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UNPLUGGED BY THE JANITOR Opening Scene

(The title is displayed just like in Reloaded)

(It goes through the clock to the guard)

(A guard exits)

Guard: See you tomorrow.

Guard 2: Hey, did you check your horoscope?

Guard: No, what does it say?

Guard 2: It says, a woman from a quazi-futuristic hovercraft, which exists in a non-computer generated world, will crash a motorcycle into your workplace and then kick you and your co-workers assess.

Guard: Those things are so vague that they could happen to anybody.

Guard 2: No, they can't.

(Trinity on a motorcycle jumps from a nearby building)

(She jumps off the motorcycle and it crashes into the guard station)

Guard: See, I told you!

(The guards rush Trinity and she fights them)

(Once all guards are down she grabs her cell phone)

Trinity: I'm in.

Voice: Can you hear me now?

Trinity: Yes.

Voice: Good.

(Code dissolves screen)

(Reappears as side of a building)

(Trinity jumps out of the window)

(Agent Thompson follows)

(Trinity shoots at the agent)

(Agent Thompson shoots back)

Agent Thompson: Wait, I just wanna be friends!

(Agent Thompson shoots Trinity)

(Trinity falls into car)

Trust

(Neo wakes up on the Nebuchadnezzar)

(Neo walks to a table and sits there)

(The ship flies through the sewers)

(Morpheus is piloting the ship)

(Link is beside him)

Morpheus: Almost there.

Link: Are you sure about this, sir?

(Morpheus looks over at Link and then jumps in fear)

Morpheus: Who the hell are you?

Link: Sir, I'm Link, your operator.

Morpheus: What happened to that other guy? Tank.

Link: Sir, Tank is, um. dead. I'm his brother-in-law. I've been here for a while now.

(Camera shows that Tank is tied to the top of the Neb)

(Tank pounds on the roof)

Morpheus: I thought they got rid of those giant sewer rats you found up there.

Link: I'll go beat him, I mean, them when we go home. Also, sir, are you sure about this?

Morpheus: Yes.

Link: I know sir, it just that I'm scoping some serious sentinel activity up here.

Morpheus: I don't care if there are a quarter million sentinels currently digging towards Zion right now, you don't talk like that to me, um kay?

Link: Sorry.

(The ship lands)

(Link powers it down)

Morpheus: Link.

Link: Yes sir?

Morpheus: Given your situation, I can't say I fully understand your reasons for volunteering to operate aboard my ship, however if you wish to continue to do so, I must ask you to do one thing.

Link: What's that sir? To trust you?

Morpheus: No, you stupid ass! To not take that sass back tone with me, your captain.

(Morpheus smacks Link upside the head)

Link: Ow! Yes sir, I will sir. I mean I won't sir.

Morpheus: (under breath) Dumbass.

Link: Yes sir.

Morpheus: Good. Now, repatch the main AC to the hard drives and prepare to broadcast.

Link: Yes sir.

Script

(Neo is sitting at the table)

(Trinity enters)

Trinity: Still can't sleep?

Neo: They're just dreams.

Trinity: You want to talk?

Neo: It just that, I just wish I knew what I'm supposed to do.

Trinity: You don't know?

Neo: No.

Trinity: Didn't you read the script?

Neo: Huh?

Trinity: How can we make the movie if you don't know what you're supposed to do?

Neo: I didn't mean.

Trinity: Let's try to get a little professionalism here.

Neo: That's my line and.

Trinity: Whatever, let's just get back to the movie. It's your line.

Neo: For the love of. I just wish I knew what I was supposed to do.

Trinity: Don't worry, she'll call.

(Link enters)

Link: There you are.

Trinity: Are we ready to go?

Link: We're already late.

Neo: Who are you?

Link: I'm Link, I'm your operator. I've been here since I killed, I mean, since Tank died.

Trinity: Tank died?

Link: Um...yeah.

(Tank pounds on roof)

Trinity: Didn't you kill those giant rats?

Link: They're hard to kill.

The Meeting

Niobe: These geo-therm's confirm the last transmission of the Osiris. The machines are digging. They're boring from the surface, straight down to Zion.

Captain 1: Mother.

Captain 2: They'll avoid the entire perimeter defenses.

Ghost: No, we have guns built right into the solid ground. Thank you, Captain Obvious, of the hovercraft Obviousness.

Captain 3: How fast are they moving?

Niobe: Command estimates their decent at 100 meters per hour.

Captain 1: How far are they?

Niobe: About 2000 meters.

Captain 2: Damn metric system. Hold on, King Hennery dances merrily drinking chocolate milk. They're about 2 kilometers down!

Ghost: I just did the obvious crack and you have to come back with something just as obvious!

Captain 2: Sorry.

Captain 1: What about the scans from the Osiris, they can't be accurate.

Niobe: They may be.

Captain 2: But that would mean that there are a quarter million sentinels up there.

Ghost: That's it! I'm waiting in the car!

(Ghost leaves)

Captain 3: That can't be.

Morpheus: Why not?

Trinity: Because I said so.

Morpheus: Fine, we won't go to the dog track after the meeting.

Neo: Morpheus, everyone thinks you said why not to the conversation in the meeting.

Trinity: Yeah, you'd better come up with a snappy line so you don't look like an idiot.

Neo: (under breath) If that were possible.

(Morpheus looks at Neo)

Morpheus: Um.A sentinel for every man, woman, and child in Zion. That sounds exactly like the thinking of a machine to me.

(The Terminator busts through a wall)

Terminator: Did somebody say machine! I said I'll be back, and now I'm back! Thank God the budget is too low to do another take of this scene so it looks like I'm in the second movie!

