Allie had been in Sydney for a few years now, and for the first time in what felt like forever she was happy with her life. Well most aspects of it. Her love life was pretty much none existent, although after the disasters that were her past couple of relationships she wasn't particularly bothered about getting involved with anyone else. For the first time in her life she was focusing on herself, on her own wants and needs, and being used then thrown away by some judgmental bitch really wasn't what she needed right now. Life hadn't always been this simple though. Things had been hard when she first arrived in the city, not that it had been a planned move. At fifteen she had found herself abandoned and homeless in a strange city, with nothing but the clothes on her back. For weeks after it happened people kept telling her how lucky she was that someone found her, and that she was alive. But she didn't feel lucky, she felt scared. Scared, alone and unwanted, and she couldn't help but wish that his plan had worked. That she had died.
As a kid she loved the beach, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore calmed her in a way that very few things did, but then everything changed, and the thought of being anywhere near the ocean terrified her. Things weren't great back then, her mum suffered with depression and would spend days, sometimes weeks just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. And her dad, he was everything that a parent shouldn't be. He was angry, her was violent, and worst of all he was controlling. While Allie didn't really understand why her mum was the way she was it kind of made sense in a bizarre way. And she couldn't deny that being lost in her head would be better than dealing with everything that Eli Novak threw at them. He beat her mum, she knew that from an early age, and would often hear her crying during the night. She was pretty sure he did more than just beat her too, not that she would ever tell anyone or ask for help.
Allie had been close to her mum when she was little, and for the first few years of her life things hadn't been too bad. Her dad was always grumpy, constantly on at her for making a mess while playing with her toys, but her mum was fun. She would spend hours with her, and it didn't matter what they were doing Allie was just happy to be around her. It was a week after her sixth birthday that things changed, and while she knew her mum had spent a few days in hospital she didn't know why. Her parents would never talk about it in front of her, and when the they did speak it ended in a shouting match. After months of this it had become the norm for Allie to sleep in her wardrobe on the really bad nights, her favourite blanket wrapped tightly around her. Looking back, it didn't make much sense, but her six-year-old logic told her that if she couldn't be seen then nothing could hurt her. She could still hear it though, the cries, the screams, and as she huddled up in the back corner of her wardrobe she wondered if that's what growing up meant. If so she wanted to stay a kid forever.
Things weren't much easier at school, and while Allie was a smart kid she struggled with her concentration. Ours spent alone in her room wishing she was anywhere but there hadn't helped, and neither had the loneliness. She'd had a few friends when she was younger, but as things worsened at home she started to pull back. It wasn't intentional, but it was hard for her, especially when she was never allowed to invite her friends over after school. She felt guilty going over to their house when she couldn't return the favour, so started making excuses as to why she couldn't go. In the end the invites had stopped, and a few weeks later the teasing and bullying started. On the outside she appeared to be a happy kid, always smiling, but that smile hid a world of pain. Not that anyone took the time to notice.
She was eleven when things started to pick up a little. A family had moved in across the street and despite being several years older than Allie, their daughter Karen Proctor, or Kaz as she preferred to be called was always nice to her. Kaz was in her final year of high school whereas Allie was in her first, and one evening when she was walking home from school a group of girls jumped her. There was seven of them, and Allie was all alone. While she was determined not to go down easy she knew she was fighting a losing battle. They dragged her into the park, punching and kicking at her as they did, and she was just about to give up the struggle when she fell to the ground. It took her a few seconds to figure out what was going on, but after seeing the ringleader of the group getting her arse kicked by Kaz the others made a hasty retreat.
The older blonde took Allie under her wing after that, and once word got around no one touched her again. At least not for a couple of years. Kaz had taken a year out after leaving school, wanting to get some money together before she headed off to university. And while Allie was glad that the older blonde would still be around for a while longer, knew that she would be leaving Melbourne eventually. She'd applied to a university in Sydney and had already secured a place. As much as she was looking forward to the challenge, she was reluctant to leave Allie behind. She had become like a sister to her, and she was worried about the young girl.
