Holy shit, seven reviews. –Hides- Sorry the update took so long. First my older computer was working fine, then I had to switch to a new one, then I had to get this story back from my files. Geez it's been difficult. I feel like this chapter is a little rushed, so sorry in advanced.


As if the tense silence could get any more awkward, his fucking ex shows up out of nowhere, catching the two in a seemingly scandalous position... From his view anyway. The tall yellow jacket caressing the short crabby ex's cheek, hovering above him in a hot position of longing and lust. Once again, it's for the viewer to perceive. That's just what it looked most like to Ampora at the moment.

Ah yes, the sappy, whiny prince of bad pick-up lines and dorky hipster glasses. Seriously, those black frames were not a good compliment to his... Fuck it, he's a fashion disaster waiting to happen. That overly styled brown hair perfectly accentuating the purple-dyed strand of hair right between his eyes. The huge bright blue eyes, and his European lightly tanned face speckled in freckles. His face was the only thing that attracted Karkat four years ago. Now it only served to disgust him.

He was yet another tall asshat, about Sollux's height actually. But the awkward silence couldn't go on for much longer, and Karkat had a feeling it had nothing to do with him. They were staring at each other, Sollux's hands still on his face. (And actually doing a good job at hiding his flushed cheeks.) Not helping, but not hindering. They were staring at each other in complete silence until Eridan finally spoke up, shoulders hiked up defensively.

"W-well? The fuck are you ewen doin', Sol?" Huh, they knew each other? Not like Karkat was that surprised, any hot tall smart guy would most likely be hit on by this jerkoff. Wait, did he just call him hot? Uh, yeah. Sollux snickered yet again before even responding.

"Oh you know, just seducthing my new boss." His cocky attitude was so fucking obnoxious, he didn't even bat a fucking eye and Eridan let out a low growl, finally going to stare at Karkat, for all of two seconds. "What are you doing here, fishdick?"

"Rude." He called, arms crossed. "I w-was just... you know-w w-what? I don't ewen need to answ-wer to you!" he spat, arms crossed over his black turtleneck and purple striped scarf. His wide black frames slipped down his button nose as he spat, glaring death daggers at the seductive bee. "W-wait. New boss?" Eridan's eyes instantly fell back to Karkat, like staring into the eyes of a cheating boyfriend or something. Yeah, they dated for two years. Two. Years. Ago. Eridan was way too clingy for his own good. "Kar..."

"Face it ED, this hot piece of ass is mine, now." Sollux quipped, snaking an arm around his shoulders. "Didn't know you had him. I guesth you have better tastes than I imagined." Eridan let out a low growl, his hands curled into fists. He really looked like he was going to start screaming at the guy while Sollux just stayed there and made impossible claims to what wasn't going to be his. Like he was going to jump him and rip his larynx out through his nostrils.

Yeah, this had to stop. A loud snap had both men's attention, Karkat took some amount of pleasure in the fact that they both jumped. Like they forgot Karkat was completely there at all. He smacked Sollux's arms away non-nonchalantly, stepping back to give himself some distance. "Bulgesniffers, please. By all means, continue this little bitch fight over abso-fucking-lutely nothing. I'll be sure to drag the loser down the stairs to the garbage chute." he said, arms crossed. "Eridan. What the hell do you think you're doing here?"

"Kar..." Ampora whined to him, so pathetically. It used to be the only thing Karkat could stand of his voice, besides some other unmentionable sounds that he also found sexy. Now it just wouldn't cease to grind down his auditory nubs. "You need to giwe me your new-w address still." Oh what a laugh. Karkat would laugh so much if he didn't practically feel the tension around him, revolving around him like some love-sick cupid on crack, yet still seeming to not be directly about him. Confusing.

"Who the hell said I would?" Yes, that painful stare, his resolutions melting into a hopeless heap of pathetic in front of their very eyes. "Eridan, we're through. He have been for two years." Crossing his arms, he let that brilliant piece of truth sink in, going back to Sollux. "And who said you could claim me, you buzzing lispy douche bag?"

"Obviously, me." Sollux had the gall to answer just now, didn't he? Oh, that's it.

Karkat cleared his throat, once again catching both of their attention."Let me clear the air right fucking now. I am not anyone's. You hear me. I don't have sex with the pricks I work with, and even then I am not that easy. Seducthing your boss isn't going to fucking happen." Silence. Yeah, Karkat was offended, yeah Ampora did have a sarcastic 'oh really' look on his face, and yeah, Sollux looked almost as defeated as Eridan. Wonderful.

"W-wow-w, pathetic Sol." Eridan mumbled, arms crossed as he pouted through his hateful glance. He earned at spiteful glare from them both as another awkward silence fell over the group. No, Karkat wasn't having any of it. No more awkwardness.

"Both of you, get the fuck out. I'm going to get some food." Karkat ordered. His rage-induced behavior faded almost as soon as it arrived. There was no point in wasting his time with these repulsive excuses for men. "And I swear to god Ampora, don't even say anything. I'm done with you." He caught him just about to speak. Probably to ask him out or something. Nope, not going to happen. Not after last month... He didn't even need his jacket, he was too warm as is. No, he left them both in the room, and thought he could get away and remain in silence to think and wind down this developing migraine.

