The fire popped and crackled and a faint shrieking as the wood burned trilled softly in the Gryffindor Common Room. Its glow cast long shadows across the space and its inhabitants, including Hermione Granger. She sat in a corner of the room, darkness shrouding all except her face. A slice of orange glow illuminated only a diagonal slash of her head. One eye remained in the dark, while the other shone like whisky to a flame; both, though, were trained on the portrait hole. Her legs were pulled beneath her and her arms rested comfortably on the squashy chair.
Immobile, she was another part of the castle, but as the portrait opened abruptly, she was suddenly alive. The boy traipsed in carelessly, shaggy hair swaying with each easy step. Her eyes followed quietly, appraising him, until he made to amble up the stairs.
"Fred."
He cringed before relaxing upon recognizing her.
"Oy, 'Mione. Didn't see you there."
Smiling, he strolled to her armchair and nudged her limb off the arm so he could perch there. She tipped her head back to look at him, amber eyes hard.
Faltering, he hesitantly reached to put an arm around her shoulders but she defiantly shrugged it off.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He posed the question carefully, afraid of an eruption of her temper.
She glared at him, in awe of his temerity.
"What's wrong, he asks! What's wrong is when I wake up, after falling asleep in the Room of Requirement with you, to find my undergarments and wand snatched! That would've been fine, though I wondered how you got the knickers and bra, excepting the fact that in my dorm, my entire underwear drawer had been cleared!
I had to spend the entire Saturday outside without anything underneath on, in December, mind you!" She spat.
He started to speak, but she furiously cut him off.
"But what made it worse was how Ron stared! I thought he was—"
He interrupted her, his face suddenly serious.
"Ronald did what?"
Startled and confused, she calmed.
"He wouldn't stop staring at, well, these." She awkwardly gestured to her chest.
Fred stared for a moment before snapping his gaze up to her eyes. He frowned, "Ron was looking, eh?"
Wary, she nodded.
He abruptly stood and distractedly dug around in his pocket before handing over her knickers and wand. After a quick good night peck, he bounded up the stairs. Dumbfounded, Hermione collapsed back against the chair.
A terrified shriek echoed throughout the entire Gryffindor Tower, followed by loud, thundering footsteps. Hermione, confused, rushed into the freezing Common Room only to halt.
Ron, now equipped with his own very obvious cleavage, darted around, hands trying to hide the breasts he had acquired over night. As boys catcalled and shrilled whistles, a smile began to curve Hermione's lips.
"Always give the ladies' mates breasts; they'll forgive you every time."
Fred's arm slipped around her waist and she chuckled, shaking her head good naturedly.
