The next day, Nathan was skimming through the newspaper, looking for something brutal to write about. But it looked as if it were a slow news day, with stories relegated to dances at retirement homes and cute puppies up for adoption. There was nothing brutal at all in the newspaper.
But then, Nathan saw an advertisement in a lower corner of the newspaper. "Join the Super Smash Bros. fight league... Hey, guys!" he called out to Skwisgaar, Charles, and any Klokateer within earshot. "Check this out!" He began reading from the advertisement. "Join the Super Smash Bros. fight league! New blood wanted for regularly-scheduled tournaments, one-on-one matches, and multi-man melee. Fame and fortune can be yours! For more information, resources, and application forms, please go to our website at /info."
"Sounds pretty brutals to me," Skwisgaar commented. "Maybes you should joins. Get your minds offs lyrics ands perhap inspires you."
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," Nathan answered. "The ad says I can get application forms on their website. Maybe I should go there?"
Nathan went to the computer room. He logged onto one of the computers, went to the website, and clicked on an icon reading "Applications". He silently read through the description: Please print out the form and fill in all applicable information in blue or black ink. Once the form is complete, please place in an A9-style envelope and mail to the following address...blah, blah... You will receive a correspondence mailing within two weeks that will notify you if you have been accepted or rejected. "They still use snail mail?" he asked in disbelief.
"We still uses the snails mail somestimes," Skwisgaar answered.
"Fair enough," Nathan dismissed Skwisgaar as he printed off the form. Then he went to fill it out.
First Name: Nathan Last Name (if applicable): Explosion Main universe (well-known organization, title, etc.) Dethklok Street/postal address... Home/cell phone... City/state/province/country/ZIP/postal code... Email/website... Nathan filled out all the necessary information.
"How ams the appslications coming?" Skwisgaar asked.
"Almost done," Nathan answered. "I just need to sign this waiver. I need a witness. Can you sign for me?"
Skwisgaar took the pen and signed in the witness area. Then Nathan signed, placed the waiver with the rest of the application papers, and asked a Klokateer for the proper size envelope. The Klokateer returned with the right envelope. Nathan sealed up the envelope and gave it to the Klokateer, who hurried off to the post office to send it.
Later that night, Nathan, Skwisgaar, and Charles decided to watch a few matches between the Super Smash Bros. on the Internet so Nathan could see who he could potentially be going up against.
"Hmmm... It looks likes there ams some pinks blobby creatures throwings peoples into a pots," Skwisgaar commented upon seeing one of the competitors pull a giant cauldron out of nowhere and toss his opponents inside. "...And now they ams hurts badly, and there ams some other things comings out."
"Some kind of... dog... spirit... man... creature... whatever," Nathan described one of the fighters. "Man, they get fighters from every f*guitar noise*ing place imaginable."
"HOLY S*guitar noise*S!" Skwisgaar exclaimed in awe. "Where do you gets a car outsa nowhere and runs yous opponents over with its? This ams quite brutal."
"I think... I think I've found my new calling," Nathan declared. "I just hope I get in, so I can get in on this."
"It looks awfully unsafe," Charles said with a note of concern. "What if you die there?"
But after a while, the match ended. The dog-spirit-man-creature previously noted appeared to have won the match. Every other competitor was shown still alive, politely applauding at the victor's success.
"They're all still alive," Nathan commented. "Even though that one guy pulled out a f*guitar noise*ing car and ran over everybody with it. I should be fine."
That night, Nathan had a dream of himself squaring off against the pink blobby creature, the dog-spirit-man-creature, and the guy with the car. The end result featured everyone else lying in a bloody heap while Nathan placed one foot on the pile, raising an axe in the air with one hand and throwing the horns with the other. It was brutal and metal, and that's exactly how Nathan liked it. Of course, it wouldn't be this way in real life, but Nathan could dream.
