In the Case of Alicia
(C) tri-Ace and Square Enix
-II. Villnore-
1.) In the case of Alicia and Silmeria, part II
(Watch your back.)
What did you mean, Silmeria? Alicia wondered, a hand to her chest as she followed the group into the city of Villnore. A part of her noticed how busy the city was compared to Coriander's idyllic atmosphere, but more often than not her attention was on her newest allies.
Did you mean them? But...they don't seem so bad...
It had taken the group three days to travel from Coriander to Villnore, and in that time Alicia had not seen why Silmeria had voiced such an ominous warning. Of course Silmeria knew so much more than she did, but the valkyrie hadn't even seen fit to tell Alicia anything more after those words at the mountain ruins. Inside Alicia's mind there was a queer emptiness, as if Silmeria had simply...left.Alicia had never felt so lonely before.
She would have kept walking if it weren't for the large arm that appeared out of nowhere to bar her path. With a gasp, she stopped and looked up, only to find that everyone else had stopped and were all giving her odd, expectant looks. Her face burned with embarrassment as she said, "I-I'm sorry, I was thinking about something else. What is it?"
All she could see were the shades of annoyance each of the men displayed, from Rufus' aggravated-sounding sigh as he shifted from one leg to another to the deliberate way Lezard pushed up his glasses. Dylan only closed his eyes, lines marring his brow, while Arngrim, who she did not know very well, arched an eyebrow on his already imposing face.
She was very good at seeing disapproval when it was aimed at her.
A soft pat on her shoulder startled her from her darkening thoughts. It was Leone, who smiled at her in a reassuring manner. "You must be tired. Why don't you go with Rufus to the inn and get some rest?"
"Oh, um..." Alicia snuck a quick glance at Rufus, who was still shifting from foot to foot and generally looking more impatient than anything else. Obviously he wouldn't want to have to deal with her, and she wasn't all that tired to begin with. "No, it's fine," she answered, her words rushing out of her like a fast-flowing stream. "I'll just take a walk. I've never visited Villnore before."
"Oh," Leone said, her tone light and friendly like usual. "Well, if you need any of us, Rufus will be getting our rooms at the inn, Dylan and Lezard will be at the armory, and Arngrim and I will be..." She glanced at her partner, then back at Alicia. "At the tavern, gathering information."
Arngrim grunted. "Are we gonna stand around here all night?"
"Perhaps it would be best if you came with us," Dylan said, pointedly ignoring the other man in favor of staring down at Alicia. She began to feel nervous; why was Dylan looking down at her so intensely? The hands on her shoulders did not make her feel any better as Leone stood behind her.
"I'm sure Alicia is old enough to take care of herself," the older woman said, but to Alicia's ears there was a hint of something sharp behind the words. If anything, Alicia only felt more embarrassed that such a kind woman like Leone felt the need to protect her, and she shrank into herself even as Leone's hands tightened their hold on her shoulders. Dylan only stared down at the both of them, as if he were willing Alicia to say differently.
Lezard coughed behind his hand. "Of course you are right. After all, we have gotten this far thanks to, in part, her skills. More to the point, it is already evening. Shall we use the available time to prepare for tomorrow's departure?"
Dylan stared at Alicia for a moment longer before he inclined his head, then abruptly stalked off deeper into the city. With an apologetic look, Lezard followed. It was only then when Leone let go of Alicia and it was only then when Alicia felt that it was safe to breathe.
"Hmm, okay, I guess I'll go get the rooms," Rufus said, though Alicia didn't think he was talking to anyone in particular as he strolled away. Leone smiled at her.
"Remember where we are if you need anything," the kind mercenary repeated before turning to Arngrim. "Let's go."
Alicia soon found herself alone at the entrance of a city not that much smaller than the capital city of Dipan. Taking a look around, she took a few steps forward, then realized just how alone she was. What should I do? she asked herself as she began to meander, her steps unsure. Maybe I can talk to Silmeria now that everyone else is gone? Silmeria? Silmeria, can you hear me?
There was nothing except a haunting silence.Silmeria?