Trinity: He said movie and Morpheus heard.

Neo: Shit.

Morpheus: Yes. What movie?

Neo: I'm the one.

Morpheus: Yes you are.

Trinity: Good, thank God Morpheus has a short attention span.

Terminator: I have to go run California now! Asta la vista everybody!

(The Terminator busts through another wall)

Niobe: Morpheus, so nice of you to join us.

Morpheus: Hi. My apologies to all but as you are undoubting aware of, it has become increasingly difficult to secure a broadcast position.

(Neo does the "bullshit" sneeze)

Morpheus: Bless you.

Captain 1: Squiddies got all the best spots.

Captain 3: Main lines are crawling with 'em.

Captain 2: And if Niobe's right, in 72 hours there's going to be a quarter million more of them.

(Ghost re-enters)

Ghost: I heard that from the car! Shut up! Just shut up!

Captain 2: Sorry.

Ballard: So what are we gonna do?

Niobe: Exactly what Commander Lock ordered us to do. We'll evacuate broadcast level and return to Zion.

Morpheus: And does the commander have a plan for stopping 250,000 sentinels?

Niobe: A strategy is still being formulated.

Morpheus: I'm sure it is.

Niobe: Fine, what do you think we should do?

Morpheus: I think we should send a team of oil drillers up to the asteroid and drill to its center on a fault line and drop a nuclear warhead in the hole and then the rock will split in two and the to halves will pass on either side of the planet.

Neo: What?

(Morpheus drops a portable DVD player with Armageddon in it)

Morpheus: What is this doing here? Neo! Why'd you bring that?

(Outside a black Audi pulls up)

(A man gets out of it)

(His back is to the camera)

(He walks off camera)

(His arm reappears and he clicks his keyless entry)

(The horn beeps twice)

(Back inside)

(The camera is on Neo while Morpheus talks)

(Neo looks around sensing something)

Morpheus: I believe we should proceed as ordered. However I ask one of you for help.

Trinity: What is it?

Neo: I don't know.

(Neo heads towards the door)

(Camera goes to Morpheus)

Morpheus: Some of you believe as I believe, and some of you are pussies and do not. Those of you that do know that we are nearing the end of our struggle. The prophecy will be fulfilled soon. But before it can, the Oracle must be consulted.

(Outside Agent Smith walks in front of the headlights of his car so it can't be told that it is him)

(Agent Smith scratches his ass)

(Back inside)

Morpheus: If we leave now, we can be back within 36 hours. Well before the machines have reached this depth.

Niobe: Do you understand what you're asking?

Morpheus: I'm asking that one ship remain here in case the Oracle should decide to contact us.

Ballard: Bullshit, you're asking one of us to disobey a direct order.

Morpheus: Maybe.

Captain 2: And what happens when you get back to Zion and the commander throws you in the stockade?

Morpheus: I'll beat his ass!

Trinity: Eh-hem.

Morpheus: I mean, he won't.

Trinity: We're trying to cut down on his anger.

Ballard: Goddamn it Morpheus, you aint never gonna change. Shit I'll do it just to see what Deadbolt does to you.

Captain 2: Wait his name is Deadbolt Lock. Ha!

(Captain 2 and Morpheus start laughing)

Ghost: I come in for one moment and this is what I find!

Niobe: His first name is Jason! That's his nickname stupid!

Captain 2: You would know, you're the one he's bone-in'

Everybody: Ooooo!

Ghost: That's it!

(Ghost knocks out Captain 2)

Niobe: Thank you Ghost, I didn't know you cared.

Ghost: I don't he's just so damn annoying

Captains 1, 3, and Morpheus: Yes.

Morpheus: If I leave now, I can be back within 36 hours.

A Gift

(Agent Smith walks to the door and knocks)

(Meeting Guard 1 opens a small door thing)

Meeting Guard 1: What do you want?

Agent Smith: I'm looking for Neo.

Meeting Guard 1: Never heard of him.

Agent Smith: Ok, sorry. Is there another secret matrix meeting going on anywhere else?

Meeting Guard 1: Maybe.

Agent Smith: Damn it! Do you know where it is? Never mind, if you see him, give him this. You see I have something for him. A gift.

(Agent Smith gives Meeting Guard 1 a package)

Meeting Guard 1: Fine, whatever. Now piss off.

Agent Smith: That was rude and unnecessary.

(Neo enters)

Neo: Who was that?

Meeting Guard 2: How did you know somebody was here?

Meeting Guard 1: He gave you this.

(Meeting Guard 1 gives Neo the package)

(Neo opens the package)

Neo: The meeting is over. Retreat to your exits. Asians are coming.

Meeting Guard 1: Don't you mean agents?

Neo: No.

(Pounding on the door)

Neo: Go!

(Both meeting guards leave)

(Asian Guy 1 breaks down the door with his fists)

Neo: Hiya fellas.

Asian Guy 1: It's him.

Asian Guy 2: The anomaly.

Asian Guy 3: Do we proceed?

(All 3 Asian Guys change into Agents Thompson, Jackson, and Johnson

Agent Thompson: Yes.

Agent Johnson: He is still.

Agent Jackson: um.

Agent Thompson: For the love of God, .only human

Agent Jackson: That was my line!

(Agents begin to fight Neo)

(Neo fends back all three with one arm)

(Agent Jackson grabs Neo's arm)

Neo: Upgrades.

(Neo begins to fight with both arms)

(Neo knocks out all Agents one by one)

(Neo looks down an alley)

(Neo does flying motion)

(Neo begins to "fly" like the classic cartoon Freakazoid)

(Two Agent Smiths appear out of an alley)

Agent Smith: That went as expected. Exactly like before.

