"Jonathan, the guests will be here any minute and you're not in costume," said Emilia Crane, opening the door to her husband's study.

"I'm just in the middle of some last minute planning, my dear," replied Jonathan Crane, not looking up from his desk.

"You've had all year to plan your Halloween scheme," said Emilia.

"By that logic, you've had all year to plan the Halloween party," retorted Crane.

"I have planned the Halloween party," snapped Emilia. "And if you ruin my plans, I shall be very upset with you. I will not be made out to be a bad hostess in front of our friends. Now put your costume on and come out to the living room at once, or there'll be no Halloween candy for you this year, if you get my drift."

"I'll be out in a moment, my dear, I promise," he said.

Emilia sighed, leaving him. "Serves me right for marrying a criminal lunatic," she muttered.

"Love you!" he called after her.

"Katrina, dearest, can you please stop reading and put your costume on?" asked Emilia, opening the door to her eldest daughter's room.

"I don't want to wear a costume," said Katrina, not looking up from her book. "They're silly."

"Do you think your father is silly for wearing a costume every night when he goes out to fight Batman?" asked Emilia.

"No," retorted Katrina. "It is necessary for him to consistently represent the Scarecrow persona to the people of Gotham for his consistent effect of fear to be felt. It's a psychological effect called reinforcement, to instill a Pavlovian response when the Scarecrow is seen for fear to be felt. I, however, am desirous of no such persona, nor psychological effect, therefore wearing a costume for me is silly."

Emilia just looked at her. "Just put it on," she sighed, shutting the door to her room. "Annabel, dearest, are you dressed?" she asked, knocking on her middle daughter's door.

"Yes, and I must say, I think I make a rather splendid witch," said Annabel, opening the door to her room and beaming. "Did you know the first person to be executed for witchcraft in America was a woman called Alse Young of Windsor, Connecticut in 1647?"

"No, I didn't, my dear," said Emilia. "How very interesting."

"Yes, she was hanged, as were most presumed witches in America, contrary to the popular burning imagery, which was more commonly practiced in European cases of witchcraft," continued Annabel. "The last person executed for witchcraft in Europe was a woman called Janet Horne, in Scotland in 1727, who was, in fact, burned…"

"That's very interesting, my love – have you seen your brother?" asked Emilia.

"He's moving furniture," said Annabel, nodding toward the living room.

Emilia entered the room to see her youngest son, Irving, moving chairs around and bringing plates in from the kitchen. "Irving, dearest, you're such a help," she said, smiling at him.

"Is there anything else I can do, Mom?" he asked.

"Maybe talk your elder sister into putting on a costume?" said Emilia, dryly.

"The day any of us can talk Katrina into doing anything will be a cold day in a commonly believed to be warm afterlife," replied Irving.

"Yes, I don't know where she gets her stubbornness from," sighed Emilia. "I'm blaming her father."

"Yeah, nobody ever called you stubborn, did they, Mom?" asked Irving, grinning.

"Not if they know what's good for them," replied Emilia, kissing his cheek. She smiled at her son as he resumed moving furniture around, which at this point seemed more like busywork than help. "Irving?" she asked. "Are you all right?"

"Of course," he said, rearranging some glasses. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem very fidgety and nervous, and that's not like you," she said. "Something on your mind?"

"Uh…maybe…I'll tell you after the party," he said hastily. "No need to ruin the festive atmosphere on Dad's favorite holiday."

"Is it that bad?" asked Emilia.

"It's not bad, it's just…something I'll tell you after the party," he said. "Something…I've realized…about myself."

"Oh. Sounds serious," said Emilia.

"Well…it is to me," agreed Irving. "Although…I know Dad isn't going to like it. Not one bit."

"Irving, your father loves you unconditionally," said Emilia. "Whatever it is, I'm sure he'll take it in his stride."

"Take what in his stride?" asked Crane, entering the room in his Scarecrow costume.

"Uh…the…uh…company we're having at the party," invented Irving. "Mom invited…some other people."

"Your mother can invite whomever she wants to the party," said Crane. "I trust her implicitly. But personally I thought a small, intimate gathering of our family plus Jervis and Alice would be ideal."

"Yeah, there's…four more people now," said Irving, slowly.

"Irving, that was meant to be a surprise," snapped Emilia.

Crane looked at her. "You didn't," he muttered.

"I like them, Jonathan," snapped Emilia. "I know you and he have had your differences in the past, but that's all water under the bridge now…"

There was a knock on the door. "Anyway, their costumes are always very good," added Emilia, opening the door. "And I see they haven't disappointed this year," she commented.

"Yeah, watch this, we've got this whole routine!" exclaimed the Joker, who was dressed in a purple Darth Vader costume. "J.J., I am your father!"

"No! No, that's not true! That's impossible!" cried J.J., who was dressed in a Luke Skywalker costume.

"Search your feelings, you know it to be true," replied Joker.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed J.J.

"That's a great 'NOOOOOOO!', J.J.," said Joker, proudly. "You sound just like I did when I was Luke Sky...well, never mind," he added hastily.

"Thanks, Dad – I've been practicing," said J.J., smiling at him.

"We thought the Star Wars theme would be pretty perfect, since the kiddos are twins and all," said Joker, gesturing at his daughter Arleen who had her hair done up in side buns over her ears, and was wearing Princess Leia's original costume. "They're just like 'em, except for that weird part in the second movie where they kiss…"

"And my sister's not dating a scruffy-looking nerfherder," agreed J.J. "Yet," he added.