(Watch your back) she remembered Silmeria warning her just before the silence, and Alicia held her hands tightly in front of her as she tried, once again, to understand the importance of the valkyrie's words. Did she mean Leone and Arngrim? Yes, they were new and she didn't know them very well, but she could say the same about Rufus and Lezard. Even Dylan, who was one of Silmeria's einherjar and therefore someone Alicia, by proxy, knew almost as well as herself, was not someone Alicia could say she knew in a friendly manner.
In contrast, Leone was very friendly. And although Arngrim was just as large as Dylan--and the menacing scar along the side of his face made him even scarier--Alicia was not as intimidated by the large mercenary as she was of, say, Rufus and his irreverent comments.Maybe...maybe I can find out for myself if they're really to be trusted, Alicia thought. If Silmeria knew what was going on, she would have told me, right? It's probably just because they're new allies. And, at the very least, I should try to get to know them.
Right?2.) In the case of Alicia, Leone and Arngrim
The sun was setting as Alicia timidly approached the tavern, and even at such an early hour she could hear raucous cheers just behind the heavy wooden door. Uncertain, as well as a bit scared as to what she would find on the other side of the door, she hovered around the entrance, looking around on occasion as if someone would recognize her and yell at her for unbecoming behavior for a princess or something.Dylan probably wouldn't like it, she thought. Even if I'm not much of a princess. I don't even know half the history he does...
"Hey, girl, are you coming in or what?"She gasped and looked up with wide eyes. There were two men staring at her with impatience, one of them holding the door open. Light and noise spilled out of the tavern, the sight and sound beckoning her inside. Leone and Arngrim are inside, she told herself, and she nodded at the men in gratitude before hurrying inside.
It was a different world inside the tavern, with more bustle than even Solde and Dipan's pubs. Here, groups of men took over the tables and the bar, everyone all but tumbling into each other's personal space. Waitresses pirouetted about in long skirts, their bountiful chests heaving as they raised their hands towards the bar and called out complicated orders. It was a place full of life, so different from the keep where she had been placed at her father's behest, the ruins and forests full of embittered spirits. It was unrestrained and free and so much more.It was the opposite of everything in her life, except for the battles she had engaged in, and those scared her. She wanted to run away, back outside where it was dark and quiet and nothing like this place.
But why? So she could be alone again, alone like she had never been since Silmeria's voice first filled her mind and soul like stars sparkling in the night sky?
Alicia clasped her hands, nervously looking around until she found Leone and Arngrim sharing a table closest to the bar, to the right of the entrance. Neither of them had seen her yet, and she took a step back while entertaining the idea to leave, leave now, leave as quickly as possible. What made her think that she could just stroll up and interrupt them, all just to figure out what Silmeria meant? What if they were dangerous? Silmeria only told her to be careful, not to get involved and take unnecessary risks!
But... She looked down, trying to breathe, trying to be reasonable and calm and like Silmeria. But I've gotten this far. I can't...I can't be strong if I keep running away.
Before she knew it, she was already walking up to their table. Arngrim, who was facing her direction more than Leone, noticed her first and stared at her in what she thought was more confusion than anything else. Leone only turned to see what had caught Arngrim's attention, Alicia guessed, and the surprise on the pretty mercenary's face quickly transformed into a welcoming smile.As her heart pounded, as her breathing became shallower, Alicia clasped her hands to her chest and tried to smile. "Hello...do you mind if I sit here?"
If anything, Leone's smile only grew. "Of course." Grateful, Alicia pulled out a seat close to Leone, though even the amusement on Arngrim's face didn't intimidate Alicia at the moment--even if his face was still a bit scary. "You know, I'm surprised to see you here," Leone said, immediately drawing Alicia's attention. "Is everything all right?"
"O-oh, yes. I just...I just wanted to talk to you, since we're all traveling together now," Alicia replied, calmer than she had ever been since she had first entered the tavern. "If you don't mind, of course," she added hastily. She didn't want to seem as if she were imposing her company on them, after all!
"Huh." Arngrim leaned back in his chair, muscular arms stretched out against the wall. It amazed Alicia that there was someone in the world who was just as massive as Dylan was! "Your friends still don't trust us?"