When the day finally came for Kaz to leave Allie was heartbroken, and the sense of loneliness was worse than before. She felt isolated from everyone and wished that her only real friend could have stayed. The older blonde wasn't faring much better either, and despite being in an exciting place and surrounded by hundreds of new people, it didn't make leaving any easier. She had sensed that something wasn't right in the Novak household, and despite there being no physical signs of abuse she couldn't help but worry about the young blonde. She knew all about domestic violence, having been taken away from her biological parents when she was eight. Her father had been abusing her for a couple of years by this point, and if her teacher hadn't made the unexpected trip out to their farm one evening and caught him with his daughter in the barn she dreaded to think how things would have turned out.
It was hard for a while, and when she was sent to her first foster family she rebelled. The couple they had sent her to were stern and controlling, and if she didn't do what they told her to immediately she was rewarded with a slapped bottom. Having someone's hands on her, especially another mans had freaked her out and as a result she started acting up in the hope they would send her back. It didn't take long, and a couple of months after she put her plan into place she was back in the home with the other children. It took another twelve months before another couple came along, but after the previous issues the staff at the home wanted Karen to spend more time with them than usual to make sure she was happy.
Several months later she was in her new home, and she couldn't be happier. They were so good with her, giving her space when she needed it, and being there for her when she needed support. It took a little time, but eventually the nightmares faded and she could go back to being a kid again. Her birth mother tried to contact her a year after she went to live with the Proctors, but she refused to see her. She had all the family she needed, and finally had a mum and dad that loved her. The other woman could go to hell for all she cared.
The first time she saw Allie she knew something was wrong, not that the younger blonde would ever admit it. She was always smiling, but that smile never quite reached her eyes. She hid behind that smile, something Kaz knew all about. Over time the two of them had become close, and one night a sobbing Allie had finally opened up and told her what was going on. Kaz was happy to hear that her friend wasn't being physically abused, but that didn't mean it would stay that way. And she was determined to help Allie in any way she could.
When the time came for her to leave for university Kaz almost didn't go. Allie was smiling as usual, telling her that she was going to have so much fun. But it wasn't the smile she had become accustomed to receiving from the girl she saw as her sister. She knew that Allie was putting on a brave face, not wanting to put a downer on what should be the start of an exciting new adventure for the older blonde. And while she couldn't wait to get to university, she wished there was some way she could take Allie with her.
They stayed in touch, talking at least a couple of times a week, but it wasn't the same. Kaz came home whenever she could and had arranged for Allie to visit her during her second year at university. She was living in a house with three fellow students now so it was easier for her to have people over. And she missed her little sister terribly. The younger blonde had been so excited when they had spoken a few days ago to finalise the plans. Kaz had booked and paid for her plane ticket and would be meeting her at the airport, but when the day finally arrived Allie didn't show up.
Kaz waited for hours after her flight had landed, but after finally confirming that the younger woman hadn't boarded the flight in Melbourne she headed home. They had scheduled times when they would call one another, Kaz so she could work around her studies and Allie so she didn't get an earful from her dad. But the older blonde was worried, and despite it being outside their usual time she called the Novak house anyway. As suspected there was no answer which did little to calm the blonde's nerves, but short of heading back to Melbourne there wasn't much she could do from where she was. She called her parents after that, asking them to keep an eye out for Allie and to get her to call her as soon as she could. This was so unlike the young girl, and Kaz couldn't help but worry.
It had been three weeks since Allie failed to show, and despite keeping a pretty much constant lookout Mr and Mrs Proctor hadn't eve seen so much of a glimpse of the young blonde. She had spent a lot of time at their house when Karen was living at home and continued her visits after she went to university. Although they weren't quite so often. They knew their daughter was worried, and she wasn't the only one. Something definitely wasn't right with Allie's parents and her sudden absence only made their suspicions worse. Karen had been back home every weekend since young Allie failed to show up, and despite calling the police nothing had come of it.
Kaz had been back at university for a couple of days when her dad called, letting her know that Allie's mum had been arrested on suspicion of murder, and that Mr Novak was dead. There was still no sign of Allie though, and after her arrest Mrs Novak had a breakdown so no one could get anything from her. The police finally looked into Allie's disappearance, but after coming up empty handed she ended up being another name on the missing persons register. They had given up on her, but Kaz hadn't, and she never would. Despite what everyone kept telling her, she knew her little sister was out there somewhere. And she was determined to find her.