But Sollux must have followed after him, and as much as he tried to prevent it, they were now stuck in a long elevator ride together. Although, Sollux was back to keeping his hands to himself, thank god. "What the fuck was that about, Captor? Did you seriously think I was that shallow?" He flinched again, hands in his pocket. That ashamed look he had was almost cute. Almost.

"Thorry. I...wasn't planning on being so forward. It'th just..." He let out a heavy sigh. "That was my ex."

Karkat froze, glaring up at him. Talk about weird, but it did explain a few things. "So you figured you'd play the gay chicken game to show off your non-existent prize? Yeah, that doesn't work on other homosexuals. More or less it's more proof that your attempts are more legitimate than you want." Karkat crossed his arms. "And not something I'm going to accept."

Sollux glanced away finally, and he sighed again. "Yeah. Figured, after that. That kinda sucks." he mumbled. Funny, he was overconfident a few seconds ago, and now he's this nervous wreck? Weird.

"What, no counter to that 'your ass is mine now' claim you made in front of Eridan? No complaints about the not doing your work associate policy I have?" Karkat said, arms crossed. Sollux almost looked offended, before realizing that, yeah, he did that just then. They didn't say a single thing until they reached the bottom floor, and it was pretty fucking awkward. As they went for the door, Sollux was about to just walk away, probably back to his hotel, before the cancer spoke again. "And where the hell do you think you're going?"

He jumped before glancing over, spotting yet another annoyed glance from his boss. This little glance also seemed... disappointed? A little upset? "Back to my hotel, obviouthly." His face contorted to one of disapproval. A glance he would have to get used to. "What. You told me to get out."

"I told you to get out of my suite. And you did. I didn't say you could leave just yet." He crossed his arms before starting up again. "Ampora is a given, I intentionally don't want to see his ugly mug ever again. But you're a different story. I have to deal with you." That wasn't sarcasm. Why was it not so convincing?

"I don't know whether to bee offended or appreciated." Sollux said, the smirk returning. Why was he... Bee. Fuck, he was still in the pun stage? Karkat spent all of five minutes grumbling, standing there like an idiot with his mouth hanging open, trying to block the stupid out of his mind. He didn't do a very good job at it.

And Sollux had other plans. If Karkat was going to stand there like a turkey in a rainstorm, than he was going to choose where to enjoy some fine-quality dining. And of course, that meant going to the worst Italian Restaurant in this fucking town. Karkat had managed to keep up with him alright, although there was some obvious silence in before finally snapping out of it.

"I can't fucking believe you got a job at Dersite." He was back to normal, pretty much. It seemed like the idiocy aneurism he just suffered through reminded him of that little fact. Sollux however, was the king of all programmers in that dump of an office. He made all of the best code. All of it. So much so that it was always a threat to the company. But Sollux had no reason to deviate from his work schedule after hacking into the system and 'suggesting' some changes in his paycheck.

It wasn't much, but he was making more than the other nameless grunts. So he could take some amount of pleasure in that one. Plus, getting to meet his old roommate again, and just finding out how hot he was now? Yeah, that was an extra-special bonus. "I happen two bee the best damn worker in that company, KK." Aaaand he was back to using his old pet name for him. Great, way to flirt even more than needed, Captor.

The puns only seemed to delay the inevitable what-have-you-been-doing-lately discussion. They hadn't seen each other in five years, and the two of them used to be best friends, basically. And then college kicked in. What a tumultuous time that was. "So how was college for you? Besides being a denizen of chaos and sexual activity, you know." Right, he forgot about that. Yeah, crazy times.

"Ehh, not too bad. It wasn't at all like high school. But I guess with all the drama from high school came back to bite me in the fucking ass before graduating." He shrugged again. He does that a lot, as far as the other had noticed. "Kinda missed hanging out with you after you moved out." He added with his head down. Yeah, seem more pathetic than you need to.

"Yeah. It was still better than having to sleep in that bed…" Karkat muttered. Of course he wasn't going to finish that statement outright. He wasn't even sure that Sollux even heard it. (He did, he just chose to ignore it.) Karkat went on about mentioning having to live with Equius, and lightly mentioning Nepeta before they arrive at the place. Mia Roma's. Okay, so it wasn't the worst Italian food place. It was alright. Kind of sucked.

"We're eating here?" Karkat says, raising an eyebrow in confusion. But Sollux wouldn't take no for an answer, he already had the door open and everything. This thing was happening. Yes. It. Was. Why did this suddenly seem like a date?

Well fuck.


Hehe, see, rushed. Anyway, sorry about the typo last chapter. C: Sollux really jumped the gun on this one, didn't he? "Just seducthing my boss, don't mind me!"

BTW I'm thinking about writing a single chapter sub-story about Karkat and Eridan's relationship. I've been having strange Erikat feelings lately. Iunno. I have a very particular way of typing out his quirk in speech.

Just some side info here: Sollux and Karkat are both 26, Karkat has a Bachelors. Majored in technical communication and minored in business. Sollux has a Bachelors as well, same major but he minored in engineering. Eridan is 25, and went back to school to get a PhD in (Intentionally hiding that little fact. Hehe.) Karkat is half Russian on his mother's side. Sollux is Japanese. Eridan is European, his parents mainly from Norway and England. Sollux's glasses are more than just for show, his eyesight is terrible. Eridan's are just for show. (reading glasses.) Karkat occasionally wears reading glasses as well, but doesn't need them.