Disclaimer – Doc Martin and it's characters belong to Buffalo Pictures Ltd, I'm only playing with them for a short while.
AN – Thanks to Diane for her great beta work, any errors are mine because of final tinkering.
Chapter 2
~x~
The ambulance made good progress and it wasn't long before it arrived at Truro Hospital.
"Come on love, we need to get him inside," said the paramedic as he gently pulled Louisa off Martin's chest.
They quickly got the stretcher out of the ambulance and rushed Martin through to the Emergency Room.
"It's all right, we'll take him from here," said one of the nurses, as another took Louisa's arm and directed her towards a waiting room.
"I just need to take some details from you, if that's okay?" asked the second nurse.
They went through various forms, filling in questions about Martin and his next of kin, many of which she was unable to answer. Louisa was shocked at how little she actually knew about him, and she was relieved when she saw Joan dashing through the automatic doors of the A&E Unit.
"How is he,?" Joan asked, breathlessly, as she reached Louisa.
"I don't know; they wouldn't let me stay with him," sobbed Louisa. She knew that she shouldn't be so emotional, especially now that Joan was there. Joan was his family, not her; she had no right to be so upset. "I'm sorry Joan, I'm just being stupid."
"Come on, we all care about him. I know he cares about you," said Joan as she pulled Louisa to her for a reassuring hug. But Joan's words had just made it ten times worse for Louisa.
Of course she knew that he cared about her, as that had been obvious for years, but they just never seemed to be able to sort themselves out. She'd finally decided that she couldn't do it any longer, she couldn't put up with his hurtful comments, but now…
The last conversation that they had, at least the last one she thought he would remember, she'd criticised him for trying to be nice for her. If only she'd given him some encouragement instead of belittling his attempt to change. She was as thoughtless as he was and she was thoroughly ashamed of herself.
Not long after Joan had arrived, a doctor came out of the ER to speak to the two women.
Looking at Louisa, he said, "Are you Dr Ellingham's wife?"
"Err, no, I'm…"
"She's his partner," Joan answered, for Louisa.
Louisa looked over at Joan and smiled weakly. Having received that information, the doctor continued to explain to the two women that Martin was going to be transferred to the Intensive Care Unit.
"We need to give him intravenous antibiotics to start fighting the infection and also immunoglobulin to try and deal with the toxins in his body."
"So he does have Toxic Shock Syndrome?" asked Joan.
"Yes, he does and I'm afraid that I have to tell you that he is very seriously ill. The infection has caused his kidneys to fail, and we are also going to have to place him on dialysis. The next few hours are going to be critical, and I have to prepare you for the worst, I'm afraid," said the Doctor solemnly.
Louisa dropped back down onto the chair. The doctor had confirmed her worst fears; she was never going to have the chance to be happy with him.
"We'll keep you informed of his progress," said the doctor as he prepared to go back to the ER.
"Can we see him?" Joan shouted after the doctor.
"As soon as he is settled in ICU, then one of the nurses will come to get you. You may be able to spend a couple of minutes with him. I have to warn you, though, you may be a little shocked by his appearance." And with that the doctor turned on his heel and walked away swiftly.
Joan looked down to where Louisa was sitting. She recalled the image of her shattered nephew kneeling in his kitchen the night before and was struck by the similarities that she now saw in the woman below her. Why had it taken something like this for Louisa to realise her true feelings for Martin, thought Joan. Life could be very cruel at times - she knew that more than most - and deep down she feared that they would both be grieving by the end of the day.
"Why don't I get us a cup of coffee while we wait? There must be a vending machine around here somewhere," said Joan, as she looked round the waiting area.
"I'm okay, Joan, thank you. I don't think I could stomach anything at the moment," whispered Louisa.
"Fine, I'll just be a second; I see one over there," said Joan, as she pointed down the corridor.
Joan hurried off, not wanting to leave Louisa on her own for too long. When she returned, she noted that Louisa hadn't moved a muscle and was still sitting with her hands clasped together, staring down at her shoes.
Maybe now wasn't the time or place but Joan felt that she had to tell Louisa how Martin really felt about her. If things were as bad as the doctor had said, then Louisa needed to be able to make her peace with Martin, or, as Joan knew only too well, she would regret it for the rest of her life.
"I know about what happened after the concert, Louisa," said Joan tentatively, testing out Louisa's reaction.
Louisa remained silent, still closely examining her shoes. So, Joan decided to push a little further.