She was lonely after Kaz went to Sydney, and despite the regular phone calls and letters she felt lost. Six months later a new student arrived at their school. She wasn't from the area and became an instant target for the bullies and popular kids. Allie hated seeing anyone get bullied, and despite knowing she would make herself more of a target, she took her under her wing. Things at school got progressively worse after that, but no matter what they threw at them, Allie and Sienna were inseparable. She still missed Kaz, but the relationship she had with the older blonde was different.
Allie suspected that she was gay from an early age, and the first time Kaz introduced her to her friends, or one friend in particular, her suspicions proved to be correct. Ella was beautiful, stunning even, and the first time their eyes locked Allie thought her heart would explode. She was nervous around the older girl, and after a while Kaz started to tease her about it. It took a while, but Allie finally admitted to having a crush on the raven-haired girl. She had been nervous about saying anything, not knowing how the one person she trusted more than anything would react to finding out she was gay. She had worried for nothing in the end, and despite a little teasing over her crush on Ella, Kaz had taken it in her stride.
She'd never told anyone else since though, not even Sienna. But the closer they got the more their relationship started to change, at least from Allie's side. She was staying over at her friend's house when something happened between them, and it wasn't Allie who made the first move. They'd been laid on Sienna's bed watching a movie and the blonde had fallen asleep. It had been a bad week at home and sleep had been hard to come by. But she felt relaxed at the brunette's house and hadn't realised she had dozed off until soft fingers brushing over her cheek woke her. Opening her eyes, she gazed into the grey green orbs of her close friend before feeling her soft lips ghosting over hers. The touch was barely there, but Allie knew that she wanted more. Running her fingers through her friend's hair she cupped the back of her head, bringing her in closer and reconnecting their lips.
They started dating after that, although they kept their relationship a secret from everyone. Allie wanted to shout it from the rooftops, but her girlfriend kept saying that she needed more time. Then one day they got caught together, and in a matter of hours it was all over the school. Sienna's parents didn't take the news too well, and when they sat their daughter down for a chat she blamed Allie for everything. Less than a week later the bullying started again, but this time Allie had no one. Sienna was avoiding her, and the rest of the school were accusing her of forcing herself on the unsuspecting brunette. It didn't matter what she said, they had already made their mind up about her.
Things went from bad to worse after that, and after a particularly bad day at school she came home to a warzone. Her parents were screaming at each other as they usually did, but the second she stepped through the door she knew what this particular argument was about. They had clearly heard the rumours. Everything started to unravel after that, and Allie was praying that she could make it through the next couple of days. She was due to fly over to Sydney to spend the holidays with Kaz and really needed the break, now more than ever. She never made the flight, although she did make it to Sydney. Not that she knew where she was when she first woke up in the hospital.
For the first few days after she woke in the hospital Allie genuinely couldn't remember anything, not even her name. But piece by piece her memory started to return, not that she let on to the doctors. It was easier to say she couldn't remember than admit that her own father had tried to kill her. He never really wanted her, she knew that from a young age, but she didn't think he would ever do something like this. What hurt the most was that her mum wasn't out there looking for her. She had spent hours staring at the tv screen in her room waiting for an appeal to come on the news, any kind of sign that someone out there cared about her whereabouts. But that never happened. She suspected that had something to do with her dad as well. She knew he worked for the government but wasn't sure in what capacity. Whatever it was he did for a living it was secretive, why else would he hide away in the basement for hours on end. She had tried to sneak in one day, but got caught, and the punishment had been enough to make her stay well clear from then on.
Two weeks after she woke up, or maybe it was three, time seemed to both drag and race while she was stuck in there, she saw her mum's face on the news. Turning the tv up she waited for what she was expecting to be a missing persons appeal, only to find it wasn't. Her mum was up on a murder charge, after what the reporter described as a frenzied attack on her husband. Eli Novak was found dead in the kitchen at the family home, and Eleanor Novak was sitting beside him, a bloodied knife in her hand. Allie couldn't honestly sit there and say she blamed her mum, especially after the way her father treated her. But where did that leave her? In a strange city with nothing, and no family.
