Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

Story Warnings: Depression, cutting/self-harm, Eating Disorder, and abuse.

Chapter Rating: T

Chapter Warning(s): Cursing and mildly inappropriate language.

Notes: I didn't want any original Hetalia characters to be the bullies, so you can imagine how they look however you want. I literally just visualize them as those unidentified anime characters with no faces.


Gilbert was sprinting down the hallways of the school building. If he was fast enough, he could ask one of his buddies to lend him a pencil for his math class. He already asked Matthew, but he didn't have any extra writing utensils to give (Alfred's dog, Tony, ate them).

Luckily, Elizabeta was close by. She was closing her locker and getting ready to leave. Elizabeta saw Gilbert from the corner of her eye and stared at him with a surprised expression on her face. The surprise melted into horror, causing Gilbert to hesitate coming any closer to her. Was she that disgusted to see him? For a split second, he was able to understand why. Who would want to lay eyes on a fat, greasy, self-centered pig? The thought was immediately swept away. That was ridiculous. He was awesome! Yeah . . .

Gilbert was swimming in a pool of confusion as his body banged onto the ground. The air in his lungs completely left his body. Gilbert rolled to the side and sat up, gasping and coughing for oxygen. Some of Gilbert's folders opened during the impact, so his papers were scattered around him. All of the students ignored the teen on the ground. They stepped on Gilbert's exposed papers and even his hands. He hoped with all of his heart that his math papers were left unharmed.

Elizabeta looked down at Gilbert when he finally caught his breath. She sighed and shook her head, apologizing for the person who tripped him before walking away.

Wait. Someone tripped him?

Whoever it was, they were long gone now. And so was everyone else, since second period had already started.

Gilbert bit the inside of his cheek and scowled at the ceiling. He got on his knees to pick up his papers. Gilbert's eyes widened, dread filling his chest. His math homework was covered in dirty footprints and uneven creases. This would not sit well with his teacher. At all.


Before Gilbert opened the door, he took a deep breath. He thought about ditching school, but Ludwig would be pissed as fuck when he found out. It wasn't like Gilbert couldn't try to keep it a secret - it was that Ludwig always found out, no matter what. The kid had supernatural powers!

Gilbert pushed aside his idiotic thoughts and focused on the metal door nob he was holding. How many people touched this nob before him? How many washed their hands? How many were guys? How many were girls? How many were neither boy nor girl, but a human who possessed great power over the simple idea of gender? With great power comes great responsibility. His Uncle Ben said that before he kicked the bucket. Ha. Bucket.

FOCUS, DAMNIT!

Gilbert twisted the nob and entered the room. Everyone, including the teacher, stared at him. The teacher crossed his arms and calmly stated, "You are late."

"Sorry Mr. Wang," Gilbert bit his lip, awaiting his teacher's reaction. Mr. Wang sighed and nonchalantly said, "Do not let it happen again. Sit down and take out a pencil." Gilbert slid over to his desk. He avoided Mr. Wang's expecting gaze by looking at his fidgeting hands. "Well, Gilbert?" Gilbert gulped and mumbled something the teacher could not make out. "Speak up, please."

"I . . . um . . . don't have a pencil, Sir."

Mr. Wang scratched the back of his head and said through slightly gritted teeth, "That is fine. You could borrow one of mine. Now take out your homework."

Gilbert was so close to bawling like a baby just shit its diaper. Weird comparison, but it shows how stressed, nervous, and humiliated he was at the moment. Gilbert was the baby who shit his pants!

Stop with the shitty comparisons, brain!

Gilbert nearly laughed at his own pun.

Key word: nearly. He took out his ruined math assignment and set it on the surface of his desk, feeling quite ashamed. Mr. Wang slammed his hand on Gilbert's desk and glared darkly. "You get detention and will," Mr. Wang balled up the homework with a curl of his fingers, "receive no credit for this, either."

Mr. Wang threw the paper in the trash bin placed on the side of his desk and continued with the lesson.


The bell for lunch echoed through the building. Gilbert got in the lunch line, eager to fill the growling pit in his stomach. He piled mountains of different foods onto his plastic tray and paid for his wonderful meal. Gilbert went over to where Francis and Antonio were sitting and stuffed a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth. Francis raised his eyebrow questionably at the amount of food his friend had. The latter noticed and swallowed the clump of potatoes. Burping, he said, "I didn't eat much breakfast this morning." Francis was pleased to get an answer, but shook his head disapprovingly. "You need to eat properly! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"Did you get that from a poster?" Antonio cut in. The group cracked up, and Antonio stopped suddenly, "I swear I read that on a poster somewhere!"

Francis and Gilbert ignored him. Antonio shrugged and started singing about tomatoes in Spanish. Gilbert distinctly remembered buying Antonio a pack of tomato seeds for Christmas. Antonio was so happy he cried! Those were some good times.

Unfortunately, all good times must come to an end. Gilbert didn't know that the end of his happiness was only a step away. Soon he would be on a dark path full of torture and sorrow. Yet he would be empty.

"Gilbert!" Someone shouted angrily. It was Mr. Wang.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!

