A/N: Okay, so I realise I said these would be Saturday updates, and the last one was on Sunday, and this one's on Friday, but I'm going on holiday tomorrow and thought ya'll would appreciate an early update more than none at all.
So here it is. XP
Unfortunately, this is the penultimate chapter already. Yes, the next one's the last. (That's what penultimate means)
And I would just like to say that there was a brilliant response to the last chapter! I mean, except for My Little Lodger, I don't think I've had a response that big for the first chapter of any of my fics! Thanks so much to:
chaos-son
silentman97
dragonballzlover2499
ulquihime7980
ulquihimeforever321
Rainbow Fruit Loop
and BDM-girl! Thanks again!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. All credit goes to Kubo Tite. Who is not my favouritest person in the world right now as he may have killed a character I like. (If you've read Bleach manga 494, you'll know what I mean.)
Not Alone
I open the front door with my key and let myself into the hallway. I've long grown out of the habit of yelling, "I'm home!" after I shut it. Sora's in South Africa with his work now, and there's no one else to answer.
Well, no one except Ulquiorra. But he always knows when I'm back, because he's always there, waiting for me, when I need him. Just sitting on my bed as he always has, from the very first moment I saw him.
I go to him now; it's been a hard day at school and I need to vent. It's not fair to burden everyone else with my problems, but Ulquiorra has assured me that I can tell him, that he wants to know. And so I tell him, because even I know I can't bottle everything up.
I open my door and smile. "Hey, Ulquiorra!" I greet him, skipping over to my bed and planting myself next to him. I make sure not to touch him, though. We have this unspoken agreement that forbids us from making any physical contact. I don't even know why myself, but I have a horrible suspicion that if I touch him, he'll either turn into something very scary, or worse, disappear forever.
So naturally, I don't touch him, and he doesn't touch me.
"Hello Orihime," he replies, awarding me with his own small, rarely seen smile.
I beam even brighter. I adore his smile.
"Happy birthday." His voice snaps me out of my little dazed happy place.
"Ah, thank you! It's so nice you remembered!" I tell him, though I know he couldn't have possibly forgotten, seeing as I've been talking animatedly about it near-constantly for a while now, and he is a part of me, after all.
He nods politely, and asks, "Do you feel any different now you're sixteen?"
I consider. "Nope," I conclude after a few seconds. "Pretty samey-same-same, actually."
"I see."
A silence, but it's not awkward. Nothing's awkward with Ulquiorra. Although, that might just be because his aura makes everything awkward and I've just got used to it.
I should think so too, after nine years.
"What do you need to talk about?" he inquires, turning to face me.
I scoff. "What makes you think I have something to talk about? Maybe I just wanted to see you."
"And then again, maybe not. Come, Orihime, you can tell me. It can't possibly be worse than anything else you've told me before."
He's right. It's not. But it's more personal this time. And I don't think I want him to know just yet.
"Orihime…" he murmurs, the closest he'll ever come to begging.
"No, sorry. I don't think I'm quite ready right at this second. But I'll tell you in the end; I always do. You know that," I remind him, wanting to push his shoulder gently, like I'd do with my other friends at this point, but of course I mustn't.
He gives up, (he always knows when it's a lost cause) and leans back on his elbows. "How was school today?" he asks nonchalantly, though I know he cares.
I huff, my fringe lifting from my forehead as my breath hits it. "More assignments. I swear, the teachers are trying to work us to death!" I declare, waving my arms around in frustration.
He shakes his head, tutting quietly under his breath. "I may be inclined to agree with you there. Are you prepared for your exams coming up next week?"
I groan. "God…I'd rather not think about them."
He glances at me from under his thick eyelashes. "How bad is it?"
I know what he means. "Well, Maths is going okay, I think I'll probably be fine with that, but I'm so worried about History! I can't write fast enough to get the timing right and all the dates are really hard to remember!"
Ulquiorra sits up and positions his head so he's looking at me dead on. I gulp. I hate it when he does that. But only because I love it so much that it can't not be illegal.
"You will be fine. I am sure you will be able to memorise the dates in time, and if the timing in the exam doesn't work out and you don't finish, there are always resits. Don't worry too much, you'll make yourself ill," he commands, rather than tells me.
He always knows exactly what I need to hear.
I smile. "Yeah. Yeah, thanks, Ulquiorra. I owe you one."
He shakes his head lightly, as he always does. "You do not owe me anything, Orihime. All I want is to help you, and the satisfaction of doing my job correctly is repayment enough."
I tilt my head, inquisitive. "Can you feel satisfaction?" I ask.
When I was around eight, Ulquiorra told me that he couldn't feel emotions of his own, only those of other people.
"Every time you cry, my heart – the one I steal from others – breaks a little more," he'd told me.
I smile sadly at the memory, but soon return to the present.
Ulquiorra's still pondering my question, a look of introspection on his face. Finally, he answers.
"I believe so, yes. It appears I am starting to feel emotions of my own." He doesn't sound exactly thrilled about it, but it's early days in the emotional sense of things, right?
"That's great!" I cheer, grinning all over my face.
He nods absently, still not looking anything more than slightly worried.
"Ulquiorra? What's the matter? Aren't you glad – I'm sorry, satisfied – that you can feel for yourself now?" I inquire, concerned about him a little.
Ulquiorra blinks and looks at me. "I am sorry, I did not mean to worry you," he states woodenly.
I pout. "Don't be ridiculous, I offload all my stress onto you, so why can't you do the same to me, just this once? What's bothering you?"
He breathes in deeply, closing his startling green eyes for a second. Coupled with the curious, tear-like markings on his face, it looks for all the world as if he's stoically weeping for something long-lost.
Finally, he opens his eyes and looks at me again. "I am suspicious that the fact I am beginning to feel my own emotions may be a sign that I am drifting away from you," he tells me frankly, though I can see the trepidation reflected in those emerald pools.
I draw in a sharp breath, sudden terror closing up my throat with constricting tension. "I…I don't want you to go," I croak out when I can, tears brimming in my eyes.
The thought of losing Ulquiorra is worse than the thought of losing everything else, to me.
Ulquiorra's eyes soften with something akin to fondness, laced with not a little concern, and he leans in closer to me, not touching, but close enough that I can feel his breath ghost over my lips.
I shiver, my throat seizing up for a completely different reason this time.
"I will never leave you willingly. I promise you that. I will stay with you as long as possible, until you do not wish to see me any longer," he whispers softly, his lips moving so close to mine, closer than they've ever been before, and I long so much to—
No. That would definitely be crossing the line.
"I'd never wish for that," I tell him, "I want to stay with you forever and ever."
"Then so I will," he replies simply. I can practically feel the honesty radiating off his words.
My smile is a bit wobbly, but he returns it without hesitation.
I love his smile so much.
I wrinkle my nose at myself. I'm being vain. No matter how I wish it wasn't true, Ulquiorra is my mind's creation. The fact that everything about him seems so much better than perfect to me is natural, when you consider that.
But I do love his smile.
I love all of him.
And I wish so badly that he could be real, so it could be possible for him to love me back.
But even though he's not, and even though he can't, I'm still happy.
Because he's here.
And I'm not alone.
A/N: Was the time-skip confusing for any of you? I hope not, because I hate that in fics I read, and it'd be a fail if I did it myself. DX
Again, Ulquiorra is not a Hollow in this fic, so no moaning about OOCness, if you please.
See ya next time! (Saturday! Maybe!)
