Four days later, Emily found herself sitting next to Gideon in first class heading back to the city she had come to think of as her personal hell. Much to her dismay, Hotch had approved her request, though he had been just as puzzled as she had been to why Gideon had approached her. But it wasn't getting his approval that had caused the delay in her departure; it had been all the paperwork he had to file to allow her to legally carry her weapon on the plane and in France. When it finally went through, Emily had no choice but to let the ex-profiler know that she was available to go.
Emily had hoped to slip out of town without the rest of the team knowing the real reason she was going. She didn't think Gideon would want his personal business known by everyone. All she had initially said was that she was taking some time for personal reasons and Hotch had backed her up. Neither had also been sure how the team would react if they knew Gideon would be accompanying her. For all they knew some members of the team might still be harboring some ill feelings toward the man for his abrupt departure.
But Penelope being Penelope sensed deception afoot and teased from her computer system the real reason for her trip. As soon as JJ had heard that her final destination was Paris, she cornered the brunette in the bathroom. Emily had tried to slip past the blonde because she didn't want to have another heart to heart talk in the ladies room. The last one had ended up with her cryptically saying goodbye to Penelope.
JJ stood with her back to the door and wore a worried look on her face. "Emily, are you sure about this?"
"What do you mean?" Emily asked even though she knew exactly what she had meant.
"You're returning to Paris. A place that played an integral part in one of the worst times of your life," JJ pointed out.
To this day she still didn't know what had happened during the three months her best friend had spent in exile. Emily still refused to talk about it and JJ had her doubts that she ever would.
Emily brushed off the comment. "JJ, it's just a city. There's nothing to worry about. I'll be fine."
The concerned look didn't go away. "That's what worries me. Promise me you'll call the moment you start to feel overwhelmed?"
"I promise," she said sincerely. "But it probably won't even come to that. I should only be there for a day or two at the most."
"Still…" the blonde trailed off and gestured helplessly. "I just worry about you," she confessed.
Emily smiled. "Don't. I'll be fine and I'm not saying it simply to get you off my back. I mean it this time."
JJ considered her words then slowly nodded. "Okay. But if I find out you aren't, I'm going to kick your sorry ass into next week when you get back."
"I'll even bend over for you," Emily said with a laugh.
Hotch had also expressed his own concern but in a more straightforward manner.
"Remember that if you find you are having a bad day, call me regardless of what time it is."
"I will," she agreed with a small smile.
Emily glanced at her traveling companion. Gideon was currently engrossed in one of the magazines he had picked up at a newsstand in the airport. Besides their initial conversation, the two had barely exchanged more than ten words.
"Did you talk with Reid?" she asked.
She had tried to check with him but for some reason the young genius had proven difficult to pin down. She hoped he wasn't under the false impression that she was running away again.
Gideon set the magazine down and took off his reading glasses. "I did."
"And how did it go?"
"It went well," was the definitive answer. He put the glasses back on and returned to his reading.
Emily nodded and turned back to the plane's window. She was sitting next to a complete stranger. Any commonalities they might have shared had vanished the day he had left the BAU. Not that she felt like talking anyways. She was actually looking forward to a quiet flight.
As she gazed out at the seamless blue sky, Emily let her mind wander. To come on this unexpected trip, she had to cancel the second lunch with her mother. That thought took her back to their first. Emily had kept her word and had contacted her mother once she returned from St. Paul. After exchanging a bit of polite conversation they had agreed to have lunch on the following Saturday.
"Sorry I'm late," Elizabeth apologized after the hostess had shown her to the table. "The meeting ran longer that I had expected."
Emily hopped to her feet. "It's okay. I just got here myself," she lied. She had been cooling her heels for twenty minutes and had been considering leaving when her mother made her entrance.
Mother and daughter exchanged an awkward hug before taking their seats. Both picked up their menus. Elizabeth studied hers intently while Emily pretended to read hers since she had made her selection a long time ago. The waiter materialized at their table, seamlessly took their orders and disappeared as quietly as he had arrived.
