AN: Most of this chapter is new and hopefully will address some issues I had the first time around. Enjoy and please review dear readers.
Disclaimer: Not a tad bit of this belongs to me … well except for the storyline maybe.
Last time on WoD:
When the light subsided my eyes took a long while to recover and grant me the ability to see again. After a minute or so in which I only succeeded in seeing a few shades and forms but nothing clear, I heard a voice from behind me. A painfully familiar voice.
"Have you been in the Darkness for so long that your eyes have grown unaccustomed to the Light? Or is it just your wish to see the dark side of things before you even consider opening your eyes to the light?"
"Even after all this time. Even now you dare to mock me! This ends now DiZ! Pray to your deities for your existence ends now!" Ansem stood peacefully right in front of me, he didn't wear the clothes from his time as DiZ, in fact, the clothes he wore were not something I was familiar with. Instinctively I knew that these were his normal clothes before he ever became DiZ. A white lab coat that was partially opened, draped over what looked like a dark gray vest, white collared shirt, and a violet ascot, as well as black pants and shoes. He also draped a red sweater or coat of some sort over his shoulders. Ansem's hair was blond and worn long and slicked back. He also sported a short mustache and goatee. His eyes are bright orange. So this was the true face of my Nemesis. Quite … unfitting for such a vile and evil creature.
"Such anger … understandable, but none the less troubling." He calmly stood there and watched the sunset. His hands crossed behind his back and a serene façade upon his face.
A quick check of my surroundings told me that we were standing upon the clock tower in Twilight Town.
"My boy please at least grant me the courtesy to talk before you unleash your justified anger upon this old man. After all, I granted you the courtesy of a few peaceful and happy days at the end, instead of simply putting you into a coma. Please grant me this wish young man."
Not once did he change his posture and in the end, it was the peaceful environment and his calm voice that allowed me to keep a somewhat cool head. Once I thought it through I realized he spoke the truth, he had given me some kind of courtesy within those last few days. The least I could do was return the favor. And after all, he had already apologized to me … at least he tried to. He apologized to Sora's face in the hopes of me listening. No need to tell him that I had listened in fact.
"Fine if you want to spend your last few minutes talking nonsense then be my guest."
"Thank you, young man … … … I don't even know where to start. I don't believe a simple apology will ever cover my feelings for you … but at least I should try. I'm truly sorry young man, I could never make up for what I have done to you but I will try as much as I could. So please listen to me."
Within me, feelings were warring each other, but on the outside, I only presented a calm and serene façade. "Fine but first you will answer me a few questions."
"Very well. That seems like an agreeable condition. But please keep in mind that we are on a short time limit here."
I gave a simple nod that I understood him and then launched right into my throng of questions. "Where are we? Why are you here? What are your aim and angle here? And what the hell is even going on … with me – with all this … and why am I even still alive. I need to know!"
Ansem the Wise smiled like an exasperated grandfather teaching an impatient child. With this truly unnerving smile on his face, he started to talk. "Well for half of these questions I would have to launch right into my story and we wouldn't want that, right? We should build up the suspense a bit after all. But be that as it may, I will at least answer what I can."
His words were as hollow as his façade … but for the sake of peace and to finally get some answers I held my blades and kept my mouth shut.
"Well, first of all, you probably won't be surprised to hear that we are still within your heart. This whole experience is called Dive to the Heart. Right now, you are at the third test, this stage is called Deep Dive and completes the big three. Those are the already mentioned Deep Dive, the first stage was the Path Finder and the third was the Power Crystallization. These are the three stages of the heart most Keybearers explore at least once in their life to define who they are, what they want and how the will accomplish this."
At this point, I couldn't hold my tongue anymore and thus I had to point out the inadequacy of his explanation. Quite smugly I may add. "This isn't the first time for me."
He stopped for a moment and then he gave a near silent and a bit bitter laugh before he continued. "Indeed? Well, it just shows how special you are my boy. But where was I? Oh yes, the Deep Dive. Well, normally you would now be asked questions to determine your personality and help you realize who you truly are. Quite simple that is, once you realize that you can't lie while you are in here. There are no lies in the depths of the heart. But alas I intervened on your behalf so we could meet and you could, hopefully, learn about the hows and whats in the world."
I felt the need to bitterly point something out. "So, you force yourself into my life again. Can't you leave me in peace?!"
Ansem watched me with sad eyes. "I'm truly sorry for what happened to you … and especially for the things I have done to you. But you seem to misunderstand. Without me, you wouldn't even be here. You wouldn't even exist anymore. Technically you shouldn't even exist anymore. But I would never be able to live with that sin upon my soul. Because I took the choice of existing or not away from you and practically forced you into this."
