A/N: I wrote this while listening to Just a dream from Carrie Underwood and I must say, at the end I needed to blink a tear away XD.
'This is just a dream…. Or even a nightmare,' Dr. Temperance Brennan-Booth said to herself.
She'd been married to Booth for 5 months now and 3 weeks ago he got shot, because of her, she thought, and he'd died. That rat bastard of a junk they had to arrest for murder, has now got two murders on his name. The murder of her husband. He had leapt in between her and her assailant, nothing on his mind but her safety. She felt a wave of panic rush through her as she thought about how selflessly he had protected them, leaving her and Parker to fend for themselves.
She'd begged him to stay with her, like she'd done back 2 years ago, but nothing helped this time. He had died.
It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white
Going to the church that night
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue.
"Temperance Brennan, will you marry me?" The words Booth had spoken so long ago still had the power to make her world spin. She felt her stomach clench as she remembered how he had looked, sitting on one knee in the middle of their living room, looking up at her with hope in his eyes. Just like then, she felt the love that he had for her. But right now the memory evoked pain in her. A desperate kind of pain that filled her being and left her feeling empty at the end of the day.
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down
Trying to hide the tears
Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her handBrennan looked down at the photo she kept on her desk, her tears now falling freely.
She shook her head, just like when she hadn't believed Seeley Booth was dead.
"Why?" she whispered brokenly. "Why did you leave me alone?"
"I didn't," a voice said.
Brennan's head shot up in disbelief. Booth was sitting on her couch, wearing his wedding suit.
"Booth?!" Tempe whispered, almost inaudibly, shocked that he was sitting in front of her "Why? Seeley, why?"
Booth smiled at her, that smile he had given her when she had agreed to his proposal, his puppy brown eyes sparkling with delight.
"I didn't, Bones."
Temperance blinked her eyes rapidly, the vision of her husband slowly disappearing.
"Stupid visions!" she yelled, wiping away a tear.
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
"Dr. Brennan…-Booth?" Sam Cullen asked, the last time she'd spoken to him was when they had been arranging Booth's funeral.
Eyes full of fury shot to the deputy director of the FBI.
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" she spat. "There's no Dr. Brennan or Dr. Brennan-Booth! I DIED, JUST LIKE MY HUSBAND."
Cullen nodded, putting the box with Booth's belongings on the floor next to the door and left. She took a deep breath to steady herself. She slowly got up and made her way to the box. It felt as if it called to her. She couldn't resist it. She bent down to pick up the box with trembling hands. She clutched it tightly to her chest as she sat down on the couch.
Her breathing was laboured as she slowly lifted the lid off of the box.
It was all in there.
The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could have been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart
A copy of the song that had been played during his funeral, a folded flag that was proof that he would be missed by many. And his gun.
She slowly lifted the gun from the box and studied it.
The gun that he had used to protect her time and time again...
Maybe, just maybe it could keep her safe from the empty life that lay ahead of her too.
She slowly lifted the gun and pressed it against her temple.
As she did that, she could see Booth standing in front of her and heard the determined, soft and comforting sound of his voice. "No, Bones. Don't..."
Her heart missed a beat and her entire body went tense. She blinked her eyes, but as she opened them again, he was gone... She was alone in her office once again.
She sank further into the couch and clutched his gun, the CD and the flag to her chest, in a desperate attempt not to fall apart...
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dreamThe next days didn't get any better, to be honest Brennan was a wreck.
Booth kept visiting her four to five times a day, and Temperance just got worse and worse.
On Cam's advice she went to visit his grave, trying to get a grip on herself.
She touched the cold tombstone, slowly breathing out.
Brennan kneeled in front of her husband's grave.
"Baby, why did you leave me?" she mumbled, knowing he was probably standing right behind her.
"AND DON'T SAY YOU DIDN'T LEAVE, BECAUSE YOU DID!" She shot him an angry look.
Booth looked at his wife speechlessly.
"Booth.." she whispered, tears flowing over her cheeks again.
"I'm sorry but…come back or…" she swallowed deep. "Or just leave me..for real this time, no mind tricks."
Seeley nodded. His vision blurring in front of Brennan's eyes.
Oh,
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, now I'll never know
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream"Bones…Bones." Booth's soft voice spoke to her.
Brennan shot back up.
"I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME!!" she cried.
Seeley's thumb brushed her cheek.
"Honey, were are you talking about?" he asked.
Brennan looked around, then stared at him for several moments.
"A hospital?" she asked.
Booth nodded, and took her hand in his.
"Yeah…You shot in distress and hit your head, for a moment I feared for both your and the baby's life."
Brennan looked at her abdomen...their baby.
Oh, this is just a dream
Just a dream
Yeah, Yeah
Temperance started laughing.
"I was just a dream… Just a dream... thank god."
"What dream?" a puzzled Booth asked.
Brennan just laughed and kissed her husband.
"I love you, Seeley Booth. Don't ever leave me."