"He was very upset that you had finished the relationship, physically upset even. It's one of the only times I've ever seen him cry, actually," continued Joan. "I'm afraid I was rather harsh with him about it, told him he needed to forget about you and move on. I deeply regret that now because you see, Martin cares very much for you; in fact, I'd go as far as saying that he loves you, Louisa."
Louisa stood up abruptly and took a few steps away from Joan. She put her hands to her face and started to sob quietly.
Joan quickly went to where Louisa was standing and wrapped her arms around her.
"I know he loves me… stupid man, stupid bloody man," Louisa sobbed.
"Now, now, come on, you don't mean that," said Joan.
"Of course I don't mean it. I love him too, more than he can probably imagine. But why does he have to make everything so hard for me? All I want to do is to be able to love him without having to make excuses for his behaviour all the time. Anyway, it's probably too late now, he's…" Louisa could continue no longer and, instead, she grabbed hold of Joan as if her life depended upon it, and the two women stood in the middle of the waiting room slowly swaying in each other's arms.
~x~
They were so immersed in their mutual grief that neither of them noticed the ICU nurse approaching them. She stood beside them for a moment and then asked if they were with Martin. They looked round at the nurse and Louisa grabbed hold of Joan's hand. She was convinced that something had happened to him and that the nurse had come to break the bad news
"Dr Ellingham is comfortable in ICU now if you'd like to spend a few minutes with him. There are some things that I need to prepare you for first, though."
Joan squeezed Louisa's hand and nodded to the nurse to continue.
"He is on a ventilator so that his body can take a rest and concentrate on fighting the infection. He is on intravenous fluids and antibiotics, and we have had to catheterise him. You will see that there are a lot of tubes and wires attached to various parts of his body, but please try not to worry about these, as they all serve an essential purpose. He also has a dialysis catheter fitted in his neck; this is to clean his blood and assist his kidneys. He is in a stable condition, but he is still very poorly."
"Thank you. I think we'd like to see him now," said Joan as she looked towards Louisa, who was nodding in agreement, albeit tentatively.
Louisa and Joan followed the nurse to the ICU. Once inside, they were instantly aware of all the strange sounds that the monitors were making.
"Please don't worry about all the noise; it's perfectly normal," the nurse reassured them, having noticed their concern.
As they walked silently towards Martin's bed, they could see that he was indeed attached to a variety of wires. The sheet was folded down and rested across his stomach. His chest was covered with the sticky pads of the heart monitor; he had an endotracheal tube in his mouth that was attached to the ventilator and two IV lines inserted in his wrists as well as the dialysis catheter in his neck.
They watched in horror as his chest rose and fell in an unnatural, mechanical rhythm.
"You can stay for a short while," said the nurse, gesturing for them to sit at his bedside.
Joan gently nudged Louisa over to the chair nearest to Martin and she took a seat beside her.
"He just looks like he's sleeping," whispered Louisa. But she knew that he was actually in a coma and was unable to wake up. They hadn't even needed to give him a sedative; he was that poorly.
"He's a stubborn man; he won't let this defeat him," said Joan, trying to convince herself of that fact as much as Louisa.
"Oh, Joan, I should have known that there was something wrong with him this morning. He said that he was feeling under the weather," Louisa sighed. "Maybe if I'd insisted that he get some help, things wouldn't have come to this."
Joan took hold of Louisa's hand and they sat in silence watching helplessly as the man that they both loved lay in front of them, totally oblivious of the danger that he was in and the concern that he was causing.
Louisa reached for Martin's hand carefully, so as not to disturb the cannula. Joan could see the nurses looking over at them, and she knew that they would soon be asked to leave. She decided to give Louisa a little time on her own with Martin, and so she made an excuse that she needed to visit the ladies and said that she would meet Louisa outside.
Joan leaned over her nephew, kissed him gently on the forehead and whispered to him, "Stay strong Marty. I need you here with me in Portwenn. I've always wanted you here… bye, son."
Louisa had heard Joan's words and tears began to prick her eyes. She watched as Joan left the ICU and then she turned once again to Martin, who was still lying motionless, the monitors bleeping and flashing around him.
It was all too overwhelming, and she was still struggling to understand the feelings that seemed to be tearing her apart. In the last 48 hours she had gone from never wanting to see him again to desperately wanting to hold him in her arms one more time.
