"Don't say goodbye
Like you're burying him
'Cause the world is round
And he might return"
-Regina Spektor, 'Just Like the Movies'
River had been doing better. She still felt the occasional glimpse of a thought echo of an emotion, but she'd learned to shut out the voices. But now, it was just too much. Zoe's grief was so powerful, so strong, it forced itself into her mind and met her own grief, so that she was utterly consumed by it. She had almost forgotten Wash, but now he was all he could think of. Memories ran through her head like movies, and she forgot where she was and who she was.
The first memory was Zoe's, but River had seen it before, many, many times.
There had been a pause. After a second, they all gave a sigh of relief. Zoe almost laughed, despite the fact that there was nothing even remotely funny about their position. It happened so quickly. Wash began reciting some poetry, and she was beginning to wonder where he had heard it and whether he knew what it meant, and then the windshield shattered, and so did her life. Her mind stopped. There was no way. Wash was not, could not be dead. But he wasn't moving. She screamed. Whether or not the sound actually escaped her, she didn't know. But she screamed, nevertheless.
"Are you okay?" Simon asked.
River was in her room, curled up in a ball on her bed, whimpering softly to herself. She grabbed Simon's wrist. "Don't say goodbye like you're burying him," she said.
"What?"
"The world is round. He might return." River had a feeling he had heard that somewhere, or perhaps someone else had.
Simon opened his bag.
"No needles!" she said, and ran from the room. While she did, she couldn't help but remember another time she'd fled from Simon and his medicine. The memory swam in front of her eyes as she searched for a place to hide.
River had flown up the stairs, through the hallway. She nearly knocked over a chair when she reached the dining room. Wash was already there, eating leftovers from the lunch that the rest of the crew had finished a while ago.
"What-?" he asked, but River could hear Simon coming, so she darted under the table and didn't answer.
"Have you seen River?" Simon asked, panting slightly.
"Yeah, she ran through here a little while ago. She seemed upset."
Simon didn't answer, just ran off in pursuit.
After a bit, Wash said, "You can come out now. He's gone." River stood up. "So, what happened?"
River didn't reply.
"Hmm…" Wash said, then got up and walked into the kitchen. He rummaged through the cabinets, eventually removing a small, unmarked, completely unremarkable tin and two mugs. He filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove. "Whatever it is," he said, "You look like you could use some hot chocolate. Really, there's nothing that can't be solved by a good cup of cocoa." He put some innocuous brown powder in the mugs, added the hot water, and gave one of them to River. She sipped it cautiously, and found it sweet and tasty.
"It's better with cream," Wash sighed, "But I can't afford it. The cocoa is expensive enough without it."
"It's good. Very... hot, and chocolatey."
"Well-said, genius," Wash said, raising his mug in a toast. River giggled, and he smiled.
"Don't go telling anyone about my cocoa stash, now," he said, "And if you ever need help, or company, don't be afraid to come and see me."
Back in the present, River couldn't see Wash, but she could definitely use a good cup of cocoa.
