily worse. For example, you might have heard that FlixPix has lately been embroiled in a lawsuit with two low-budget foreign producers over copyright infringement."
"I do remember reading something about that…yeah," replies Chuck. "Don't recall any of the details though."
"By design. We've tried to keep it all on the down-low, and that's not easy in Hollywood. Our competitors somehow came into possession of a big chunk of a project that we already had in rendering—including all of the principal characters and many of the plot elements—and then tried to rush out their own cheap copy six months in advance of our scheduled release."
Chuck whistles. "Wow—that's brazen. Did you want us to gather evidence for that case?"
"No," Su says, "we'll let legal run with that one. The more pressing problem—the reason I brought you in—is that I'm certain there's still a spy or a mole active in our organization. Somebody who is using our own computer systems against us. And it's not just Zoomies at risk. The stakes are much higher, as you'll see."
He takes a smartphone from his pocket. "But before I continue, I need to confirm that you signed our nondisclosure agreement and the other papers."
"We have," Sarah answers. "This morning, before we left, and we e-mailed everything to the address you gave us."
"Great. Forgive me if I check on that real quick. It's just company policy." Su puts the phone to his ear and has a brief, subdued conversation with someone, then turns his attention back to Chuck and Sarah.
"Okay—we're all good. Now I can show you what I'm talking about."
Su points his smartphone at the big screen and taps out a code on the keypad. The mosaic of film clips vanishes and is instantly replaced by the computer-generated face of a friendly-looking dog, which resembles a chocolate Labrador retriever but with floppier ears, a shorter snout, and wide humanlike green eyes. The character is looking at them with genial curiosity.
"Morning, Schnebly!" Su calls out.
"Hey hey hi, Hambone!" the dog replies.
"Y'know I'd really wish you'd stop calling me that," Su grumbles in sham irritation, as Chuck and Sarah softly chuckle. "But anyway, say hello to my friends here. Mister and Mizz Carmichael, this is Schnebly H. Rover."
"Helll-lo, new friends!" Schnebly's eyes fix on Sarah, and his green irises spin like pinwheels for a moment, accompanied by a loud whir. "Specially hello blondie—" he adds excitedly. "I mean I mean—wuh-woof!"
"Easy now, Schnebly," Su gently scolds. "The lady is married—and you're a dog."
"Been hit on by worse," Sarah comments under her breath.
"Hambone—you're killin' me here!" The virtual canine looks down his snout and snuffles loudly, pretending to sulk.
"Wait a minute," Chuck interjects. "This is all CGI?"
Schnebly looks up and straight at him, enthusiastically nods yes, and cocks his head sideways with a doggish grin and panting tongue.
Su turns toward Sarah and Chuck with a satisfied expression. "By any chance do you remember Max Headroom? Maybe you're both too young for—"
"No, no—I've seen it," counters Chuck. "The old TV program…the character they called 'the world's first computer-generated show host'…right?"
"Right. Except they used a live actor and just distorted his features with prosthetics and analog manipulation. But Schnebly here—he's gonna star in Zoomies—he's the real deal!"
Chuck's eyes go almost as goofy as Schnebly's. "You mean you guys are embedding actual artificial intelligence into CGI characters now?"
"Yepper," Su says proudly. "And realistic emotions. Well…actually, those are still in beta, but we'll have them fully functional in just a few months. Which means, Mr. and Ms. Carmichael, that we at FlixPix are on the brink of radically changing our entire industry!"
"This is what you're trying to protect, isn't it?" Sarah asks.
"Yes," replies Su. He aims his phone at the screen again—and Schnebly immediately lowers his ears, closes his eyes, and drops off to sleep—"and we need you to help us do that. Our AI patents are pending and we're most vulnerable right now, so we want you to find this spy or spies before they can do real damage."
Turning to Chuck, he continues, "And I'm told you're the best—our CEO just happens to be on the board of directors of La Plata Global Gaming, and he said they call you the 'cyber-whisperer.'"
Sarah smiles and stealthily squeezes Chuck's knee.