I looked at him, not with anger in my eyes, but with acceptance and understanding. "Despite what many may think I'm not just a hot-headed blond, but still this is the second time someone said I shouldn't even exist and it hurts … even if it is true."
"Once more I'm sorry Roxas. Alas, it is the truth and since I can't lie here it would be pointless to try just so that I don't hurt your feelings … which are quite real this time around and not just the reflection of someone else's feelings."
"Well you could have at least sugarcoated it a bit don't you think? But back on track, I guess. I know what you have done, at least some of it, and while I do not approve of it, I can at least understand your reasoning … and that it might have been necessary at that time … for the greater good."
Ansem the Wise looked down and for a moment his face was half clouded in shadow it gave him a quite menacing look. When he looked up all cheeriness was gone from his face and only the bitter face of truth remained. "My boy … you have not even the slightest idea just what I have truly done to you, your important people and the worlds in general. All in the name of the greater good! I couldn't be more ashamed of myself even if I tried. It was all in naught and maybe everyone would have been better off if I hadn't even existed."
For a moment, he looked so hurt and defenseless that I truly wished that I could wash away the blame he put upon himself, but somewhere deep down I knew he spoke the truth. At least the truth he perceived. And nothing I could say would change his perception of reality.
After a few moments, Ansem seemingly gathered himself and his composure. Back was the teacher. "However you are not here to hear about the mistakes of an old man or his self-hatred. You are here so that you may understand the past, present, and future and most importantly your place in it. If I manage to embark some of my knowledge to you alongside that it would be an added bonus."
Without showing any expression on my face, I simply nodded at him to show him to go on and that he held my rapt attention.
"Thanks. Now listen there are a lot of things I need to tell you and I don't have much time left. First and foremost I want to congratulate you on finally becoming your own person. That's quite the-"
"How?" the simple question was softly spoken but it was enough to bring Ansem to a complete stop. With eyes that showed nothing but sympathy, he began to speak again. And once more his voice relayed true compassion and … understanding.
"My boy I'm truly sorry for the hard life you had to live thus far and I hate myself for the role I played in it. But best let's start at the beginning. You see the first thing strange about you happened right when you were created. When Sora became a Heartless his heart was taken by the darkness and his mind and willpower went with it … that hasn't ever happened thus far. Normally the mind and will stay with the body, sometimes creating a Nobody that's still able to act because it possesses a mind and will. While the heart is granted an own will through the darkness. Your case was different from the very beginning."
While I still waged a war with my emotions, I couldn't deny that I was intrigued by what Ansem had to tell I always wondered why I was different than most Nobodies. For now, I would listen.
"His body stayed behind … but it had something that never resided in a body that had lost its heart. A fragmented heart. Someone else's heart, besides Kairi's heart I must add, resided within Sora and when he gave up his own heart these heart fragments stayed with the body left behind. With you essentially. Because of these heart fragments or rather heart fragment would be the more accurate term since it was essentially one heart that had been fractured and was growing back to health first within Sora and then within you, you look the way you do and not like Sora which would have been the normal procedure. There was a body, a heart or at least part of it and everything that this being still lacked was a mind and a will. That's where you come into the picture. Your personality … everything that makes you … you, it came out of nowhere. Till today I can't explain where all this came from."
At this point, he waved his hand over … all of me? Did he really think that I was somehow … special and worth something? Before today he never seemed to think that way. That sure was interesting.
"However it happened … it created a marvelous entity. You are truly an interesting being. But then the most strangest thing happened, once again it was something truly unique … and of course being unheard of it had to happen to Sora and those connected to him. For Sora regained his body because of a so-called synchronicity between his heart and that of Kairi. Regaining his body for him meant that you, a Nobody with a Heart Fragment, lost the basis of your existence. Every other Nobody would have faded … You, however, held part of a Heart, had a personality and a mind, which basically means you had a soul and a will to exist that dwarves everything I have ever heard of – thus you could not fade. You became something different. A heart and a soul that lacks a body, such being are called Hollows. You had no body, but the unique thing about a Hollow is that their willpower is so great that it manifests physically and thus creating an artificial body. That body would have held your being together for a long time to come, but it would have failed if your will ever faltered. But it never came to a time when this would have been tested because you were tainted by the darkness … forced upon you by the Organization. I couldn't do anything to stop that. I'm sorry my boy. And then the cruel circumstances forced me to go even further and … I … nearly had to extinguish your existence. I am … so sorry."