Despite several sessions with the hospital psychologist the only information Allie had given out was her name and age. It was pointless telling them about her family, and she had no home to go back to now, even if she wanted to. Whatever happened now, whether she stayed here or went back to Melbourne, she would end up in the system. And at least this way she would be closer to Kaz. Things hadn't exactly gone to plan though, and after being tossed around in the system for a while with no real stability she finally turned sixteen and decided to make he own luck.
She still kept up with her schoolwork but needed to get a place of her own. She had no privacy whatsoever and with such a varied age range at the home she was staying at they all got treated like kids. Allie had done surprisingly well in her mock exams, despite missing quite a bit due to her hospitalization. They had suggested that she repeat the year but she knew that she needed to start making money, and fast. It wasn't like she had a family to support her, and so had to step up and get a job. The blonde had been just as surprised as her teachers by her results, but deep down she was proud of what she had achieved so far and was determined to finish school with decent grades. She had hoped to go off to university and make something of her life like Kaz had. Or at least that's what she assumed the older blonde had done. Allie had tried to find her after being released from hospital but had no luck. She didn't give up though, and for months after she left the hospital that was the only thing that got her through the day.
She managed to get a part time job a few weeks after her sixteenth birthday. It wasn't much, and washing dishes wasn't exactly what had come to mind when she thought about a career. But she had never imagined she would end up in a different city following a foiled murder attempt by her dad either. But life was interesting like that, or at least it had been for Allie. She met her first real girlfriend there, and for a while life was good. Paige was one of the chefs at the restaurant she worked at, and during her second week of the job Allie had collided with a colleague, resulting in her dropping a stack of plates. The head chef had laid into her in front of everyone and Paige had stood up for her, despite them not really knowing each other.
Allie had been grateful, and after their shift ended offered to buy her a drink as a thank you. She just hoped her fake ID wouldn't let her down. It quickly became clear that Paige was after more than a drink, and while she wasn't really the blonde's type she seemed nice enough. She was a few years older than Allie, confident and very pretty, there was no doubt about that, but personality wise they didn't have a lot in common. Not that the raven-haired woman was overly interested in talking. A quick thank you between the sheets soon turned into something a lot more, and without either of them realising it, they had fallen into a relationship of sorts. Six months later the blonde moved in with her and they made it official, and for the first-time things seemed to be going Allie's way.
They had been together a little under a year and while things weren't always easy Allie thought they had something good. They'd been arguing more recently, and the blonde had found drugs in the small flat that they shared on a couple of occasions. But when she questioned Paige about it she said they belonged to a friend that had been over to visit. Allie believed her the first time, but her behaviour had been a little erratic recently and this time she wasn't so sure. They'd had a huge fight and Paige had stormed off, but not before slapping the blonde around a little first. She'd been gone three days and Allie hadn't heard from her at all. She hadn't turned up for her shift either, and when the blonde had asked about it was simply told that she had taken a few days off due to a family emergency. Allie knew that was a load of crap, but she didn't want to get her girlfriend into any trouble, so kept her mouth shut.
It became a bit of a pattern over the next eighteen months, and every time they fought Paige would lash out then disappear for a couple of days, apologising profusely when she finally came back home. Allie wasn't sure what to make of it all but knew that she couldn't carry on like this for much longer. She wouldn't be able to afford a flat of her own though, and as well as working at the restaurant she was studying in the evenings, another thing that caused friction between the couple. She had been promoted from dishwasher to waitress, and the tips helped a great deal. But things were tight, even with two salaries coming in. Allie knew that it wasn't a good enough reason to stay, but despite all their problems she was pretty sure she loved Paige and wanted it to work.
It all came to a head a couple of months later, on her nineteenth birthday of all days. Paige had organised a party for her at one of the bars they frequented, not that Allie was particularly bothered. She would have been much happier just going out for a meal with her girlfriend and their friends, but the raven-haired woman wouldn't listen. Not wanting to cause a fuss she had gone along with it to keep the peace, pushing her own needs to one side once again. This had been happening more and more, and the longer they were together Allie felt as though she was losing herself in the relationship.
