A/N: For now, I think I'm going to stay in the same universe as Returning Home (I screwed up the timing on that, by the way. I meant a year, not a few months), and do some loosely connected one-shots. Allons-y!


Aleksander von Hohenberg wasn't sure how he should be classified. He had seen far more in his (almost) eighteen years than many men had in their entire lives. At (nearly) sixteen, his parents were brutally murdered and he became an outcast. Within a year, he had fought battles, saved lives, fallen in love, been extremely confused about his sexual orientation, killed a man, abdicated a throne, and flown in a giant whale. He had grown up, but not everyone understood that. So many people glanced at him and assumed that he was still a silly teenage boy.

Yes, that was his problem. People looked at the age and not the person. Alek continued his pacing in the Sharp's garden. Despite years of being told that royalty must never show fear, he couldn't hide his nervousness. The only thing he needed was for Jaspert to take him seriously for five minutes, and he was in the clear.

Taking a deep breath, Alek turned to Jaspert. The family resemblance was evident. Golden hair, turquoise eyes...it made the whole ordeal much more difficult.

"Jaspert, what do you honestly think of me?" Deryn's doppelgänger raised an eyebrow. A moment of silence followed as the question was considered.

"You're a decent lad, I suppose. I can't honestly say I know you very well, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I think you're good for my sister...you keep her grounded, you know?"

"So you like me then?"

"Aye...where are you going with this?" Alek sat down on the wooden bench next to Jaspert. The prince took a deep breath.

"I have a very important question to ask you."

"Your Highness! This is all going so fast!" Jaspert squealed like a girl and broke into a huge grin. Alek coughed politely. "Well I thought it was funny. You did fall in love with a cross-dresser, after all."

"That is true," Alek admitted. "That is the reason we are having this conversation, actually."

"Is it? Is there something that you need to tell me?" Jaspert smirked. He wanted to see the prince squirm...and squirm Alek did. Alek opened his mouth to continue and promptly shut it, only to open it again a few seconds later.

"I..uh...was thinking that perhaps...if you would...permit it...er..." Alek stumbled over his words.

"Permit what, exactly?" The eldest Sharp sibling was relentless.

Alek all but exploded. Standing up from the bench, he faced Jaspert and yelled, "Gottes Wunden! Wir beide wissen, was ich versuche zu sagen. Ich würde wirklich zu schätzen Ihre Mitarbeit! Kann ich bitte fragen Sie Deryn, mich zu heiraten?"

"Aye...that's all well and good, but you seem to forget that I don't even speak a squick of Clanker." Alek took a deep breath to compose himself.

"Jaspert, I love your sister. I have grown as a person since meeting her. She's been there for me through some of the lowest points in my life, and I would do anything for her. A life without Deryn is not a life that I would want to live. If I have your permission in doing so, I intend on asking her to be my her my wife when the opportunity presents itself." Jaspert rose from the bench and extended his hand towards Alek. Alek shook it firmly, finally relaxing again.

"You have my full approval." Jaspert checked his pocket watch. "Seeing as we have some time before my sister comes home, I'm going to take you to the pub. Why? Because there's something that you need to do before you leave for London. You might as well get it over with, and you'll probably need a few pints to make it through." The ex-heir to the throne of the Austro-Hungarian Empire was confused.

"What exactly do I have to do?" The blonde boy put his arm around the monarch's shoulder.

"You see —you poor sod— it's not really my permission that you need to marry Deryn. You need my Ma's approval." The color drained from the prince's face.

"Scheisse."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Mrs. Sharp was in the kitchen when Alek and Jaspert returned home. Jaspert wished the younger boy luck and went up to his room. Alek entered the kitchen and engaged in polite, if not slightly awkward, small talk with Celia while she cooked. Noticing that the pieces meat that Mrs. Sharp was mincing were of unusual shapes and colors, Alek was curious.

"What are you making for dinner, Mrs. Sharp?"

"Sweetie, please call me Celia. I'm making my world-famous haggis. I hope you're hungry!" He tried not to show his apprehension. He had managed to avoid eating haggis for two weeks, and had no plans of eating any now. Perhaps he would fake an upset stomach. "Alek, please make yourself useful and take the stomach out of that bowl for me." She gestured towards a bowl on the other side of the kitchen that contained a floating blob. Wincing, he did as he was told. Avoiding a glance at it, he plunged his hands into the icy water and grasped the organ.

"Celia," he started, carrying the stomach to the counter. "I have a question to ask you."

"Aye?" Mrs. Sharp added each organ to a mixing bowl as she finished cutting it. She started cutting the tongue as Alek resumed speaking.

"As you know, despite the fact that Deryn and I have only known each other a little more than a year, I love her with all my heart." Celia stopped cutting and turned towards the boy. "I would take a bullet for her without a second thought, and you know that I do not take that promise lightly. I doubt that I'll ever meet anyone as beautiful and kind-hearted as your daughter again in my lifetime. I have no idea when we'll be back here again, so I'm taking this opportunity to ask for your blessing. Some day, I wish to have the honor of being wed to your daughter...if she permits it, that is."

Aleksandar Ferdinand Karl Franz Michael Hubert Anton Ignatius Joseph Maria von Hohenberg had only been hugged with such ferocity two other times in his life. The first was by his mother, when he had rolled down the stairs in his childhood hom, and cracked his head open. She was thankful that somehow, he didn't break his neck. The second was from Deryn. Last week, the two went swimming in the river and he took his shirt off before jumping in. Both times, he heard "lieber Gott, danke!" before being attacked. Mrs. Sharp also seemed to be thanking God for a miracle.

Unfortunately for Alek, in her joy, Mrs. Sharp forgot to put down the tongue that was going in the haggis...the tongue that was now pressed against the bottom of his neck. He had to use every ounce of willpower in his body, and every second of his etiquette training to keep himself from vomiting on his future mother-in-law.

"Alek, I was beginning to think that I was never going to have a grandchild from her! If you had three legs, webbed fingers, blue skin, and an eye growing out of your forehead, I'd still let you marry her!" He wondered when she would realize that there was a tongue in her hand.

"Thank you, ma'am. That's the reason my father wished to avoid inbreeding. Don't expect a grandchild anytime soon...though I definitely want children in the future, I don't plan on asking Deryn for her hand until long after she turns seventeen, and it may be years after that until she is ready to settle down." Alek truly meant what he said: he wanted children very badly. If Deryn didn't want kids, he didn't... oh god, the tongue was still there.

"Not to worry, I think Jaspert might be planning on eloping with his lass. Where there is an elopement, there will soon be children. I shall have to pretend to be surprised on both accounts." The more time he spent with Celia, the more he could see that she was Deryn's mother, even if they did tend to butt heads. Eventually she released him from her iron grip.

"I wish you luck in your endeavors, ma'am." Alek winked at the woman as he turned to leave the kitchen.

"Alek, sweetie, dinner will be at 6:00."

"I will be there. Please don't expect me to eat much though. I'm incredibly queasy from this whole ordeal." Mainly from the tongue, but she didn't have to know that.

"You didn't seem that nervous. Are you sure that you're not just trying to get out of eating the haggis?" The older woman joked.

"I am positive. I talked to Jaspert about Deryn before I talked to you, actually." Mrs. Sharp laughed and expressed her pity. Alek smiled one last time before going to scrub the back of his neck and change his shirt. Sitting on his bed, he chuckled quietly. He was grateful for the practice that the year of lying for Deryn brought. She made a graceful liar out of him.

Alek: 1, Haggis: 0.