xxX Heartless You Xxx Chapter 2

Despite her strong words, Misao cried more in the next few weeks than she had ever cried before. Everything in her home seemed to remind her of the tall, quiet man that had raised her from infancy. Every time she walked into a room, she thought she saw him standing in the far corner. But it was only the fantasies of her torn, young mind that formed the shadow of his existence to quiet the cries of her heart.

The tears came when she was helping out in the kitchen. Her gaze passed over the cerulean green teacups that Aoshi had always liked and her fist clenched around the washcloth she was holding. Omasu set down the knife she was cutting vegetables with and wiped her hand on her apron. Misao's knees buckled and she crashed to the floor none too gracefully. Omasu put her arms around her and sighed. Misao had already gone through this no less than five times in the past two days. It seemed as though the tears never really left her, they only stayed in the background until something provoked them to return.

Omasu and Okon decided it would be best if Misao stayed away from the kitchens for the next little while, so they gave her over to Shiro and Kuro. The two young men were fixing up the roof so they invited Misao to help them. She followed them up the ladder that she had used so many times in the past.

A laughing little girl clambered up the ladder that her friend held for her. She twisted around to look down at the masked man holding the ladder for her. Waving to him energetically, she called his name.

"Be careful, Misao-chan," Hannya's deep rumbling voice cautioned her.

"Hai!" she returned cheerfully, continuing her climb.

At the top of the ladder, another man crouched, waiting for her. He was dressed in the purple Oniwabanshuu uniform they all wore, but he seemed to wear strength and confidence like a cloak. This was their Okashira, Shinomori Aoshi. When Misao reached the top of the ladder, he extended a large hand to help her up. Gleefully placing her small, delicate hands in his calloused ones, she allowed herself to be lifted up onto the roof.

She was aware of Hannya quickly ascending behind her, but her gaze was on the other three men on the Aoiya's roof. The full moon hung swollen and silver in the sky, silhouetting the figures of Misao's friends and caretakers.

The largest one, Hyottoko, stood a few heads above the muscled and scarred Shikijo. The moon's light brushed the top of the third man's head, as Beshimi was squatting before the others. Misao giggled as Hannya lifted her up and placed her on Aoshi's broad shoulders. She rested her chin atop the young man's silky black hair and closed her eyes contently.

Suddenly, she was falling. "Aoshi-sama!" she cried out, reaching for his comforting hand in the darkness that engulfed her. "Aoshi-sama, help me!" He didn't come, and she fell----

----from the sunny rooftop with tears flying from her now open eyes. Shiro gave a shout and grabbed her wrist as she plunged off the edge. Kuro rushed over and together they hauled the sobbing Misao back up to safety. She sat in a crumpled, desolate heap and didn't move, save for the shaking of her shoulders.

Shiro cautiously put an arm around her and stiffened when she involuntarily leaned into him. Kuro gave him a stern look that clearly said Get over it, she needs comfort now, more than ever. And so the two young men sat with her for a good part of the morning, helpless to do anything but to hold her and watch her cry.

No matter what anybody tried, there was always something that reminded Misao of her Aoshi-sama. There were too many memories of times she had spent with him and their deceased friends. Wherever she went there was always some reminder of the losses she had suffered.

Finally, Okina decided enough was enough. He could not stand to see his adopted granddaughter steeped in sorrow as she was, so he made up his mind to give her a nice long talk about it. He called her up to his rooms after supper one night, and she grudgingly obliged.

Misao made her way up to Okina's quarters with a heavy heart. She knew exactly what the old man wanted to talk about and she didn't feel like crying. He would remind her of Aoshi-sama and that would only make things worse. But obligations were obligations, and as the child of the family and Okina the elder, she had to obey. It occurred to her that she was now the Okashira and could refuse if she wanted to, but then she realized that she would only feel guilty about it. Besides, Okina had always been Aoshi-sama's advisor for Oniwabanshuu matters.

