2

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A silent room. I sit in a chair in the middle of it; dark, looming walls rise up around me. I see a man— no, two— seated above me. They are staring at me. Trying to read my soul.

My eyes fall to the floor. I sit in silence and wait. I know which fate will befall me.

Suddenly a booming voice calls out to me, echoing across the barren room. "Clifford Pruett, are you aware of what you have done?"

I shift in my seat. "I... I... well, yes, but I didn't mean to... it was an accid—"

"SILENCE!" he yells. I stop my protests. "The point is, here, that you have done it. You are responsible. You have caused—"

"NO!" I yelled, unable to keep my silence any longer. "I didn't mean to! You have to believe me! I would never—"

A blow to the back of my head. I see my vision fading... I feel myself falling... my mouth is still screaming... I didn't mean to...

I sit up in bed. Sweat runs down my forehead, my hands are trembling. I hear someone coming up the stairs and lay back down as quickly as I can, wiping my face.

Soon after I see the dim light of a candle, and a girl in a nightgown enter my room.

"Cliff?" she whispers, holding up the candle so she can see me. "Are you okay? I heard you—"

"Yes." I interrupt. "Sorry. I am fine." I know this is lie. Yet I cannot tell her about my dream.

"Are you sure?" she asks, coming to my bedside and looking down at me. I could see her now, in the glow of the candlelight. Her red hair was not braided, as it commonly was, but cascading down past her shoulders. She was beautiful, and the only person I liked in this village. But I was unworthy of her.

I averted my eyes. "Yes." I said. "Good night." She leaves.

I hear her footsteps traveling back down the stairs. What could she have heard? I wonder. I roll over in bed. I try to forget about my dream.

--.--.--.--.--.--.--

It is two days later, and I am sitting in an empty pew again. I stare at the ground, empty of emotion and thought.

Carter suddenly speaks from his desk.

"I have to go out." he says, picking up his coat. "Sorry, but you'll have to—"

"It's okay." I say, getting up from the pew. "I'll go."

I hear him exhale and look hopelessly at me. I know he cannot read me. No one can.

I travel outside, walking shiftlessly back toward the inn. It is a bright, lovely day. A slight breeze travels through the streets. But I take no notice.

I see two children playing in the fallen leaves. It is autumn, and everyone is about. I watch the two kids, piling them up and then taking turns jumping into them. Laughing. I remember a time when I used to do that. But that was very long ago.

I see others out in their yards, enjoying the weather. I walk past them, keeping my eyes focused on the ground. They don't notice me.

Except for one. As I approach the inn, I see her, sweeping the leaves from the walkway. She looks up as I get near.

"Hello, Cliff!" she says. She is always cheerful.

"Ann." I nod in reply. Though I do not meet her eyes.

"Were you just at the church?" she asks. I nod again. She smiles. "You must be very religious, to be there so often."

At this I shake my head. "No." I say. "Not religious, really."

She is puzzled. "No? But why would you be there so often, then... if you are not a religious man?" I think about this.

"I don't know," I reply. "It's quiet there, I guess."

I can tell she doesn't buy it, but she doesn't question me further.

"You know," she says, putting down her broom and leaning against the wooden fence, "No one really goes to church these days. Apart from the music festival, and from May and Stu, you're probably the only one who keeps Carter company."

"I'm not too great of company." I say.

"Hmmm," she says.

"Why is there a church?" I ask after a moment of silence, unable to help myself. "When no one here is religious?" The question has been tearing at me for days.

"Oh, well..." she answers, thinking about this. "Some people say it's for the Harvest Goddess, who lives up on Mother's Hill." She points in the direction of the hill. "But me, well, I think it's just out of the necessity to have a church. To marry people in, to hold funerals... you know."

I nod. She continues.

"I kind of feel bad though, I mean, for Carter. He writes sermons and things, but no one shows up to hear them." She frowns a little, sympathy showing in her blue eyes. "I wonder what he does with them all."

I don't reply. I had never thought of this. But little could I find myself caring. I look back toward the ground.

"I think I'll get inside." I say, stepping past Ann, who finally realizes what she was doing before and grabs her broom again.

"Oh, yeah." she says, her eyes coming back to reality. "Grab some lunch, will ya?" She asks before I enter. "Tell my dad it's on me. You look starved."

"Thanks," I say, though I really do not intend on taking her up on her offer. I go inside.

There are many of the villagers eating in the inn today. They chat happily with one another. I have lived here for almost three years and still do not get more than a courteous "hello" from them as I pass. I do not know them. They do not know me. We are strangers.

I go up to my room, opening and closing the door very quietly, as if I will disturb someone if I close it too loudly. My room is bare, but clean. Ann must have tidied it up while I was gone.

I sit on my bed. I have nothing to do. I know I cannot live here much longer... my money is running out. The innkeeper, Doug, has always given me a discount, sometimes allowing me to sleep here for free, but I know I cannot take advantage of him forever. I must find work or leave the town. But I do not want to make that decision just yet.

Will I ever find solace in this place? I wonder. Somehow, I know will. Perhaps I already have.

But I still need forgiveness. I need acceptance. I need to leave my past behind me, once and for all.

And how I will manage that, I do not know.

--.--.--.--.--.--.--

AN: Aye aye aye, sorry it took me so long to get this started. Please review... critique it, suggest something... whatever. I'm having some thoughts about not continuing it... but I think I will, anyway. Though probably after I finish my other story. So yeah, let's see where this goes. —JW