"OI! Leggo o'me—"

"Sir, you're making a grave error—"

"—D'you know who I am?"

"—I am a criminal analyst—"

"—A detective—"

"—My father is probably your boss—"

"—My dad's Chief inspector Hattori—"

"—Yes, District General Hakuba—"

"Yeah, okay, blondie," said the police officer stiff-arming an outraged-looking teenage boy down the cell ward. "We get stories a lot more creative than that every day—"

"—All right, now see here—hey—Shut up, you Osakan…OW!" roared a second officer, who was physically dragging another teenager, this one dark-skinned and with black hair, down the cell ward from the opposite doorway.

"But you don't—" howled the struggling Osakan boy as his officer managed to box his ears and pull out his key ring at the same time.

"—a misunderstanding—" the blonde boy was insisting, an expression of shock and dread dawning on his face as the cell door swung open.

"—I'm a detective!"

The two officers shoved their teenage charges into the cell with rather more than the necessary gusto. The blonde stumbled on the hem of his long overcoat, looking as though he couldn't believe the officers had really followed through on their threats, but managed to right himself. The dark boy, however, tripped over his own large feet and crashed face-first to the cement cell floor.

"AHOU!" he cried, incensed, bounding to his feet and lunging at the officers. "Let me out—"

The officers, wearing expressions which suggested unprofessional enjoyment, slammed the barred door right in his face.

"OOOWWWWW!"

The dark boy fell on his rear and skidded a few centimeters. Livid now, he seized the bars of the door and began cursing a blue streak at the retreating officers, one of whom was whistling, the other twirling the key ring around his finger.

After a few moments of colorful suggestions and one or two guesses as to the officers' maternal lineage, the dark boy either cooled off or ran out of breath. That was when he noticed the pair of tan loafers standing in the corner of the small cell.

The boy's dark green eyes traveled from the loafers to brown slacks, to an old-fashioned beige overcoat, to a white chemise buttoned right up to the chin, finally landing on a pale, long, western-looking face wearing a sneer of aloof derisiveness. This boy's eyes were honey-brown and long-lashed, but almond-shaped and Eastern, narrowed in amusement, and atop a once-neatly combed mop of blonde hair he wore a British eighteenth-century deerstalker hat tugged low.

The dark boy raised an eyebrow, sulkiness giving way to curiosity as he unconsciously massaged a bruise on his arm. "Sherlock Holmes fan?" he asked sardonically.

The blonde sniffed, raising an eyebrow as well. "Quite. Ellery Queen yourself?"

"How'd ya know?"

"You're wearing a tee-shirt that says 'West Eighty-Seventh Street' in English."

"Oh." The dark boy grinned companionably, prior rage apparently forgotten. [West Eehdy-Sevunt Street] he said proudly in Japanese-accented English.

"Not bad," said the blonde boy, a smirk playing across his thin lips. [But you mispronounced 'eighty'], he added in English.

The dark boy's scowl returned, then he grinned again abruptly. "I pronounce English with an American accent. You're British, ne?"

"Correct. And you are indubitably Osakan."

"Yup!" the dark boy said proudly. "My accent gave me away, just like yours gave you away!"

The blonde boy's eyebrows rose farther. "Actually, I knew you were Osakan before I heard you speak. It was obvious."

"Well," said the dark boy, taken aback. He managed to salvage his smile, though it appeared somewhat strained as he got to his feet and offered his hand. "My name is—"

"Hattori Heiji, high school detective of the west," said the blonde boy, smirking. "That was obvious too. Your claim that Inspector Hattori Hanzo is your father only confirmed my suspicions." He narrowed his eyes analytically. "Your reputation—or perhaps just your temper's reputation—precedes you, Hattori-kun." Only then did the blonde accept the proffered hand. "Hakuba Saguru."

"Nice ta meet ya," Heiji said dryly, squeezing Saguru's hand rather firmly. "The Kaitou Kid specialist from Britain…of course…" his grin was flinty now, his jaw set like steel. "Just come off a Kid heist, huh?"

