Really? Is the world being serious right now, or is trying to be funny? Because I'm not amused with its antics.
I was staring outside at the snow storm blowing around. It had been sunny yesterday, what on earth happened? It didn't even snow often in this city, if at all. I sighed, rubbing my temples in annoyance. I had let Yoru inside so she wouldn't freeze, I would put her in the guest room. Sasuke hated her being inside, even though she was well behaved. He didn't like animals, not everyone did, but he took it a bit too far. The dislike was mutual, Yoru hated him. At first it only seemed she was cold towards him because he wasn't fond of animals and she knew it, but it morphed into an obvious hostility later on.
Did animals really care about things like that, even if their master was too stupid to do anything, and continued bringing it onto herself? I doubted anyone shared sympathy for that. I remember the first time he hit me had probably been my fault, I shouldn't smart off when someone had a bad day. But, did that deserve being slapped onto the floor? Even if it did, it gradually got worse. It was like someone stole the man I had known for so long and switched him with something sinister. He had been cynical and even rough with some of his other friends, but nothing like he ever did with me. He became like a monster; something you knew you needed to avoid or something bad would happen.
He apologized that night. Apologies are strange things, you believe them or you don't, but you often believe the wrong thing. He kissed me and I was over it, I loved him and knew he loved me. Everyone lost their temper. But I became the very source of his temper, everything I did was annoying. I was a lot of bad things. I was loud, I was clumsy, I wasn't the smartest or greatest looking woman around. And I definitely knew it already, but Sasuke seemed to think it was my fault that anything went wrong. He said he should have had dated someone he could take somewhere without being embarrassed.
That shouldn't hurt as much as it did. But it did, as if a bee had stung my heart. I had learned to brush off comments that were insulting or rude, but how could I do that with someone I loved? That I lived with, had said he loved me, had done so much for me? If he thought that way, it was true. He knew what successful was. If he started seeing me in a different light, then it was me who changed for the worst. I was trying to change back, to be skinny and pretty with a well-paying job. But he was always right, I was a deplorable, inept excuse of a college wreck. I kept going to school so I could pretend that I had a life where I didn't. Sasuke had gotten sick of "letting me feed off his life" and stopped driving me to school, to anywhere. He was right of course, I needed to stop being lazy and get off his back.
It was almost half an hour to Sora University, and that was by car. I didn't even know how long it would take to fight through this mini-blizzard. I felt scorned by the fact Sasuke obviously hadn't cared about it. But, did he ever? I had spent this past year learning he didn't. I shivered, turning around to hunt down a couple of jackets to ward off the chill, surprised when I nearly ran into someone's chest.
I neglected to tell you that someone else lived with Sasuke; his older brother, Itachi. He and Sasuke inherited the home from their family, though Itachi worked away often. He was twenty-three, five years older than Sasuke and I, so he wasn't around often when we were in high school. I thought he was pretty nice, he was quiet and calmer than Sasuke was. He probably looks down on me the same as his brother does, we didn't really establish a solid relationship beforehand. We spoke, of course. But he was someone I could easily just sit with and be comfortable. If you didn't like to talk much, he wouldn't push you.
"Sorry, Itachi." I murmured, stepping around him. Like I said, I was clumsy, Itachi just never said anything about it. I sighed, folding my arms and walking into the bedroom again to put on a jacket. I looked for gloves or something for my hands, but didn't find anything. I still didn't have much money, pathetically. I needed to find a steady job, but… I was someone that wasn't happy for long, I wanted to keep doing different things. Sasuke hated that, he told me normal people learned to be happy with what they had and settled down to take care of themselves. But I wasn't good at a lot of things, much less something that paid well. I still scrounged up enough for school and textbooks, but if I didn't live with Sasuke I wouldn't have a home or food. He didn't let me go out much anyway, work and school. I used to think jealousy was cute, before it got serious.
I walked back out, running a hand through my hair to make sure it was all right. I kept the red mess cut short, otherwise it would go wild. I went into the kitchen, smiling lightly as I found Itachi stroking Yoru's ears. She liked to hang around him, they said animals liked people with calm personalities. He seemed to like her all right. I clicked my tongue, taking her into the guest room. I put a bowl of water down for her, kissing her nose before leaving.