She had been working on her birthday and wasn't due home until six, but her boss had surprised her by letting her leave once the lunchtime rush had died down. Although the surprise waiting for her back at the flat that she shared with her girlfriend had blown that out of the water. She knew something was off the second she walked through the door, but she hadn't expected to find her in bed with one of her friends. Allie didn't have many friends, but the ones she did have she meant the world to her. So, to find the person she was closest to outside of her relationship in bed with her girlfriend, pretty much destroyed her. And to make it worse the one person she knew she could rely on was out there somewhere, but she had no idea where. Allie wanted so badly to pick the phone up and call Kaz but she couldn't, and that hurt more than anything. She's never stopped looking for the older blonde, but it was as though she had vanished, disappeared off the face of the earth.
Allie was expecting a huge fight, maybe a slap or two, even though she wasn't the one who had cheated, followed by the usual begging for forgiveness. But it hadn't come, not this time. Paige had simply put her clothes back on and walked out, her arm wrapped tightly around the waist of Allie's former friend. The blonde had hardly slept that night, and when she dragged herself into work the following day was a little surprised to be summoned to the office. Within the space of ten minutes her situation had gone from bad to worse, and she was fired. Money had been going missing from the till for some time, and after a random search that morning it had been found. In Allie's locker. She knew that it was bullshit, and they were just using it as an excuse to get rid of her, but it didn't make it any easier to swallow. As she left the place she had worked for over almost three years she caught a glimpse of Paige out of the corner of her eye, and it was clear by the smirk on her face that she was behind her latest misfortune. What hurt the most though was the look of disgust on the rest of her colleagues faces, and it was clear by the way that none of them would make eye contact that they believed she was the thief.
In a haze Allie made her way back home, but when she got there the locks had been changed. Everything she owned was in the flat, and for the second time in so many years found herself alone in the city with nothing but the clothes on her back. She was just glad she had her wallet with her this time. At least she had some money and would be able to afford a place to stay, although with no job it would have to be cheap. Leaning against the door, Allie slides down it before taking her phone from her pocket and calling her now ex-girlfriend. She wasn't surprised that it went straight to voicemail, and she didn't bother leaving a message. There was nothing left to say. Had she been played from the start, or was it only recently? And why did everyone always abandon her?
She had spent the first night in a cheap hotel, but the following morning when she went to the ATM draw some money out was surprised to see her account practically empty. Logging on to her banking app on her phone she saw that everything other than a few cents had been transferred out the previous evening. She knew Paige was behind it, and she had gone too far this time. Making the forty-minute walk across town she approached the place that up until recently she had called home and knocked on the door. It felt weird being here and not just walking in, but whatever happened she knew she couldn't forgive her this time. Paige eventually answered the door, and although Allie wasn't surprised to find her former friend there with her, it still hurt. Things didn't go well as expected, and it was clear that her ex-girlfriend was looking for a fight. But Allie was determined not to bite, no matter ho hard she pushed. And she pushed hard. She also hit, and kicked, and half an hour later a bloodied and bruised Allie stumbled out of the door and into the street, the two hundred dollars she'd hidden in one of her books tucked safely into the pocked of her jeans.
Allie had gone back to the hotel but after taking one look at her they turned her away. After wandering around for a few hours, she came across a backpacker's hostel and was able to secure a bed for a week. It was in a large dorm, and wasn't ideal, but she didn't have much choice right now, and was quickly running out of options. Sydney was an expensive city. It had been a month, and other than a couple of cash in hand jobs Allie still hadn't managed to find anything permanent. Her previous employer was either refusing to give her a reference or telling them she was a thief. Either way she was in a mess. She had no money left and had been kicked out of the backpacker's hostel two days ago. She'd spent the previous night sleeping on the beach, or at least trying to. Being so close to the sea had freaked her out, resulting in some pretty horrific nightmares. While some of the events were vague, she would never forget the night her dad had taken her out on a boat and thrown her overboard.
Having a daughter hadn't been a part of his plan for life, and she knew that he'd always wanted a son. But when she turned out to be a lesbian that was the final straw. The day her parents found out they had argued and fought late into the night, and the next morning the young blonde had been dragged out of bed and thrown into a chair at the dining table. Her dad had come up with a plan to send her away to get 'fixed', but when she refused he lost it. The rest of the day had been a bit of a blur, and the first thing she remembered was coming to in the cabin of a boat. Her hands were tied, and she could feel the dried blood on her face as well as the pain in her cheek. She couldn't focus properly and felt sick but wasn't sure if that was due to the pain or something else.