Agent Smith 2: Well, not exactly.

Agent Smith: Do I know you?

Agent Smith 2: Maybe. You do look familiar.

Agent Smith: (Both) What good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?

Superman

(Morpheus and Trinity are in a car)

(Morpheus calls Link)

(On Neb)

Link: Operator.

(Matrix)

Morpheus: Link, what happened back there?

(Neb)

Link: How the hell should I know? I can't watch every damn thing in the damn matrix!

(Matrix)

Morpheus: Guess.

(Neb)

Link: I don't know sir, first the code got all weird. Some kind of encryption I've never seen before. Then agents came out of nowhere.

(Matrix)

Trinity: Is Neo okay?

(Neb)

Link: Shit Morpheus, you should have seen him.

(Matrix)

Morpheus: Where is he now?

(Neb)

Link: He's doing the superman thing.

(Neo is flying)

(Superman passes)

Neo: Hey Superman.

Superman: Hello, Neo.

Neo: Still saving people?

Superman: Yeah. How 'bout you? Still freeing minds?

Neo: Yep. So, where you flying to?

Superman: I'm going over to docks. Word is that there is this guy saying he's a machine and trying to be in this movie.

Neo: Yeah, he's annoying. The trick is to just ignore him.

Superman: Really? Does it work?

Neo: It's never come up. But that works with Morpheus.

Superman: I'll keep that in mind. See ya!

Neo: Bye.

(Superman dives)

(Neo flies down and land on the roof of a building)

The Super Super

(Neo comes to a door)

(Neo enters)

Neo: Where are you?

(Superman walks up)

Superman: Neo, hey again.

Neo; Hey, what are you doing here?

Superman: I'm the super.

Neo: So you're the Super Super?

Superman: I guess you could say that.

Neo; who else runs this building?

Superman: Well, Spiderman is our exterminator, Batman handles security, and The Hulk enforces rent.

Neo: This was the worst part wasn't it?

Superman: I hope not, or there won't be a part 3.

Neo: See ya.

Superman: Bye. (Under breath) Jackass.

Zion

(Link is at the controls of the Neb)

Link: Zion control, this is the Nebuchadnezzar, requesting access through Gate 3.

(In Zion control)

(Zion control is a mini-construct)

Controller: This is Zion control to the Nebuchadnezzar, who the hell is this?

(Neb)

Link: I'm Link; I replaced Tank when he went MIA.

(Zion control)

Controller: Ok. Maintain present velocity and await confirmation. Did you ever take care of those giant sewer rats?

(Neb)

Link: Yeah but they're back now.

(A clunk is heard)

Link: Hold on.

(Link grabs a broom and bangs the top of the ship with it)

(Zion control)

Controller: This is Zion control, requesting a stand down of arms at gate 3. We have the Neb on approach. Let's open her up.

Gun Operator: Perv!

Controller: Not like that!

Gun operator: Ok. Arms are down.

Controller: Nebuchadnezzar, you are cleared through gate 3 to bay 7.

(The Neb heads toward the gate)

Controller: Door's open bed's made. Welcome home.

Link: No place like it. Except for Vegas. Wait, I can't enter the matrix! I've never seen Vegas! And I won't be able to! No! Ok.

(The Neb enters and goes to bay 7)

(The Neb lands)

Morpheus: Ow! My ass!

Controller: The Nebuchadnezzar is down.

Control Operator: Understood. Locking down gate 3.

(Gate 3 closes half way)

(Gear stripping noise is heard)

Control operator: Damn it!

Worker: Sir, incoming message!

Control Operator: Play it.

(The Worker presses a button.

Morpheus: (over speaker) Yes.

Control Operator: Get me the repair team!

Worker: Yes sir!

Repair guy: (over speaker) What is it?

Control Operator: Gate 3 is stuck.

Repair Guy: Just put a big tarp over it, the machines won't even notice. I'll be there in the morning.

Control Operator: Do you mean Zion morning or real morning?

Repair Guy: Real morning.

Control Operator: But we don't know when that is because of the blocked out sky!

Repair Guy: Exactly!

Leaving the Neb

(The hatch on the Neb opens)

(Neo, Trinity, Link, and Morpheus come out)

(Captain Mifune, and several MP's are there)

Morpheus: Captain Mifune.

Captain Mifune: Captain Morpheus.

Morpheus: Are you here to escort me to the stockade, Captain?

(Morpheus grabs the electricity gun)

Captain Mifune: I'm just here to keep the peace.

Morpheus: Yeah, me too.

(Morpheus drops the gun)

MP: Commander Lock demands.

Captain Mifune: Eh-hem.

MP: Requests your immediate counsel sir.

Morpheus: Link.

Link: Yes sir?

Morpheus: I want the ship ready to go as soon as humanly possible.

Link: Understood sir.

Tank: Morpheus! Help I'm tied to the roof! Help Link tied me up here!

Morpheus: Damn! Those rats have somehow learned to talk, and have found out that Tank died in an attempt to frame Link because he's been trying to kill the rats!

Link: Those bastards!

Tank: No!

Captain Mifune: Morpheus?

Morpheus: Oh right. Bye!

(Morpheus, Captain Mifune, and the MP walk away)

Neo: What is it between them?

Trinity: Morpheus and Lock?

Neo: Yeah.

Trinity: Niobe.

Neo: Captain Niobe?

Trinity: She used to be with Morpheus. Now she's with Lock.

Neo: What a bitch. What happened?

Trinity: Morpheus went to the Oracle, after that everything changed.

Neo: Yeah. She can do that.

Kid: Neo!

Neo: Damn it. How does he always know?

