Emma sat on her sofa at home, a glass of wine in hand, and Netflix playing Friends in the background. But she wasn't really paying attention to what was on her TV screen, mostly what was on her laptop. She knew she had went too far with him today. She could have just said she wasn't interested, but instead she decided to take out all of her negative feelings from her past relationships and hurl everything at him.
She sighed, she knew she was going to have to apologize. But, she was hoping to find a reason that she was right and then make the need null and void. She was researching him. She had learned a few things from her brother the sheriff. And first thing she did was pull up the articles of what had happened making the community service necessary.
She almost spit out her latest sip of wine, the sheriff that pulled him over was her brother. "Why didn't he tell me about this?" She thought back to conversations at Thanksgiving. "Okay… maybe he did, but I tuned out." She looked at the time, just after 8 o'clock, and reached for her cell.
It rang twice, and she smiled at the "Hello?" on the other end.
"Hey David."
"Emma. Not that I'm not happy to hear from you. But why are you calling, you don't usually call during the week."
She laughed, "Everything is fine. We have a new volunteer at work, that you actually know. And I just wanted to call to snoop." She heard laughing on the other end as they started to talk all about Killian Jones.
===∞∞∞∞∞===
Emma walked to her office and sat her bags down, and went to go look for Killian. While he was the bad boy of NASCAR. Yes, she did now know what the sport was called after her research. She did find out some interesting things, which meant he deserved an apology.
Her brother had only said nice things, except for the speeding part of course. She had found that he was only in the states for the last four years, after a couple incidents during some Formula One races. The details were sketchy. But what she found out, that caused her to want to apologize, was what she found in his bio.
She looked at the back room, looked in the kitchen. Looked to see if he was getting coffee. Nothing. She started to walk to Archie's office. Her mind replaying what she found. His father seemed to be missing from the bio, which led her to believe he didn't know him or had left when he was young. His mother died before he was a teen, and his older brother, just barely of legal age raised him.
She watched the kids playing or reading around her, as she walked to the office. The kids that were around his age when he lost his mother. She sighed. She wasn't looking forward to this. She saw Archie at his desk working, again no Killian. "Hey." She said, and Archie looked up. She suddenly had a pit in her stomach, did he go volunteer somewhere else because of what she said.
"Emma, what can I help you with?"
"I… ahh… I haven't seen Killian around. Is he done volunteering?"
Archie smiled, "Oh no, he's with us most of the month. But he has a few days here and there at other places. He is at the animal shelter today. They are doing an autograph session, all funds go to the shelter and also hopefully people will adopt while they are there."
She nodded, "Sounds like a good plan."
"Agreed. We can't exactly do that here, but he's been doing a good job. Hasn't been slacking or taking his time. And the kids really like him."
She swallowed, and nodded, "Good to hear. Okay then, I've got to get back to work."
"Oh Emma…"
Emma peaked her head back in to look at her boss. "Yeah?"
"He'll be back on Monday."
"Oh. Okay." She headed back to her office.
Archie then turned back to his computer with a smile.
===∞∞∞∞∞===
"So when are you getting in?" Killian asked and then took a sip of his beer.
"We should be in around 4 o'clock on Sunday, little brother."
"Younger brother, Liam, I have told you…"
His brother laughed over the phone, "And I have said when you get taller than me, then I will change it…"
"Liammmm," Killian whined and then took a large drink from the bottle.
Laughter greeted him, and then he could hear the phone shifting, being filled with a sweet voice, "Is he being mean again Killian?"
He smiled at Elsa's voice, he nodded with a pout she couldn't see, "Yes, he is."
"I am not!" he could hear in the back ground, with a loud shhhh from his wife.
"Are you sure you don't mind me, the boys and your overbearing brother staying with you for a whole week? We could get a hotel…"
"Elsa, I want you here. I have this big house all to me-self. It would be nice to have it filled with family for Christmas." He took another sip of beer, "Besides this close to the holiday, it would be too hard to find a room."
"Killian, I don't want to impose, we can find…"
He shook his head, "Elsa. I really want you, those adorable munchkins and my idiot brother here with me for Christmas."
"We can't wait to see you either. The boys are very excited to see their Uncle." He can hear a shuffle over the phone, "Okay, here is your older brother back."