Saguru couldn't stop a flicker of surprise from crossing his exotic eyes. "Yes, actually."

"Hm," Heiji chuckled, twisting his white baseball cap from front to back with obvious relish. "I noticed the ragged yet straight laceration in your overcoat, surely from a playin' card shot at high speeds from a gun. Your cheeks also have small bruises from where Nakamori-keibu pinched when checking for a mask, you're sweatin' but you seem like the stuffy type who'd not walk around disheveled if ya could help it, and there's a rather violently crumpled paper in your pocket, which I'd guess is a heist note."

Saguru doffed his deerstalker cap. "You joined the heist late, didn't you? Or, more like you tried to. Your jacket smells like gasoline, probably a motorbike, since you're under eighteen, aren't you, and the brim of your hat has a pink discoloration from where a capsule of the Kid's knockout gas hit you." He smiled predatorily. "I wager you crashed, judging by the burn marks on your sneakers and the singes in your hair. May I venture that your arrest was due to speeding and possibly property damage?"

Heiji's answering smile was eerily reminiscent of that of a shark. "Pretty close. But at least I didn't run onto—a private helicopter landing pad, I'm guessing? Your hair is abnormally windswept for a summer day and there are white cherry blossoms sticking to the bottoms of your loafers, which only come from the business district. The only landing pads there are private ones. Were you so focused on catching the Kaitou Kid that you forgot where you were?"

Saguru's expression turned dour. "The Kaitou Kid took off in a helicopter from that pad, for your information. A confused security guard arrested me." He changed tack in the blink of an eye. "Did your girlfriend ditch you as soon as the cops caught you? She left a long hair on your jacket."

"Kazuha is NOT my—she was riding on the back of my bike! She went to call the police—Anyway, did ya enjoy our Osakan specialty of takoyaki you ate for lunch? The handkerchief in your pocket has our special sauce on it."

"It was appalling. Octopus is not an appropriate meal for a gentleman. But tell me, how long have you been doing Kendo?"

"Fourteen years. Is someone takin' care of your hawk while you're in jail?"

"She'll come back when I call her. How'd you get that arrow-shaped scar on your hand when you obviously aren't an archer?"

"None of your business. Which o' your British relatives gave ya that watch approximately four an' a half years ago?"

Saguru's thin lips curved into a smirk. "Five and a half years. I polish it daily."

"Must be excitin', bein' you," Heiji snarled.

Both boys fell silent, Heiji slouching against one side of the cell with a sulky expression, Saguru stiff as a British guard against the opposite wall with an infuriatingly obnoxious smirk. They avoided each other's gaze.

Saguru spoke again before Heiji had properly built up steam.

"What kind of idiot gets hit with knockout gas in the middle of an open highway?"

"Excuse me?"

Saguru was either feeling reckless or unaware of the death threat inherent in Heiji's tone. "How could Kid have flown up in a helicopter and thrown a capsule of gas squarely at your head without you even trying to stop him?"

"There was no helicopter, moron!" Heiji scoffed loudly. "And I hit the police car before getting' knocked out."

Saguru's smirk grew wider. "So you crashed without even being under the influence of gas."

"I—The cop was a frickin' idiot! And anyway, what the hell was Kid doing in a helicopter in the first place? He can fly!"

Saguru frowned abruptly, thoughtfully putting his fist under his chin. "I was wondering the same thing myself." He looked up at Heiji and said crisply, "What is the last thing you can remember before you passed out?"

Heiji glared at him. "I was ridin' down the highway with Kazuha," he said reluctantly, "when all of a sudden some idiot cop merged about two centimeters in front of me. I swerved to avoid hittin' him, fell over, and skidded into the wheels of that retarded—"

One of Saguru's eyebrows flew up. "How are you alive?"

"What're you talking about?" Heiji snapped.

"Isn't a squadcar rather larger than a motorcycle? How were you not crushed?"

"The car had already stopped movin'…" Heiji said, sticking his hands into his jacket pocket pensively, staring at the ground. "That's weird…it had definitely been drivin' a few seconds before, but it braked pretty quickly… but anyway, the cop came outta the car, and then that's the last thing I can remember."