Trinity: You know what they say about the life you save.

Neo: I didn't save his life.

Kid: Hiya Neo. Trinity, Link.

Link: Hey.

Kid: It's great to have you back.

Neo: Thanks. It's good to be back.

Kid: Can I carry that?

Neo: I can get this.

Kid Trinity?

Trinity: I'm fine.

Link: You can carry these.

Kid: Yeah, sure Link. (Under breath) Jackass.

(All start walking away)

Kid: Hey, you know, next year I'm old enough to join a crew, right? I've been thinking a lot about it, and I've made my decision.

Link: Let me guess.

Kid: I want to join the Firebird with Captain Phoenix.

Neo: Really? You don't want to join us? I thought you would the way you've been all around us.

Kid: Actually, I think you're a jackass. I was just being polite for you saving my life. You're the reason I'm here, Neo.

Neo: I told you, you found me. I didn't find you.

Kid: You got me out! You saved me. How can I call you a jackass since you saved me?

Neo: You saved yourself.

Kid: You see? That's why you're a jackass! You jackass! Whoops. Sorry Neo, my savior.

I didn't do it!

(The MP shows Morpheus into Commander Lock's office)

Commander Lock: Morpheus.

Morpheus: Commander Lock.

Commander Lock: I spoke to the other captains and I wanted to offer you a chance to explain your actions.

Morpheus: Ok, so we were at the meeting when I busted Neo for watching a movie during it, I believe it was Armageddon, but I don't watch movies. So then this guy was all like, "hey, if you don't get a ship to stay behind, I'll fuckin kill ya!" So I was like, "why don't you get out of my face? That would be against Commander Lock's, my role model and mentor, orders. Then he was all, "Do it!" Then he shot into the air so I had to.

Commander Lock: Ok, I was going to ask you about who had the cheese and spilled it all in the Captain's lounge but continue explaining your actions.

Morpheus: I wasn't aware that my actions required any explanation.

Commander Lock: Yes, you were. That's why started to explain them.

Morpheus: Shit.

Commander Lock: You were given orders to return to Zion.

Morpheus: I did. Ballard stayed! I told him not to! But he was like, "Shut up, Morpheus!"

Commander Lock: You asked for one ship to remain behind. That's why Ballard stayed.

Morpheus: Hey, Don't get me wrong, I would have stayed but I needed to recharge my ship. Oh, that doesn't help at all.

Commander Lock: So you admit to a direct contravention of your duty.

Morpheus: You admit to a direct convention of your duty!

Commander Lock: I said contravention, not convention.

Morpheus: I'll be honest. I have no clue what you just said. But I do know that we need a presence inside the matrix to await contact from the Oracle.

Commander Lock: I don't want to hear that shit! I don't care about oracles or prophecies or messiahs.

Morpheus: I find that offensive!

Commander Lock: Tough! I care about one thing. Stopping that army from destroying this city! And to do that, I need soldiers to obey my orders and at least one really big gun.

Morpheus: Yeah, that would come in handy. However, with all due respect, commander, there is only one way to save our city.

Commander Lock: How?

Morpheus: Two really big guns! And Neo, maybe.

Commander Lock: Goddamn it, Morpheus not everyone believes what you believe.

Morpheus: My beliefs do not require them to. You, sir, are a racist! Persecuting me for my beliefs? What are you? A Nazi? Huh? Are you?

Commander Lock: No!

Blackmail

Kid: There's a gathering tonight. Everybody's talking. A lot of people are scared. Nobody can remember the last time so many ships were docked. Something's happening, isn't it?

Link: Hey, don't bother asking cause we can't say anything.

Kid: Ok. I got a picture of some guy tied up to the top of your ship.

Link: Why don't we go talk right now? Mano y Mnao.

Neo: Link.

Link: This damn kid is blackmailing me!

Neo: Don't be silly, there's no one tied up to our ship. Just rats. Thousands upon thousands of rats.

Link: Yeah.that's right. Rats.

(All come up to a ledge overlooking the city)

(Link walks over to the ledge)

Link: Goddamn, it's good to be home!

Voice: Shut up, up there!

The Councilor

Commander Lock: I'm recommending to the council that you be removed from duty.

Morpheus: That is, of, your prerogative, Commander. That's a funny word, prerogative. Heh heh.

Commander Lock: If it were up to me, Captain, you wouldn't set foot on a ship for the rest of your life.

Morpheus: Then I am grateful that it is not up to you because you're so pussy whipped and Niobe wants me more than you. Life's a bitch, huh?

(Councilor Hamann enters)

Commander Lock: Councilor Hamann.

Hamann: Commander.

Morpheus: Hiya.

Hamann: Captain.

Morpheus: Councilor.

Hamann: The Council's asked me to speak tonight at the temple gathering. I told them to cram it up their assess but they said I had to so I'm going to make you do it Morpheus.

Morpheus: Ok.

Hamann: The presence of the fleet and the persistence of rumors must be addressed. The people must be told what is happening.

Commander Lock: Of course, councilor. But might I advise a level of discretion concerning specific details we do not wish to start a panic.

Hamann: Quite right. A panic is not what anyone wants. Except me, because when I calm it, it'll make me look good and get elected again. What about you captain? What would you advise?

Morpheus: The truth.

Commander Lock: Yeah, you know about telling the truth don't you Morpheus?

Morpheus: Shut up! No one will panic, because there is nothing to fear. That army will never reach the gates of Zion.

Hamann: What makes you so sure?

Morpheus: Consider what we have seen, consider that in the past six months, we have freed more minds than in six years, consider that there was a second agent behind the Grassy Knoll. This attack is an act of desperation. I believe that very soon the prophecy will be fulfilled and this war will end.