Before Alicia could stutter out a denial, Leone turned to Arngrim. "Arngrim! Does she really look like the type? If anything, she looks almost too trusting." There was an apologetic smile on Leone's face when she turned back to Alicia. "You must excuse him. As mercenaries, we don't live lives conducive to making lots of friends."
But you're so nice, and you're a mercenary too, Alicia wanted to say but couldn't, as unsettled by Arngrim's accusation as she was. It was true, though; Leone had such a beautiful, kind smile, and she was a fearsome warrior on the battlefield. Alicia couldn't compare, and even Silmeria was very stern.
She kind of wished she could be like Leone.A waitress appeared, looking a bit harried as she swept long, golden ringlets over her bare shoulders. "What do y'all want?" she asked in a melodic Villnore accent.
"A beer," Arngrim immediately responded.
"Make that two," said Leone, and now Alicia could feel all eyes on her. She bit her lower lip, then shrugged as nonchalantly as she could manage.
"Um, make that three..."
"All right," the waitress said with a nod before she left their table. Alicia, who was smiling at her newfound ability to order alcohol, felt her spirits fall as Arngrim and Leone stared at her in varying shades of surprise.
Leone reached out and lightly touched her arm. "Are you sure? You shouldn't force yourself."
"Hey, no letting her go back on it." Arngrim grinned. "After all, she's old enough to take care of herself."
Despite how strange she felt at the moment, Alicia had to suppress her laughter when Leone shot her partner a dirty look. "If you find it so funny, I hope you'll be paying as well as explaining everything to her friends when they find out what happened!"
"It's okay, really," Alicia murmured. "I want to, so the others will just have to accept that." Then again, she was sure the only one who would have a problem would be Dylan; Rufus would probably find it hilarious and Lezard didn't seem like the type to care, especially about her.
Compared to that, Arngrim's smile and Leone's concern was...nice. Very nice.
"So, um, tell me," she started, anxious to change the subject. "You're gathering information, right? How do you do that?"
"Just by listening," Arngrim said, waving a hand around the room. "People with jobs to do come to the tavern. Depending on the city, a mercenary could pick and choose what he wants. And if there's no good jobs..." He shrugged. "There's other kinds of work."
Alicia dimly remembered something he'd said back at the ruins, about having to be a pirate? Listening to his matter-of-fact explanation, she felt badly for the way Dylan had treated them during their first meeting. "Oh, I see..." she said, miserable. "I'm sorry."
Any amusement Arngrim had was completely absent from his stone-like features. "Gotta eat somehow," he said, his tone gruff. Alicia only felt worse--did she offend him?
Next to her, Leone sighed. "Anyway, the big news around here is that monsters have taken over the mines to the south. Because of it, the miners are all out of work. It's dangerous work, but more honest than we've had it lately."
"We-we should do it." The words tumbled out of Alicia's mouth before she'd had a chance to think about it, but even afterwards she felt it was the right thing to say. "The miners and their families...they must all be suffering."
"Aren't you looking for your orb-thing?" Arngrim pointed out, but since he didn't look annoyed at her she felt that he only meant it as an observation. If Silmeria was paying attention to her words, Alicia was sure they would be enough to coax the valkyrie into objecting, but it was still silent inside her mind.
It really was her mind, wasn't it? Because she could say these things and make these decisions...
How strange.
"Yes, but I don't see why not..." Her voice faded as their waitress returned with three mugs filled with a dark yellow liquid, foam spilling over the rims. The waitress placed the mugs on the table and left without a word. Alicia stared at the glass nearest to her. It looked huge! Was she...supposed to drink all of it?Since Arngrim's paying for it, I should... With this thought wriggling in her mind, Alicia hesitantly reached for her mug's handle and pulled it to her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Arngrim quaffing it down as if it was water in the desert, while Leone drank hers with more restraint. Oh...I think I can do this... Bringing the mug up to her lips, the foam tickled the tip of her nose before she let the liquid pour into her mouth. It was bitter and strange as it washed down over her tongue, and she decided to drink it as fast as possible since the taste seemed so much more unpleasant when she let the beer linger in her mouth.