"What did the officer look like?" Saguru demanded, his eyes widening.

"Young…" Heiji mused, taking no notice of Saguru's tone. "Black hair, blue eyes…I think that bastard was smilin', too, come ta think of it…"

Heiji's jaw fell open the exact same instant that Saguru pounded his fist into his open palm.

"Kaitou Kid!"

Heiji stood up from the wall. "Quick! What happened to you on the rooftop?"

Saguru's prim posture had degenerated into a ponderous hunch. "I was chasing Kid up the stairs of the building, but he reached the roof before I…the helicopter had already taken off when I got there, but I swear I saw a figure in white at the controls, though it is possible it was a Kid dummy…And then there was a security guard…which is strange, because I'm sure no one was following the Kid and I up the stairs, and why would he be simply standing on the roof?"

"Unless he wasn't a security guard," Heiji said with a grim grin.

Saguru turned pale. "Oh, bugger!"

"What happened after that?" Heiji urged.

"He refused to let me explain who I was; he called more security and they brought me downstairs…but I don't remember seeing the original guard again…"

"He musta figured you'd be too upset about bein' accused of wrongdoing to question it," Heiji smirked.

Saguru's cheeks had gone rather pink. "That bloody wanker!"

Heiji chuckled fatalistically, shoving his hands back in his pockets. "Kid tricked two detectives in less than half an hour."

"This is not funny!" said Saguru, knocking his hat off as he ran a frantic hand through his hair. "We were arrested because of the Kid!"

"Calm down, we didn't do anythin' wrong," Heiji said, leaning back against the wall with a yawn.

"Bollocks!" Saguru yelled, his face now rather flushed. "You were speeding and I was trespassing!"

"Yeah, but it was Kid's fault," Heiji said angrily. "They can't keep us in here."

Saguru's jaw stiffened. "Of course they can, you fool."

"What'd you just call me—"

Heiji seized Saguru's collar; Saguru jerked away, his hat slipping off his head, as he raised his hand—

"Boys, boys!"

Heiji and Saguru looked up, Heiji's fist clenching Saguru's collar and Saguru's hand locked around Heiji's wrist. A police officer with a thick beard and shiny blue eyes was standing on the other side of the bars of their cell, holding a key ring and smiling jovially.

"Just got a call from your fathers, boys!" he chuckled. "Weren't too pleased to hear about their sons' arrests!"

Both boys released each other sheepishly, then crossed their arms in defiance. "Oh, yeah?" Heiji said.

"Don't worry," the policeman chortled, one hand on his stomach, the other inserting the key into the lock of the door, "We agreed immediately to release you!"

"Did you?" Saguru said skeptically.

"Uh, actually, can I stay in here a bit longer?" Heiji said nervously. "My dad…" but he flinched in surprise as he was cut off by another roar of laughter from the policeman.

"Nope, nope! Off you two go, then!" He shooed them as if they were pesky fourth-graders. "Stay out of trouble, now! And better luck catching Kid next time!"

Saguru strode out of the cell without further hesitation, Heiji slouching reluctantly behind him.

"Well, if this isn't the best day of my life…"
"Oi, Hakuba-kun!" the officer called. "Your hat!"

"Oh, thank you," Saguru said gratefully, taking the hat from him with almost loving care as the officer laughed strangely.

Heiji snorted.

"I'll thank you to keep your bogies inside your own nose," Saguru said primly, putting it on. He removed it again almost immediately. "What the…"

There was a little piece of paper inside the hat. Saguru pulled it out and opened it, Heiji craning over his shoulder.

Dear Tantei,

I hope you both got along! Hakuba-kun, the helicopter my associate flew off the top of the Osaka Finance building, and today's gem are in your backyard. Don't worry, I didn't hit the cat. Hattori-kun, that girlfriend of yours is adorable! Can you give me her phone number?

Much love,

Kaitou Kid

Heiji and Saguru's heads snapped up instantaneously, both a furious, fiery red.

The hallway was empty.

"KID!"

All they got in reply was a disembodied snicker.

5