Hamann: I hope you're right captain, or we're fucked.

Morpheus: I do not believe it to be a matter of fucked councilor; it is simply a matter of time.

Hamann: that didn't make any sense.

Morpheus: The point was to not say fucked. There might be children in the audience.

Hamann: You know about the audience?

Morpheus: What audience? Where?

Hamann: but you just said.never mind.

Let me win!

(An elevator stops)

Link: This is my stop. See you soon, hopefully not too soon. Come on Kid. These two got things to do.

(The elevator closes)

(Trinity and Neo stand there)

Neo: You know.

Trinity: No.

Neo: I could press emergency stop and.

Trinity: No.

Neo Why not?

Trinity: No, just, no.

Neo: But in the movie.

Trinity: No.

Neo: (under breath) Bitch.

Trinity: What?

Neo: Nothing.

(The elevator stops)

(The door opens)

(Along a crosswalk many people are lined up to see Neo)

Neo: Hi!

(Everybody gets up)

Woman: Neo, please, I have a son, Jacob, aboard the Gnosis. Please, watch over him.

Neo: I'll try.

Woman 2: I have a daughter on the Icarus.

(Trinity walks away)

Neo: No, wait.

Trinity: It's all right. They need you.

Neo: I need you.

Trinity: I know. There's time.

Man: I want to win the lottery!

Man 2: I was gonna ask Neo for that!

Man: Tough shit, I asked first.

Where's my puss.

(Link opens a door)

Link: Where's my puss.

(Link sees Zee, Cas, and Cass's kids in the room)

Link: Hey!

Kids: Uncle Link!

Link: Oh my God! You're so huge! You should be picking me up!

Kids: No!

Link: Yeah1

Kids: Ok.

Link: Ok? All right. Now, we're gonna have to work together here, ok? 1, 2, 3, lift!

(Link grabs onto a pipe creating the allusion that the kids lift him up)

Link: Oh my God! What are you feeding these two? Steroids!

Cas: Oh, Link.

Link: No, I'm serious.

Cas: I'm not feeding them Steroids!

Link: Whatever, but if I see them acting weird.

Cas: Ok you two! Out the door! March!

Link: Remember what I said.

Cas: Good to have you home, Link.

Link: Good to be home.

Cas: You be careful with her.

Zee: Don't worry about me, he's the one that's gonna get it.

Cas: Bye!

Link: Bye!

(Cas leaves)

Link: I'm gonna get what?

Zee: Every ship up there's been home two, even three times more that the Nebuchadnezzar.

Link: Come on Zee, I thought we were past this.

Zee: We'll get pass this when you start operating aboard another ship.

Link: I can't do that.

Zee: Why?

Link: You know why.

Zee: If Dozer knew how I felt, he wouldn't have asked you to do this.

Link: Maybe, but it's too late now. I made a promise, and some promises can't be broken. That gay guy killed dozer, and the giant rats killed Tank, so now, I have to seek vengeance by killing the rats! Then I have to take his place.

Zee: It's not fair.

Link: Nobody said it was gonna be. You think Cas thinks it's fair that I'm here and Dozer's not?

Zee: I lost two brothers to that ship, Link. I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid it's gonna take you too.

Link: It won't.

Zee: How can you say that to me?

Link: Because of Morpheus. Because of what he's told me. He said that this is it that it will be over soon.

Zee: Link, Morpheus is crazy.

(Morpheus walks by)

Morpheus: Hey! I heard that! Oh and Link, I need you to go into the nuclear reactor without any protection and change the carbon rods. One of them looked at me funny.

(Morpheus looks at his hands)

Morpheus: You know, they're called fingers but I've never seen them fing. Oh there they go.

(Morpheus walks away)

Link: Ok, he's crazy, but Tank and Dozer believed in him and, after seeing Neo do what he can do; I'm starting to believe too.

Zee: Be careful, Link.

Link: Careful as I can be.

Charisma

(Kid runs into the temple)

Kid: They started yet?

Server: Only Councilor Hamann's opening prayer.

(Inside)

Hamann: Tonight, let us honor these men and women. These are our soldiers, our warriors. These are our husbands and wives, our brothers and sisters, our children, our secret lovers that if the public found out about, some politicians wouldn't get re-elected. Let us remember those that have been lost, especially Tank of the Nebuchadnezzar, and let us give thanks to those have been found, and to those who stand here beside us. Now I would like someone else to close this prayer, someone who hasn't spoken here in a long time but who I believe has something to say that we all need to hear. I give you Morpheus.

(One person starts clapping)

Random Guy: Shut up!

(Person stops clapping)

(Morpheus: walks to podium)

Morpheus: Zion! Can you here me now?

Everybody: Yes!

Morpheus: Good. It is true what many of you have heard. The machines have gathered an army, and as I speak, that army is drawing near to our home. Believe me when I say we have a difficult time ahead of us. But if we are to be prepared for it, we must shed our fear of it! I stand before you now truthfully unafraid. Why? Because I believe something you do not? No! I stand here without fear because I remember. I remember that I am here not because of the path that lies before me, but because of the path that lies behind me! I remember that for 100 years we have fought these machines. I remember that for 100 years they have sent their armies to destroy us. And after a century of war, I remember that which matters most. We are completely boned!

(One person claps)

Morpheus: Tonight! Let us send a message to that army. Tonight let us shake this cave. Tonight let us tremble these halls of earth, steel, and stone. Let us be heard from black core to red sky!

(A man comes up and whispers something into Morpheus's ear)

Morpheus: Sorry. From red core to black sky! Tonight, let us make them remember. This is Zion and we are, as I said, completely boned!

