Chapter 2: Holla' Back Girl
Sean led Emma to the front porch. She stopped short, making Sean stumble back a step. He turned to her, relieved to see something other than a glazed look in her eyes. He frowned, realizing it was fear.
"What is it, Em?"
"Sean…this is…Jay's!" she whispered.
Sean nodded. "Yeah…it is. Come on."
Emma shook her head, still whispering. "I can't…he…hates me."
Sean frowned. "So? Since when has that ever stopped you?"
"Not…I can't…not tonight."
"Em, you need this. I need this. We need…" He sighed. "We need to get today out of our heads. Just come in. If he bugs you…or you're not having fun…we'll leave. OK?"
She chewed her lip, her eyes darting from side to side. He sighed sadly and pulled her closer, so that she was close, but not intimate close. "Emma…trust me?"
She looked in his eyes and sighed. "I hate when you do that," she groused and followed him inside.
She'd been right. Jay had seen them right off. His jaw dropped…then his lips formed a leering smirk. "So…" he yelled over the music. "Bam-Bam…what's up with Green Peace? Takin' a walk on the geek side?"
"Fuck off, Jay. You said I could bring a friend. I brought a friend. Either ask us to leave, or back the fuck off," he growled, nose-to-nose with Jay, letting him know he was serious.
Jay shrugged. "Whatever. It's cool. If you want a private place to-"
"It's not like that."
"Yeah. OK. Anyway…have fun." He turned to someone that Sean and Emma didn't recognize. "Hey! Steve, my man! What's up?"
"Thanks, Sean."
He shrugged. "Should have done that a LONG time ago. Want a drink?"
Emma nodded. "Ummm…yeah."
Sean walked away and came back a minute later with two glasses. "I checked. It's not spiked."
"Too bad," she murmured, taking a sip.
Fifteen minutes later, he went to grab two more drinks. This time, there was a line, and Emma waited off to the side, looking around at the crowd. Everyone was dancing…making out…and Jay suddenly appeared.
"So, what exactly are you expecting from Sean?"
"Nothing. He invited me."
Jay nodded. "Yeah. Right." He watched her for a moment. "Wanna' dance?"
She frowned. "You hate me…and you want to dance with me?"
Jay nodded and drug her to the floor. "Cameron's got a problem, you know."
"Like what?"
"He wants to fuck you…but he won't hurt Ellie."
Emma sighed. "What's your point, Jay?"
He pulled her closer. "I can feel it…you want laid. Sean won't do it for you…you know that, right?"
Emma flushed. "I don't-"
"Sure you do. I can feel it." He grabbed her hips roughly and pulled her against him, making her yelp in surprise. He began nibbling her ear. "God! You're such a hot little-"
"Jay, don't," she whimpered, unable to fight.
His hands began sliding her skirt up. "Look at this little 'screw me skirt' he chuckled softly. "We could do it right here, and no one would be the wiser."
"I asked you…please don't." She felt her throat clogging with tears. "I don't want to. I…"
Jay ground his hips against hers, his jeans covered groin rubbing painfully against her, snapping her back into reality. "Jay?"
"Hmmm?" he murmured softly, his lips nibbling her neck.
She shoved him back. "Go…go get fucked," she muttered angrily, walking away.
"Oh, I intend to…with or without you!" he shouted angrily.
Emma went in search of Sean. Jay had made her feel something inside her. She felt dirty, and weak kneed. She frowned. Yeah, she wanted to…but Jay was the last person she wanted it from.
When she approached, Sean saw her and frowned. "You OK?" he asked, taking her hand.
She nodded. "Yeah. I've…I need to pee."
Sean nodded. "Come on. I'll take you."
Emma frowned. "No! I mean…you're thirsty." She hated lying to him, but she was afraid to be around him.
"Emma? What's wrong? You look scared."
She shook her head. "I…I just REALLY need to pee."
Sean led her to the bathroom and checked to make sure no one was inside before letting her go in. Emma stood at the sink, taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself…trying to get the mental images of her past with Sean out of her mind. After a few moments, she sighed, feeling better, and flushed the toilet so Sean wouldn't suspect. She walked out.
Sean studied her for a moment. "Let's dance," he muttered, dragging her down the steps and onto the dance floor. The music was loud and thumping. Sean pulled her against him.
Uh huh, this my shit
All the girls stomp your feet like this
Emma closed her eyes, trying to block out images of earlier in the day. She didn't want to think. She just wanted to feel.
Emma watched in horror, frozen, as the gun went off. Both boys fell. Toby clung to her…they stood there in disbelief.
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl
I ain't no holla back girl
Sean pulled her tighter to him, reveling in the smell of her shampoo, which hadn't changed since grade 8. It smelled like honeysuckle. He buried his nose in her hair, remembering the feel of her body rubbing against his as he'd pulled her behind him to protect her from the gun, praying to God that it was all a dream. It wasn't.
He heard Emma gasp as he let the weight of Rick's body pull him to the ground. He lay there in stunned silence. His eyes were unseeing…unblinking…and he looked dead. Emma finally seemed to register what was happening.
