Title: Bend and Not Break
Author: DockRock06
Rating: M
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Season 12's 'If not now'
Content Warning: Adult themes i.e. Rape, but not graphic, it is just mentioned as you will probably have guessed….I mean did you not read the last story?
Summery: What if Ray wasn't really as fine as he is letting on? Will his friends be able to help him in time?
Sorry for not updating in ages, but I had tests to do and also no internet along with writers block! So without anymore hesitation here it is, chapter two:
CHAPTER TWO: I'M FINE?
I am fairly agile; I can bend and not break
Or I can break and take it with a smile
I am so resilient, I recover quickly,
I'll convince you soon that I am fine
'Bend and Not Break' Dashboard Confessional
'Ray what happened?'
Neela sat up behind Ray and placed her hand on his shoulder, feeling him tense up under her hand. She knew that things were going to be hard over the next few weeks and that Ray would be jumpy around her, but what happened next shocked her. Ray pulled away from her hand and rushed over to the door, mumbling something that Neela couldn't quite hear.
When Ray opened the door to the bedroom he quickly walked to the bathroom, careful not to wake Brett and locked the door. Neela had replaced the broken one a few days ago and at the moment Ray was grateful because he just wanted to be alone and try to figure out why he was having nightmares like that. Did he really think that his friends wouldn't help him?
After getting over her initial shock of Ray literally running away from her Neela got off the bed, grabbing a blanket to wrap around herself as she noticed that it was rather cold, even for a Chicago winter night. Walking into the living room she could see that Brett was sound asleep and also that the light on the bathroom was on, and so she now knew were Ray had gone. Walking quietly over to the door Neela lightly rapped the door, praying and hoping that Ray would let her in; she didn't want him to have to go through this alone.
After standing outside the door for a little less than five minutes Neela heard the click of the lock turning in the door and slowly pushed the door open. Edging her way around the door she looked down at Ray and felt her heart clench at the sight of his sad eyes, red from whatever it was that had upset him, as he sat on the cold bathroom floor tiles with his knees pulled up and his arms wrapped around his shins. Forgetting about his earlier reaction to her Neela bent down ad wrapped her arms and the blanket around Ray, and noticed how cold he was.
After positioning herself better on the floor, her back against the wall and Rays head resting on her chest with her arm wrapped around his shoulders Neela said in a low voice, making sure that Brett couldn't hear,
'Is this about your father?' Neela knew that it most likely was, but she didn't want to assume anything, if it wasn't then she was afraid that she would make him just start thinking about things all over again.
Neela felt Ray nod his head and she squeezed his shoulder in a comforting way before she ran her fingers lightly through his hair.
'It's stupid…I don't know why I did that…I'm sorry' Ray said to Neela in such a quiet voice that unless she had been waiting for him to respond in some way, she was sure that she wouldn't have heard him.
'What do you mean you're sorry because it's stupid, what your father did'
'Don't!' Neela was cut off by Ray and she watched as he squeezed his eyes shut, obviously fighting back another wave of emotion, and she watched as the muscle in his jaw tensed.
'Ray I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you but you have to talk about it sometime, keeping it all bottled up isn't going to help'
Neela watched as a tear slid unchecked down Rays cheeked and pulled him into her embrace as he buried his face in her shoulder. They sat like that for the next ten minutes, Ray holding onto Neela as if she was his lifeline and Neela holding onto Ray as the sobs wracked his body.
Quietly Ray said into Neela's shoulder, just loud enough for her to hear,
'Please don't leave'
'Why would I leave Ray, you know that I love you and I'm going to help you through this, we all are. Me, Abby, Luka and Kerry. Why did you think that we wouldn't?'
Ray pulled back from Neela's embrace enough so that he could look her in the eye, but was close enough that Neela still had her arms wrapped around him.
'This is gonna sound really dumb…but I had this dream and my Dad came back and you told me that you couldn't help me anymore and you all just stood there…and I guess I thought that you might feel that way'
Neela watched as Ray looked down and she couldn't stop the pang of worry that settled in her stomach. Why does Ray think that someone will try and hurt him again?