After wriggling around for a while she managed to loosen the restraints on her wrists and was just about to open the cabin door when she heard the footsteps approaching. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves she got back on the bed and closed her eyes again, pretending to be asleep. He clearly hadn't intended for her to wake up, and she was torn between pretending to still be out of it and fighting back. The decision was made for her when she realised what he was trying to do, but despite the struggle she was no match for his strength. When she hit the water, she knew that was it. They were miles from anywhere and despite being a relatively good swimmer she wouldn't be able to keep herself afloat for long. Allie couldn't remember much after that, but when she had woken up to a white ceiling and bright lights thought she was dead. Luckily it had been the hospital instead, and despite the majority of her memory coming back, she had no idea how she had ended up there.
Things had been difficult since her break-up with Paige, and the few friends Allie had turned on her after her ex decided to spread lies about her. It was bad enough that Paige had cheated on her in the first place, but to use Allie's past as a way to justify her actions and push the blame onto her was a low blow. She could have defended herself, but if they had been real friends they would have at least had the decency to hear her side of the story before badmouthing her all over town. It was hard, and after being used to having someone around she had been lonely. But she'd has a lot worse said about her over the years. Allie knew she had been stupid but she was the first woman to show her any real attention, and that was something she had craved badly at the time. In hindsight she should have cut and run ages ago, especially as she later found out that Paige had been playing around from the start. And had cheated on her with half of the lesbian population of Sydney.
Life continued in a downward spiral for Allie, and with no luck on the job front and no money she found herself on the streets. She was scared to close her eyes at night, and afraid to open them in the morning knowing that she had to face yet another day out here alone. The hunger was worse than anything though, and after a couple of weeks she had come across a women's shelter. It was late in the day so all the beds were taken but at least she could get a decent meal, take a shower and change her clothes. She'd started staying there more often after that, although she wasn't always able to get a bed.
Three months after Allie started going there they changed their policy and she was able to get a permanent place at the shelter. It wasn't much, and the decoration left a lot to be desired, but it was warm and dry, and safer than being out on the streets. The rules were pretty simple, no men, no drugs, and if you didn't want to get locked out you had to be home by eleven. Rules Allie thought she would have no problems keeping, especially if it meant she was off the street. The first six months had gone well, and while she still wasn't able to find a proper job, the shelter would give the residents money for cooking and cleaning. Allie wasn't much of a chef, but she didn't mind the cleaning and could happily spend hours humming along to herself as she mopped the endless corridors.
The money wasn't much, but it was enough for her to buy herself a few clothes. While she was thankful for the ones the shelter provided, most of them were either too big or not to her taste. Not that she was in a position to be picky. A few months after Allie started living there another woman came in. They were of a similar age and had both had a difficult time when growing up. Zoey seemed nice enough, and soon started on the same cleaning roster as the blonde. They became friends quickly, although after everything Allie had gone through with Paige was a little wary of getting too close to anyone. Allie was flirty by nature but had tried to reign it in a little, not wanting to give the other woman the wrong idea. But one night they'd both had a little too much to drink and they slept together.
It was nice but not earth shattering, and after what had happened in her previous relationship Allie needed more than that. They got on well as friends, but she didn't see anything more than that in their future, despite Zoey's best efforts to get her back into her bed. The blonde was aware the other woman was a drug user, but she would never go near Allie when she was high. That was another reason she didn't want to get into any kind of relationship with Zoey. She suspected that the drugs she had found at the flat she had shared with Paige were hers, and if that was the case it would definitely explain her somewhat erratic behaviour. She was trying to get her life back on track, and the last thing she needed was to get dragged into that world.
Zoey was persistent though, and despite the now near constant knockbacks from the blonde she just kept coming back for more. The more she pushed the more distance Allie put between them, until they were barely speaking. Allie had changed her cleaning roster, not wanting things to be awkward between the two of them, and one afternoon after finishing her duties had been a little surprised to find Zoey in her room. She was looking under the bed, but when Allie questioned her she said she had lost one of her earrings and wondered if it was in her room. The blonde thought it was a little strange as it had been a few weeks since the other woman had been in her room, but not wanting to get into anything with Zoey decided to let it go. She had noticed that Zoey seemed to be hanging around with one of the girls who worked in the kitchen, which she was happy with. While she didn't want a relationship with the other woman, it was good to see her happy and smiling.
