In the following days, you start to regain some of your strength. Once you tried to stand up, but fell flat on your face because your foot apparently wasn't ready to be used yet. Your mom stays with you at least five hours everyday just to make sure you're not doing anything stupid, like trying to get out of bed again.

You get so many visitors, people from the Ark and Grounders alike. Some of them are people you've never even met, but they thank you for freeing their son or daughter, mother or father from the clutches of the Mountain. You always say that they should be thanking Bellamy or Octavia or Monty or someone other than you because, God, you are not a hero. That bitch made sure of that.

You also are told of what the city of Polis has to offer. Octavia always comes in to tell you what happened to her every day. Bellamy comes in every other day to make sure you're not going stir crazy in this room. He also mentions how much stuff he found in the underground of the city. One day, he brings you a piece of technology from before the bombs went off. "It's called a Game Boy," he starts. "Apparently, they were really popular like 150 years ago with kids." He hands you the brick-like object and you inspect it.

"What the hell did they do with this?" you ask, looking at the blank screen on the front. Bellamy pulls out a smaller rectangular object and puts it into a slot on the top of the object. He switched a button on the side and the screen lit up and read "GAMEBOY ADVANCE Nintendo". Your eyes light up and are entranced by this small device in your hands. "They would put these small cartridges in the top and it would be a different game every time," he explained.

Thankfully, Polis had a stock of good batteries so you could play for hours. Bellamy brought you a new game every week and you looked forward to his visits more than anything else. He took your mind away from the constant terror you experienced every day in your head.

You have horrible visions of the people of Mount Weather burning from being exposed to radiation. You feel your own skin burn sometimes when someone brings up her "saving them". You wake up every night in a cold sweat from the nightmares. The terrible, terrible nightmares. You try not to think of them during the day, but they invade every space they can find in your head. Pain is all you can think about, but you feel nothing.

When Raven visits, she walks with more of a limp than before. You want to ask her how she's doing, but you think that if you do, she won't hesitate to put back the bullets your mom pulled from your body. You're happy to see her. She gives you shit about "still being laid up just because you got shot a few times". That makes you laugh a little and Raven gives you a genuine smile.

"I mean if I was you," she continues, "I'd be wrestling to get out of this stuffy room." You shrug your shoulders, but wince in pain, forgetting about the gunshot you suffered there. "Well, I don't wanna be strapped down again," you say.

Raven's face falters a little. "I didn't know…" she stops and looks at the unbuckled restraints hanging off the side of your bed. Her face grows serious. "You were putting on quite a scene when they were trying to save your skin."

You raise an eyebrow, and she continues. "When we found you in the Mountain, you were covered in blood." She swallows and looks to the floor. "I thought you were gone, Clarke. You weren't breathing or anything and I…" she clears her throat, "Luckily, your mom kept her head screwed on and shocked you back to life with one of those things the Ark guards had.

"You were sputtering blood out of your mouth and we knew you were in deep shit. We bound your wounds tightly and had to figure out what to do next. We were too far away from the Ark, so Lincoln pitched that we should head toward Polis." "Lincoln was with you?" you interrupt. She nods. "He came in just as we found you.

"Anyway, we deliberated that point for way too long so you decided to give your two-cents. You said-God, Clarke-you said, 'Take me to Rolie Polie,' and I almost started cracking up. But, then I remembered that you were pretty much dying so I did my best to try not to ruin the moment.

"Kane went back to the Ark to get more help as soon as we decided we were heading to Polis. The walk there didn't take as long as I thought it would to get there, but it was agonizing. You were saying things that no one understood. You were crying, but no tears left your eyes. You kept saying, um, someone's name. It was horrible to see you in that state.

"We brought you into the city and the first person we met was actually a healer so Lincoln asked her to help. She took one look at you and screamed. She said something about getting her to the tower, so we ran as fast as we could."

She takes a deep breath and lets it out shakily. "With some extreme begging, we got you into the tower, one of the guards there brought up some medical supplies, and your mom started operating. Several healers approached and tried to help, but there wasn't anything they could do. It was a waiting game for Kane to get to us with the supplies your mom needed.

"It looked pretty bleak, Clarke. I thought it was over. But, someone decided to help." Raven's eyes seem angry, but her voice doesn't show the emotion. "They brought us to a room below the city. It looked like a modern hospital-type room. There was some good equipment your mom could use to keep you alive for a little while longer, but you refused. You said," she stops to look at you, and you see how much fury is actually behind those eyes.

"You said, 'I'd rather die than get help from a lying, abandoning, filthy Grounder.'" You are stunned by your own words. "Somehow," she continues, "you pull through and Kane got here just in time with everything." She sighs and shakes her head. "Dammit, Clarke, you could've died," her voice breaks. "But I'd rather die than get help from that commanding fucker, too."

Your head snaps up. You see that Raven realizes what she said, and her eyes are wide. "What happened next, Raven?" you rumble. She swallows and resumes. "After you got some blood pumped into your system, I guess you thought you were invincible. You jumped out of bed and went at her with everything you had in you. It took three people to hold you back." She looks away and fiddles with the bottom of her shirt with her fingers.

"I guess that's why they had to strap me down," you mumble. Raven makes no movement to say anything else, so you decide to ask her the burning question. "Who was it, Raven?" Her eyes lock on yours. "Who did I not want to help me survive?"

She hangs her head, but her eyes are still on yours. "Heda," she utters.

You really wish you were strapped down to the bed now.


hey fam! so thanks for reading/commenting/favoriting/following again. hope you liked how clarke got to polis! i didn't really know what i was doing so that was fun. okay be cool.

- juju :)