She put her hand on his chest and felt its rise and fall. He was warm and still very clammy. She looked at his hand where he had cut himself. It was her fault, all her fault. If she hadn't caused him so much pain, he would never have been in that situation. She knew that he loved her and how dare she presume to try and change him. All she wanted now was for him to open his eyes, look over at her and tell her that she looked awful or that her breath smelled or any other insult that he could think of to throw at her. She would happily accept it.
"I'm afraid it's time for you to leave, Miss," said the nurse politely.
Louisa nodded and she stood so that she was beside Martin's head. She bent down, put her hand on his forehead and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.
Joan looked through the window of the IC Unit and saw Louisa softly stroke his hair as she whispered something in his ear.
"I know you can't hear me, but I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I love you, Martin." She kissed his hand and then carefully placed it back down by his side. Reluctantly she walked towards the door but glanced back, only to see several nurses busily going about their duties around Martin's bed.
The two women walked hand in hand from the hospital to return to Portwenn, leaving behind them the man that they both cared so much about.
~x~
The following day it wasn't long before the entire village knew how seriously ill Martin was. Even though he wasn't widely liked as a person in Portwenn, he was respected as their GP and there was much discussion about his chances of recovery.
Pauline had decided to open the surgery, as she knew that she would be faced with a steady stream of people enquiring as to his condition. Not long after she had opened up, Louisa came in.
"Louisa, have you heard anything?" asked Pauline.
"Err, no news really. I rang the hospital as soon as I got up, but they just said that he was comfortable."
"Don't suppose they'd give you much information anyway, seeing as you're not… well, you know, you're not…"
"His wife, girlfriend, partner. Yes, I know; thank you, Pauline," prickled Louisa.
"Anyway, he's in the best place," said Pauline, hurriedly trying to diffuse the situation.
Gesturing up the stairs towards Martin's bedroom, Louisa said, "I'll just go and collect some things."
Pauline watched as Louisa walked slowly up the stairs, and then she carried on filing, doing anything to keep her mind occupied.
Louisa had never been upstairs in the surgery, so it was unfamiliar territory to her. She easily located his bedroom and walked over to his cupboards. She took out some clean pyjama bottoms and a couple of T-shirts. She also grabbed a few pairs of boxer shorts from his drawer, although she felt very awkward rummaging around in his things, as if she was violating him in some way.
She walked over to his bed and noticed that it was still crumpled from the last time he had slept there. That in its self seemed very strange, for he always seemed so particular about everything. It just made her realise even more that Martin hadn't been himself the previous day.
She sat down on his bed and ran her hand across the cover. She reached over and picked up the crumpled T-shirt that lay beside his pillow. Holding it to her face, she buried herself in it and inhaled deeply, obtaining some comfort from its familiar smell. She held it to her for several minutes and then after neatly folding it, she placed it under his pillow and then she made his bed.
Having collected all the items she needed from his bathroom also, she went back downstairs and hearing that Pauline was in the kitchen, she took the opportunity of slipping quietly out of the surgery.
~x~
She hadn't been back at the cottage very long before Joan arrived to drive them both to the hospital.
After they had exchanged pleasantries, they quickly headed off to see Martin.
When they finally got there, they went straight to the ICU. They had been told that all being well, they should be able to spend longer with Martin that day. There would be some routine things that would have to be done and on those occasions, they would be asked to step out of the room. Apart from that, they could stay with him.
When they got there, they were shocked to find that Martin was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh my God, what's happened to him?" asked Louisa, with her heart in her mouth.
Joan quickly looked around for a nurse and on seeing one at the nurse's station, she went over to see what was happening. Joan returned and was pleased to reassure Louisa that Martin had just been taken for a scan.
"They need to know how well his kidneys are functioning," explained Joan.
"Right, good… so he'll be back soon?" asked Louisa anxiously.
"Yes, they expect him any minute."
And no sooner had Joan said this than Martin was returned to the Unit.
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait outside while we settle him back in," said the polite nurse again.
Louisa and Joan went outside and watched through the window.
Joan looked on at her nephew and felt saddened at his fragile appearance. The once irritatingly stubborn, but very proud man was certainly now a shadow of his former self.
The nurses made him comfortable and decent and then gestured for the two women to re-enter.
This time Louisa suggested that Joan should sit nearest to him, but she was having none of it and made sure that Louisa sat right next to him. After only a few minutes, the doctor that they had seen the previous day entered the department and headed over to see them.
"I believe that you and Dr Ellingham know Chris Parsons," said the doctor to Louisa. "He's in London at the moment, but he heard about Martin's admission and he wants you to know that as soon as he gets back, he'll pop in to see how things are."