A few days later Allie started to feel a little off. There had been some sort of stomach bug going around the shelter so she put it down to that, but after three days she seemed to be getting worse. She was sweating, shaking, and could barely focus on anything. The thought of food made her feel sick, and even getting out of bed was a struggle. She hadn't left her room for two days, and the only human interaction had been when one of the girls from the kitchen had brought her something to eat and drink. She'd barely touched her food, but the juice was a welcome relief. She was really thirsty so was happy when the drinks kept coming, although she wasn't feeling any better.
The blonde was fast asleep in bed later that night when she was woken by a loud bang. A few minutes later the shelter manager came crashing through her door and ordered her to get up, one of the security guards practically dragging her from her bed and out into the corridor as they stared to search her room. After the shelter manager came out of her room carrying three bags of what she assumed were drugs Allie knew she had been set up by someone. There had been rumours going around for a few days about a drugs raid taking place, and everyone had been on tenterhooks ever since. She wasn't particularly worried and figured once she explained the situation they would understand. She had never willingly taken a drug in her life, although she was pretty sure her dad had given her something the night he tried to kill her. But the manager wouldn't listen and had simply ordered the guard to take her to the medical room for a drugs test. Again, Allie wasn't worried and knew they wouldn't find anything, so when the nurse tested it straight away and it came back positive she was more than a little bit shocked.
She protested, saying there must be some kind of mistake, but they still didn't believe her. They gave her ten minutes to pack her bags before kicking her out. It was the middle of the night, pouring with rain, and she felt like shit. Although she now knew what had been making her ill for the past few days. Someone had clearly been drugging her, and she had her suspicions as to who it was. What she couldn't understand was why Zoey would get close to someone like that. As the fog in Allie's brain started to clear she tucked her hands into her pockets to keep them warm, finding what felt like a small bag and piece of paper. Pulling it out of her pocked she read the note, feeling the tears threatening to fall as the words sunk in.
I always get what I want, and I wanted you. It's a shame really, you were a good fuck and I'm going to miss seeing your pretty face around here. But no one rejects me and gets away with it. I'm not totally heartless though, so enjoy the baggie…it's the least I could do considering. Z x
It all made sense now, Zoey cosying up to the girl in the kitchen was all about getting revenge. Sliding down the wall she had been leaning against Allie ignored the rain that was soaking her through. Wrapping her arms around her knees she cried, cried like she hadn't in a long time. She was so sick of being treated like an object, a toy that people could play with then cast to one side. Was she really such an awful person that she deserved to be used like this? Her head hurt, her heart ached, and she was scared. Deciding she had nothing left to lose she tore the note in half, emptying the white power onto one half before making a tube out of the other. The rush from the drug was pretty much instant, and Allie felt all of her worries disappear. She felt warm, she felt free, but more importantly she felt happy.
The high didn't last though, and pretty soon she was doing whatever it took to chase that feeling. She became addicted quickly, and as a result fell into prostitution to fund her habit. It had been hard at first, and she was disgusted with herself for doing what she was doing. But as soon as the drugs were back in her system she could think of nothing else but her next hit. Weeks turned into months, and before she knew it Allie was hanging on by a thread. She had stayed at the homeless camp for a while but had what little she possessed stolen so decided to move on. It took every bit of energy she had to find a reason to get through the day, and she hated herself with a passion.
The tipping point came around eight months later when she was sitting in the doorway of a shop that had closed down, her small cup in front of her as she tried to scrape enough money together for something to eat. It had been days since she had last eaten and she was constantly tired. It hadn't been a bad morning, and despite the weather she had a few dollars in her cup. Deciding to give it another hour before going in search of food she sat back and closed her eyes. She was just about to drop off to sleep when she heard it, the voice she once loved coming home to, the voice that had taunted her before kicking her out of her own home. Opening her eyes, she came face to face with Paige. There was another woman with her, a brunette who didn't look much older than Allie had been when they first met. Her arm was wrapped around Paige's waist as they moved closer.
Allie wished more than anything that the ground would open up and swallow her. Her sense on self loathing was bad enough, without the one person who had started the domino effect in her life seeing her in this state. The verbal abuse she had been expecting never came, instead the woman who she thought she once loved simply spat at her before kicking over her cup, scattering the coins all over the pavement. Laughing at the blonde she called her the same three things her dad had that night, before walking away.
