Woken up amidst the night, cold sweat pouring down her pale skin, the crimson eyes shine brightly within the shadows of her room while the Tower's light dimly penetrates through the curtains. Releasing a heavy breath, the lass looks around. Was it just a nightmare? Surely it was, yet it felt so surreal. Perhaps it's her daily exhaustion forcing her mind to play dirty tricks, or perhaps there is something that ought to be remembered. Nevertheless, she sits down on the edge of the bed, feet touching the mat underneath. The deafening silence was interrupted by a ringing sound in her ears. Nights are meant to let anyone's body and mind rest, yet this feels more like a chore than an actual repose.
Standing up, she approaches the window and gently pulls the curtains to one side whilst glancing out at the outside world. It was rather calm, but this area in Oriel is known to be fairly peaceful. Her studio may be small, but she enjoys it for the small price she paid. As a sigh slipped through her lips, the strong heartbeat eventually eased down. Is her life meant to be a continuous struggle? Restless nights with terrifying dreams plaguing her every time? While her eyes stay fixated on the Tower's beauty, there was that benefit of a doubt whether the God himself was alive. She'd question its authenticity and many had strongly criticized her thinking, calling it blasphemy, heresy and other crude words. It's broken anyway, what is there to fight for?
Checking the time, around 3 in the morning, it was quite the right moment for a shower and move to Iluma, perhaps she'd find more answers there. Ever since her Archdaevic Ascension, things have become rather worse for her kind, the Elyos have begun to lose more battles. What if the Asmodians manage to actually overthrow Ariel's throne and take over Elysea? Perhaps there's too much to think at the moment, the hot water pours over her white hair. So many questions yet to answer, and no one can help with any of that. An acquaintance insisted her not to spend too much time thinking during long showers, but this does help clear her mind a little. Eventually, she dresses up in her black dress, brush the shoulder-long hair and move on. Perhaps Viola may give a clue or two regarding the ongoing war, but she doubts that greatly.
"I look like a mess," she comments quietly about her appearance while staring in the mirror. It was true, the exhaustion is already noticeable in the eyes and around it. If there's a chance to flee an Asmodian's grip, she may not make it this time, and it doesn't help her condition is worsening every day. No time to waste. Iluma might be a pretty place to be in, with the shattered Tower of Eternity in the background, its light shooting right into the vast sky. As a child, she'd admire its beauty; as a simple priest, she'd pray every time and ask Aion for proper guidance. This faithful behavior began to fade away with her Daevic Ascension, with her journey, in fact. It felt as if something had been ripped away from her heart that very moment. Is it meant to be like that? Whenever she questioned her fellow friends and strangers, they admitted never to feel like that in the first place, in fact, they felt stronger instead. That simply added more confusing feelings and thoughts than there already were.
Sometimes she feels like a stranger in her own home.
The Elysian pride was gross and disgusting to look at. These people blindly followed anything the Seraphim Lords said, the typical 'fight thy enemies, show Asmodians no mercy,' wasn't pleasant to listen to. In fact, their pride has corrupted them to the point of no forgiveness. While looking at these people may seem relatively normal, during any kind of fight they would not be afraid to spill the blood of the innocent. If God is real, why allow his own kind to fight among each other? Was it not Israphel's fault to propose a false plan of truce between the Balaur and the Daevas? And yet, we're seen as enemies, just as they are to us. How hypocritical of her, to criticize her own kind, her own people. Her mentor often encouraged with positive attitude and words, 'hope is a good thing, never lose it'. Maybe he was right all along, but the sole idea of a meaningless eternal life is rather heartbreaking to know. We all are like puppets, following where our superiors tell us to go, puppets on a string. So, if someone rebels, where do they go?
Last known case of a rebellious Elyos happened a couple years ago, where a Sorcerer admitted having connections with the Lepharists in order to expose the "truth" however, that never came to happen. He was caught and put in prison, and little is known what happened after that. Some say he changed identity, some say he's now exiled somewhere in Balaurea, but nothing is known to this day. What would happen to her if she tried to do the same? This strong urge to know the truth behind this fake mask is stinging her curiosity.
Walking this lone path is a struggle.
As the dawn approaches, with a sigh she walks inside Ariel's Sanctuary and wait for Viola to come. The guards were not the kind type, to let her in right away as if she were the enemy here, but better safe than sorry, right? Understandably, not like protesting would affect their position or mentality, but much ought to be known, much should be told. There she was, in her fine eccentric, royal clothes, sitting down on the throne. Alas, the guards had finally allowed outsiders to enter. If Viola cannot give the answers, then only one more deity remains.
Kaisinel.
Author's notes: Chapter might be short, doesn't mean there isn't more to come ;)