I picked up my bag, looking outside once more. I exhaled slowly, shoulder's sagging. The wind was picking it up, the snow turning into a white curtain, it looked like. I couldn't stay home, it was a bitch to catch up and I needed every ounce of knowledge the teacher's spouted out. I shrugged the bag on, turning to leave. I paused when Itachi said my name, turning around to acknowledge him. "Do you need a ride?" He asked, pulling his coat on and picking up his keys. I shook my head, the school was out of his way, i wasn't going to trouble him. "No, you don't-" He raised a hand, nodding at the window. I glanced out of it, pursing my lips at the snow which now seemed like its one goal was to make sure no one could get anywhere.
"All right. Thanks." I said, grateful for the offer. He nodded, walking with me out to the car. I smiled in thanks when he opened the door for me. Itachi had always been polite, I guess to the rusts like myself. I thought about that for a second, he never said anything belittling to me. I shook my head slightly to clear my head; why should he even bother wasting the words. I looked up when the school came into view, unbuckling the seat belt. "Thank you, I appreciate it." I said. He gave me a smile, surprising me as I got out and walked into the college. He didn't smile all that often, I thought he should more often.
"Oh look, steal a ride from his brother?" I heard a scornful voice ask. Oh, something I should tell you, I gave up on trying to curb my temper. "Damn Karin, can you stop being such a vulture and learn to focus on your own life?" I hissed, nudging past the other woman and into class. I heard her say something else, but I was already sitting down and didn't hear it. Probably some sort of degradation. She wasn't stupid, but she didn't think grades were important so she ended up in this college along with me, Naruto, and a few other friends. It wasn't a bad college at all, but it wasn't "way up there."
Today seemed like the snow made everyone antsy. No one was still for long, even the teachers seemed annoyed and just put up slides or videos for us to copy notes for. I scribbled down the words, doodling on the corners of the papers. I was very easily distracted, it had always been that way. My mind drifted, and I had to make sure notes got written or I'd be eaten alive in class.
At the end of the day I packed up, shaking my head at a group of boys that opened the window and jumped out of it, into the snow. The teacher grumbled under her breath as she shut it, I caught her saying she wished her class had been on the second floor. Some kids were impatient to get out of class, the snow made it worse as some people changed their minds about going outside, and backed up inside again. I dodged my way around bustling groups and made it outside.
"Damn it's cold." I muttered, pulling the jacket tighter around me. Someone playfully punched my arm, making me turn around to see a blinding grin and wild blonde hair. "Isn't snow supposed to be cold?" Naruto teased, making me roll my eyes. "Yeah, but it could take a break for some of us to get home." I replied, a little irritably. Naruto started to say something, but he paused and looked over my shoulder, making me raise a brow. "Is that Sasuke's brother?" He asked. I blinked in surprise, turning around; surprise turning into shock when I realized Naruto was right. I wondered what he could have been doing here, but a small inner voice reminded me that the only reason he had to be here was for me. No one else he knew was here.
I waved goodbye to Naruto before jogging up to the car, getting in. "Thanks for this, I know it's out of your way." I said, settling into the seat. "It's out of your way to walk an hour in the snow." He replied, I bit my lip when I caught a mild hint of irritation. He glanced at me, raising his hand. I flinched.
The second I did I felt adrenaline burst through me. How stupid could I be?
He raised his brows, brushing his hand through my hair. "There's snow in your hair." He told me, catching my gaze. I felt my heart catch in my chest; I knew he suspected something about me. The way I acted would look pretty bad. But it was explainable. At least, from my view. "Oh, thanks. Snow likes bright colors it seems." I rolled my eyes, changing the subject so the calculating look in his eyes went away. He nodded, pulling out of the school and driving home. "Amaya, I was wondering if you were interested in a job I'd heard about recently. The library wants to start an afterschool club for kids, they're looking for people interested in writing short stories to be read to them."