Su leans closer to them both and lowers his voice. "But besides that…I think you two will have to work undercover in our firm. Do you have any of that kind of experience?"
"A little," says Sarah, poker-faced—and Chuck squeezes her hand squeezing his knee.
"But it means you'd have to give us pretty much free rein, Mr. Su," he says.
"That's right," Sarah concurs. "I'll need access to all of your personnel files, and full authority to interview anyone—from janitor to executive—who might have useful intel. You can rest assured they'll never know what I'm really looking for."
"And I'll need physical access to your data centers," adds Chuck. "Most likely I'll have to probe your networks. I can do that either through the front door—or the back door. Your preference."
Now Su looks a little bit intimidated, but he nods in agreement.
"Riiight then…okay, I guess you have done this kind of work before. Good…that's good. Ms. Carmichael, we'll make your cover a manager in Human Resources—we'll say you just transferred down from our Bay Area studios…."
"And Mr. Carmichael, you can be an executive tech-support admin reporting directly to me. That would give you access to any computer in the company, large or small. Front door."
"Perfect," says Chuck.
Su taps at his smartphone. "Then I'll set everything up today and have a courier deliver your ID badges no later than this evening. So you both can start right in tomorrow morning."
"That'll be all, Schnebly," he calls out, over his shoulder, at the screen. "See ya!"
The CGI dog abruptly awakens, winks at them, then turns and bounds away toward a distant virtual horizon. Next on the screen: the visage of a slightly pudgy, wryly smiling man: balding in the front and white-haired on the sides; wearing a Hawaiian shirt, FlixPix baseball cap, and wire-frame glasses; with one hand held up to casually wave goodbye.
"Isn't that Ted Roark?" Sarah asks—and she's surprised when, at that same instant, Chuck's entire body tenses alongside her. Su doesn't notice, as he's gazing almost worshipfully at the image on the six-story screen.
"Yes it is, Ms. Carmichael," says Su after a long pause. "This sound stage was named in Mr. Roark's honor. He founded this company, you know. He liked to come out here sometimes and mingle with the tour groups."
He waves toward the screen. "We do this as a remembrance, and this way he still gets to send our visitors off to their next stop like he used to."
"I…see," replies Sarah softly. Chuck says nothing. It's obvious to Sarah that he's suddenly very uneasy, but she doesn't know why.
Su looks wistfully at them both. "Ted Roark was my mentor—I loved that man. He was taken away from us much too soon…much too soon…."
Fifteen minutes later, back on the freeway
"So…what is it about Ted Roark?" Sarah asks Chuck as she slips the Lotus into the near-empty carpool lane.
"Hah—where to begin…? Let's see. Well, first Roark was my dad's colleague and then he was his nemesis. At one time or another he tried to kill my dad, kill me, you—the whole family while he was at it—"
(Flashback to Roark hoisting a shotgun at Chuck, in the middle of Ellie and Devon's ruined church wedding….)
"And he was Fulcrum," Sarah blurts out. "Terminated by the Ring."
"That's right babe—you remember!"
"Bits and pieces," Sarah replies with a shrug. "But listen to this, sweetie—what if Roark planted other Fulcrum agents inside FlixPix? For cover maybe? After Roark was dead and Fulcrum was no more, they would've needed something else to do."
"Like selling company secrets? Brilliant thinking, Sarah—as usual. Gives us a great place to start too. You can pull files on the shady characters and I'll see if I flash on any of them."
"What if one of them turns out to be Hambone?"
"But I didn't flash on him….then again, I never flashed on Roark himself either."
"Mister Su isn't off the hook just yet, I'd say. He could just be another bad guy trying to use us to do his dirty deeds. We'll have to keep an eye on him too."
"Yeah." Chuck leans back in his seat, slaps his forehead, and laughs. "First Professor Fleming and now Ted freakin' Roark. We still haven't figured out how to shake our past, have we babe? You and I just don't do normal, I suppose."
"It's okay," Sarah assures him. "Who needs normal when we do together so well?" She shoots her husband an air kiss and guns the Lotus back into Burbank.