He smiled, he always liked Elsa. She had his back with his teasing brother. "So Killian, how is the community service going?"
Killian sighed, "It could be worse." He then thought about Emma's words and his heart sank, "It could be better."
"Who is she?"
Killian choked on his beer, "Excuse me?"
"I was beginning to believe I wouldn't ever hear that tone in your voice again."
"Liammm, stop. There isn't anyone..."
"Please tell me brother, just please tell me she isn't a racing groupie."
He rolled his eyes, "She is not a groupie!"
"Ahhh hah! I knew it." Liam laughed, "Tell me all about her."
Killian sighed, "Liam, it's… she's…" He hung his head, "She hates me. It doesn't matter."
"What did you do?"
"Why do you assume it was something I did?"
"Because I know you."
"Thanks a lot, brother. But honestly, I didn't do anything wrong."
"What did you do?"
And with that Killian told him everything he knew about Emma Swan. From her blonde hair and green eyes, to the way she liked her coffee. How she had liked sweets, and how she had told him she had no interest and exactly what she thought of him. "So, as I said. She hates me, and it is pointless to try anything further, but to try to stay out of her way so I can finish my hours." He sighed again, "Because I can't afford upsetting her further, the center refusing my hours, and Regina keeping me from racing next year."
Liam didn't say a word for a minute, he didn't say anything. Killian moved the phone from his ear to look to see if it was still connected. "Liam?"
"I'm here, just thinking." A loud breath came over the line, "You want my honest opinion?"
"Well that would be the most helpful."
"Sounds like she isn't angry at you."
Then Elsa's voice chimed in, "Agreed, she's angry at men in general, or men in her past."
"Bloody Hell, am I on speaker phone?"
"Sorry Killian, I hear you talking about a woman, and I got excited. I'm just going to go tuck the boys into bed."
With that, he could hear the phone click, his brother laugh, "She's right, though, little brother."
Killian ran his hand through his hair, and partially listened to the rest of the conversation and said goodbye. In one week his family would be there. A couple of those days he was scheduled to still volunteer, he just hope he would still be allowed to. No matter what his brother and Elsa said, he knew his best bet, was just to avoid her. Not anger her, and not get his sorry ass thrown out.
Emma was early Monday morning to work, carrying a large stack of case files, amongst her other things. She dropped them all off at her desk, and started her search. She started with the break room since she needed to get her coffee as well. She frowned when it was empty, but made her own cup. She then left there and headed for Archie's office, but no one was there. She walked to the kitchen and found Granny already there putting bread into the oven.
"Morning, Granny."
"Morning Miss Swan." She straightened back up and moved over to her cutting board, "Storage is all cleaned up and tidy. He did a great job."
She did a double take at the older woman, and then gave a soft smile. Nothing ever got past those eyes of that woman. "I'm sure he did."
"I believe we got all the supplies in for the stockings." she let the information hang in the air as she continued cutting the carrots.
Emma smiled, "Good to know." She said and walked out of the kitchen with a sip of her coffee. She headed back to the warehouse where he had wrapped gifts the other day. Trying to keep the mysteries of Santa still intact for the younger children if possible. She slowly opened the door and poked her head inside.
There he was, taking one of the felt stockings, and putting in the various small gifts into it. A small pack of crayons, a deck of go fish or other card game, a candy cane, a small chocolate santa, pair of gloves, a pack of gum, and a small plastic slinky. It wasn't much, but it would make the children happy. He hadn't notice her come in. She leaned against the door frame, and then with a sigh, "Morning."
Killian almost dropped the stocking, she had scared him. He looked up quickly, confirmed the voice, and then looked back down. He had been trying to avoid her. "Morning Miss Swan, is there something I can do for you?" It took all his willpower not to call her love, since she hated it so much.
Emma could tell that he was deliberately not looking at her. "I… uhhh… no. I don't need anything." Why was she having trouble saying it. She just needed to apologize. But his demeanor was making her feel like he didn't want her there. Shocking Emma, after what you called him.
"Well then, if you don't need me for anything. There are quite a few of these to do, and I know Dr. Hopper would like them all done before I leave today." He put the stocking in the box and then moved onto the next, still not looking up at her.
Emma sighed, "I just wanted…"
At that he took a breathe and then looked up at her, but his eyes just wouldn't meet hers. "Listen Miss Swan. You have told me exactly how you feel. I have taken the hint. I will not pester you any further."