Maybe that's why Arngrim drank his so fast, Alicia thought between swallowing mouthfuls of the stuff. Maybe, because this tastes weird.
When she lowered her mug onto the table, there was only a bit of the alcohol left. Just seeing that trickle of liquid left made her feel nauseous.Arngrim whistled; she wasn't sure, but did he actually look a bit impressed with her? "Damn."
"Are you all right?" Leone asked, for once not smiling as she looked into Alicia's eyes. "For someone as small as you, you shouldn't drink it so fast."Alicia wasn't sure, but she felt like agreeing. She felt disoriented, like there was a haze at the corners of her vision and it was pulling inward. The cheers of the other patrons in the tavern were like insistent buzzing drilling into her brain. But, because she didn't want Leone to worry too much about her, she tried to smile. "I'm fine, really. I just...maybe I should've drank it slower, like you said..."
"You don't want another one?" Arngrim said as he raised one massive gauntleted arm, probably to wave their waitress over. The thought of another beer made her feel worse.
"It means that she's going to go to the inn and rest," Leone stated, her tone sharp. In a much more gentle and kind tone, she asked Alicia, "Do you want me to go with you?"
Alicia shook her head, then wished she hadn't. "I'll be fine...by myself." Standing up, she smiled in a vague attempt to not make Leone feel bad. "I...I enjoyed talking to you. I'll see you at the inn."
I really like them, she decided as she tried to make her way through the crowded pub with as much dignity as she could muster. But...tomorrow...it'll be embarrassing to see them. Really embarrassing. What was Silmeria afraid of, again?
3.) In the case of Alicia, Dylan, and Lezard
The cold night air swept over Alicia as she left the tavern, and while it did wonders in sobering her up, she was now unsure where to go. It was dark now, but with the system of building weapons out of parts taken from their enemies it could take hours for Dylan and Lezard to finish their job at the armory.But do I really want to see Dylan like this? she wondered as she leaned against the wall of a house and watched a flower girl close her stall. And Lezard will instantly realize what's wrong with me. He may not care for me as Alicia, but that doesn't mean I want his opinion of me to lower even more than it already has...
A low moan escaped her throat as she stood up and rubbed her bleary eyes. I think...the inn is a good idea.
Maybe it was the alcohol, but Alicia had to wonder if she had just heard Silmeria sigh.4.) In the case of Alicia and Rufus, part II
I don't think this was such a good idea.
One step. Next step. Next--!Alicia caught the bannister before she tumbled backwards down the staircase. She stayed, frozen, as she gripped the railing, her heart pounding frightfully in her chest. After a couple of deep breaths to center herself, she stared hard at the next step before purposefully placing her foot upon it. By the time she had reached the top she felt as if she had accomplished something more incredible than fighting the wyvern atop the mountain ruins, except with less muscle ache and more disorientation. With considerable care she rested the side of her head against the wall and let out a shuddering breath, which seemed to expel much of the tension in her body as well.
Why would anyone do this to themselves? she wondered, her body little more than a quivering mass that she couldn't hope to control. I guess Arngrim has an immunity...and at least Leone is there to help him back if he feels like this. Swallowing roughly, she closed her eyes.
Maybe I should've accepted Leone's offer, but I've gotten this far by myself. Silmeria would be able to reach the room, but this is...good enough...
"Hey, are you okay?"
Rufus...? Alicia opened her eyes, the lids feeling as if they were as heavy as...something really heavy. It was hard for her to think straight, but she didn't need to think to watch Rufus' lanky form as he walked down the corridor towards her. That Rufus was approaching meant that he was going to talk, and she didn't think she wanted to know what he was going to say. With a great deal of effort she stood up straight. "Hello..." she tried to say, but it didn't sound clear to her own ears.
He stopped before her, his hands at his hips as he bent down and peered into her eyes. "Hm, you don't look so good," he declared, and she cringed because he was so loud. "What were you...oh-ho, I get it." Straightening up, he crossed his arms and nodded to himself. "I guess even a princess wants to let loose every now and then. Man, you're braver than me, doing that with Silmeria and all."