(Morpheus walks away)

(Everybody starts to dance)

(People clap as Morpheus walks by)

(Niobe turns around)

Niobe: I remember.

(Morpheus turns around)

Niobe: I remember you used to dance. I remember you were pretty good.

Morpheus: There are some things in this world, Captain Niobe, that will never change.

Commander Lock: Niobe.

(Morpheus turns around)

Morpheus: Shit. I was gonna score! Some things do change.

(Morpheus walks away)

Morpheus: Damn it! Yes!

We can't do that scene

(Neo is talking with some people)

(Trinity enters)

Neo: Excuse me.

(Neo walks toward Trinity)

Neo: I missed you.

Trinity: I can tell.

Neo: I was just thinking.

Trinity: What?

Neo: Everybody's here.

Trinity: Follow me!

(Matt runs in)

Matt: Whew! I got here in time!

Neo: What? You can't be here, you're the director.

Matt: You bet your ass I am. Ok, we can't do this scene.

Neo: Why not.

Matt: We just can't.

Neo: But I wanna score!

Matt: Sorry.

Neo: But.

Matt: Can't be done.

Neo: What if we just.

Matt: Still would be illegal.

Neo: Shouldn't we reshoot this scene?

Matt: Not enough money.

Neo: So what do we do now?

Matt: I suggest you enjoy the cave rave. Hey that rhymes!

(A hot girl walks by)

Matt: Gotta go!

Matt: Hey how you doin?

(The rave is shown for the length of the song used)

Laugh at thy neighbor

(The UV lamps above Zion go out turning "day" into "night")

(Morpheus is standing in front of his door)

Morpheus: Good night, Zion.

Voice: Goodnight, Morpheus!

(A Neighbor walks up)

Neighbor: Hey, Morpheus! How's it goin? Great speech. So we're completely screwed?

Morpheus: I don't know. Maybe Neo will save us, I just wanted everybody to think that we're gonna die.

Neighbor: Why?

Morpheus: Because then, prices will drop and I can buy all the stuff I want. Then, when we don't die, I won't have to return it!

Neighbor: Good plan. So how 'bout that rave tonight? It led to a few good things if you know what I mean.

Morpheus: Maybe for you.

Neighbor: What do you mean? Oh, oh! So nothing.

(Neighbor begins to laugh uncontrollably)

Morpheus: Hey, shut up!

Neighbor: Hey Bob! Bob, get out here!

Bob: What?

Neighbor: Morpheus didn't get any after the rave!

(Bob begins to laugh)

Morpheus: Shut up!

(Morpheus grabs an electricity gun)

(Morpheus shoots Neighbor and Bob)

Morpheus: Oh shit!

(Morpheus grabs Bob and Neighbor and throws them over the edge)

Morpheus: Look out! They jumped! Why God why?

(Morpheus runs inside)

(Morpheus comes back out and grabs the gun then goes back inside)

Smith Will Suffice

(A phone rings in the matrix)

(Bane and Rebel 1 jump through a skylight into the room)

Bane: Did you see that agent? I've never seen one like that.

Rebel 1: That's not important. This is.

(Rebel 1 pulls out a CD)

Bane: After you.

(Rebel 1 answers the phone and disappears)

(Agent Smith jumps down)

(Agent Smith thrusts his and into Bane)

Bane: Ow!

Agent Smith: Sorry.

(Agent Smith thrusts again this time entering his body)

Bane: Oh God.

Agent Smith: Smith will suffice.whatever the hell that means.

(Bane turns into Agent Smith)

(The original Agent Smith jerks his hand out of Bane/Smith)

(The original Smith straitens Bane/Smith's tie)

Bane/Smith: Thank you.

Agent Smith: Your welcome, but we can't have you looking like that.

Bane/Smith: No, we can't.

Agent Smith and Bane/Smith: We need a makeover!

(Theme to queer eye for the straight guy is played)

(Agent Smith and Bane/Smith enter a store called "Agent Apparel")

(Bane/Smith holds up a suit with a black tie)

(Agent Smith shakes his head no and grabs an identical suit off another rack)

(Bane/Smith hits his head in embarrassment)

(Bane/Smith goes over to the phone)

(Bane/Smith answers the phone)

Walk

(Neo wakes up)

(Neo goes outside and looks over ledge)

(Hamann walks up)

Hamann: Neo, mind if I join you? Or, if you prefer to be alone.

Neo: Councilor Hamann, not at all.

Hamann: Nice tonight. Very calm. Looks like everyone's sleeping very peacefully.

Neo: Not everyone.

Hamann: Can't sleep? I hate sleep. I never sleep more then a few hours a night. I figure I slept the first eleven years of my life now I'm making up for it.

Neo: If you were just making up for it, wouldn't you just not sleep for eleven years?

Hamann: Well, I guess. Um.did you here about the suicides near Morpheus's?

Neo: Yeah, poor bastards. They jumped then shot each other with electricity guns. Both were Morpheus's neighbors.

Hamann: He must be so depressed.

(Camera switches to Morpheus)

(Morpheus is dancing around with loud music playing)

(There is a knock at his door)

Neighbor 2: (through door) Hey! Do you know what time it is? Shut up!

Morpheus: That's it!

(Morpheus grabs the electricity gun)

(Switch back to Neo and Hamann)

Hamann: What about you?

Neo: I just haven't been able to sleep much.

(Neo and Hamann away from the ledge)

Hamann: That's a good sign.

Neo: Of what?

Hamann: That you are still human.

(Neighbor 2 falls over the ledge)

Neo: What the?

Morpheus: Oh my God! He jumped after electrocuting himself!