"But…" she tried to interrupt.
"I will stay out of your way. I will do what the Shelter needs of me. I will earn my hours, and I will be out of your hair, lo-Miss Swan." He grimaced at what he almost said, and then looked back down at his stockings. "Now, I should get back to work." With that he turned his back to put more things into the stocking.
She swallowed hard, and backed out of the room. With a heavy heart she walked back to her office. He didn't want to talk to her, heck he didn't want to look at her. She needed to get back to work. Maybe she could figure out another way to say she was sorry.
Lunch was over and Emma went to the kitchen much earlier than she usually did. She figured this might be her best bet to apologize. She got two oatmeal cookies from Granny and made her way back to the warehouse. She opened the door and was surprised. All the stockings were done, boxed up, and everything was cleaned.
She headed to Archie's office to try and see what Killian was doing now. When she got there, her boss was sitting at his desk reading his email. He saw her and motioned her in, "Emma, what can I do for you?"
"Just seeing what hard work you have our guest doing now. I figured he could use the sugar to keep up his energy." She said while holding up the cookie.
Archie smiled, "He did well with those stockings. I'm surprised he got them done this morning. But he's out for the rest of the day."
"What?"
"The toy drive in town took a page from the shelter last week. He's there doing autographs and pictures for the contribution of toys."
"Oh." She looked at the cookies, "Well, would you like one?"
"Thank you, I love oatmeal," he said and reached for the cookie. He then turned back to his computer. "He'll be back tomorrow."
Emma nodded and headed to her office. Leaving the guilt to stir in her stomach for another day and her mind left to wonder what other heartache those blue depths had gone through. I guess I have another night of research ahead of me, she thought.
She was decked out in her pajamas, actually a cami and yoga pants, and walked back to the couch with a glass of wine. She opened her laptop, queued up some music. And then started to search. She wanted to know what happened in Europe, why did he leave? He had a good career, even won a the championship one year. He was on his way to win another one, when things seemed to go wrong.
She sipped her wine, and kept following the links. The problem seemed to have started just over four years ago. There seemed to have been a change in him, but why she couldn't figure out. Killian seemed to have started to single out other drivers, deliberately taking them out of the race. The only link, all the cars he crashed where from a Gold Racing. There was nothing stated in the articles. But there had to be a reason for it.
She turned to Youtube, and watched his interviews. He gave plenty of interviews, filtering with the camera and the female interviewers. But around the same timeframe the interviews stopped. He would wave reporters away, storm off to his trailer. Then there was the news that he was leaving the series. He left while the year was still going.
Emma looked up from her computer, took another sip of her wine. "It doesn't make sense." She said to no one. "What the hell happened?"
She put her laptop on the coffee table and started walking around her living room, drinking as she did so. Trying to piece it all together. Use what her brother taught her about being a cop. There wasn't any crash where he got hurt. Thank goodness. He didn't have problems with his manager or crew until the incidents. There wasn't anything listed about a vedeta with Gold Racing. She couldn't find incidents of where those drivers ever did anything negative against him.
"If it isn't racing…" She smiled, "Then it's personal." She sat back down and started looking at pictures. Pictures of him winning races. Winning the championship. Waiting for the race to start. The only people ever there with him not part of the race team, if anyone was, was his brother and sometimes his sister-in-law. Which was peculiar.
There was no reason he should be single. Not that she was interested. Bull shit, she told herself. But with as many women who threw themselves at him, there was just no way. "Unless, he didn't have one, he has several." She shook her head at herself. There was no reason to be rude.
She hated to do it, but she went over to the Sun newspaper. Emma hated looking at the gossip rags, but she was getting desperate. She typed his name in the search bar, and then weighed through the articles. There seemed to be only a couple blurred images, of him and a woman together. Various times.
It looked like it could be the same woman. Brunette and slim, but nothing else could be made out. Sunglasses, scarfs around her head. Him in a ball cap and sunglasses as well, in the middle of the night. They did not want pictures, hands up, usually a middle finger with them. Emma smiled at that. She looked at the date of the articles, if it was the same woman, they were together for at least two years… prior to when the incidents started.
"Interesting," she headed over to the US gossip sites and started to look him up as well. This time, not the same woman. And neither of them hid. However, it seems to be different women in the pictures. Not just the same one. None of them seemed to repeat either.
