"Your cream tastes so good… kaichou…"
He whispered seductively in my ear with his lips barely touching the outer shell of my ear.
"Then, see you tomorrow… kaichou…"
And with that sentence, he stood up and left me all alone, hanging there dumbfounded.
Dumbfounded, confused, agitated, irritated, uncomfortable, and unsatisfied.
He left me unsatisfied.
Wait.
Wait a minute.
What?
What just happened?
I was too up high in the clouds that I forgot how it would feel to fall straight into the cold-hearted ground.
And that's what exactly happened. From floating peacefully through the clear blue sky and fluffy white clouds, I suddenly found myself crashing violently to the dark, cold, unrelenting, and unfeeling ground.
"!"
Y-Yukimura just… just…
He just fingered me!
What?
Why?
How?
How did this happen?
We were just sitting here in the student council room.
I was just finishing some papers.
Yukimura was just helping me.
We were just talking about ordinary things.
We were just taking about his upcoming graduation.
Yukimura was just helping me.
… He did help me.
This was what happened earlier.
I was sitting at my usual desk on the student council room. Yukimura was sitting on the adjacent desk beside me and helping me sort through the papers with a happy smile on his face. The contours of his body being silhouetted by the crimson dawn.
The perfect sky plus the perfect build equals the perfect view.
Somehow, that made him more attractive than usual.
Even though it's after school already, he's still wearing his uniform properly. My sight instantly went to his slender neck. Admiring the intertwining of light and shadow its curves make. Traveling down, I can almost see his collarbones showing through his crisp white shirt and his gray vest desperately stretching themselves in a vain attempt to completely cover his broad shoulders. My gaze wandered to his bulky arms illuminated clearly against the light. I traced back and began scrutinizing his body. Too bad. No matter how much the light outlines his physique, his vest is taking all the glory for itself. Selfish vest. Hugging him so tightly everyday all to yourself…
Am I seriously envying a piece of uniform?
What is wrong with me?
Still, this guy is seriously making me hungry.
I want to eat him.
Ugh.
Where did the 'Cute Yukimura' go?
Sure, as long as he wears that childish expression on his face, he still has the aura of 'innocence' lingering all around him. But, his face matured and looked more cool than cute nowadays. When you see him, no doubt anyone would think that he has turned out to be a one fine man.
I looked at the face of the man currently in question and was surprised at how intently his gaze was at me. His eyes were piercing me to the spot. The cute bunny a while ago was gone and was replaced by a wild rabbit about to look for his next debauchery. There was this distinct look in his eyes as if he was contemplating me to be his upcoming prey. The atmosphere inside the room immediately went from laid-back to intense in a matter of a few seconds. Based by the look in his eyes, it seems that he had caught me gawking at him. But he's not blushing or embarrassed or any other reactions that the 'Cute Yukimura' would make.
If anything, he was actually daring me to look at him.
His eyes are telling me to look all I want.
To look until I'm satisfied.
But that's just the thing.
I cannot be satisfied with just looking.
I wanted more.
But I knew that if I had a taste of more…
I woudn't stop.
I gulped and had to squeeze my legs together as I was feeling pretty hot down there. It took me a few awkward seconds to recover myself. I had to say something quick.
"Yukimura, you're graduating in two days already."
He was still studying me. He took his time to get out of his reverie. As if he was telling me that he would let me off the hook. For now.
He blinked and returned to the normal 'Cute Yukimura' with flowers floating around him. He showed his usual smile at me.
"Time sure passes quickly, huh?"
"You talk like an old man, Yukimura."
"At least, I'm older than you. I had my birthday last February so that makes me 19 already this year."
His birthday?
He really had to remind me of his birthday. He just purposely wanted to mention that day. He said it outright without staggering and smoothly laid it all out in the open
As if he didn't know what happened during his birthday.
Or rather,
It's as if we didn't know what happened after his birthday.
But that's a story for another time.
I shifted uncomfortably under his intense scrutiny. Is it just me or is he enjoying my reactions?
Nope. No way. That's not Yukimura's personality.
"…"
At least, that's not 'cute' Yukimura's personality.
I don't even know anymore.
But, that thing did happen after his birthday. But he also just brushed it off.
Yukimura.
I just can't figure you out.
"…"
I can't figure us out.
Throughout the months, we've been becoming closer but sometimes I feel that we're too close. But maybe it's just me making all these assumptions. There are times when the air between us abruptly falls into an intense atmosphere thus, the silence stretches uncomfortably long that I had to break the tension between us. I would immediately bring up a topic and he would respond in his typical ways. Recently, it's happening a lot more. But, it's also maybe just me coming up to conclusions…
I already acknowledged that I am in love with him but what I didn't anticipate was how much I was going to be physically attracted to him. Back then, he was so cute like a little puppy. I always wanted to just go and give him a nice loving hug. I wanted to squeeze him tightly just because of how adorable he is. I knew that I liked him but I didn't realize that I was in love with him. I was used to looking at him as my little brother. Someone to take care of, someone to look after to, someone who needed guidance. I knew he was changing, maturing. I was subconsciously denying my ever growing feelings for him.
But now, everything is different.
It all happened during his birthday.
That was the day when I finally realized it all.
The true depth of my feelings.
My uncomfortable wariness of him.
That was the day when I fully understood why I was always uneasy when I'm with him.
I was always edgy and restless whenever accidentally his skin softly brushes against mine.
I'm always intoxicated with just a whiff of his scent.
The fragrance of chocolates and aroma of bitter coffee…
Mocha…
The perfect balance between something childish and something adult.
It's the perfect scent for Yukimura.
I've been working with sweets in Maid Café all this time but I've never been enticed by anything like it.
He made me notice that under his bubbly childlike personality…
He was and always a man.
That the person sitting beside me was not just a boy anymore.
It's a man.
That made me comprehend why I always had this urge deep inside me. I still wanted to hug him but not for the same reasons as before.
Gone with it were the innocent intentions.
Replaced were something more dangerous.
Something more primal.
Something based on instinct alone.
Something irrational.
Something that isn't me.
And, that is…
Desire.