The floor was already covered in blood. "Sean?" she whispered softly. "Sean?"
She turned to Toby, too afraid to contemplate the ramifications of what could be happening. "Toby? Get help."
Toby was too shocked to move. "Go! NOW!" she shrieked as she hurried over to Sean. "Sean? Please…don't be…oh, Sean!" she cried out.
ooh, this my shit , this my shit
The rhythm was steady and Emma was trying to lose herself within the beat. She pulled free from Sean and turned her back to him, raising her arms and swaying her hips to the beat. 'Don't think. Just feel,' her mind ordered her. 'Just forget that you told him your most intimate secret…your biggest weakness.'
"Please Sean," Emma sobbed, taking his hand. "Please…say something. Don't leave me. You can't leave me!" She pressed her cheek to his. "Don't leave me! I love you! Please? I love you! I never stopped…don't make me live without you."
"Em?"
I heard that you were talking shit
And you didn't think that I would hear it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up
Sean couldn't take it. He'd watched her hips sway to the music. He wanted her. He had Ellie. He couldn't have Emma. She wasn't his. Ellie was. 'Just…wait until you get home. Love Ellie the way you want to love Emma. Don't hurt either one of them,' his mind ordered. Still…if he could just touch her…the feeling would go away.
He felt Emma gasp as he grabbed her hips and pulled her against him…his front to her back. They soon found the rhythm of the song again.
"Em?"
Emma choked out a sob of relief and fell against him. "Oh, Sean!"
"Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?" She shook her head. "Don't cry, Em. I'm OK."
She looked into his eyes and nodded. "Why'd you do it? Why'd you save me?"
He frowned at her as if she were crazy. He sat up. "Em…you're part of me. If you died, I would die." His hands were full of blood, but it didn't seem to matter. Emma sensed his need. "I love you," he whispered as her lips fell over his.
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just goin' to happen like that
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl
I ain't no holla back girl
Emma's pulse quickened as she felt Sean's hips grinding into hers. She moaned softly, closing her eyes. She tried to ignore it…tried to hide her body's reaction. They'd almost died today…she needed her friend.
They broke their kiss, both feeling flushed and ashamed as the sound of several pairs of heavy boots thudded down the tiled halls in their direction. Suddenly, they were there…guns drawn.
"Stop!" Sean shouted, pulling her against him as if he could shield her. "She's already had ONE fucking gun pointed at her today! Shit, guys! Aint' that enough!"
A man went to check Rick. Sean's blood froze when the man looked at the other officers and shook his head. Rick was dead.
'Holy shit! I'm a fucking murderer!' Sean thought in horror.
ooh, this my shit , this my shit
Sean could feel his body reacting to Emma's closeness, but couldn't pull away. Everything in that moment told him to get the hell away from her…take her home before he went insane…to go home to his girlfriend, but he couldn't. He moaned softly, his head rising to the ceiling in agony, as Emma's hips ground harder against his. He took a deep breath to ease his dizziness and tried to stare straight ahead. Big mistake, but he realized too late that he had a straight view down her shirt. He watched in pain as sweat trickled down her neck, pooling in her cleavage. Her nipples poked dangerously against her bra, showing that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He couldn't drag his eyes away. He groaned when he felt Emma tremble against him and turn around to face him.
An officer came over and gently pulled Emma from Sean's arms. Another yanked Sean roughly from the ground.
"Stop it!" she screamed as they tried to handcuff him. She realized in horror that his arm was bleeding. "Stop it! Don't hurt him!"
"It's OK, Em," he murmured softly.
"NO!" she shrieked, trying to get to Sean. "He saved me! He's hurt! Stop hurting him!"
An officer finally seemed to take notice. "He's got a flesh wound, Sir."
The officer holding Emma back nodded. "OK. Take him to get it cleaned up."
Emma could hear the officer asking Sean questions. "What's your name, Son? Did you know the boy? Any reason why he might want to hurt anyone?"
So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us wanna be the winner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust
Sean didn't think it was possible to get any closer to Emma, but he did. This time, he was sure he'd heard her moan. He laid his cheek against hers.
"What are we doing?" he murmured in her ear.
"Dancing," she murmured back.
"I don't think this is dancing," he said, biting his bottom lip when his leg slipped between hers and she ground herself against it. He could tell she was as excited as he was. And that was a problem. If one of them wasn't into it…he could save himself. But they both were…and now he wasn't so sure.
"Em?" he gasped into her ear. "I want to…uhhh…kiss you," he muttered.
Emma smiled shyly. "Shut up and dance."
Sean smiled at her and relaxed his grip a bit.
The rest of the day was a blur. He felt numb. After he'd been cleaned up, his wound bandaged, they'd led him into the same room as the others. He saw Emma sitting there, completely in shock as they led him to another table. He knew Rick was dead, and he couldn't believe he had killed him. His hands shook as he talked to the officer. He dropped his head into his hand, trying to rub the scene from his mind. His eyes landed on Emma again, and stayed there.