As Elizabeth placed the napkin in her lap, she took note of the half empty glass of red wine in front of her daughter. Mentally, she kicked herself for her tardiness. Obviously Emily had been waiting longer than a few minutes and lied about it because she had expected her to be late or not to show up. No wonder she doesn't trust me. I keep letting her down, she thought ruefully. Elizabeth briefly considered apologizing again, but decided against it. Her apology would fall on deaf ears because Emily would assume it would be an empty one like all the other ones she had heard over the years.
To cover her doubts, the Ambassador took a sip of her water. "How are you feeling, Lee? I see that you are no longer wearing the sling," she observed.
Emily smiled a little at the term of endearment she used to hear when she was younger. "I'm feeling good, Mother. The collarbone has finally healed so the doctor has given me a clean bill of health."
"Good," Elizabeth said with a genuine smile. "And the case in St. Paul. Did you catch the perpetrator?"
"Yes," Emily answered with a single word, knowing that her mother was simply being polite since she never approved of her career choice.
"Tell me about it if you can."
Emily blinked in surprise. Her mother had never expressed any interest in the cases she had worked. Was she genuinely curious or was she just humoring her? Well there was only one way to find out.
"Uh…sure," she stammered and launched into it.
She held nothing back including what the UnSub had done to his victims because she wanted to see how her mother responded. The Ambassador had her politician face on, but Emily caught her flinching several times throughout the narrative. She also saw the flicker of concern in her eyes when she got to the part where the UnSub had knocked her down the stairs.
"Did he hurt you?" Elizabeth demanded, startling her daughter with her fierceness.
"No," she reassured her mother. "I was just bruised from the fall. The hospital did keep me overnight for observation just to be on the safe side."
"Good for them," she agreed and took a sip of her wine. She personally thought Emily was hurt too often with this job but she didn't put a voice to how she felt. "I know in the past I haven't been supportive of your career choices and made my opinion loudly known. But now I know it's what you're destined to be, and I'm proud of you."
Emily frowned, staring at her mother in disbelief. What had happened to the woman who had disapproved of everything she ever did. "I…I don't know what to say."
Elizabeth smiled over her glass. "Don't say anything. Just take it for what it is, a compliment."
"Okay."
Their lunches arrived putting an end to the conversation. As they ate, Emily asked her mother about her current posting and was quickly brought up to date. Soon that topic was exhausted and an awkward silence fell over the table. Not knowing what to say to each other, the two women focused their attention on finishing their meals.
Elizabeth sat back in her chair and studied her daughter as she inhaled the aroma of her after the meal coffee. Emily had surprisingly turned down the coffee and was now slowly twirling her empty wine glass in circles. 'She's still not comfortable being around me and is anxious to leave,' she thought sadly. She, on the other hand, was enjoying her daughter's company and wasn't ready for it to end.
"Are you still staying at Agent Rossi's place?" she casually asked.
Emily looked up from her contemplation of the wine glass. "Yes."
"Having difficulties finding the right apartment?"
"No," Emily said with a shake of her head. Then she gazed off into the distance like she was considering something. Her eyes came back to the table and gave her mother a tentative smile. "Actually, I'm buying a house."
Elizabeth's eyebrows went up in surprise. "Where?"
"It's a row house in Dupont Circle."
"How did you find it?"
Emily interpreted her mother's reaction as disapproval and dropped her eyes to her empty plate and rearranged the utensils on it. 'I shouldn't have brought it up,' she thought ruefully.
"It's actually one of Morgan's restoration properties. He took me there once, and I fell in love with it," she explained softly.
"I would love to see it."
Emily's head shot up, her brown eyes wide in shock. "Par…pardon me?"
Elizabeth gave her an encouraging smile. "I said that I would love to see it."
Emily was at a loss as to what to do. Her mother was a mass of contradictions today, and it was unsettling. "Really?" she asked dubiously.
