Hey everyone thank you for all the reviews and favorites, I really appreciate it. Here is the next chapter. This one has a lot more to do with the struggles of suffering from PTSD. Hope you all like the chapter and please review!


Chapter 2

The breeze hits my face. It is nice and warm. I ride my horse, Bucky, through the grounds. We gallop faster and faster, the thrill of the ride. I fill the wind through my hair. I slow Bucky to a trot and then stop overlooking the estate, my estate. I sigh to myself, thinking of all the fucked up shit that has happened in my life. My parents disappeared and our dead, all that fucked up shit on Yamatai. Sometimes I wonder if its me. Am I like a curse and bad things happen to those around me. I pat Bucky on the neck gently. I am so tired, so tired of aching inside, feeling as if it was I that caused the deaths of Grimm, Roth, and Alex. If I hadn't steered us into the dragon's triangle...they would all still be alive. It's all my damn fault. Oh Lara why did you have to be so stupid...so driven to find Yamatai...it was nothing but a bloody hellhole. You just had to prove yourself and look what you did...you cost the lives of three good men. You almost got Same killed as well...oh Sam...my sweet Sam. Something catches the corner of my eye. I look and see a car pull up in the distance and my heart skips a beat. She's here! It's been a month...I finally get to see Sam, my sweet, dear Sam. I turn Bucky around and we gallop toward the manor. The wind on my face, riding boots grip the stirrups. Images of Yamatai enter my mind, running through the wind...trying to save Sam. The chanting of that bastard...Mathias. Shots firing into his flesh...oh god Lara please forget it. I shake the images from my mind and focus on the present. This illness will not take me!

I slow Bucky down to a trot and wave over at the car. Henry waves at me and I see Sam. She sees me and a large smile appears on her face. Oh that smile, her smile. She breaks out in a run toward me. I hop off Bucky and open my arms wide, waiting for her to come into my embrace. She embraces me and my hands rest of her smooth back. I breathe in her scent, she smells of sweet roses. How I've missed this. She pulls away even though I could stand like this forever with her in my arms.

"Hi Bucky." She strokes him gently.

"I've missed you." I utter.

"I've missed you too Lara, being cooped in our home in San Francisco. I've been going crazy just sitting around. Plus I missed my bestest friend in the whole world." She smirks at me and I begin to lead Bucky to the stable.

"It's been quiet here, just Henry to keep me company...and Bucky."

We walk in silence for a while. We had both changed. She wasn't her giddy, always telling a joke type of person. While I...I am a fucked up mess. Part of me just wanted to reach out and hold her hand, to feel her hand in mind. Henry told me that I should tell her how I feel but she'd never go for it. We've been friends since were thirteen...fourteen...hell if I remember. Anyway we had been friends for so long she wouldn't want to jeopardize the friendship. How many times did I want to tell Sam on Yamatai that I loved her...that I love her. I just wanted to say I love you the whole time but never had the courage. I still don't. Probably never will and I will always love Sam from afar. We reach the stables and I take the saddle off while Sam begins to groom Bucky.

"I remember doing this last summer, remember?" She asks me, her brown eyes look directly into mine.

"Yes I remember, we played polo, so much fun." I smile to myself.

"It was." She remarks.

We are silent again as we go about our tasks. Memories flood my mind. I remember carrying Sam all the way to the boat with Jonah and Reyes waiting for us. I remember hearing Sam crying, my heart was breaking from hearing her sobs. The images flash to killing Mathias, the rage that filled my veins, remembering the thrill it felt with each bullet pierced his flesh. I look down and see my hands beginning to shake. I try to shake the memories from my mind but they just keep flooding it. My first kill, the rush of killing others, the desire to kill them all, every single last one of those bastards.I remember my first kill, part of his brain oozing out of his head. My heart rate accelerates. Nausea takes me and I begin to gag.

"Sam." I utter and then I vomit all over the ground in front of me.

"Lara...sweetie." She comes to my aid.

"I'm so sorry...this happens." I wipe my mouth.

"I know Henry explained it." She smiles at me and cleans up my vomit. "Come on let's get you inside, you look tired." She wraps her arm around me and we walk out of the stable, after taking care of Bucky.

Her arm around me feels so wonderful like she is my light through the darkness that I am in, she is the medicine to my illness.