AN: So yes, I am continuing this (give a special thanks to springbreakers for being my final push). However, updates will be sporadic: freshman engineering student here, people. I'll try, really, really hard, to update every Saturday or Sunday, and expect a bunch during breaks.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own this series. Duh.

Chapter 2

I awoke groggily the next morning, vision blurred by congealed tears and mind struggling to recall how I had returned to the couch. Chris's arms were no longer around me, and as I blinked hard in an attempt to improve my sight, I failed to see him.

"You're awake."

My head spun toward the sound of Chiron's voice. He approached, a glass in his hand. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. Fine." I was staring past him, still searching for my boyfriend. "Just fine."

Years of dealing with teenagers must have led to hyper-awareness because he murmured gently, "Chris had to get to his schedule. He didn't want to wake you, but he did leave a note. It's on the table. But before that..." He handed the glass to me. "Nectar. To help with the cramps."

"Will it stop the bleeding?"

A small sigh, one that somehow contained so much sadness. "I'm afraid, my dear, that will sort itself out on its own."

"Of course it will," I grumbled in annoyance, taking a sip. What usually tasted of Devil Food Cake was now chalk on my tongue. "Can I go back to my schedule, too? Please, Chiron, I can't just stay here. I'll go crazy."

"Clarisse, you need time to heal."

"I'm fine. Seriously."

"No. You are to stay here until the end of the week. That is an order."

"But-"

"An order."

"So what, you can order me back to my schedule when Chris is on his deathbed but keep me locked up in here like a fricking invalid because my body's spitting out bloody clumps? Whoa, that makes so much sense."

Another sigh, as though I hadn't just bitten his head off. Gods, I wished he would get mad at me; that had to be so much better than this sympathy, the way he looked at me as though I was weak and fragile and about to shatter. I was a daughter of Ares, cabin leader, the Drakon Slayer, and I did not need anyone's pity.

"I'm fine," I muttered. "I'm just fine, alright?"

"Be that as it may, I want you to rest. You need to rest. One week, that's all."

"Whatever."

A few moments of silence, broken by him saying, "Chris will return between his classes. If you need anything, come get me."

"Oh, my bed rest is lifted for that? How generous."

He didn't even try to respond to that one.

Once he was gone, I reached for the note, the lined piece of paper folded over and over and over.

Clarisse,

I wanted to say goodbye this morning, but you seemed really peaceful, and I figured you deserved to sleep in. I hope you're feeling better today and aren't too angry that you're stuck at the Big House. Mark knows how to lead your cabin, so don't worry about that. Just focus on being okay.

Love,

Chris

I tried to smile. It hurt too much.

Tucking the note in my pocket, I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at the wall, wondering what I was supposed to do for the rest of the day and the whole gods-damned week.

"Clarisse?"

"Why are you here?" I demanded of Mark, standing in the doorway. "You're second-in-command!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he replied, voice neutral. We were only three months apart in age and comparable in strength and weaponry, so our relationship was one of constant back-and-forth banter and rough-housing. He normally would have shot some sort of combat my way. This quiet response was something I wasn't expecting, something I didn't want.

"You want to answer my question? You have a cabin to lead!"

"They're at wrestling. You think they need my supervision right now?" Shifting uncomfortably, he continued, "I came to check on you. Yesterday...yesterday was weird. I never saw you like that before. What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Bull. If it was nothing, you wouldn't have called Chiron, you wouldn't be here, and Chris wouldn't be walking around camp in a fricking daze. So don't treat me like I'm stupid, Clarisse. I'm your brother, and if something's wrong, I have a right to know."

I snorted and kicked my legs up onto the table.

"Two can play at this game." Mark dropped beside me and mimicked my movements. "And it's really a shame, you know, that we'll be changing classes soon and no one's going to be there to keep Cabin Five in order. I would've left Sherman in charge, but I thought I'd be back right away. Now, seems I'm gonna be here for a while. We already get enough crap from the others, you think we'd want to at least walk together like an organized group, not like, what did Drew call us again? Gutter rats?"

My fingers clenched into a fist. He knew how to hit me where it hurt.

"You really want to know? I miscarried."

Silence. Not something associated with my siblings.

"You...you what?"

"Miscarried," I repeated.

"Oh." His hand lingered above my shoulder before coming down awkwardly. I flinched at the contact and pulled away. "I...Clarisse...I'm sorry. You and Chris were trying?"

"Yeah, we totally wanted to be parents at twenty-years-old. Yup, life goal right there." I rolled my eyes. "Of course we weren't trying. Gods, Mark, you're so dense. It was a mistake."

And maybe that's why you lost him because you just called your baby a mistake.

"Are...are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'll be bleeding for a week, which is why I need to stay here. Chiron thinks I'm going to die or something, I don't even know."

"I didn't mean that way." He was speaking in as close to a whisper as he could manage. "I meant...like...okay okay. Psychologically."

"I'm fine," I insisted. "Now go do the one job I left you with."

"Clarisse-"

"Go. Or I'll kick your ass the second I'm back."

Reluctantly, he obeyed. Back in the doorway, he asked, "Should I tell the cabin? They're worried."

I thought that over. "Yeah. Tell them." More forcefully, I added, "Handle the situation."