Meanwhile, at the Burbank Buy More
(Music: "Been Away Too Long," by Soundgarden)
The big-box store has just opened for the day and there are only a few customers about, including a few who are striding forcefully across the sales floor toward the Customer Service desk carrying defective appliances. No employee is there to serve them, of course. All the Herders in their white oxfords and narrow ties and the Buy Morons in their green polos are clustered around the Nerd Herd counter, gaping and guffawing at something playing on a laptop screen.
"All-new minions…same old slackery," mutters Morgan, as he makes his way from the front entrance to the Home Theater Room, slinking along the far wall, head down, to minimize the possibility of being recognized.
Reaching his goal, he peeks inside, confirms that nobody's there…then swiftly enters, heads to the curved back corner of the room, and reaches behind for the concealed keypad that opens the secret elevator to Castle—but his fingers encounter only a bare cinder-block wall.
"Huh?" Morgan asks out loud, and gropes around in panic. "Gone? It's gone…How could it be gone?" But there's no hidden keypad—and no access to the secret elevator!
He drops his arms to his sides and takes a deep Zen breath.
"Okay Morgan—don't freak out—Plan B..." With that, he's off to the employee lounge, and his luck holds when he finds that room also unoccupied.
Wasting no time, Morgan goes over to the lockers and yanks on the pair in the middle that's configured to swing out and give access to the emergency tunnel into Castle. But they don't budge! Thinking he might have forgotten which two are the right lockers, Morgan moves down the line and tugs on each. Every one is just as securely fastened to the wall.
Elevator gone…tunnel gone…Morgan feels momentarily sick. But he takes another deep breath, stands up straight, sets his jaw, and heads for—
Big Mike's office
The hefty manager of the Buy More, having just polished off two entire steak, egg, and melty cheese breakfast sandwiches—fresh from the in-store Subway® a few steps away—crumples up the wrappers and used napkins, and slumps contentedly in his chair.
But Big Mike's food coma is short-lived, as Morgan dramatically throws open the door and storms in. Big Mike is inwardly delighted to see him, but he puts on a gruff expression.
"Huh! Didn't think it would take ya this long, son…but I knew you'd be back," he rumbles. "Too bad your old job's no longer available"—he pats his name badge—"but you're still family and I haven't hired me an assistant manager yet, so—"
"Not interested, Big Mike," Morgan cuts in curtly.
"You mean Dad," Big Mike corrects him.
"Dad. Whatever. I'm here for a different reason. You've been fully briefed, haven't you?"
Big Mike's eyes narrow, and he leans forward over his desk. "Briefed about what, son?"
"About the security business that Chuck, Sarah, and I have been running for the past several years—and our secret base located under this store. Which until recently, was actually owned by Chuck and Sarah."
Big Mike shakes his head. "That was one hell of a cock-an'-bull story when those two fools Jeff and Lester tried to sell it. And it don't sound any more true comin' from you either, son. You sure you're not really here for that assistant manager job….?"
"Never mind that," replies Morgan in mounting exasperation. "We had several concealed access routes from this store down into our facility and now they're all gone! What the hell is happening here…Dad?"
"I don't know what you're blabberin' about," Big Mike says. "Only thing that's happening is that the new owners are a lot more concerned about efficiency and savings. Good thing, too, in my book. Last week they did an energy audit for the whole store—said they found a lot of cracks and leaks needed sealing up. Especially out back in the storeroom and lounge."
Morgan puts his face in his hands. "Energy audit…So naturally you had the work done—"
"Right away! Cinder block, caulk, weatherstripping, paint—the new owners paid for everything. Said it'll cut our cooling and heating expenses in half!" Morgan groans, and Big Mike looks at him with concern. "What's wrong, son?"
Before Morgan can respond, Big Mike looks up and behind him with an amused smile as Chuck and Sarah come into the office.
"Well, well, here's Bartowski and Blondie! Sorry—Mrs. Bartowski, I mean. C'mon in! So how's the—heh, heh—spy business going these days?"
"Uh…Morgan?" Chuck asks, troubled by his friend's demeanor and Big Mike's comment. "What's going on here, buddy?"
"Big problem," Morgan replies.