"Yes," the Ambassador confirmed.
"Uh…sure," Emily said and dropped her used napkin on top of the empty plate and pushed back from the table while Elizabeth paid the bill. Together, mother and daughter left the restaurant to go tour the house.
The first thing Elizabeth said when she saw the row house was, "I hope you aren't planning on keeping that horrid color."
Emily chuckled as she unlocked the front door. "No, I'm not. Morgan is going to take it back down to the natural brick."
"As in Agent Morgan?" she asked as she followed her daughter inside.
Emily glanced at her mother, again unsure if she was genuinely curious. "Yes. He's going to do the remodel for me." Her shoulders tensed as she waited for her mother's cutting remark.
But Elizabeth merely nodded. Buoyed by the Ambassador's apparent approval, Emily took her on a guided tour of her new house. As they walked through the rooms she explained the changes and additions that were planned. They ended the tour upstairs in what was going to be the master bedroom.
"Morgan is going to finish this bedroom and the master bath first so that I'll have somewhere to stay."
Elizabeth moved over to the windows. "You're not happy at Agent Rossi's?"
"Oh I am," she said with a small smile. "But I don't want to overstay my welcome. I'm sure he would like to have his house back to himself."
"He doesn't strike me as that sort of man. He's probably enjoying your company."
"I know his dog Mudgie certainly is," Emily joked, eliciting a soft laugh from her mother. "I just need to get back out on my own."
"That's understandable," Elizabeth said and gazed out the windows at the street below.
Emily went over to the fireplace and ran a finger over the lintel. When she had gone to restaurant, she had intended to ask her mother a question that had been on her mind since she had returned to the land of the living. Once she had gotten there, she had realized that it was a much too public of a place to have that kind of private conversation. Plus, the longer she had been forced to sit around waiting for her mother to show, she had slowly lost her nerve. But now they were alone in a rundown row house.
She kept her back to the Ambassador. "If you love me as much as you say you do then why didn't you come to my funeral?" she asked in a small voice. "I asked JJ and she said you weren't there."
When her mother didn't answer Emily spun around, dark brown eyes filled with years of abandonment. "Were you too busy notching your political belt with another victory that you couldn't come and pay your respects to your dead daughter? Am I that unimportant to you? That I am merely a footnote in your biography?"
Elizabeth's shoulders hunched at the accusation. "Not at all, Lee."
"Then why didn't you come?" Her voice was filled with pain.
Her mother sank down on the window seat. She gestured for Emily to sit next to her, but her daughter refused, preferring to stand and wrapped her arms protectively around her body. Elizabeth let out a sigh and studied her hands. "I just couldn't."
"Why?" Emily demanded.
"Because I couldn't bear watching them lowering you into the ground. If I came it would have become real. I would have had to face that my daughter was dead and I would never see her again. Never see her brilliant smile or hear her infectious laugh. A mother should never outlive her child." Her voice was filled with grief.
Elizabeth stood up and took a couple of steps toward Emily who was rooted to the spot. "By not going, I could pretend that you were still alive, off visiting some far distant corner of the world and that one day you would walk back into my life. And you did."
She reached out and pulled Emily into hug. "God, I missed you so much," she cried.
This time Emily didn't resist. She felt her anger and hurt evaporate and sank deeper into the embrace. "I'm sorry," she said into her mother's shoulder.
"For what?"
"For causing you all this grief."
Elizabeth pulled back to look into her daughter's face. "There is nothing for you to apologize for, Lee. This wasn't your fault. You didn't have any control over what happened. The person who should hold blame is Agent Hotchner." The Ambassador's mouth was set in a grim line.
Emily immediately recognized that look. It was the look she got when she was about to squash someone under her heel like a bug. She was going after Hotch.
"Mother, please don't do what I'm thinking you are planning," she begged. "Hotch was doing his best to protect me. It may not have been the way I would have chosen, but it worked. He kept me safe."
"But still. The pain he caused me, your team and you is inexcusable."
