Staring at the faded yellow walls, numbness filled Clary's veins. Even in the heated walls of Amatis' house Clary felt cold. Go home Clary the words rang in her head and created a sharp pain in side. Clary laughed sadistically at herself.

"Home" she scoffed mocking the word itself. Home? what home? she thought to herself.

"I'm not one of them I don't belong here, Luke left me, my mom never going to wake up." Dry tears burned Clary's throat. She had cried enough already and now she had no more tears to spare.

She didn't have a home not anymore, maybe she never had a home at all- she didn't fit in the human world nor did she fit in with the shadow world at least not in the one in New York. Clary slowly walked up to the mirror in Amatis' spare bedroom and stared at herself in the hunting gear. She looked like her mother she thought to herself with delight. Beautiful, brave, Artistic, she paused as she admired the look "And a shadow hunter" she sighed "Nothing I ever be"

She quickly drew the gear off and put on a pleaded skirt and a navy blue knit sweater- which had been left for her folded neatly on the bed. Clary stared at herself with a longing to touch that world again, the world where she was brave, the world where she did save the shadow hunters from the boat, the one where Jace didn't hate her, the one where Simon wasn't a Vampire, the one where her mom was okay, the one where she had a family.

Her eyes filled with an emotionless fire as she left the envelope in her hand on the table by the bedside.

.o.O.o.

Staring at the dark blue walls of the library, numbness filled Jace's veins. After Clary had left Alec and Isabelle had kept their silence leaving him alone. Alec at first tried to comfort him as if that was what he needed.

"It's not your fault she came Jace- she broke the law not you. Don't worry jac-"

"Shut up Alec!" Jace had shouted at him with murderous rage-rage that was not in cause of neither Alec nor Clary but at himself.

Staring at the blank wall Jace swayed on his feet as a wave of nausea washed over him. How he was sickened with himself how he could let Clary think she was unwanted, how could he make her feel so small, how he hated that he told her she was anything but amazing. The look on her face was haunting him. Jace hadn't realized but he had begun to pace involuntarily. Soon he came to realization he was self-consciousness doing it to keep himself from following his sister. He could here Isabelle and Alec bickering downstairs.

"Alec I think we should go check on her. You were there did you not hear what Jace said to her she looked broken"

"She be fine" Alec waved off Isabelle concern "Clary strong I doubt she'd let Jace words get to her"

"Alec but you know as well as I do how close they are he complete destroyed her. What if she doesn't something rash" Izzy said in a hushed tone.

"You mean?" Alec asked shocked at the situation with a new light.

"yeah Alec- this is Clary we talking about" her voice cried with concern " her emotions rule her life"

"She would she knows better than that the clave states-"

"Alec she was raised a Mundie- death is the answer to everything for them!" Isabelle yelled in a whisper. Jace felt the color drain from his face and fear drip forms his forehead.

Pacing wasn't doing him good, Jace winced as he quickly grabbed his leather jacket off the floor where Aline had taken it off. He hurried down stairs before he convince himself not to.

"Jace, where are you headed?" Alec asked concerned as he rushed down the stairs.

Jace easily waved him off "on a walk" he called back to him as he tightly shut the door behind himself secretly wishing Alec would follow him. That way he would force himself to control his urges around clary.

The cold air of Alicante felt good against his damp skin. At first Jace was headed toward the Herondale house but he forced himself to get lost within the streets thinking everything through but Jace kept finding himself on the front steps of Herondale house but was too much of an coward to even knock on the door. What she didn't want him. What if Clary had something rash? No he told himself I can never think like that.

He raised his hand to door and knock twice quietly. Oh c'mon Jace Lightwood grow up and knock he thought to himself. His knocked was more audible this time but the butterflies in his stomach fluttered heavily. He heard fast paced footsteps on the other side of the door as a exasperated voice spoke " For the love of the angel clary I thought you-" the elderly woman's sentence cut off as she open the door and saw Jace. "You are not clary" she stated simply as she stared at him.

"No, I actually came to see her, she dropped by earlier but she didn't leaved on the best of terms" he explained uncomfortable.

"You must be her bother Jace?" her tone dropped. She was still staring at him with curious eyes but her eyebrows have adducted creating an angry crease between her eyebrows. She step aside indicating Jace to come in. "I'm Amatis, I think you should come on in and have a seat"

Thanks for reading cuties I have a couple of chapter prewritten and I love to get some reviews for some new ideas ;*

XOXOXOX ClaryH