Chapter Two:
"Sleep tight, honey," Mom said, patting my back. "We'll be there in the morning after breakfast. Around 10."
Dad put his hand on Cedric's shoulder, and I avoided him, starting to leave the room. "You going to be okay, Ced?"
Cedric nodded. "I'll go to sleep eventually."
"You look exhausted."
"I can't sleep most of the nights. It's too...too hard." His voice sounded so pained that I wanted to turn around and comfort him. I was too scared to be pushed away, so I left the room.
I lied down in my sleeping bag, shivering a little. I knew what was going to happen before I even closed my eyes. I fell in to an immediate sleep. It wasn't long before Janecia leapt out of nowhere, tormenting me in my dreams. Faren and the snake. Ronan, convulsing on the ground. Cedric. Bunny squirrels. Poison rain. More and more, over and over again.
Suddenly, something interrupted me. I jerked away, struggling to get away from whatever it was that had woke me up.
"Hush, I won't let anything hurt you," Cedric's voice.
I tensed, but stopped thrashing. "Why are you here?" I asked, trying not to sound weak.
"I heard you scream. I was worried."
"You weren't asleep?" I asked, my voice not so strong anymore.
"I couldn't sleep."
We both sat there in the dark, in complete silence, for quite a while. I let tears fall out of my eyes, and I put my arms around him. He hugged me back, whispering, "It's okay. Shh, it's alright."
Once I had fallen silent and lied back again, Cedric stood up. "I'm going."
"No, please don't," I whispered. "Please don't leave again."
"I don't want to be hurt again," Cedric said softly, his voice hard and bitter.
I whispered weakly, "And I don't want to be left again."
"All I ever do is set myself up for pain," he growled, lying down next to me.
It took a couple minutes, but after that, I leaned in to him. He thought that I was going to hurt him again. He pressed his cheek against my hair. He was so warm and comforting that I was able to close my eyes and have a dreamless sleep.
"Time to wake up," I heard a soft whisper brush against my ear. I blinked a little, and squinted up at Cedric.
"Ugh," I muttered.
"Not much of a morning person, are you?" he said, a small smile on his lips. I had a feeling this was the first smile in a couple months.
I shrugged, attempting a smile back. I know I failed, but he appreciated my attempt and put an arm around me.
"You going to be okay?" he asked softly.
I shrugged again. "Are we..." I tried to ask what I had wanted to, but I couldn't. The words froze in my throat and died.
"Friends? Of course," he said, now sounding like I had a couple months ago.
I felt my heart plummet. "Friends? Oh, yes, yes. Of course. Heh, friends," I said, trying to sound like that was absolutely fine. I know it wasn't though. "Friends...yeah, friends."
I walked away, the feeling of his arm around me still lingering in my mind as I sat down for breakfast. Mom and Dad were there. Cedric sat across the table from me. I refused to look at him. It was difficult, seeing him right there, within arms reach, and know that I had lost him. He was so lost that I wasn't sure I would be able to find him.
"We're here. Go visit Adeon. He'll want to dress you up," Mom said, smiling at me sweetly, though there was a depth of uneasiness in her smile. I suddenly remembered: This was the home District of her friend, Rue.
I nodded and walked to the other compartment. Adeon didn't even try to start a conversation. He gave me a comforting hug, and then helped me in to a warm coat, mittens, and some warm stylish boots.
Mom, Dad, Cedric and I walked out, and we could see our breaths in the air. The cold air bit at my nose and cheeks, and I was grateful for the mittens.
There were so many people. I have never been on a stage so large before where I could actually see the people. I was scared as I looked at them, shivering, thin, weak, poor. A bitter thought crossed my mind. I thought my mother had fixed this. Now, look at them. Looking like animals that won't survive the winter.
The tributes families were standing near us, watching us with despondent eyes. I watched them in silence, seeing how they didn't care about their revenge, but the loss of their son and daughter, brother and sister.
My speech was short but whole-hearted. I didn't even have to pretend to care. I really did. I walked over to Corliss's(District 11 tribute) family. She had a sister and two brothers. Arvel, the boy, had three brothers. I knelt next to the girl, who had to be around eight. She looked at me with her pretty brown eyes. I took off my gloves and handed them to her.
She tried them on and smiled when they warmed her small, cold hands.
"For you," I whispered, my hands starting to get cold.
I handed a scarf to both of the mothers, and in return they gave me teary-eyed hugs.
"Thank you so much," Arvel's mother whispered as we walked away. I nodded at her with a sad grimace.
"Why'd you give the little girl your mittens?" asked Cedric, holding my hands. "Your hands are freezing."
"She needs them more than I do. Did you see the twenty pairs of gloves Adeon has all lined up?"
We remained quiet until we reached the train. "It was the right thing to do," my mom said quietly. "Did you know that Corliss would be Rue's niece?"
I looked at my mom in miserable shock. "Oh? Corliss died from the lava. Arvel was eaten alive by giant spiders. I thought the reason for the war thirty years ago was to fix all of this." I hadn't meant my voice to be cold and bitter and accusing, but it felt true. It was true. Then why wasn't it all fixed?
Cedric told me quietly, "You don't need to be like that. If the Capitol hears you - "
"Then they can deal with it!" I shouted for the first time in months, tears coming to my eyes. "I'm so sick and tired of my life!" I turned and ran on to the train, trying to hide. But how can you hide from you life? You can't run away from it forever. I've been trying.