She was embarrassed, ashamed, and everyone was staring at her. Ignoring the money that lay taunting her on the floor she stood up and walked away. She didn't bother picking her blanket up, she wouldn't need it where she was going. It was too hard, she couldn't go on like this anymore. She had nothing, nobody, and couldn't see a way out. Part of her wishes that whatever drug her dad had given her that night had been stronger. What was the point in waking up and making it back to shore if this was all that was waiting for her. Allie was tired, her body ached and she felt so alone. She wanted out, so after heading to the beach she made her way along the rocks. The closer to the ocean she got the louder his words were in her head. Disgusting, dirty, worthless, three words on repeat racing through her mind. Maybe he had been right all along, and she would be better off dead. Living was no fun, so what did she have to lose. It wasn't like anyone would miss her.
Allie wasn't sure how long she had been out there on the rocks, but she was soaked through. Not that she cared. If she didn't drown then hopefully the hypothermia would take her instead. Standing up from the rock she was perched on she made her way towards the ledge. Taking a deep breath, she filled her lungs with air for what would probably be the last time, before stepping closer to the edge. Something was wrong. She should be falling, should have hit the water by now, but instead she felt an arm around her waist, and a firm body pressed against her back. It took a while for her brain to catch up, although she suspected the drugs she had taken a few hours ago had a lot to do with that. But as soon as she realised she was being led away from the cliff edge she tried to get away. Whoever had a hold of her was a lot stronger than she was though, and much more stable. She only made it a few centimetres before she was pulled back yet again.
She couldn't remember much about what happened out on the rocks but was surprised to find herself back on the safety of the beach. Trying to make sense of everything she turned her attention to the woman that had rescued her, and as she gazed into her chocolate brown eyes she felt like she had a purpose again, a reason to fight. Her head was a jumbled mess, and she didn't trust herself to speak but she couldn't just do nothing. She needed her to know that she was grateful, and despite fighting against her, she was glad she held on. It was a split-second decision, and didn't last much longer than that, but before Allie could stop herself she leaned in and kissed her. It was the briefest of kisses, chaste even, but when their lips touched the blonde felt something she hadn't felt in a very long time. She felt safety, she felt hope.
Seeing the shock on the other woman's face she took one last look, burning her image into her mind before bolting from the beach. She couldn't risk sticking around and being rejected by yet another person but knew if she stayed that's what would happen. Nobody wanted her and this time wouldn't be any different, but for a few seconds she had felt happier than she ever had. Allie wasn't sure what had changed but something definitely had. Maybe those chocolate brown eyes held some sort of magical power, or maybe she was crazy. But whatever the reason she knew she needed to get off the drugs. She felt like she'd been given a second chance at life. Or was it a third. If so then third time lucky.
With her new-found determination Allie made her way off the beach while trying to formulate a plan. She needed to get off the streets, and fast. Being out there wasn't helping her addiction at all, and she knew that she needed to deal with that as a priority. Deciding to head to the local library so she could use the internet she changed direction, making a mental note of all the things she needed to change in her life as she walked on. Allie was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't see the car approaching as she stepped out into the road, only realising a second or two before it hit her. The impact was hard, followed a few seconds later by another one when she hit the floor.
She had never felt pain like it and could feel herself drifting into unconsciousness. It felt nice, warm, safe even, and despite the determination she had felt not long ago she wondered if it would be easier to give in and let go. But no sooner had those thought entered her head, they were replaced by chocolate brown eyes and flame red curls, and she knew she had to fight. She could hear voices, so many voices but one seemed louder than the rest.
Allie…Allie…oh fuck" she heard them say, wondering how the hell they knew her name. The voice sounded familiar but her head felt like it was in a spin cycle and she couldn't place it.
Forcing her eyes open she gazed into the icy blue pools of the only person who had truly cared about her. The person she never thought she'd see again. "K…Kaz…" she mumbled before finally losing consciousness.
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A/N: Thank you for all the fantastic comments on the first chapter. This one will be a little darker than FMG in places but will be nowhere near as brutal as the ending of S4…even with S6 fast approaching I'm still not over it! :(