With a shrug of my shoulders and a carefree look on my face, I answered him. Strangely enough, my arms were crossed behind my head in Sora's trademark posture. "But I'm still here, so my existence prevailed after all this. Perhaps I really am that awesome."
Ansem smiled because of my little intervention … and strangely enough, it felt good to make him feel better. Shouldn't I do the opposite? Damn, maybe I really am a good person deep down. That will cause problems in the future I just know it.
Must have been a long time since he was able to be this carefree. "Perhaps you are … No, you are this … awesome. However, I'm sorry to ruin your fantasy, but I played my part in this scheme as well. For you see it all happened when you gave Sora your memories and received his in return. Because at that single moment Sora and you held the same memories, mostly the same powers and the same heart and soul. Even your minds were connected in that moment in a way they never were before. Essentially Sora should have become you and you should have become him. Truly one is all and all is one. Normally you would have ceased to exist at that point in time because you would have been Sora … and he would have been you just as much. Two become one. Alas, it was not meant to be."
He looked at me that reminded me strangely of a deep and honest pride. I felt compelled to look away and truly hoped that the heat I was feeling in my cheeks wasn't showing. With a small voice I answered him dismissively, or rather I grumbled to myself. "Must have been a fluke then. No way I'm that lucky. Just look at my track record."
This time he showed a full blown laugh and with a voice that seemed to be as prideful as his look, he continued his monolog. "No fluke my boy, just your personality and your willpower. Your will to be your own person proved to be stronger than the rules of reality once more. Despite everything that was working against you, your willpower pulled through and you retained your personality and thus remained your own person separate from him. This is where I come into the picture young Roxas."
This time there was no mistaking his pride, but in me or his accomplishment, I do not know. "You see this me you are talking to is essentially a program. A program I downloaded and installed deep within your heart while you lived in my artificial Twilight Town. Because at that point in time you had already been strengthened and spoiled by the heart fragment to the point where you finally started to gain your own heart. I believe it was when you fought against Riku because at this moment your will, emotions, and mind were all strained to their very limit and about to give out … which because of the rare existence as a Hollow you were leading would have led to you vanishing into nothingness. However your will to exist pulled through once more and used the only avenue it had left to gather more power to cling to reality … it sent a plea out to Kingdom Hearts itself … and its plea was answered. Kingdom Hearts did what it does for every normal being be it animal or human or something in between – it granted you your own heart. At that point, your heart was still weak and nearly non-existent, but within the week that led to your joining with Sora it grew in power and even after that it was strengthened. Even faster now, since it was nurtured by the two hearts that already rested within Sora at that time. And when the moment came for you two to become one and your will refused to fade it was that heart – your very own heart – that allowed you to separate from Sora and become what you are now."
He smiled at his own accomplishment at that point and then continued. "The program within your heart was built upon the possibility that something like that could possibly happen. I had encountered that possibility when I watched you act within the artificial Twilight Town. Thankfully my theory was proven correct. The program transported your heart and soul into a synthetic body I had created beforehand based upon the Hollow body you had when you were within my world. That body has exactly the same basic conditions as your former body … however, you will probably have to train it up a bit to be on par with your former level."
I was somewhere between simply amazed and completely bewildered. "I … I uh don't even know what to say. Perhaps thank you for the second chance is a good start, but I don't think that covers it all. I don't even want to know, how you did all this, but know this that's a good start as an apology. Just one question. Where is that body?"
Ansem the Wise smiled in response to my words. The same grandfatherly smile he had given me before. "No, it isn't relevant compared to what I have done to you, but thanks for your kind words … makes it a bit easier. Well for your question, the body is in one of the Memory Pods in the old mansion in Twilight Town … the real one of course. And if you want to know how to get out of here and into your new body, well you could either end the Dive to the Heart at this point by creating an exit with the Keyblade … or you could try to go on to the last two levels. Mirror Affray and Core Vigour are still waiting for you. Challenging those two could help you understand yourself and give you a whole new power that rests deep oh so very deep within you. However, I can't tell you what power awaits you. This is something you will have to learn yourself it is something that can only be acquired not given."
After all that I heard in the last – what thirty minutes? – I was literally and truly stunned into silence. I think I would need a few days to mull this all over. "Anything else you want to shove into my overused brain?" I asked this only jokingly, but Ansem looked truly regretful when he answered.
"Oh my dear boy, you now know about one percent of what I would have wanted to tell you, however as I told you we were on a tight schedule and now it seems our time together is coming to the end." As if on cue his body started to glow at his legs nd slowly light particles started floating away from the glowing parts.