Silmeria...
The thought struck her like her father's hand. The urge to cry wadded up in her throat and seared her eyes. Maybe Rufus could tell, because the next thing she knew as her tears blinded her was the feel of hands pulling her and the low mumble of a voice. The way she was being pulled was uncomfortable when she could barely control her body, the tone of his voice more confused than anything else, but somehow she found herself half-sitting, half-lying on a bed while she sobbed into a pillow. She cried until her eyes hurt and the throbbing in her head was too much to bear. It didn't seem worth it when she wasn't even sure why she was crying, other than that her father hated her and Silmeria was deliberately being quiet and not saying anything or at least explaining herself and that wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all!It surprised her to realize that she wasn't sad. She had spent most of her life being sad and uncertain, and that wasn't what this felt like at all.
She was frustrated.
Frustrated with herself, because it felt like she couldn't do anything at all. Frustrated with her companions, because they always made her feel so inferior and slow and stupid. Frustrated with the fate she never chose, frustrated with the gods, frustrated with everything.
I want to change it all. I want something better. I want to be able to choose my own path.
That's all.
With a shaky inhalation, she lifted her head and rubbed the back of one hand over her eyes. They felt raw, the brightness of the room not helping in the least, but she could see enough that she could recognize Rufus sitting on a bed several feet away. He was looking down and off to the side, one hand scratching the back of his head. When he noticed that she had stopped crying, he glanced at her, a strange look on his face.It surprised her to realize it was sympathy.
"You okay?" he asked, his voice too quiet from what she was used to from him. She sat up, rubbing at her eyes again.
"Yes, I...I'm fine. I'm sorry."
He shrugged, looking away from her. "Sometimes drinking does that, makes all the really bad thoughts come out. And you have it pretty bad, don't you?"
For one blinding moment, she wanted to tell him. She wanted to confide in someone else just how life was when your body was never really your own, how she was despised by the parents who were supposed to love her, how she had never really had friends, how scared she was right now because, as much as she wanted to tell someone, anyone, she was afraid of being rejected.
The spell broke. Rufus wouldn't understand. Rufus wouldn't care. He'd probably be uncomfortable if she told him everything about her and her feelings. Wouldn't it be annoying to have to listen to her?
He wouldn't want to. He was already being nice enough just sitting with her. She shouldn't burden him any more.
"I only drank one beer," she said, looking down into her lap so that he couldn't see her blushing. "With Leone and Arngrim."
Rufus laughed, and Alicia thought he looked relieved that she had changed the subject. "Oh, I see. They're the ones corrupting you. Next thing you know, you'll be wanting us to take on a job instead've doing our mission like Silmeria's good little soldiers."
Leone said something about the mines... "Well, um, since Leone heard about a job, I thought we should..."
"Are you serious?" Before she had a chance to respond, Rufus shrugged, palms up. "I don't mind, but why?"
"Well..." Laying her hands on her lap, she crossed and uncrossed her ankles. "We'll be helping people, and we'll get stronger. The ruins were pretty bad..."
Rufus sighed as he stood up. "More monsters, then? You don't ask for a lot, do you?" Alicia blushed, though it seemed to her like he said that nicely, or more nicely than he would to, say, Silmeria. "Well, if I get a new bow, I wouldn't mind testing it out. I get the feeling we might be chasing the Dragon Orb across the continent."
"I hope not." Just the thought of it tired her.
"Yeah." He smiled and raised a hand. "See you in the morning."
Mimicking him, she felt oddly happy. "Good night."
Rufus isn't so bad, she later decided after her boots and stockings were removed and she was warm and comfortable in bed. The horrible disorientation and violent emotions of earlier were now the heaviness of sleep weighing her eyelids down. I'll try harder to understand everyone and maybe...no, definitely we'll succeed.
Even if Silmeria can't tell me what's wrong, I'll do my best anyway.-to be continued-
I meant to put this up two weeks ago, but FFN's PM and alert system died, taking my interest with it. Um, would hot Lezard action in the next part make up for this? Please?