Hamann: Shit! This isn't good for my PR and elections are coming up. We got to get out of here! Have you ever been to the engineering level?

The Engineering Level

(Neo and Hamann exit an elevator and are on the Engineering level)

Hamann: Almost no one comes down here. Unless, of course, there's a problem.

Neo: Are you going to kill me and dump my body in a machine?

Hamann: No! Whatever gave you that idea?

Neo: Morpheus is over there doing it.

(Neo points at Morpheus)

(Morpheus dumps a body into a machine)

(Morpheus looks up and sees Neo and then runs away)

Hamann: That can't be Morpheus. Would you put down that hatchett!

(Neo drops a hatchet)

Neo: Sorry, self-defense.

Hamann: As I was saying, nobody comes down here.

Neo: Are you going to molest me? Help! I need an adult!

Hamann: God, no! I'm just trying to talk with you.

Neo: Ok.

(Neo slowly grabs the hatchet)

Hamann: That's how it is with people. Nobody cares how it works as long as it works.

Neo: Yeah, I'm not about to learn how stuff works.

Hamann: I like it down here. I like to be reminded that this city survives because of these machines.

Neo: (under breath) No wonder you have no friends.

Hamann: These machines are keeping us alive while other machines are coming to kill us.

Neo: Are you going to kill yourself?

Hamann: No!

Neo: Are you sure?

Hamann: Yes! Let me finish! Interesting, isn't it? The power to give life, the power to take it away.

Neo: We have the same power.

Hamann: Yeah, I suppose we do, but down here sometimes I think about all those people still plugged into the matrix and when I look at these machines, I can't help thinking that, in a way, we're plugged into them.

Neo: Ok, so you're not going to kill me and you're not going to kill yourself, and you're talking about us being slaves to these machines, Oh no! You're going to blow up Zion!

Hamann: No! I'm just stating that this is like a mini-matrix!

Neo: Sure, but we control these machines, they don't control us.

Hamann: Of course not, how could they?

Neo: Yes, who could they indeed? Are you a machine?

Hamann: No!

Neo: I'm just asking, cause if you are, it's ok.

Hamann: I'm not.

Neo: Ok, ok.

Hamann: The machines can't control us. The idea is pure nonsense. But, it does make one wonder, what is control?

Neo: If we wanted, we could shut these machines down.

Hamann: of course! You hit it! If we wanted, we could smash them to bits. Although if we did, we'd have to consider what would happen to our lights, our heat, our air.

Neo: So we need machines and they need us, is that your point?

Hamann: No. No point. Old men like me don't bother with making points. There's no point.

Neo: My head hurts. Is that why there are no young men on the council?

Hamann: Good point.

Neo: Why don't you tell me what's on your mind?

Hamann: there is so much in this world that I do not understand. See that machine? It has something to do with recycling our water supply. I have absolutely no idea how it works. But I do understand the reason for it to work. I have no idea how you are able to do some of the things you do, but I believe there's a reason for that as well. I only hope we understand that reason before it's too late.

Neo: Is that your point?

Hamann: Yes.

Neo: Ha! So you do make points!

Hamann: Damn it! You got me. But don't tell anyone.

Neo: Ok.

Memories of the Spoon

(Ballard knocks on a door)

(Trinity answers)

Trinity: Ballard.

Ballard: Is he here?

(Trinity opens the door revealing Neo)

Ballard: It's from the Oracle.

Neo: It's time to go.

(Switch to Link and Zee)

Link: Morpheus said this was how it was gonna happen. I don't know, maybe the prophecy's true, maybe it isn't. All I know is that that ship needs an operator. Right now that operator is me.

Zee: I know.

(Zee grabs a necklace)

Link: Zee.

Zee: I want you to wear it.

Link: You know I don't believe in this stuff.

Zee: But I do. It's always brought me luck. Maybe it'll bring me you.

Link: I'm coming back. I promise.

Zee; Just keep it with you, please. For me.

Link: Ok.

(Switch to Smith/Bane)

(Smith/Bane is trying to cut himself with a pair of safety scissors)

(Bane/Smith looks up and sees Morpheus, Link, and Neo coming)

(Bane/Smith comes up behind them and pulls out the scissors)

Kid: Neo!

Link: How the hell? Bane?

Neo: is something wrong?

Bane/Smith: No, I'm fine. I just wanted to catch you to say good luck.

Neo: Thanks.

Bane/Smith: Well see you, Mr. Anderson I mean Neo, I mean, I'm not Agent Smith!

Neo: Ok.

(Bane/Smith leaves and Kid runs up)

Kid: Neo! Just in time! You're gonna see the Oracle?

Morpheus: we don't have time for this.

Kid: I'm sorry sir; I just had to give something to Neo.

Link: No time!

Kid: Hey! You let me give this to Neo or I'll reveal who of you has killed people.

Link and Morpheus: Shit! Give it to Neo!

Kid: Ok, A gift from one of the orphans. He made me swear to get it to you before you left. He said you'd understand.

(Neo unravels the cloth to reveal a spoon)

Neo: That damn kid! I'll beat his ass! He fed me that crap about the spoon and now I'm gonna smack him upside the head!

Morpheus: You want to borrow my electricity gun for it?

Neo: Why?

Morpheus: It helps to have a second set of prints on a murder weapon -I mean a gun.

(Neo enters an elevator where everybody else is waiting)

(Switch to Hamann's office)

(There is a knock at the door)

Hamann: Come in.

(Commander Lock enters)

Commander Lock: I was just told that you cleared the Nebuchadnezzar for takeoff.

Hamann: That is correct.

Commander Lock: I am still in charge of the city's defense system?