"Harley, I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with who you're supposed to be," said Emilia, as Harley Quinn entered the room dressed in khaki coveralls with a huge backpack-shaped machine on her back.

"I'm a Ghostbuster," said Harley. "Or more precisely, a Batbuster," she said, nodding at the Batman symbol crossed out on her costume. "When there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call?"

"Um…"

"Batbusters!" she finished. "I ain't afraid of no Bat!"

"Why didn't you dress as something from Star Wars like the rest of your family?" asked Emilia.

"I don't like Star Wars," retorted Harley. "I like Ghostbusters, though, and that's also a movie from the 80s, just like the 'I am your father' Star Wars movie. And Ghostbusters involves good guys, bad guys, and supernatural stuff, so it's broadly the same thing."

"Sure, Harl," said Joker, rolling his eyes. "That's the kinda logic you'd expect from the kinda loser who doesn't like Star Wars," he muttered under his breath.

"Besides, I said I'd be happy to go as Luke and Leia's mother, to complete the theme, but Mr. J said we never found out what she looked like," continued Harley. "I thought it was Natalie Portman in the prequels, but Mr. J insists he don't know what I'm talking about."

"Nope," said Joker, firmly. "Never heard of any Star Wars prequels. That's not a thing whose existence I acknowledge."

"O…K," said Emilia, slowly. "Well, see if you can guess our theme," she said, gesturing for her family to gather together as Katrina and Annabel entered the room. "Katrina refused to wear her costume, but I think you can figure it out even with one missing."

The Joker family stared at them. "Uh…something from a book?" guessed Joker at last.

"It was a book and a movie," said Emilia. "Starring Judy Garland."

"Though there were several deviations between the book and film," spoke up Annabel. "The famous ruby slippers were silver in the book, for instance, but it was decided that red would look better on color film…"

"Oh, Wizard of Oz!" said Harley, nodding. "Because of the Scarecrow and all…"

"Yes, Annabel is the Wicked Witch of the West," said Emilia, nodding at her middle daughter. "Katrina was meant to be the Tin Man, I'm Dorothy, and Irving is the Cowardly Lion," she said, nodding at her son.

"Aw, that's cute," said Harley. "And you all match. Wouldn't that be nice, puddin'?" she asked, pointedly.

"Maybe if someone just sucked it up and put her family over her dislike of Star Wars, we'd match too," retorted Joker.

"Maybe if Star Wars had more than one female character in the whole damn trilogy, I would have," retorted Harley.

"Hey, the new one's got a dame!" snapped Joker. "And you could have always been Slave Leia or something!"

"I think I'm a little old to be parading around in something that skimpy," said Harley. "And I didn't much care for dressing skimpy in public even when I was young enough to get away with it."

"Well, that's not what that new movie says, Miss Hot Pants," snapped Joker.

"Hey, I thought we agreed we weren't gonna acknowledge the existence of that either!" snapped Harley. "Unless you want me to mention your new 'damaged' look…"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" interrupted Joker, loudly. "This is not a thing I've ever seen or even heard about, because this is not a thing that exists, so just drop it, all right?!"

"Great costume, Irving," said Arleen, smiling at him. "You can help us re-enact some scenes as Chewbacca - you got the right look for it."

"Th…thank…thank you, A…Arleen," he stammered.

"Irving, for the last time, it's Leenie," said Arleen.

"L…Leenie," he stammered. "You…you also look…um…very…um…in character," he finished, lamely.

"Yeah, the side buns are fun for a day, but I wouldn't make a habit outta it," she laughed.

"You look…wonderful in absolutely anything," he stammered, and instantly started blushing bright red.

"Aw, aren't you sweet to say that!" said Arleen, smiling as she went to go help herself to some punch.

"Outta the way, nerfherder," said J.J., shoving Irving aside as he joined her.

"Is anyone else coming?" asked Harley.

"Yes, Jervis and Alice," said Emilia.

"Yeah, their costumes won't beat ours," said Joker, holding up his lightsaber. "Hey, J.J., let's do the bit where I cut off your hand!"

"Johnny, how's your Halloween scheme coming along?" asked Harley. "I know it's an annual tradition."

"I just put the finishing touches on it before you arrived," said Crane. "Should be quite a show. I'd recommend not being outside between the hours of 8 PM and 3 AM on Halloween night, though."

"Jonathan figures most of the children trick or treating will be in bed," explained Emilia. "And the only people out on the streets then will deserve to be fear gassed."

"Yeah, you gotta be careful of the kiddies," agreed Harley. "Unless they're one of Batsy's, of course. Then they're fair game."

"How is Batman, Joker?" asked Crane, as Joker and J.J. crossed lightsabers. "Have you seen him recently?"

"Yeah, the other night," said Joker, nodding. "To tell you the truth, he seemed a little off with me."

"Off?" repeated Crane. "What do you mean?"

"He just acted a little weird," said Joker, shrugging. "Kept looking at me funny. We've known each other a lotta years now, and I can feel when something about our relationship ain't right. But if he won't talk to me, I can't help him. Communication is the key to any successful relationship, you know."

"Yes, I know," said Emilia, glancing at her son and wondering what he hadn't been communicating. It wasn't like him to keep things from his parents – he had always been very open and honest with both of them. And she couldn't imagine what he could possibly want to hide from his father in particular.

The doorbell rang and Jervis Tetch and his adopted goddaughter Alice appeared at that moment, dressed in predictably Wonderland themed costumes, so Emilia thought no more about it, busying herself temporarily with her hosting duties. She had confidence that Irving would tell her in his own time.