Louisa nodded and reached over for Martin's hand.
"Did you hear that, Martin? Chris sends his best," she said, trying to act as normally as possible.
"Martin has had a reasonably good night. He has remained stable and is tolerating his treatment well. It will be several days yet until we know if the antibiotics are having the desired effect, however," explained the doctor.
"So, he's going to be alright; is that what you're telling us?" asked Joan, hopefully.
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you that as yet. It does appear that his kidneys are not as bad as we first feared, but we are going to continue with the dialysis just to give them the best chance possible. He is still fighting the infection and we will continue with the intravenous antibiotics."
"Is he sedated now?" asked Louisa.
"No, he's still in a coma, I'm afraid. When he starts to come round, if he is agitated by his whereabouts, we may have to sedate him so that he doesn't do himself any further harm," explained the doctor.
"When do you expect him to regain consciousness?" asked Joan.
"It'll be a good sign if he makes an attempt in the next 24 hours. If there's anything else you want to ask, just let me know," said the doctor as he smiled kindly and then continued with his rounds.
For the rest of the day, Joan and Louisa took it in turns to stay with Martin. Neither of them wanted to leave the hospital, but they did feel the need to stretch their legs and escape from the suffocating atmosphere of the ICU every now and again.
The day came and went with no sign of Martin regaining consciousness. Louisa had felt sure that he would be back with them before the day was out, so when it came time for them to leave, it was with a heavy heart that she went to bid him an emotional farewell. The optimism that she'd had earlier in the day had disappeared and been replaced by an awful foreboding that she would never be able to talk to him again.
"Oh, Martin, please wake up just one more time. I need you to know that I love you and that I've been so very stupid. I want you more than you could ever imagine; please don't leave me," she pleaded, and once again she reached across to stroke his hair and kiss his forehead.
Just as she was about to leave, the monitor beside his bed began to bleep furiously. Two nurses rushed over to him and the doctor quickly appeared. The doctor removed the tube from his mouth and both Joan and Louisa, who had stood back out of the way, heard Martin splutter.
"Please tell us what's happening?" pleaded Joan, to a nurse who was standing near by.
"Don't worry, he's regaining consciousness, so they need to take out the tube that has been helping him to breathe; hopefully he'll be able to breathe on his own."
Louisa and Joan looked at each other, a mixture of concern and relief etched on their faces as they watched anxiously to see how Martin would cope.
The monitor had returned to its regular beeping rhythm and the doctor made his way over to them.
"Martin is breathing on his own for the moment, but he may continue to drift in and out of consciousness for some time yet. He is slightly confused but that's to be expected. Don't be surprised if he has no recollection of what has happened," explained the doctor, helpfully. "You can go over now."
Joan walked to Martin's side and squeezed his hand gently. He looked up at her and smiled weakly and appeared to try and say something to her.
"Don't try and talk, Marty. Best keep your strength up. There's someone else here who wants to see you," said Joan, as she reached for Louisa's arm and pulled her over towards Martin. Joan moved out of the way to allow Louisa beside him.
Louisa sat down and put her hand next to his on the bed. He reached for her hand and held it very loosely in his; it was all the strength he could seem to muster.
Pulling the oxygen mask away from his mouth with his other hand, he whispered softly, "Louisa, I'm so sorry, I've been such a fool; you deserve better."
"No, I'm the fool. It shouldn't have taken this to happen, for me to realise how much I love you," she said, as she leaned over him and kissed him on the lips before taking the mask from his hand and returning it to his mouth.
Martin drifted back to sleep, so Louisa and Joan both quietly said goodnight to him and went home for some much needed sleep.
~x~
Over the next few days, Martin made good progress and it wasn't long before he was taken off dialysis and some of the cannulas were removed. He still required intravenous antibiotics, however, but he was deemed stable enough to be moved to a general ward.
To Louisa and Joan, it was plain to see that he was getting back to normal as he couldn't help but try to diagnose some of the new patients that came into the ward on a day-to-day basis.
Also, he was less than complimentary about the hospital food and made sure that Joan brought something healthy with her that he could eat when the nurses weren't looking.
However, Louisa was pleased to note that he hadn't once made a hurtful comment to her about anything remotely personal, and she just wondered whether the whole near-death experience might actually turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
They spent a lot of time together over the following few days and seemed to be much more comfortable in each other's company, and it was easy to see that Martin was far more cheerful when he spotted Louisa coming into the ward.