It felt all too familiar. "Heartbreak." She knew all too well about it. How many times had she done the same thing, after a bad breakup. On to just one night stands. Not willing to get your heart broken again.
She took another drink. There was only one thing that didn't make sense. Why try to crash the other cars. It wasn't like it was just one driver, like another driver stole her… She looked up, "Shit!"
Emma googled Gold Racing. She looked over the main website, and found it was owned by Robert Gold. Nothing else was of course on the website. So she went back to the Sun, to look him up. And then her mouth hung open. Mr. Gold was married to a slim brunette named Milah. This time there were clear pictures of her. Even though Emma did not want to admit it, the woman was beautiful and much younger than her husband.
She finished her wine, and poured some more. Then googled Gold's wife. Pictures, pictures, more pictures. And then Emma gasped as she read the headline, "Wife of Robert Gold of Gold Racing found dead." Her heart rate increased as she clicked the link. Her mouth hung open as she read the article, with her heart breaking.
Emma sat her wine glass down, and clicked another article, and read that as well as the next and the next. She couldn't help but notice the date of the woman's death was just about a week before Killian had started targeting other drivers of Gold Racing. From the articles it was declared the woman had deliberately overdosed on various medications while at home, her husband having come home to find her dead on the bathroom floor.
Her heart hurt, her brain was running in circles. In some ways she wished she had never looked it up. In others she was trying to tell herself it could all be coincidence. That the woman might not be one in the same. But she knew that wasn't the case. She just had to figure out a way to see him tomorrow, appologize, but not let him know what she had figured out.
Killian leaned against the door frame to Archie's office. "Morning."
The redhead looked up at him, then at his clock and then back. "You're early."
"Trouble sleeping, so I got up early. So… what am I doing today?"
"We had a bunch of toy donations over the weekend."
"I'll get them wrapped like the last ones."
"Perfect." Killian started to turn and leave Archie's office. "Oh, Killian. We have a fundraising event on Friday night."
Killian nodded, "I know. It's already on my schedule."
"Fantastic."
With that he headed back to the warehouse where the presents and gift wrap were waiting for him. He had to admit, after wrapping so many, he was getting pretty good at it. He rubbed his forehead. He had not slept well the night before. He couldn't get her out of his head. Part of him wanted to know what she was going to say the yesterday, but at the same time, he couldn't bare to hear her what her come back was.
He yawned as he cut another sheet of gift wrap. He needed another cup of coffee, he looked at his watch and shook his head. Right now there was no way he could chance heading to the break room, because she would be there getting her own coffee.
He tapped the one edge of the paper to the box when the door opened. He looked up, and the person he was trying to avoid was there in front of him. She looked hesitant, much like the day before. He took a breath, "Can I help you?"
Emma walked into the room and stuck out her hand with a red starbucks cup. "I'm not as observant as you are, so I don't know how you like it. But this is black." She motioned to the small paper bag in her other hand with her own cup of coffee. "But there is creamer, and sugar, and artificial sweetener in here."
He wasn't sure what to make of this. He looked at the cup in her hand, and then back to her. He accepted the cup and took it from her, "Thank you." She then handed him the paper bag, and he took it as well. He took a sugar and stir from the bag, took off the lid to the coffee, added the sugar, stirred and looked back up at her.
She shifted on her feet in front of him, "I don't know exactly what to say, or how to say…"
"You don't need to say anything."
"I do. What I said last week. I shouldn't have said that."
"Miss Swan…"
Emma winced, "I'm sorry."
Killian blinked a few times, but couldn't speak.
"You are right… and damn that is not easy to say." She gave a small laugh, which seemed to lighten the mood because he did too. "I didn't know you at all. I had no right to say that to you. Forgive me?"
He took a deep breath, looked into her deep green eyes. Then his own traveled down to her lips that she was biting, and then back to her eyes. Maybe Elsa was right. "Forgiven lo- Miss Swan."
She noticed the almost slipup. "The sorry is for everything I said, even your habits and culture." He smiled, she remembered what he had said. She let out a breath, "Okay, on that note. I need to get to work. I'll see you around." She turned and started through the door.
"See you around, love," he said with a smile. She grinned at the term, only he couldn't see it as she walked out of the room.
