Many thanks to all those who've encouraged me to continue.
Disclaimer: don't own.
This was a new feeling, at once intoxicating and terrible. Trina was no longer the master of her own movements – it was as if dozens of invisible hands were snatching at her, pulling her toward the razor blade on the bathroom counter.
Now that she was faced with the moment of decision, firecrackers of argument exploded in her head once again. Do it. Don't do it. Cut. Back away. Hurt, bleed, hurt, HURT…
Desperate to stop the shouting within her, she seized the razor and drew it in a straight line across her left wrist. There was a moment of unspeakable pain, but it swiftly subsided to a dull, almost unnoticeable ache as bright rivulets of blood ran down her forearm. Convinced now that she was doing the right thing – the only thing she could do – she slashed her right wrist in turn, then lay down in the bathtub and closed her eyes.
So nice. So quiet. No more shouting, at long last. And now they'll all love me, and cry for me, and miss me. Even Jade. And she's already got plenty of black to wear to my funeral…
"Thanks for coming up with me, 'Dré."
"Hey, no problem. What do you think's going on with your sister?"
Oh, no. Not more voices. Wait…those voices aren't in my head – they're outside the bathroom door. Who…oh, forget it…
"I just have this…feeling. I can't put my finger on it, but something about the way she was acting seemed…AAH! NO!"
Oh, God. I've never heard a scream that loud before in my life. Gotta be Tori. And people say I'm a drama queen…
"Hurry! Call 911!"
911? Is somebody in trouble? Oh, I guess she means me. But I'm doing fine – really, I am. Just need to get some sleep…
"Stay with me, Trina! God dammit, don't you leave me!"
No, stop trying to bandage me up. Just let me be!
But the blood loss had drained Trina's strength, and her intended protest came out only as a guttural moan.
Tori worked, her anguished tears stinging her eyes and blurring her vision, her sister's blood soaking her fumbling hands. André came bursting in. "The paramedics are on their way, and the dispatcher said she'd get in touch with your dad's patrol car."
Trina had begun to shiver uncontrollably. "She's going into shock," cried Tori. "Get something to warm her up." Sprinting out of the little bathroom once more, André returned momentarily with a quilt and wrapped it around Trina's shuddering form, which suddenly seemed to him terribly small and fragile. Together, he and Tori held Trina close, silently willing their own body heat to be extended to her.
As her blood loss lessened and her internal temperature rose, Trina finally managed words: "Lemme…lemme go…"
"Never. Do you hear me? That's never going to happen!" Tori hugged her fiercely.
And as she felt her sister's love wash over her, clarity returned to Trina's whirling brain. Merciful God, what have I done? I was going to go away and leave my little sister all alone…The thought sank in, and Trina began to sob, so violently that her entire body shook. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please don't hate me! Please!" She wailed like a wounded animal.
Looking down at her elder sister's tear-streaked face, Tori could only think of the lullaby that their paternal grandmother had often sung to her and Trina when they were little and unable to sleep. Not even realizing what she was doing, she began, softly, to sing it herself:
A las puertas del cielo
Venden zapatos
Para los angelitos
Que andan descalzos
Duérmete niña
Duérmete niña
Duérmete niña
Arrύ arrύ
At the gates of Heaven,
They sell shoes
For the little angels
Who go barefoot.
Sleep, little baby,
Sleep, little baby,
Sleep, little baby,
Lullaby, lullaby…
Though he knew only a few words of Spanish, André quickly caught the simple tune and began to hum a harmony. Trina relaxed visibly; her contorted face softened, and her agonized sobs died away.
They kept singing until their throats were sore. In the distance, after what seemed an eternity, sirens approached. One was an ambulance; the other, a police car, would surely be Tori and Trina's father. God, how distraught he must be right now, Tori thought as she stroked her sister's hair.
It wasn't until she heard heavy steps coming up the stairs that she realized she'd left the front door wide open. Two paramedics entered and, with a gentleness born of years of practice, lifted Trina between them onto a stretcher.
The elder Vega whispered something. Tori bent low to hear it.
"Tell everyone…tell everyone I'm sorry…"
Fresh tears in her eyes, Tori kissed Trina's forehead.
"We're going to get you help, hermana. I swear to God."
