Afterlife

Author Notes: Hoho! I've got reviews. That's so fab, people. Thank you! I've got lots of shit going on this week, so writing this chappie was done ten minutes at time. Hope you don't notice this too much. Heheeeh... Oh, and I forgot mentioning this the last time, Naruto and the people are about… seventeen years. Naruto's so immature for his age.

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own "Naruto". Duh.

Warning: Still there be some swearing, and still there be some weird-ass English, and still there be boyxboy. Yoho, and a bottle of rum.

Chapter two: The marvellous plan

(Soundtrack: I've got the power!)

Some times I am to smart for myself. I mean, honestly. A guy at my age shouldn't be able to come up with what I came up with. I don't think most of the guys I know would, actually. It's just me. Gods, I'm smart. I don't even think Sasuke could have done it. I've told him too, but then he always says: "I would have thought, you idiot." I don't really understand what he means by that, but I always call him a bastard anyway, 'cause I pick up the "I'm-so-much-better-than-you"-wibes. Not that they're really hard to pick up. Every time he smirks, there's one of two things he thinks about. The first one is that he's better than me, the second one is… a secret. Yeah. Forget I said anything about that.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To kill yourself is a hard decision to make, it really is. To pretend to kill yourself so you'll see how people react really is a hard decision to make. Or, the decision itself wasn't so hard. It was more pulling it trough. How do you convince a whole village you're dead? When many of them are really cool and skilful ninjas? Long enough for them to keep a funeral? Well, I really don't flatter myself all that much, but I got to say, I'm a goddamned genius. Really. I mean, how smart can one get? Apparently, really smart.

If you haven't got what the fuck I'm talking about, let me tell you. Earlier, at the same day as I so marvellously planned the scheme of a lifetime, people treated me like shit. To put it simply. And I thought: "Fuck, they wouldn't care if I died!" And then I thought: "Maybe they'll be really sorry if I did die." And then I thought: "Why don't I just simply check it out? Why don't I see how my so-called friends and family would react if I died? Or better, killed myself because they treated me bad?"

So that's were we were gotten. I was sitting on my floor, thinking about how to do it. I didn't want to die, no chance in hell if I did (or do, oh no, I'm gonna live forever!), so that option was one hundred percent out of the question. But I still had my head fixed on the thought of seeing how people would react if their big main annoyance just simply… died. I get like that sometimes. Fixed on certain things. And when I do, there's no way turning me around. But I think it's good, you know? I like it. At least I go through with things.

I am, as earlier mentioned, pretty smart, and it didn't take me too long time to understand that I'd have to have a replica for me. Some sort of doll, but one looking exactly like me. A clone, of some sorts. Now, to tell you the truth, I actually can make clones, and they do look exactly like me. It's really cool, and none of the guys at my age can do the same. It's just me. You know, I really am a genius. The only problem with my clones is that they disappear at the moment they get hurt badly or die. And I needed a clone that wouldn't die. So what do I do?

Well, you probably have this figured out too, just like I did, 'cause it's not all that hard to come up with. I just had to make the clones not disappear. It seems easy. It really does. But I swear to you, it's not. The idea is, but to pull it off… That was work. I'm a hard worker, even though it might doesn't seem so, and I've had some rough nights before. But this time it was much worse. I didn't only have to push myself physically, I had to think too. And even though we have pretty much established that I'm smart, we have also established that I'm not to keen on thinking all the time. I'm not used to it. And that's what made the night really difficult.

To make a killable clone, you have to think. It's not just to make a clone and hope he'll die like any other human. Nope. It's not. Half of the night I sat thinking about what would work, and half of the night I tried everything out. My head hurt so much at the end of the night.

I'm not going to tell you all of the failures of the night, it would both take way to long time and be a bit embarrassing, and so I'll just skip to the success. 'Cause of course, there was success. I don't stop 'till I get success. It's the "fixed-on-certain-things"-stuff, remember? Anyway, this is what I did: I made loads of clones, like, let's say thirty, and then I sort of smashed them together. Yeah. Into one clone. Don't ask me exactly how, 'cause fuck if I know, but I did. And I only managed to do it one time.

