I hid in the bushes with binoculars and a camo war helmet on my head, "So, how'd you figure out Haruhi was a girl? She's pretty convincing as a guy."

Princess Ayanokoji sat on an iron outdoor chair under a parasol. She held a hot and delicate cup of tea in her hands, "Call it a woman's intuition."

"What if Tamaki was just gay?"

"Oh please, Tamaki could never be gay."

"What makes you say that?"

She straightened her posture even more, if that were possible, and said quite surely, "Because this anime is obviously a romantic school comedy. He and Haruhi are the two leads and the rest of them are the homosexual supporting cast."

"Okay so Haruhi and Tamaki are the two leads so there's no chance of you getting between them. And if they're supporting cast what does that make us? Following that logic forget getting between them- you're only hope now is a cameo in a filler episode-"

"SHUT UP!" She cut me off, but quickly composed herself, "Why are you in the bushes anyway?"

I sat up in the foliage, "I guess I wanted to?"

"Huh, so even guys like you have things they want."

"Everyone has something they want. For example," I talked a little more loudly, " you rEALLY WANT TAMAKI!"

"Not so loud!"

I looked at her blushing in agony through my binoculars. She's the kind of girl who hides her face in her tea cup when she's being ugly- I mean acting like a normal human being. If she keeps her face near the steam for too long her makeup is going to get weird. Maybe I should tell her.

"I don't see why you shouldn't have him though. You're not a main character but you're not ugly either. You could have potential."

She groaned at my observation, "What makes you say that, lackey?"

"This lackey happens to be in the literature club. I've read about way worse characters than you."

She didn't say anything back to me. She simply set her tea ware on the iron garden table and lowered herself down to my level in the bushes.

"Give me your binoculars. Tamaki's hair is really pretty today. I can't get a good view from here unless I have them."

"Yes, your majesty."

She snatched them from my hands, "Darn right."

She was blushing a little bit. Normally one would make a comment on it so I will do so here. You know, when she's not being a total stuck up bitch… she's less of a total stuck up bitch.

"So why do you think Haruhi is dressing like a boy?"

"Because she wants to get closer to Tamaki, of course."

"Tamaki is a decided heterosexual though, so Haruhi being a boy doesn't make sense."

She searched for words but came up with none. There's good and bad with assuming everyone is the same as you. But when I look at Haruhi I'm pretty sure she's nothing like Princess Ayanokoji. Maybe I should be friends with her instead? That would require effort though… but the princess did ask me to do so. Hmmm…

"Do you think Tamaki knows she's a girl?"

"Ummm…"

"Your highness?"

"Are you about to slow cook me?"

"What? Are you trying to say roast? Are you above saying 'get roasted?'"

"Just finish what you were saying."

I almost grinned, she's totally stuck up and it's funny to me, "I think you just hate Haruhi to progress the plot. You're just jealous."

"We went over that, and can you stop breaking the fourth wall? My heart can only take so much."

I kept my mouth shut after that. We sat in the bushes while hosting activities continued a few feet away from us. I watched the cherry blossoms fall around us. There really weren't any cherry blossoms in France. They're pretty. In Japanese literature people confess under these flowers- sakura. A petal made its way through the leaves of the bushes and landed on my helmet. I plucked it off and considered putting it in my pocket to keep but I know I can't keep it. It'll die in my pocket and turn brown. You can't keep a cherry blossom, you can only watch it. Time waits for no one, the lesson of the cherry blossom.

"Hey Princess," I said almost to myself even though I was addressing the girl next to me.

"Hmm?" She wasn't looking at me.

"Wanna go out with me instead?"

"What are you going on about now?" She seemed bored with my statement.

I couldn't help but laugh even though it came out as more of slightly more ragged breathing. Laugh was honestly too powerful of a word for it. She's actually kind of funny.

"What are you laughing at," now she was looking at me.

"It's my own private joke."

She groaned but went back to watching the hosts do the mosts, "well laugh more quietly, I'm trying to form a plan."

"Why don't you just talk to him? Tamaki is pretty straight forward, he'll probably forgive you if you come clean."

"I don't need to do that when I have you."

"Huh?"

She gave me that evil girl grin, "Why do you think I talked to you in the first place?"

"Huh?" My huh sounded more like a quack.

"Your fathers are partners and I've seen Tamaki talk to you on occasion. You've probably been to each other's houses right?"

"Well yeah?" Obviously.

"So who else can get close to Tamaki and Haruhi without having any allegiances to them? Who better than a transfer student with no past, no present, and no future? Of course I'd pick you. I mean, it's almost laughable. Did you really think I'd lower myself to your level without having something to gain? Oh, or did you actually think we were becoming friends?"

She let out a girlish ghoulish giggle like she was winning a beauty pageant. She looked at me with those sharp judging eyes. She was totally looking down on me. It was kind of cool to be honest even though I could feel myself starting to resent her.

"You know you talk a lot, Princess," I said as bored as usually say my sentences.

"That's all you're going to say?"

"What do you want me to say, that I hate you now?"

She stared at me expectantly so I elaborated, "I don't have anyone I can really call my friend here because I don't really care about those things. I only have a year left of high school and that'll be the only time I spend here with any of you. That makes my time here inconsequential and be default you inconsequential. I've already told you why I'm helping you. I have nothing better to do."

I said it flatly like everything else I say and I meant it like everything else I say. Her expression was like mine, almost unreadable. The parts I could read I didn't understand, I didn't have to.

"You only said that to hurt me."

"I know."

She took one last look at the hosting boys, club activities were almost over for the day. She set the binoculars down and crawled back out of the bushes. She dusted herself off and made her way to the front of the school where undoubtable a car has been waiting for her since it dropped her off this morning. I looked up at the sky through the new spaces between the cherry blossoms. It was getting late, I have no reason to hang back here anymore. I sent a text to my driver while approaching the front gates of the school.

I saw the princess getting into her car. Her driving closed the door behind her while I made my way over to the car. I tapped the window and she rolled it down.

"What?"

I didn't really know what to say because I didn't even know why I walked over to her car. I grabbed the ends of my glasses so the lenses in the front would move up and down. I did this for a while and she just watched me do it, her expression totally blank. Then she nodded like she understood something.

"Take off your glasses."

I did as told and squinted my eyes in attempt to see clearly which utterly failed.

She did that snooty half laugh, "you can put them back on. You're even plainer without them it turns out."

"Yeah well at least Tamaki talks to me."

"He takes pity on you."

"That's more than you have going for you."

"So what do you propose I do?"

"Well," I adjusted my glasses, "I don't know, but if you want to be a main character you're going to have to start deciding some things for yourself."

She nodded again, this time not looking at anything in particular before finally saying, "You said there was something you wanted, what is it?"

"Right now? Honestly, I could go for an orange popsicle."

"You're a moron."

"I'm a lackey."

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Probably."

"Goodbye then."

"Yeah."

She drove off and I watched her car until it turned the corner. My car arrived shortly after. The driver rolled down the window watching me look at nothing in particular.

"Sir?"

"What a bitch."

"SIR WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!"