"Mother, let it go," Emily asked. "For me."
Elizabeth took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She studied her daughter and saw in those dark brown orbs, that she always thought were beautiful, a protectiveness that spoke volumes. The team was her family and she had just threatened one of them.
"If that is what you wish."
"It is."
"Alright," she agreed. "But if he ever hurts you again like that, I won't let him off so easily."
"Thank you," Emily said sincerely.
The two women separated with tentative smiles. Elizabeth returned to the windows and Emily remained by the fireplace. Both were at a loss to what to say or do next after that gut wrenching confession. Should they stick around a little longer or should they make a run for it before something popped up and mucked up this small victory in mending their relationship?
Emily cleared her throat, making Elizabeth turn to look at her. "So what do you think?" she asked nervously, gesturing to the room in general.
The row house seemed liked the perfect, neutral subject to break the oppressive silence that was now hanging over their heads.
Elizabeth smiled. "I think it's perfect for you."
"I hope so," Emily said wistfully as she looked around. She desperately wanted to put down roots and have a sense of permanence.
"Do you need anything?" her mother asked.
The question brought Emily back to the present. "Uh…no. All my furniture and stuff is still in storage."
Elizabeth nodded, remembering that after Emily had died, she had asked Agent Jareau to pack up the apartment for her. At the time it was too painful for her to step inside for everything would have reminded her of what she had lost.
"What about for the kitchen? I'm sure you're going to need new appliances."
Emily frowned slightly. "I guess. I haven't really thought that far ahead. We haven't even started the demolition yet."
"Let me buy them for you," Elizabeth offered.
Her frown deepened. And she shook her head. "You don't need to, Mother," she demurred. "I can afford—"
"Lee, darling, please consider them an early house warming gift," Elizabeth entreated.
Emily hesitated. It was a generous gift. A very generous gift and she should refuse it. She didn't like to be beholden to anyone, especially her mother. But given the look on the Ambassador's face, she wasn't going to take no as an answer. She should just give in. Otherwise they would end up in one of those endless exchanges of yes you can, no I can't and end up mad at each other.
She sighed softly and ran a hand through her hair. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. You'll let me know when you're ready for them? We can go shopping."
Emily had a hard time picturing her mother strolling down the aisles of the local Home Depot. She probably meant shopping online. "I will," she said.
The two women headed back downstairs and to the front door. "I had a nice time," Elizabeth said as Emily locked the door behind them.
"I did too," she agreed, pocketing the house key. She was surprised that she had. Yes, the outing had been filled with plenty of awkward moments, but it had been a pleasing experience.
As they approached the parked cars, the chauffeur hopped out of one. He trotted around and held the back door open for the Ambassador. She gave him a smile, paused in the opening and turned back to Emily who was standing on the curb.
"Shall we have lunch again in a few weeks' time?" she casually asked. They were still in the very early stage of their reconciliation so she didn't want to push Emily into setting a particular time when she wasn't ready. It was best to play it by ear and let her pick the time and place.
"Sure," she said with a nod.
"Promise you'll call when you have some time available? That way I'll be able to clear my schedule so there won't be a repeat of what happened earlier today."
Emily could see her mother was trying. "I promise."
Just like the remodeling of the row house, the lunch date had fallen prey to Emily's hectic work and physical therapy schedule. When she finally had some free time, she ended up on a plane with Gideon. Her mother had understood when she had called to cancel. Surprisingly they had remained on the line for another ten minutes just talking.
Emily sneaked a peek at Gideon and saw that he had fallen asleep with the magazine against his chest and the reading glasses perched on the end of his nose. This suited her just fine, making it easier for her to pretend that she was flying solo. She ordered a Coke from the Flight Attendant, retrieved one of the books she brought along from her carry on, and settled back to spend the rest of the flight reading.
Don't forget to the check out all the nominations and vote for your favorite stories. Last day to vote is February 29. There are a lot of good stories by great writers there. See everyone in two weeks. Until then.