My eyes lit up then, excited at the thought. I loved to write and I liked children, but could I really manage that? "I picked up a paper with information about it, you could go this weekend to see about it." He told me, pulling into our driveway. I nodded, picking up my bag as we both got out. "That sounds amazing!" I said, my excitement showing in my voice. He smiled back, unlocking the door. I shivered as I walked into a much warmer temperature, shedding my jacket and setting my stuff down. "I know you usually write something more mature, but it could be considered practice." He said, handing me a paper with information for the job printed on it.
I was taken aback by the comment, not guessing he really even knew I wrote much. I'd stopped for a little while, discouraged by Sasuke's disapproval of it. He didn't think writing was real work. My writing wasn't even interesting, according to him. But I still liked it. "Thank you. It'll be something new, kids are the best critics." I murmured. He chuckled at that, nodding in agreement. "I have a meeting soon, I'll see you later tonight." I nodded, telling him goodbye before walking into the kitchen and going over the paper. I heard the door open and my eyes narrowed, unless Itachi had forgotten something it was too early for either of them to-
Shit.
Sasuke walked into the kitchen, glancing at me. "What are you doing?" He asked, eying the paper. I shrugged. "Someone gave me a flyer, I was only reading it to see what it was about." I said, stuffing it into my pocket before he asked to look at it. I felt my heart racing, he wasn't supposed to be home until night; I still had Yoru inside and I hadn't picked anything up. I waited for the trigger to be pulled. He walked into the hall and it took a few minutes before he opened a door.
Bang…
He stormed out into the kitchen, his expression angry. I looked up at him as if asking what was wrong, which was stupid. Don't do that if someone's mad. He grabbed my arm and pulled me so I was on his side of the counter. "What's that dog doing in here?" He demanded as Yoru stalked into the room. I quickly went over and dragged her outside, turning around to deal with my gun.*
"You know I hate that dog in here, it's filthy and sheds. How stupid are you that I have to repeat things a million times?" He said, voice rising to yelling. The words were like needles, each one sinking deep into me and breaking off, a lasting pain. That's what words were.
"It was freezing, I didn't want her out there. What's more important, Sasuke? A few stupid black hairs or her comfort?" I said, my own voice cold. I deserved what happened next, because I shouldn't fight him back.
"Crash!"
I winced when I hit the wall, slamming my head. He'd shoved me, making me fall back. He glared down at me, and the first thing that shot through my mind was; damn, how many times is my life going to hit the replay button and end up with me on the ground? "Don't smart off to me, you bitch. This is my house, next time I find the dog in here I'll sell it." He said, turning and leaving into his workspace. I picked myself up, rubbing the spot on my head where I'd hit.
Same old story, no different details.
He got mad, I was stupid, and he dealt out whatever he saw fit to reprimand the stupid thing I'd done. I just didn't want Yoru to be out in the cold all day. It was my job to take care of her. I thought back to Itachi. He treated her nicely, like she was actually a living thing. He and Sasuke were polar opposites, almost.
"Get in here and do something about the mess." He said as he walked back out, picking up a bottle of water. "Sasuke I don't have this night to clean the entire house, I have a project to finish." I said, picking up my bag. It was true, I knew cleaning would take a couple of hours and I had to get the project done and go to bed early to get to class. I cried out softly when he grabbed my arm and twisted it, making me drop my bag and turn to face him. I knew better, I know I should have just picked up a few things to appease him, but I didn't.
His hand raised, and I started to say something to stop him, but the trigger was already pulled. You can't take back the pull of a gun.
AUTHORESS NOTE:
Booooring.
I don't know, I'm doing an okay job of writing Itachi aren't I? I purposely want him to be a little OOC.
Also, two things.
Rusts are what some people I hang around call the "undesireables." Kids they think are poor or stupid. Come from a bad background and have no life.
And when Amaya refers to Sasuke as the gun, and the trigger being pulled, that's what my family reffered to an abusive relationship as. The abuser is a deadly weapon, a gun aimed to bring harm to their victim. When they get angry, it's a trigger being pulled.