"You are supposed to be at the detention table! Go sit over there right now!" Francis and Antonio suppressed their giggles, watching as Gilbert trudged over to the detention table. Mr. Wang didn't like the idea of his students eating in his classroom, so he had a table in the cafeteria reserved for situations such as Gilbert's. He believed secluding the delinquent child was the best punishment.

Gilbert really didn't want to be alive at the moment. He so badly wished for that cool invisibility trick the Viners used to do all the time. Did they still do it? Whatever. He had more important things to worry about! For example, trying not to draw too much attention to himself. For once.

"What the hell?" Someone said. Gilbert pushed the food in his mouth to the side of his cheek and looked up with an eyebrow quirked. "If you eat like that, it's no wonder you're fat. What a pig." Gilbert swallowed. He grit his teeth and strengthened his grip on the plastic fork he was holding. Gilbert was not in the mood to deal with these assnuggets. "Shut. The fuck. Up."

"Aw, the chubby wittle pig thinks his squealing will intimidated us. How pathetic!"

Gilbert grabbed a fistful of mashed potatoes and threw them at the bully who mocked him. The potatoes slid off of his face and landed on the floor with a splat. He smiled psychoticly and growled, "You're gonna pay for that, you fat son of a bitch."

He grabbed the tray of a passing girl and aimed straight for Gilbert's face. Gilbert dodged it and it went flying outside of the window. "What the hell? IS THIS TODAY'S LUNCH?!"

From the distance Alfred shook Kiku and said, "Dude, dude! They're throwing food over there!"

"Oh my. Shall we report this to a teacher?"

"Whoa, are you kidding me?! This is just like in the movies! I've always wanted to do this!"

Alfred climbed on top of the table and cupped his hands like a makeshift megaphone.

"Alfred-san I don't think-"

"FOOD FIGHT!"

The entire cafeteria was silenced. A boy shouted amidst the quiet, "Are you nuts?"

The teenagers went back to eating like nothing ever happened. Alfred sat back in his seat dejectedly. Kiku pat the blonde's back.


"I am very disappointed in you, Gilbert. And here I thought you were improving," Principal Himaruya lectured. "Sorry, Sir," Gilbert apologized under his breath.

"Ya'know, my parents wanted me to become a doctor. But I became a principal instead. They were very disappointed in me, as well. I might be even more disappointed than my disappointed parents."

Gilbert didn't bother pointing out the amount of times Principal Himaruya said the word "disappointed."

The principal sighed and continued, "Is everything okay?" The question caught Gilbert off guard. He nodded regardless. Principal Hima licked his lips and went on, "Today just isn't your day, huh? You've caused a lot of mischief to this school. Some of which are reason to suspend you. But I'm a nice guy, so I wouldn't do that . . ."

Hima paused and smiled, "B-u-u-u-t I can still give you a week's worth of afterschool detention!"

Gilbert sat up. The principal gafawed. "Haha. Gets 'em every time! I was just kidding, you're free to go! Just don't do this kinda stuff again, alright buddy?" Gilbert nodded and left the room. He always felt that Principal Himaruya was like his dad. But that was just outrageous.

Since his talk with the principal lasted a few minutes passed the end of the school day, Gilbert had to go back to his locker. He thought about what happened in the cafeteria and cursed that stupid bully for being a liar. He said Gilbert had given him and his friends a terrifying threat and ruthlessly attacked them with food. Of course, the adult believed the lie over the truth. Was it so crazy of an idea for Gilbert to be the innocent one?

. . . Probably.

Gilbert dialed his locker combination and opened it up. The mirror that he keeps on the back of the door glinted in the artificial light of the hallway. Gilbert kept the mirror so he could see his awesome face, but at the moment that wasn't what he was planning to do. He bit his lip and leaned closer to the mirror. Gilbert squeezed his cheeks repeatedly. He straightened his back and turned so his side was visible in the mirror. The teen squeezed his stomach and pushed it in, thinking of what people said to him about his weight recently.

Looks like you gained a few pounds there, eh?

Muscle and fat are very different!

Is it just me or did you totally gain a few pounds?

If you eat like that, it's no wonder you're fat.

What a pig.

. . . You fat son of a bitch.

Gilbert was about to scan more of his chubby, fat, disgusting body, when he heard a clatter and a roll. One of the school's janitors had dropped her broom, picked it up, then walked on. She nodded at Gilbert as a greeting then got back to work. Gilbert collected his things from his locker, making sure to take the mirror with him. No need for that; it would just remind him how fat he was. He needed to dispose of it. Maybe he should jog on the way back? It wasn't like he could take the bus. Plus, jogging burned calories. Maybe he could try to eat less, too? Gilbert knew about eating disorders, but it wasn't like he had one. He was only cutting down on some food and exercising. He wasn't going to take it too far - he'll stop once he loses enough weight, he decided.


When Gilbert got home, it was already seven o'clock in the afternoon. He got lost more than once on his way to the house. Ludwig had already finished preparing for dinner and was serving the fourth plate of food. Gilbert hastily said, "H-hey! Not so much! I ate a lot of stuff with Toni and Francis." Ludwig squinted his eyes at his older brother suspiciously, though he ended up giving Gilbert a smaller portion of food than usual. Gilbert ate all of his food and ran upstairs to his room. He had a lot of homework to do.