Misao tapped on the doorframe and Okina bid her to enter. Stepping in, she closed the door behind her and bowed like she should. Then she went to kneel beside her adoptive grandfather.

"You wanted to discuss something, Jiya?" She began in as casual a voice as she could manage.

"Misao, I'm really very sorry that it has to come to this," the old man replied in a weary voice, "But you have been in your grief for too long. Even people outside the Aoiya know, and rumors have been going around. The Oniwabanshuu has tried their best to protect your honor, but you must learn to move on."

"Move on?" Misao demanded incredulously, "You are telling me now to put Aoshi-sama behind me and stop thinking about him entirely? How could you possibly---"

Okina raised a hand to stop her, and continued, "No, I am not telling you to forget about him, but please, Misao-chan try to put him out of your heart, at least until things have settled down. After the Shishio incident, we need a strong and firm Okashira more than ever. You cannot continue moping like this."

"Moping? Jiya, you have no idea how I feel." Misao exploded, "He was the one who raised me, taught me everything, and tucked me into bed at night. Then they all left me and I was left here to wait for them.

"When I realized they weren't coming back for a long time, I went out to search for them. And I found him but they were dead! Dead, Jiya, they were killed. I thought Aoshi-sama would come home then, but instead he was changed. He tried to kill you!"

Okina gave her an inquiring look, "If you find him faulted for all these things then why do you still cry for him?"

"Because I love him, Jiya!" Misao cried in an anguished tone, tears spilling down her cheeks, "I prayed for him to come back, I wished upon the stars every clear night. But now----now he disappeared and even Kenshin couldn't do anything."

Her voice dropped to a hoarse whisper, "I fear that…that he is lost to me forever."

"Misao, you shouldn't make such a firm decision on things," the old man said quietly, "Perhaps he is still alive somewhere, and perhaps he is only spending a bit of time alone before returning to us."

Misao swiped her tears away impatiently, "A bit of time alone? It has been nearly a month since the others returned. If Aoshi-sama was planning on coming back, don't you think he would have at least contacted us by now?"

"Misao, don't be unreasonable," Okina tried desperately to bring her away from any more despondent topics. "There are many things that could be keeping Aoshi from contacting us. For example…"

But Misao was not to be stopped, "Jiya! Can't you see? He isn't coming back." Misao stood up suddenly, a fire in her eyes. "I'm going to go look for him. I'll find out where he is, no matter what."

"Misao!" Okina was startled, "You can't just go off like that! I won't allow it. These times are not safe for a young woman to be traveling alone. I absolutely forbid you from leaving this city, young lady." He saw the defiance in Misao's eyes and added for good measure, "If I find out that you have, you will regret ever being born!"

The girl stared at her old guardian, "Jiya, do you mean to keep me from going to find Aoshi-sama even if it means giving up my happiness? Please, Jiya, I'm begging you. Let me go find him. I can take care of myself now!"

Okina sighed and shook his head sadly. He knew she would be distraught, but she was like a granddaughter to him and he could not afford to lose her now. "I am sorry, Misao."

The fire in her eyes went out as suddenly as it had come, and she crumpled to the floor once again, weeping.

Okina sighed and patted her head, "Things will be better soon."

Misao shook her head slightly, and voiced, "Now, I believe----" her voice caught, "He is dead. Perhaps he is still alive somewhere, but to me…he is dead. But I don't know why, I still look out the window and watch for him coming back down the path. It is as if…as if my heart cannot let go of my own childish fantasies."

xxxxx

A/N: Yay second chapter's up. In the last one I forgot to put down a bunch of stuff I was meaning to put down, because I wasn't sure how it would work. Anyways, here's me trying to make up for it. So many many thanks to my editor RoseKurama1 for helping me out. Also, thanks to my cousin for thinking up the title for me! And thanks to Mari for giving me ideas for chapter titles.

Everybody else, please R/R!

Disclaimer: All Rurouni Kenshin characters belong to Watsuki-san. Any standard disclaimers also apply.