Of White Roses and Broken Promises
By Darkest Temptation
Title: Standing Alone
Starring: Mikan and Natsume
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Disclaimer: Never in a million years could I own this brilliant series.
Summary: Making up her mind, she shook her head in refusal, gathered all of her belongings, and mustered enough courage to walk past the man that she loved.
She wasn't going to lie. Her eyes shone with tears that threatened to cascade down her ruddy cheeks. She wasn't as strong as those who had a freakish ability to hold in tears when the tough got going. Nor was she fortunate enough to be gifted with an amazing acting skill to feign nonchalance.
No, she was the typical girl who wore her heart on her sleeve and laughed at the mere thought of being guilty of concealing her emotions in order to avoid confrontations. However, she finally managed to realize the negative effects of being that girl when she crumpled to the floor after being boisterously pushed by some cocky freshmen football players. Damn her luck.
With her teeth gritted, she heard all the hushed whispers, felt the blood being drawn from biting on her bottom lip to prevent voicing out her annoyance, and saw the pity emitting from their eyes. She didn't dare to snap at their blatant and rude gawking, knowing that whatever she did or said next would turn against her favor if she didn't play her cards right. The slightest mistake could wreck her reputation… Well, what was left of it anyway.
Curling up in a tiny ball and staying in a secluded area was at the top of her priority list, but destiny awaited her with a completely different agenda. Whoever said that destiny always shined in their favor must be a compulsive liar, she brooded to herself.
Abruptly, the monotonous chattering around her had ceased, and she was curious to understand why.
No. No. Curiosity killed the cat, but it almost gave the girl a heart attack. The thing also known as a male human being was the root of the unexpected stillness. He was more important than just being another person; he was her love. Her soul mate. Her cliché. When his crimson eyes connected with her own, butterflies frolicked in her stomach. Dread washed over her, thus causing her throat to run dry and paralyzing her body. She hated the way that he could be the source of all of these sensations just by breathing and being in front of her, but she refused to let the love struck side of her take over.
Recent memories flooded her mind. The heated argument, the overused cussing, the echoes of their shouted frustrations… The actual physical violence. She knew that he didn't mean what he did, but that didn't stop her from subconsciously rubbing the area where the jaw-dropping gash was.
With a gentle smile, he bent down and extended out his hand as an offering of peace. His eyes held no opacity to his thoughts of genuine sincerity and apology. Instinctively, she almost reached out to accept his unworded apology. Mid way to touching the palm of his hand, she froze. There was no way that a simple gesture could repent for what he did. Before she could even think of forgiving him, she needed to forgive herself first.
He frowned deeply at her hesitation and lack of response to his presence. She put him aside for a moment, while finalizing her decisions of what to do next. Making up her mind, she shook her head in refusal, gathered all of her belongings, and mustered enough courage to walk past the man that she loved.
Her chin was held up high and cold dignity was in her eyes. The fat tears rolled down her face, splattering against the floor. Her jaw was rigid courtesy of the painful memory of losing her balance and falling down a flight of stairs. Once she crashed against the carpeted ground at the end, she just knew that the precious life within her womb was lost. The doctor she saw on a regular basis confirmed her fears and granted the father's wish from day one.
Maybe if she just complied with what he wanted and secretly went behind his back to have their baby girl, there would be three of them instead of two. Maybe if she saw the shove coming beforehand, she could've gripped the railing a bit firmer to maintain her balance. Maybe if she chose abstinence, she would've been able to live without the guilt and melancholy of her lost one.
A grim smile graced her lips. All of the events felt surreal, but it was her reality.
Another stir was created out of the scene composed of awkward stillness and unspoken conversations. The almost inaudible gossiping, the stares of disbelief, the taste of salt in her mouth… A part in the crowd of spectators was made especially for her. Tears blurred her vision as she shakily made her way to class, her solitary figure among the masses. Maybe standing alone wasn't as bad as she originally thought.