It was pretty nasty, trying to kill someone who looks and acts exactly like me. Most of the clones that night (actually, all but one) just poofed away in some smoke (like Kakashi does all the time) when I went all crazy on them, but the one who didn't… It was nasty. Really. It felt a bit like killing myself. I was lucky with the way I killed my clone, though. It did really look a suicidal. I slit his wrists. With a kunai. It bled like hell, and I saw something in his eyes I haven't seen in any of my clone's eyes before. I saw pain. I could see it hurt him. And that hurt me.

And then he was dead. He fell on the floor and was dead, and I thought: "Wow. I just killed myself." It was a weird thought, and I think I would have thought it was weirder if it wasn't for the fact that my plan had succeed. 'Cause the moment after I was done thinking about how weird it was, I only thought: "This'll show them, this'll show them, this'll show them!" all over again and again. It was kind of fun, really. Though I don't think I'm a typical party-pooper, I can have fun in no time.

I had to write a suicide letter. I knew that much. Or else they might've thought I got killed (honestly, there are soooo many people who hates me, about every villager would want to kill me), and that would be no fun. They were supposed to think I killed myself because of them, you know. So I wrote, and this is how it turned out:

Dear everyone.

I've had it. The world doesn't want me anymore. Or, the world has never wanted me, but now it's worse. Now you don't want me anymore. Dear Iruka. I am so sorry for what I said. I lied about most of it. I spoiled everything. You were the last person I trusted in, and now I can't anymore. I'm sorry. Dear Tsunade. I'm sorry you are too damned important to talk to me. You have very good guards. They get the message across. Dear Ino. Well, I'm not standing in the way for the real people anymore, am I? Dear Shikamaru. Hope you won't find this too troublesome. Dear Sakura, I've done what you told me to do. I hope you're happy. Dear Kakashi. I couldn't do better. I'm so sorry. (Please don't be late for my funeral) Dear old stupid lady I met at my stairs. You suck. And that's about it of people I blame for my last days of misery. I'd like it if I get buried with some ramen, but I can't really expect you to put up with my wishes, since I'm a monster and an idiot and all that.

Naruto.

Ps: Sasuke, you're a bastard.

And that was that. Too be quite honest, I think it turned out pretty good. Really, I do. And though I didn't know right then why, I couldn't make myself blame Sasuke in one second. Not on the paper, and not in the real life. I thought about it a bit then, and to be honest, he hadn't really said or done anything he hadn't any other day, except the scaring-Sakura-part. Of course, I was a bit wrong, but not much. I didn't really care that he called me an idiot anymore. Or a loser. Or a moron. The list is long, but the point is, I didn't really care anymore. He could call me what he wanted.

… Oh! That sounded wrong! Ouch. Uhm, what I meant was he could insult me and I wouldn't care. Shit, if Sasuke reads this, I'm so dead. Or, not really dead, but… He would… do some stuff to me. Uhm. Forget it. Sasuke shouldn't read this. Period. But then again, why would he? Getting distracted again.

I sat there, now on my way to small bed (which was really all the couch I had), looking at my letter, and smiling to myself. I thought the end of it was good. Even though I didn't blame Sasuke for anything, it was cool to call him a bastard at the end. Really cool. And then, bam! all of a sudden, I realized that I had to be somewhere too. And where the fuck would that be? I mean, I did want to see how people reacted, so going away would be stupid. The only real possibility was to go all invisible. And I had about three hours until I had to meet at the bridge, and I thought pretty cleverly that someone would check out why I wasn't there. Three hours to find a solution to how to be invisible is far too little.

Again, I had to use my genius-skills. I didn't really make myself invisible, that would be way to hard, I did something cooler. I don't know if I've told you, but I can make frogs appear, just like that. I did so, and, again, don't ask me how, sort of put my mind and control and thoughts into the frog. It doesn't sound all that easy, but it was easier than killing "me". I don't know how I did it, but there I was, on the ground, as a frog. I remember thinking: "Shit! Frogs don't eat ramen! What do I do, what do I do?" Then, of course, I calmed myself down (I am extremely good with situations like that, always calm and stuff), and thought: "I've succeed. I rock. I can't wait to see their faces. Hoho!"

And then I waited for someone to come and find the suicide letter and the dead me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yeah, I know, it's a bit short, but hey. It's not super-good, but it's all right. Keep on reviewing! XD