Leaning over and placing a soft kiss on Rays lips, Neela caressed his cheek with her hand as she said,
'He can't hurt you anymore Ray, he's gone now. And you have all of your friends here to help you; we wouldn't let anything happen to you'
Giving Neela a small smile Ray said to her in what he thought was his most convincing voice,
'Yeah…it was just a bad dream and I overreacted'
Pushing herself off the floor Neela reached her hand down to Ray and helped to pull him off the floor, and taking his hand in hers she quietly walked back to the bedroom so that they could both get the much deserved sleep that they needed.
Lying down on the bed Neela pulled Ray over to her so that his head was back in its original position before he had woke up on her chest, only this time Neela wrapped her arms around Ray and pulled the blanket up around them both.
The next morning Neela woke up and looked at her clock to see that her clock was flashing 10:30, and gently slipping from under Ray, Neela made her way into the living room to find that Brett was awake, which surprised her because every other time that he had stayed in the apartment he hadn't got up until after lunch.
'Good morning Brett' Neela said as she made her way past the couch and into the kitchen to begin to make breakfast, neither her or Ray had eaten yesterday and she was famished.
'Mornin' Doctor Neela' Brett got up off the couch and made his way into the small kitchen where he leaned against the counter with his arms crossed.
'So did you sleep well last night, I know that the couch isn't that comfortable…' Neela said as she busied herself making tea and toast for herself, Ray and Brett.
'Yeah doctor Neela, but not so sure about you two…I seen Ray get up last night and I also seen the fact that he wouldn't open the door…what's up because he's my friend too and I've known him since we were kids so I wish someone would tell me what the hell is wrong with him'
Neela didn't know what to say, she had never heard Brett talk about anyone he cared about like that before, and she knew that he thought of Ray as a brother…but she still couldn't betray Rays trust by telling him things that she shouldn't and didn't have the right to.
'What, it was nothing he just had a long day and was more than a bit stressed. You understand.' Neela kept her back to Brett the whole time, making sure that he couldn't see her face incase it gave away her lie.
'Well I just hope that he's alright…need someone to go drinking with' Brett added with a laugh to try and lighten the mood, but the truth was he was concerned for his friend. Although he had only been back less than a day and hadn't really talked to Ray other than the idle small talk on the EL on the way back to the apartment, Brett knew that something was defiantly up and he was going to find out what it was.
Ray was like a brother to Brett, and Brett to Ray, so Brett wanted to make sure that he could help his 'brother' in any way which he could, even if that just meant listening to him when he was on a drunken rant.
'Hey, I was thinking if you don't mind can me and Ray go out tonight, you know to catch up like old times?' Brett gave Neela his best innocent face and hoped that she would comply, he knew that this was a great way to get Ray to open up, Brett recalled many drunken nights when both of them had spilled secrets to each other after one too many glasses of Jack Daniels and he was planning on at least trying to get Ray to do the same tonight.
'Well, he got out of hospital a little early and is still on pain medication so I don't know if a night of drinking, which I know is what you mean when you say 'catching up' is, is the best thing right now. But maybe before you go'
Brett nodded and sat down at the table, he was going to have to think of another way of getting Ray to talk to him, but for now all he wanted to think about was the rumbling in his stomach.
After setting a plate down in front of Brett Neela walked over to the bedroom door and quietly pushed it open. Allowing her eyes to adjust to the dim lights in the room Neela walked over and sat on the bed beside Ray, and gently placed her hand on his arm. After only a few non verbal mumbles Ray pulled the blanket tighter around him, obviously not wanting to wake up yet.
Not wanting to wake up her boyfriend when he obviously didn't want to and also hadn't slept that well the night before Neela ran her hand through Ray's hair before she got off the bed and left the room quietly shutting the door behind her.
As Neela made her way to the kitchen to join Brett and also have her own breakfast one thought ran through her head,
I am going to help him through this.
Well there it is chapter two of, 'Bend and Not Break'. I hope that you all liked it and please review!