With a shock, I registered that I still had a lot of open questions I needed answered … and I needed them answered now. I reached out with my left hand and grabbed the sleeve of his lab coat and looked at him with confused but still determined eyes. "No! You can't go now! I still have so many questions and this may be my only chance to ask them. You just can't go!"
He looked at me with a surprised face, but quickly it settled into an upset and sad face. "I told you from the beginning that we are on a time limit my dear boy. But for as long as I'm still here you may ask away. After that, it will be time for me to leave the stage. From then on it is solely your story … and in that, I will have no part anymore."
His face only projected acceptance at this point. He truly was okay with simply vanishing. Fine if that's how it is I won't waste my chance to learn everything I can. "Well first and foremost, you said that beings like me wee called Hollows. Does that mean there are more out there who are in such a poor state of being?"
If Ansem was surprised by my choice of a first question he at least didn't show it and then he simply launched into another explanation. "Perhaps there are. As of now, the three Hollows I met throughout my time are all gone. Except for those three, I had only ever heard stories of things you could by some stretch call Hollows. However, most of the beings described in those stories were most likely either spirits or simple ghosts. Not sure if any of them fit the description of a Hollow. Back on track. The three Hollows I knew were, of course, you, then there was Naminé for at some point she too was a Hollow and the last was Ansem the Seeker of Darkness."
"Wait, wait, wait – stop right there. I can understand me being a Hollow from the description you gave of them … hell even Naminé being a Hollow makes sense, but the Not-Ansem? That's ridiculous! You must have gotten old. Ansem was clearly a Heartless?"
"Yes, I can see you being confused. You see Ansem the Seeker of Darkness WAS indeed a Heartless … however, he didn't have the body of a Heartless. No, in fact, his body much more resembled the body he had before he became a Heartless. Thus one has to conclude that this was a body he made up himself … by his willpower perhaps? Because he was so unlike any other Heartless out there. He remembered his past and he kept his own will instead of being given one by the powers of darkness. Him being a Hollow created ou of a Heartless by an outside force, perhaps his Nobody half would explain all those oddities."
Instead of mulling all of this over I filed it away to think through later. "Okay, I will think this through later. For now the next question or rather a request this time. Please tell me everything about Naminé's existence you can."
Once more he didn't look surprised, rather he seemed to be bubbling with mirth and … filled with happy memories. "Naminé is truly the most interesting person I have ever met. Whereas you at least started out as a Nobody and only soon after became a Hollow, she was already born that way. The moment Kairi's heart was split from her body, Naminé's existence slowly came into being. Why or how I can not tell you, for I do not know. She had some traits of Kairi and like you, she held a few Heart Fragments, through hers originally belonged to Kairi which is also the reason Kairi's heart needed to stay with Sora for so long – to heal. And just the same as you, she quickly developed her own personality, will and thus soul comparable to Kairi's, but still different where it truly counted. Two sides of one coin, just like you and Sora. At first, her body was not solid, which makes her different than you. If I had to take an educated guess I would say that the reason for that phenomenon was her unfocused will. She had no goal in a life, you see. Only when she was found by the Organization and was given a purpose did she become a true Hollow, before that you could merely call her a semi-transparent spirit. At the very end, shortly before she reunited with Kairi, she had no purpose as well and thus returned to that semi-existing state of being. Becoming whole is probably what saved her from truly vanishing."
Ansem looked at me for quite a while with truly intense eyes … like he was searching for something in me. Well, obviously he had found what he was looking for, for he spoke one more sentence … through it seemed to be more of an afterthought. "And just so you know she learns this as well just at this moment … and in just the same way you do."
It took my overstressed brain exactly seventeen seconds to unravel the true content of that sentence. "You mean she will come back again, too!?"
Ansem chuckled at my outburst. With a start, I realized that by now more than half of his body had vanished into light. "Ultimately the decision of coming back or not lies with her, same as for you. However, I made the same preparations for her, that I had made for you. So yes, there is a high possibility that Naminé will return to the worlds, knowing her I truly believe that she will do it."
For just a second hugging Ansem in thanks seemed like a good idea, till I realized that there was probably not enough left of him to do just that. So instead I settled for a fully sincere and heartfelt "Thanks."
"It is my pleasure … and my duty, for all that I have done to the both of you. See it as my last try at repenting for my numerous sins. Now I believe you will want to go back out to the worlds. Not a bright idea to keep your lady waiting, right?"