"Son…you say he-"
"Look," he mumbled softly. "He pointed the fucking gun in her face. I tried to stop him. I tried to talk him into giving it to me…" his voice cracked as images of Emma laying dead on the ground floated into his mind. "What the fuck would YOU have done? I…she's my best…I love her. I was so shitty to her, dammit! I owed her! I wasn't going to let him fucking kill her right in front of me! The bastard tried to hurt the most decent and loving person I know. I'm sorry I had to kill him…but I'm NOT sorry he's dead. Are we done now?"
The officer sighed and nodded.
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just goin' to happen like that
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl
I ain't no holla back girl
Emma was dancing with her back to Sean. His hands were on her waist. She knew this was wrong. Sean belonged to Ellie…but she was so numb. Sean was making her feel. She'd been trying to feel ever since she'd climbed into the window and locked her door. She hadn't felt anything as she'd placed the hot lighter against her skin over and over.
She turned in his arms to face him. They looked in each other's eyes for a long moment. Emma dropped her forehead against his. "I died today," she cried out loudly to be heard over the music.
Sean's face pinched in pain. "Jesus, Em! Don't talk like that!"
She nodded. "OK…but you know I'm right."
Emma sat in the empty room, listening to Archie lay into her about not coming to him about Rick's advances.
"He pointed the gun right at me," she moaned softly, and her mother hugged her. Emma fell into her arms.
"Mommy! If Sean hadn't been there…"
"Don't! Don't think like that!"
ooh this my shit, this my shit
"No! You made it. You lived."
She shook her head with a smirk. "It's fucked up, I know," she yelled, laughing crazily. Sean frowned when she said 'fuck'…he'd never heard words harsher than 'hell' or 'damn' from her unless she was REALLY upset. She stopped laughing and looked at him again. "He wanted me dead because I'm a tease, you know."
"No, you're not!" he growled as her hands slid from his shoulders to his neck, lightly fluttering through his hair. "You're…not…" he ground out. God! He wanted to kiss her so bad.
Emma shrugged and turned her back to him. She began yelling out the next line of the song along with other partiers.
this shit is bananas again, shit is bananas Sean groaned as Emma put her hands on his hips. She slid seductively down his body, her hands trailing down his thighs. 'Shit!' he thought. 'I can'ttake it anymore!' His body trembled as she snaked her backside back up his body.
let me hear you say this shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s
b-a-n-a-n-a-s
b-a-n-a-n-a-s
He clenched his jaw tightly. Her body was moving so perfectly…he knew how she'd move if he…'NO! We're not here to get laid! She needs a friend!' He knew it had to stop. He was about to hurt her…hurt Ellie…and he had to make it all stop.
They'd danced together a hundred times…sometimes just like this when they were alone at his old house where he'd lived with Tracker. But never with this much passion. It had to stop.
He leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "Em…you do that again, and-" he chuckled in surprise as her face turned to his, a dare in her eyes…just beneath the pain and fear.
"And what?" she murmured and kissed the tip of his nose. Once again, she pulled his hips to her rear and began easing herself down, feeling his hardness sliding against her. She trembled. She knew she was pushing too hard…going to far, but…
This shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
Emma didn't have a chance to fix what she'd messed up. As soon as she slid back up, he groaned something in her ear. His lips dropped quickly to her neck, sucking gently.
"Sean!" she gasped. Her fingernails slid softly up his rib cage. It drove him crazy and she knew it, but her body just responded. Her hands reached the base of his neck…slid up to the spot where his hair joined his neck. Her nails rubbed his scalp in gentle circles as she dropped her head on his shoulder to give him more access to her neck. His head raised and she moaned sadly.
"What do you want from me, Em?" he murmured in her ear.
She thought for a moment. What DID she want? "More," she moaned softly as she pressed her body against his hardness.
He nodded and smiled. His lips fell on hers…along her jaw line…back to her neck. His hand left her hip and slid gently along her rib cage, making her nails plunge deeply into his hair. His lips found hers again as his hand slid gently under her bra.
"More, please," she begged softly.
"Em…"
few times I've been around that track
so it's not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl
I ain't no holla back girl
He wondered what in the hell he was thinking. They'd been down this road before and it never worked for them. Still, he couldn't stop his hands…his lips…he couldn't stop his heart from feeling for her. His fingers were massaging her breast softly. He felt her body arching to him. This was crazy…bananas…totally fucked up! Still…his other hand slid to her inner thigh…up…up…and he was gently rubbing her through her thin little panties.
Tears slid down her cheeks. She ground against his hand. "More…p-please!" she cried out against his lips.
He gently eased her panties aside, knowing this was fucked up. As his finger slid against her clitoris, moving in gentle circular motions, he knew he was fucking up his whole entire world, but it didn't matter. She was bucking her hips against him, crying out, begging for more…he said a silent 'I'm sorry, Ellie…we need this.'
As his finger slid inside of her…out of her…into her…their worlds came crashing into one big fucked up mess again. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but giving each other what they needed to get through the night.
ooh, this my shit , this my shit
lyrics for "Holla' Back Girl" by Gwen Stefani