And from the slow nod he gave me, I knew he understood. Because there was no way, no way in Hades, I could handle trying to talk to them.

With him gone, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to keep myself controlled. The sound of footsteps snapped me to reality, and I barked, "Damn it, Mark, I said go back to the cabin!"

"Uh, Clarisse?"

Definitely not Mark.

"What do you want, Prissy?" I turned my best glare his way. Today was not a day I wanted company.

"I came to check on you. I was worried."

"Well, I'm alive and kicking. And why are you worried about me? After I creamed you yesterday, I'd figured you'd still be nursing your wounds."

"I bounce back pretty well." He leaned down and lifted up the leg of his pants. A cut glazed with blood was on his shin. "But your little terrors were not pleased that I was your replacement. Maggie did this. With a knife. I don't even know where she got a knife!"

"Wow, Jackson, now you're getting beat up by seven-year-olds. I thought you couldn't sink any lower."

"I don't know what you did, but they only listen to you. No one would put on their armor, Kevin knocked the sword rack over, and when I told them to calm down, they laughed. Looked at me and laughed."

"You should me used to that by now."

He scowled. I smirked in response.

"Okay, well, anyway, I went to get Annabeth-"

"That's embarrassing."

"They didn't listen to her, either! Not even Christine, and she's a daughter of Athena."

"I'll be sure to remind Princess of that later."

"Seriously, Clarisse, those kids love you."

I suddenly felt cold, and my throat started burning, and this story wasn't nearly as entertaining anymore. "No they don't."

"Yeah, they do. All they kept saying was that they wanted you back."

"'Cause you suck at being a teacher."

"No. Because you get them. And admit it, you really do like them."

I swallowed hard, but the pain wouldn't stop. Snarky responses died in their embryonic stages.

"Clarisse? Clarisse, are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it."

"It's fine," I grumbled. "Really. So what else happened?"

"Chiron had to wrangle them. Most of them. Maggie took off...after she kicked him."

"She kicked him?"

"Yeah. It didn't hurt him, I don't think. But it definitely shocked him."

"Dad better claim her soon."

"You think she's one of yours?"

"Please. You think she fits anywhere else?"

"No, not really." He finally sat down, claiming the arm of the couch. "They want to see you."

"What?"

"Your students. They want to see you."

"Did you take a poll?"

"Actually, yeah. Well, not me. The kids did. After we got them to stop, you know, freaking out. Andrew was like, 'I want Clarisse!' and then everyone started saying the same thing." A thoughtful look was sent my way; I became fascinated with red smudges beneath my nails. "Would it be okay if they came to visit?"

"You think you could handle bringing them?"

"They'll behave if they know they're coming for you. It would be right after dinner." He titled his head. "So would you be okay with that?"

"Yeah, sure. That would be fine."

"Alright." Standing, he made a move to leave but paused. "Really, Clarisse, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I growled. "Jeez, a little blood and everyone loses their gods-damned minds."

Hands raised in a show of innocence, he continued his retreat. "Okay, okay, sorry. I'll see you later."

I lay down and covered my face with a pillow. "People avoid me like the plague when I'm healthy but when I'm sick, I have a fricking entourage," I muttered to myself.

Sleep hadn't been part of the plan, but it came anyway. My students were around me, talking and shouting and trying to jump on me, and I was trying to be strict but it was hard because they seemed so happy to see me and then they were deteriorating, flesh dripping off their bones and forming a puddle at me feet and they were screaming and I was screaming but there was nothing I could do, nothing at all, I was helpless and I hated being helpless but I was and everything was out of my control and...

"Clarisse! Clarisse, get up!"

I sat straight up, my heart drumming so hard that my chest actually ached. Chris was staring at me, hands clinging to my wrists like he was afraid he would lose me. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything is fine."

"You were screaming. That is not fine. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I repeated, twisting within his grasp. "It was just a nightmare."

"About what?"

"Nothing."

"C'mon, Clarisse, you can talk to me. Please."

"If there was anything to talk about, I would."

He cupped my chin gently, thumb brushing away a renegade tear. "Tell me," he whispered, kissing my forehead. "Please, Reese, I want to help you."

"There's nothing you can do. I'm fine. Everything is just fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine."

Because I was too strong to be acting this way and because I had worked too hard to rise to the ranks of cabin leader and because I had no right to be upset when I hadn't even planned on being a mother and because I knew that no amount of crying or dwelling or bargaining would bring back my child.

"This wasn't your fault," he murmured into my hair. "None of this was your fault. You can't do this to yourself."

"I'm not doing anything to myself! It was a fricking nightmare, that's all! And do you really think I still care about having a miscarriage? Because I don't. I have too much going on right now to be bothered with a kid. They're just, just little screaming breakable blobs who keep you awake all night." My voice hitched. "And they smell, and throw up, and crap on everything, and, and..."

Grow up to call you Mom and say I love you and follow in your footsteps and look up to you and give you hugs even though you don't deserves them.

"You can feel sad, Clarisse." He was crushing me to his chest. "You're allowed to feel sad about this. You lost a baby."

"I'm a warrior. Warriors don't act like this."

"But you're also human."

I just shook my head, barely registering the circles he was rubbing on my back, hating myself for acting this way and for thinking these thoughts and for agreeing to let my students come when I couldn't even bear the idea of facing them.