After a couple more weeks, Martin had been told that he could be discharged from hospital as long as there was someone at home to look after him. He was still very weak and would be unable to properly look after himself for some time yet.
Joan had been keen to have him stay at the farm, but they had been advised against that because of the potential for further infection. The wounds on Martin's hand had been drained and cleaned when he'd first entered hospital, but unfortunately some of the infected skin had to be removed and he faced a further skin graft in the near future in order to allow his hand to heal properly.
So, Louisa quite happily said that Martin could stay with her until he was strong enough to return to his own house.
~x~
Finally, it was the day of Martin's discharge from the hospital. Louisa had cleaned up her house and made sure that she had everything she needed to make him comfortable. She'd been out and bought a more masculine duvet set, as she didn't think that he would appreciate sleeping in her bright red sheets.
As it was a one-bedroom cottage, she had been able to borrow a fold-away bed from Sally Chadwick. It fitted easily in the lounge, and Louisa was sure that it would be more than comfortable for the couple of weeks that Martin would be staying with her.
Joan had seemed quite happy for Martin to be staying there, and after being rather reluctant at first, it seemed that Martin was quite happy with the arrangement too.
It would be several weeks before he regained his strength, and as the school holidays were coming up, Louisa knew she'd have plenty of time on her hands to make sure that he didn't over-do things at first.
Joan had decided not to go to the hospital; she thought it was probably better if Louisa just picked him up. Too much fuss wouldn't do Martin any good, and just the effort of leaving the hospital would put a huge strain on his body.
Louisa went straight to Martin's ward and was pleased to see him sitting on the edge of his bed. As soon as he saw her, he immediately asked,
"I couldn't find my suit amongst any of the things you brought in for me."
"Well, I really didn't think you would want to wear a suit when you came out of hospital. You're just going straight back to my cottage, remember?" Louisa replied.
"Anyway, I thought these would be far more comfortable," she said as she held up a pair of jogging bottoms and a new T-shirt.
Martin looked at her in horror. He hadn't worn jogging bottoms since his days at school and even then, it was only when absolutely necessary. But he really didn't have the energy to argue, so, after Louisa had closed the curtains around his bed, he started to get dressed.
"Are you managing, Martin?" she asked from outside the curtain.
Martin was struggling with his socks and so with great reluctance, he had to admit that he needed some help.
"I can't manage my socks with this damned hand, I'm afraid."
Louisa slipped through the curtain and saw that Martin looked exhausted. He'd managed to put on his jogging bottoms and had made a reasonable attempt with his T-shirt. She pulled the shirt down his back for him and then stooped down in order to put on his socks and shoes.
Martin looked at her as she carefully slipped each sock on. He could see now why she was such a good teacher; she showed so much compassion and care with everything and everyone.
"There," she said as she patted his foot. "Let's get all your stuff together and get out here. What do you say?"
Martin nodded and after she'd helped him slip his feet into his shoes he reached for her hand to help her up. He held it rather longer than he intended to and when he realised, he quickly let her go. Louisa put his shyness down to his weakened state and she quickly went to pack all of his belongings into the hold-all that she had brought to the hospital earlier in his stay.
A nurse had already brought Louisa a wheelchair to take Martin out to the car. Reluctantly, he agreed to sit in it, but only until he was out of sight of the nurses and then he made Louisa leave it in the corridor. He walked very unsteadily the remaining way and Louisa found herself holding him around the waist to help him.
Once back at Louisa's cottage, Martin struggled to get up the stairs because he was so exhausted, but he refused to accept her help. She had already had to help him a lot more than he felt comfortable with. He really was a very stubborn man, but his pride wouldn't allow him to admit defeat and eventually he made it into her bedroom.
He slumped down onto her bed and Louisa took hold of his legs to help him swing them round and up onto it.
She sat down beside him and they looked at each other, but Martin broke off the stare and shuffled his bottom up the bed so that he was in a sitting position, resting against the headboard.
"Thank you for your kindness, Louisa," he said sincerely. She reached for his hand, but he pulled it away and Louisa could see that he was shattered, so she decided to leave him to rest.
Martin continued to convalesce well. He slowly regained his strength and he and Louisa started taking short walks in the village to try and build up his muscles once again.
During this time, they skirted round any conversations about their "relationship." Louisa was worried that Martin had changed; he appeared more introverted and quiet and he shied away from any physical contact with her. Louisa put it down to the effects of being in hospital; they had been warned that there could be some psychological issues that he would need to overcome on his discharge, but for the moment she was just happy to have him back and close to her.
