Michelle's heavily black lined eyes were wide as she glared at Carla causing her to bow her head in shame. She knew Michelle could hear Heather's screams coming from inside same as she could and she felt embarrassed and ashamed that she had been caught trying to run out on her daughter. Michelle wasn't close enough to see that Carla was completely intoxicated but as she slowly continued her assent up the stairs she began to get a better idea of what was really wrong with Carla. She examined her friend closely and gagged when she smelt the booze that seemed to be lingering around her. She was horrified to see the state of her but kept quiet whilst they were out in the hall not wanting to provide a show for the neighbours.
Since Peter and Carla's break up she had only been seen in the street and at the factory. She had kept herself to herself and been quiet about how she was. In fact she was retreating into herself, somewhat hermit like and pretending she could cope. Everyone had their doubts though, Michelle, Rob and even the girls at the factory. Hayley and Michelle had been chatting earlier when they had expressed their concerns regarding Carla and that was why she had come round this evening to try and help her. Disgusted with the state in which she found her, Michelle grabbed Carla's arm as she came level with her, twisted it and forced her to look her in the eye.
Carla could see the anger behind Michelle's eyes as they began to cloud and from the pressure she was applying by digging in her fingers to Carla's arm she knew that she was furious. She felt nervous and sick all at the same time as Michelle witnessed the tears form in her eyes. There was a moment of understanding between them before Michelle wrapped her arm around Carla's shoulders and carefully guided her to the front door. She took Carla's bag from her and rummaged inside for the flat keys to let them in. She gently manoeuvred a gormless looking Carla back inside and shut the door behind them. The second it closed she noticed Carla sadly drag herself back to the sofa and flop down on it. She shook her head in frustration and stared for a second in disbelief.
Crossing her arms she marched up too Carla and stood firmly at her side. How dare she think that the crying infant down the hall was to be ignored. She wouldn't stand by and let it happen. Reaching down she grabbed Carla's arm again and using all her strength hoisted her on to her feet. She took grip on the tops of both of her arms and gave her a gentle shake as if trying to force some life back into her. Her eyes were still wide and intimidating as they pierced into Carla. She couldn't look at Michelle, it was too intense for her to cope. Her body lost all sense of supporting itself as she tried to flop back down onto the sofa in a lifeless state but Michelle held tight, forcing her to stand on her feet and supporting her. She was infuriated by Carla's disregard for her daughter and felt her frustration and emotion getting the better of her.
"Carla..." she screamed to get her attention. As her head slowly lifted and their eyes met again she continued. "That is your daughter in there, the one screaming away because she needs her mummy" yelled Michelle to be heard over the deafening screams of baby Heather. She sounded terribly distressed thought Michelle but Carla didn't even seem to care, she knew she must but she seemed numb right now and as if she hadn't a care or concern for a thing. Michelle didn't understand it, as a mother herself she knew it was the toughest thing to hear your child so upset so she was struggling to come to terms with the fact Carla was finding ignoring such a fierce amount of screaming so easy.
"Do you even care Carla?" she questioned with a frown as she released Carla.
As Carla looked at Michelle she narrowed her eyes and stared at her with an equally intense gaze. She didn't care at all, with no emotion and no feeling she blankly replied to Michelle's question. "No"
Shocked and actually quite upset by Carla's reaction Michelle let her go and watched as she flopped down on the sofa with about as much life about her as a corpse. Michelle was becoming increasingly annoyed with Carla's attitude but she hadn't the time to deal with her right now. Heather was clearly distressed and needed her attention more than her mother did. Huffing she stormed away from Carla, quickening her pace as she headed down the hall in the direction of the cries.
Michelle opened the door to Carla,s bedroom to find it in darkness. With the door open the only light was that coming from the hall which provided a sliver enough for Michelle to see the Moses basket beside the bed. She fumbled for the light switched and flicked it illuminating the room. As she approached the crib shivers ran through her at how shrill poor Heather's screams seemed. Peering into the crib she could see that her little cheeks were red and her she sounded hoarse. The poor little thing had exhausted herself and was only pausing to draw in what could only be described as extraordinary amounts of oxygen before continuing on. Michelle cooed softly, trying to calm her as she reached into to lift her out. She had been kicking and batting her little limbs until she felt Michelle touch her and she suddenly went rigid. She was hot and sticky, covered in a layer of sweat and clearly been neglected for what Michelle could only assume had been hours. Holding the baby close she gently rocked her in her arms to sooth her as a little tickle in her throat caused her to cough and splutter as she calmed.
Back in the living room Carla suddenly became aware that the background noise of her daughter's cries had faded into a light whimpering and a few coughs that she could just hear over Michelle hushing her. It didn't change her feelings though, she still resented Heather for being a product of her father and she subconsciously knew that punishing their daughter because of the hatred she felt for Peter was unfair but her feelings seemed too far beyond her own control. When she heard Michelle's footsteps coming out of the bedroom she made a split second decision she was not proud of and made another attempt to run for it. She grabbed the keys from the side and slammed the front door behind her just seconds before Michelle appeared at in the living room and called out to her.
