APOV
I was sitting on the sofa in the living room of our newest residence. We'd just bought a small villa in the outskirts of Paris since everyone in the family seemed to think that the location will at least make me happy. Still, no one was surprised that even my shopping madness ebbed after being forced apart from the best friend I ever had. I still don't understand why we all decided to listen to Edward, but he did have a point. Maybe Bella will be better off without us all since he was adamant in not returning. The rest of us being there would always both endanger her and never let her forget about him.
I took advantage of the fact that he was gone on one of his rare feeding sprees and took the liberty of saying in my head all those things I would've wanted to tell him, but knew that would hurt him too much. I tried to imagine how I would feel if I were in Bella's shoes right now and Jasper had left me. I shuddered and Jazz, who was sitting right across from me, reading, noticed or more exactly felt my pain. Loving as always, he walked to me and hugged me.
"I'll never leave you, and you know it."
He sent me a big wave of calm and love as he whispered that into my ear. I had been blessed, from the first moment I saw him I knew he was the one. And he really has been the one constant presence in my life ever since, even if that implied having to change his whole lifestyle for me. Knowing that every day is a struggle to him, a war that he fights with himself for my sake, makes me love him even more. I told him that and he smiled. It was the first real smile I'd seen on him since that fateful night. We all told him it wasn't his fault, but he wouldn't hear it. I didn't need to be a mind reader to know that he was taking the responsibility of having ruined Bella and Edward's relationship, since Edward had been repeatedly trying to convince him that something similar was bound to happen eventually. Sadly, those were some of the few occasions in which my brother talked. Of course, he was always the silent type but now that silence was disturbing. He didn't play the piano anymore either. He tried one, shortly after our departure.
It had been little under one month since we left. We were all busy with things around the house, trying to busy our minds, as always. Esme and I were in the living room, looking over some blueprints for a vacation house in the Amazonian jungle. Edward had just come back from a hunt with Jasper and Carlisle. Even if we tried to be subtle around him, I'm sure my brother must have noticed Jasper's gaze stopping on me. He half-smiled. I knew he had remembered that it was what we called our "anniversary". Each year, we celebrated the day we met. It was more valuable to us than any other day. It was the day or lives truly began. The day we found our home in each other's arms. Although a bit happy Jasper remembered, it made me sad to see Edward cringe at what he must've seen in our minds. His eyes focused on something in front of him, but I knew that he was only bodily there. His mind was where he'd left his heart, in a small town near Washington. We were getting worried that all this reminiscence might make him snap and go insane. Lord knows nothing is more dangerous than a crazy vampire, but we weren't afraid for ourselves. We had no reason to do so. But we did worry for him. I tried to see what he was going to do next, and then I was pleased to see a calm but sad Edward playing the piano. Just as my vision faded, Edward walked to the piano and sat on the chair. What followed had everyone rush to the room. His fingers produced the most beautiful yet heartbreaking song we'd ever heard. I tried to figure out if it was a lullaby or a funeral song. I realised it was both. While Jasper and I celebrated the day we met every year, Edward would forever both curse and cherish the day he met Bella. I knew my brother. I knew that his love for her would never fade away and that he would never as much as glance at another woman. For just one moment, I started to think that maybe being happy for such a short while wasn't worth the pain Edward will most probably have to live endure throughout eternity. What I didn't realise is that the music was changing. It was getting more and more violent. His hands travelled across they keyboard frantically. I could do nothing, because I saw it a moment before it happened: Edward ruined the piano, sobbing and shaking his head. I realize he was silently answering my unspoken question, which made me feel sad and embarrassed at the same time. I had just rubbed the cruel facts in my hurting brother's face.
Moments later, Edward and Carlisle returned from their hunt. Carlisle had to literally drag Edward out of his room. He usually had to bring Bella into his arguments, but since Edward cringed at hearing her name, none of us ever mentioned it anymore; he only said things like "She wouldn't want you to do this" or "She would want you to take care of yourself."
Today had not been different. Edward seemed to want nothing more than to be left alone, in a useless attempt to starve himself to deaf. Still, something was going to happen. I could feel it. There were a lot of plans boiling into his mind, but they were changing too quickly for me to catch little more than bits and pieces. Finally, one of them became clear.
"No you are not! " I practically screamed.
His decision must have been influenced by something one of us had just thought. Still, who influenced his decision was the least important thing right now because the most important thing was to convince him to change his mind.
"You will not leave us. You can't even take care of yourself."
"Alice..."
That was the last coherent thing I heard, I mean really heard. I don't think blacking out is possible for a vampire, but what I felt was very similar. I couldn't reattach myself to the present, and all my senses except the one that made me different were ... hazy, to say the least. I could hear my family and Jasper yelling at me but it was as if I was submerged in water. But at least I could see. And what I was seeing was tragic. Bella was dead. I couldn't see her, no matter how hard I tried and that could only mean one thing. Her future ceased to exist. She was dead. I tried to find something prior to that moment, to find out when it would happen and what I could do to prevent that because nothing could stop me from trying to save her. I wrecked my brains and still had nothing. I fell to my knees and sobbed. Edward was also on the floor, but he was curled in a ball, his body sobbing uncontrollably and murmuring words no mortal would've had a chance of hearing.
"No.... No... Not her... Not Bella... No God, please, not her....No, God...No..."
Everybody else was grieving as well, and I could see on Jasper's face that the whole situation was beyond everything he'd ever felt before. Right now, his gift was more of a curse than mine or Edward's had ever been. Speaking of which, Edward seemed to have calmed down, hiding his pain in himself again. He was now sitting on the floor, hugging his knees and rocking back and forth.
" There's no God..." He declared. As heartbroken as we all were now, I couldn't let him think that. Bella wouldn't have wanted him to think that way.
"No, Edward, there is. He Is just not as merciful as we thought Him to be" I thought at him, getting close enough to hug him. Over his shoulder, I looked at the rest of our family. Carlisle was comforting Esme and , strange as it may seem, Emmett was holding a sobbing Rosalie, an incredulous expression on his face. I didn't know whether he was surprised by Rosalie's reaction or by Bella's sudden demise. Maybe both. Jasper placed his hand on my shoulder, then sat on the floor beside me and hugged me from had to be unitesd now that everything was lost for our friend and brother. We knew he'd need us now more than ever.
Esme and I had been planning to move back in South America, thinking that maybe if there was just one continent between them, Edward would have eventually caved in and went back to Forks. It was all in vain now. My sister, his mate, was forever gone. And I feared what would become of this family now. But most of all, I feared for Edward. I only hoped we wouldn't have to go though extreme measures to keep him safe. There had to be a God out there. His help was the only thing that could help our family survive this.
Hello again. I apologise it took so much time to update. Thing is, I'm a senior and I have a lot of exams in the near future so I hope you'll cut me some slack. Chapter 3 is almost finished too, but there are still some loose ends I need to tie before I publish it as well.
In the meantime, I want you do so something for me and that is to review. I'm a bit sad since I've had more people than I expected reading the first chapter but no one reviewed it. I know that bing my first fanfic, it might suck, but if it does, please tell me. On the other had, if you like it, please tell me as well. It doesn't have to be anything huge, just "I like it"/"it's nice"/"I hate it"/"It sucks" would be more than enough. Thank you for reading.
Adrienne