I blushed quite hard, but alas I didn't find it in me to deny that claim, because somewhere deep within me a thought like that may have existed too. "Yeah, I guess I will be gong … well if you tell me how to get back that is. Before that, however, you said there were more stages to that Divo to the Heart, right? Will I ever be able to come back here to complete this, because I really don't like to leave things unfinished."
For the last time, the artificial Ansem looked at me with pride and departed the last of his wisdom to me. "You will find your way here and to the power that rests so deep within you … when the time is right it will happen. As for how to get out of here, well that's an easy one. You started the Dive by falling, so naturally, it ends with falling too. Only this time it's up to you if you want to jump."
This time my brain worked better, close to the level I was accustomed to. Within a second I had understood what he meant. Without another word, I stepped up onto the ledge I had sat on for hundreds of times and looked into the sunset once more. "Thank you … for all of this. I may not be able to forget … but I will learn to forgive. Please know, that I will forgive you in time. See you around I guess." I remembered the words a good friend had told me once upon a time and smiled while my left foot left the ledge and dangled above the endless nothingness. "See you … in the next life." And with that, I plunged down.
I didn't even hear if Ansem answered anything and not because of the fall. The moment I completely stepped off the clock tower I was plunged into true nothingness. The sunset, the clock tower … simply everything vanished and all that was left were shades of black, white and gray.
I fell for what felt like forever but at one point something shifted. If I had to describe the feeling the best way would be to say that I felt like I was veering off course. For a few traumatizing moments I couldn't even tell where this feeling was coming from. Funny how something you never truly noticed before can frighten you. The feeling was coming from my heart. My heart was telling me that in this endless sea of black, white and gray I was going the wrong way.
I was downright frightened for I had no way to rearrange my course. But I have come so far until now. I will not fail now! Concentrating deeply I tried to follow the feeling my heart my giving me until finally, with what felt like gargantuan effort my heart aligned my course and brought me back onto the road to my destiny.
The rest of the trip I puzzled over why my heart even knew where I had to go. Where did that feeling come from? What was that goal my heart was leading me to? And when the answer came to me I just had to say it out loud. "Seems like our hearts are already connected, huh … Naminé."
Just after I had spoken those words something changed. The black and gray faded away until only the white remained and at the same time I changed to. If I had to describe the feeling I would say it felt like being put into some clothes that were a bit tighter than what you were used to. Not uncomfortably so … but still unsettling. Having a true body for the first time in ever truly was an otherworldly experience. But it was nothing I couldn't get used to. It also made me feel safe and … centered. Harder to move, but also calming like nothing else I had ever felt before. Like floating in the water.
When the light became too blinding I had to close my eyes, but even through my closed eyelids the bright light still stung a bit, through only a tiny bit. When I noticed the stinging sensation going away I tried to open my eyes and nearly panicked again because I couldn't. Took me only a second that it was harder and took a tiny amount of concentration and strength to open my eyelids. Perhaps because now they belonged to a real body and not an imaginary one.
When I finally opened my eyes for the first time in the real world in what had to be forever, the color white still remained. Then I realized I was in surrounding I already knew. I was Inside one of the memory pods. Perhaps even the same one Sora had slept in. I also noticed that my feet weren't touching the ground, but after all this falling floating didn't seem so bad anymore. At least I stayed in place.
While I was still studying my new body and hadn't even begun to evaluate my surroundings, I suddenly felt a squeeze upon my right hand. Looking down upon said hand, I saw another hand as clasped in mine. Looking up the delicate and gentle hand, I found it was connected to a nice looking arm, thin but not without muscle. The arm was connected to the body of a nice looking young woman and finally upon the body sat the most beautiful head I have ever seen. Nice blond and straight hair framed an angelic and naturally breathtakingly elegant face. Naminé.
"You are right our hearts are connected." She said with tears in her freshly opened blue eyes.
Kingdom Hearts III
The Way of Dusk
AN: Well that's it, dear readers. As I said, in the beginning, most of this chapter was completely new and thus took a hell of a lot longer to write. At least much longer than the time I needed to rewrite the last chapter.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope all my explanations were sound and understandable. If not feel free to PM me or leave a review and ask me out to your heart's content. I'm glad to clear up any confusion I may have caused.
Once more I want to remind you that English is not my native language and thus there are bound to be some mistakes either in spelling or grammar or wording a certain saying or something along those lines. Maybe even some of all three. If you find any I beg you to point them out to me. One can only learn by making mistakes, but for that said mistakes have to be pointed out.
Well now I'm out (it's past midnight already where I am) so I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that you will stay tuned for the next chapter which will hopefully be out before you know it. Please leave a review if you liked it because I practically live off this stuff. Good night then.