Outside in the cool and quiet of the hallway again Carla leant back against the door and took a deep breath. She was on the verge of doubting her decision when she heard Michelle call her name. Panicking and feeling in need of something to numb her feelings that seemed to be resurfacing Carla literally ran down the stairs and out of her building as if she were frightened. As the fresh night air outside hit her she stopped, taking a minute to collect herself. Slowly stumbling to her car as her head pounded and her body began to shake she fumbled with her keys in her hand to get it unlocked. As she scrambled into the front passenger seat she rammed the keys into the ignition and started it before she even had the door shut. Her hands gripped the wheel and she left her belt dangling pointlessly at the side of the seat. Slamming the gear into reverse she stalled. That should have been enough for her to see she was too intoxicated to be driving but she didn't care about that either now. Nothing really mattered without Peter in her life.
Restarting the car she tried again, whizzing it out of the space quicker than she should have. She had no caution in manoeuvring the vehicle and struggled with the gears to get it going. The second she had it in another gear she pressed the accelerator to the floor and sped the car out onto the street. Unbeknown to her she was disorientated, zig zagging across the road and struggling to keep focused and in control but she managed to make it far enough away from her flat. She was slower as her car rolled onto Rosamond Street and stopped just outside the bookies, where even the sight of Peter's name made her feel hate. Stopping the car and cutting the engine she got out of the car and fell straight to the cobbles, her legs like jelly and unable to support her weight. Pulling herself up onto her hands and knees she tried to push herself up in a less than graceful manner.
"Carla?" quizzed a familiar voice that made her skin crawl. Using her car to haul herself back up, Carla tried to ignore his presence. Unfortunately they locked eyes across the roof on her car and he scowled. What was she doing? He didn't have to be a rocket scientist to see she was drunk. A horrible thought suddenly hit him and he peered into the car to see Heather's baby seat in the back but couldn't tell if she was in there or not.
"Carla, please tell me she's not..." he started and she detected worry but anger in his voice.
Frowning she stared at him and snapped back a response. "No Peter, she is not"
A flood of relief washed through him, he knew he had abandoned his daughter with Carla but he knew he was in no fit state to care for her. Looking at Carla properly now he realised maybe neither was she. Setting aside the hateful feelings he had for her he hurried round to support her as she wobbled trying to get away from the car. His arm wrapped around her back but she shrugged him off instantly, she wasn't there to see him nor did she need his help. But in reality Carla didn't know why she was there. She had gone out for booze but it was too late for anything there to be open. Turning back to the car she went to get back behind the wheel when Peter grabbed her arm.
"Oh no you don't Carla, you could kill someone, probably yourself"
He pretended not to care as he lectured her but truth was he still had some feelings for her, but when she was in this state he was less than forgiving. Carla had started drinking again in the final month of her pregnancy. She had become heavily depressed with it and was struggling to cope. At first she had been taking doses on the sly but when Peter had tasted it on her lips one day he had been furious. He had done everything he could think of to try and wean her off of it and when Heather had been born he thought he'd won the battle. After six weeks she had started again. He'd come home to find her spark out in the bathroom and Heather alone and crying. That is when he'd packed his bags and left for good, she needed a wake up call and he was fed up with having to support her when she was slowly dragging him down with her. Now here she was, having not learnt her lesson and acting like a stubborn child.
"So...I don''t care" she snapped as she snatched her arm from his grasp and continued her descent into the drivers seat. Peter grabbed her again somewhat violently and pulled her back out of the car where he slammed the door shut and snatched the keys from her hand.
"Look at you Carla, you are pathetic!" he snarled as he looked at her with contempt.
"Get off me!" she yelled, snatching back her arm when in her bag her phone started ringing loudly. She rolled her eyes and wobbled on the spot as she tried to search for it. Finding in she pulled it out as Peter watched her with a less than impressed look upon his face. Snatching it from her he saw it was Michelle but it rang off before he had a chance to answer. He clicked the button to return the call, maybe Michelle could help him with the mess of a woman standing before him.
At the apartment Michelle was relieved to have finally got Heather settled and asleep in the crib. Returning to the living room she headed for her bag in search of her mobile to call Carla and see where she had gotten to. She was highly frustrated and annoyed with her now, she tapped her foot impatiently as it rolled to voice mail and then hung up. There was no point leaving Carla a message, she already knew Michelle was angry. She squeezed the phone tightly in her hand and looked around the room when her eyes caught on something upon the floor. She was about to go over and start investigating when the phone started ringing in her hand distracting her. It was Carla.
"Carla, where are you?" she quickly spat.
"Michelle, 'iya. Listen it's Peter. Carla has turned up here, she's a state..."
Michelle interrupted him. "Oh thank god. Is she ok?" Michelle asked her voice laced with panic and relief.
"She drove here Michelle. She's drunk!" he yelled.
"You couldn't bring her home could you?" questioned Michelle. "It's just that I've got Heather and she is settled" she continued to explain. Peter reluctantly agreed but didn't see why she was his responsibility. Grabbing Carla he yanked her around to the passenger side of her car and threw her in. She tried to fight him but he overpowered her knowing that what he was doing was for her own good. He hurried round and into the driver seat and started the car. Speeding away he rushed in an attempt to have her out of his care as soon as possible, she was not his problem and he vowed she never would be again.