Martin did continue to be rude and brusque, however, especially with the many visitors that came to ask about his well-being. Thankfully, though, he had realised that he was better keeping any personal observations about Louisa to himself.
He was happy that he and Louisa were once again friends, and he was reluctant to push her any further. If this was all he could hope for, then he'd be happy, for at least he could see her and talk to her.
It was the thought that Louisa might not want to be with him that frightened him so much. He really didn't think he could take her rejection again. It had scared him that the effects of losing her before had led him to make an almost fatal mistake and one that was totally out of character. He hadn't cleaned his injured hand after he dropped the casserole dish and this had led to the infection entering his body. He couldn't ever allow himself to lose his self control in such a way again. He was a doctor; he couldn't afford to put his patients at risk, God forbid… Louisa.
Martin spent three weeks at Louisa's cottage, but then he decided that it was probably time that he got back to normal and return to the surgery. He was hoping that he could soon go back to work part-time, after he'd undergone the surgery on his hand.
Although Martin and Louisa had grown a lot closer and seemed to have a better understanding of each other, he still couldn't allow himself to be put back into a situation where he risked losing control of his emotions. He had resigned himself to the fact that his aunt had been right. He couldn't change, and Louisa deserved to be loved by a man who could show her respect and make her happy.
In turn, Louisa was confused by Martin's behaviour. He had appeared overjoyed in hospital when she'd told him that she loved him, but now she doubted how much he had actually taken in when he was in there. They had told her that he was confused and slightly disorientated, so maybe he just didn't remember what she'd said.
She hadn't wanted to force herself on him whilst he was recovering. Although he was almost back to normal with his acerbic comments, she had also noticed that he seemed to be a far more vulnerable man now. She desperately wanted their relationship to develop, but now she doubted Martin's feelings for her and she could feel him slipping away from her once again.
On the day that Martin was due to return home, Louisa had offered to help him pack up his things. He was now physically quite capable of looking after himself, but Louisa wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. She'd grown accustomed to having him around her, and the thought of seeing him walk out of her life once more was filling her with great sadness.
She watched as he meticulously packed his bag. He'd asked her to bring one of his suits from the surgery, which she had done, and he now looked like the old Martin again. Gone were the jogging bottoms and T-shirts; it was time to get back to "normal" for him.
"Well, I think that's everything," he said, as he zipped up the bag.
"Why don't you have something to eat before you go?" asked Louisa, hoping that he would stay a little longer, and feeling increasingly anxious that he was walking out of her life for good.
"Err, no, I think I had better just get back. You've been more than generous with your time and hospitality, Louisa. I really don't know what I would have done without your help."
Martin picked up his bag and made his way down the stairs; he knew that he had to go, and there was little point in dragging out the inevitable. If he didn't go now, then he would be in the same state as he had been only a few weeks ago.
Louisa's heart was thumping in her chest and she felt an overwhelming sadness fill her whole body. She watched as he walked steadily down the stairs. He placed his bag at the bottom and went into the kitchen to collect a bag of groceries that Louisa had bought for him to take back with him.
Louisa followed him and walked into the living area.
"Well, I'll see you soon, I expect," he said, as he walked over to her and kissed her softly on the cheek. She grabbed his hand as he made to walk away, but he carried on and she had to gently let it go.
He picked up his bag of groceries and walked up the two steps from the kitchen.
"Martin," shouted Louisa. He turned to look at her.
"When you were in hospital, I thought that I'd lost you. Thought I'd never get to tell you that I was sorry. Sorry for what I said to you the night of the concert, sorry that I ignored your attempts to change. Having you here with me has felt so normal and so… well, perfect."
Louisa walked towards where Martin was standing.
"You're an extraordinary man, Martin," she said, struggling to remain in control her emotions.
"No, I'm not," he replied, desperately trying to cling onto his resolve not to become involved again for both of their sakes. But… could it be that she truly wanted to be with him, could they finally be reaching the understanding that they had struggled for so many years to attain.
"Marry me," she said, hoping upon hope that he would agree.
"What was that?" he asked, taken aback by her unexpected declaration.
"Martin, I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you and I can't bear to be without you… please will you marry me."
Martin put down his bags and stepped down to her level. He couldn't quite believe what she had just said, but the remainder of his resolve was shattered in an instant.
"Yes, Louisa, yes I will," he whispered, as he pulled her towards him and scooped her up. He closed his eyes tightly to stop the tears from flowing and rocked her gently in his arms.
~x~
To be continued...