Hamann: Of course not. I'm just kidding.

Commander Lock: I believe that we need every available ship here if we are going to survive this attack.

Hamann: Tough shit. I outrank you.

Teahouse

(Neo sits on a chair for entering the matrix)

Trinity: Be careful.

Morpheus: Can I come too?

Trinity and Neo: No!

Morpheus: Fine.

(Trinity inserts the plug into Neo's neck)

(Neo awakes in Chinatown)

Neo: I'm taller! Bow before me!

(Nobody acknowledges Neo)

(Neo walks to a teahouse)

(Neo enters)

(Seraph is sitting drinking tea)

Neo: Hello.

Seraph: You seek the Oracle.

Neo: Who are you? Jet Li?

Seraph: No, he is in hiding because of you.

Neo: Ok, then who are you?

Seraph: I am Seraph. I can take you to her, but first, I must apologize.

Neo: Apologize for what?

Seraph: For this.

(Seraph throws the tea at Neo)

Neo: Hey!

Seraph: I must apologize again.

Neo: For what?

Seraph: For this.

(Seraph begins slap Neo)

Neo: Stop it! Hey! Don't make me hit you!

(Neo hits Seraph)

(They begin to fight)

Seraph: Good. The Oracle has many enemies. I had to be sure.

Neo: Of what?

Seraph: Of this. Oh, wait, wrong line, that you are the one.

Neo: You could of just asked.

Seraph: No, you do not truly know someone until you fight them. By the way, your PIN number is 2189.

Neo: How do you know that?

Seraph: I fought you.

Neo: Damn it!

Seraph: Come, she's waiting. Oh and about what happened on the playground when you were 5, let it go.

(Seraph puts a key in the door and it opens to show the matrix maintenance passages)

(Neo enters and Seraph follows then closes the door)

(Neb)

(All are around Link)

Link: Where the hell did they go?

Morpheus: I'll bet they went to the dog track.

Trinity: No!

Morpheus: Fine.

(Maintenance passages)

Neo: These are back doors aren't they? Programmer access.

(Seraph nods yes)

Neo: How do they work?

Seraph: A code is hidden in tumblers. One position opens a lock and another position opens one of these doors.

Neo: Are you a programmer?

(Seraph nods no)

Neo: Then what are you?

(Seraph puts a key in a lock and turns it)

Seraph: I protect that which matters most.

(Seraph opens the door)

(A man runs down the hall)

Man 3: Help! I've been stuck in here for 10 days! Let me out!

Seraph: Not until you admit that you hit me on the freeway!

Man 3: but I didn't!

Seraph: Goodbye.

Man 3: No!

(Neo and Seraph go though the door and Seraph closes it behind them)

Man 3: Fuck.

The Oracle

The Oracle: Well, come on. I ain't gonna bite you. Come around here and let me have a look at you. My goodness, look at you. You turned out all right, didn't you? Let's take a walk.

(The Oracle and Neo begin to walk)

The Oracle: How do you feel?

Neo: I

The Oracle; I know you're not sleeping. We'll get to that. There's only one thing to remember. The who and the what aren't important. It's only scenery. Only ask why.

Neo: Huh?

The Oracle: Only ask why. I was in Matrix Ops from 61 through 64. Covert stuff involving keys and digging machines. I know things. Things that would have us both killed in a heartbeat. So, let's get the obvious stuff out of the way. Who would benefit?

Neo: I thought I couldn't ask who.

The Oracle: Just this once, it's ok.

Neo: Huh?

The Oracle: just ask a question.

Neo: You're not human are you?

The Oracle: It's tough to get more obvious then that.

Neo: If I had to guess, I'd say you're a program from the machine world.

(A man walks by)

Neo: So is he.

(The man is the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz)

Tin Man: If I had a heart I'd kick your ass!

Neo: I meant him.

(Neo points at Seraph)

Tin Man: Ok. Sorry.

(Tin Man leaves)

The Oracle: So far, so good.

Neo: But if that's true, that could mean you're part of this system, another form of control.

The Oracle: Keep going.

Neo: I suppose the most obvious question is how can I trust you.

The Oracle: Bingo. Just consider it with all of the other mysteries. Why would they want this man to free people, why is this sending shockwaves through the powers in Zion. It is a pickle, no doubt about it. Bad news is there's no way you can really know if I'm here to help you or not. So it's really up to you. Just have to make up you own damn mind to either accept what I'm going to tell you or reject it.

(The Oracle grabs something from her purse)

The Oracle: Candy?

Neo: Do you already know if I'll take it?

The Oracle: Wouldn't be much of an oracle if I didn't.

Neo: But if you already know, how can I make a choice?

The Oracle: Because you didn't come here to make the choice. You've already made it. You're here to try to understand why you made it. See, ask the why.

(Neo takes the candy and pockets it)

The Oracle: I thought you'd have figured that out by now.

Neo: Why are you here?

The Oracle: Same reason. I love candy.

Neo: How 'bout you don't be a smart ass and tell me why you help us?

The Oracle: We're all here to do what we're all here to do. I'm interested in one thing, Neo, the future. And believe me, I know, the only way to get there is together.

Neo: Are there other programs like you?

The Oracle: Don't ask who, it's only scenery. There are others, but not like me. But.Look? See those birds?

Neo: Pretty.

The Oracle: At some point, a program was written to govern them. A program was written to watch over the trees and the wind, the sunrise and sunset. There are programs running all over the place. The ones doing their job, doing what they were meant to do, are invisible. You'd never even know they were here. But the other ones, well, you hear about them all the time.

Neo: I've never heard of them.

The Oracle: That's because Morpheus is an idiot and he's been filling your head with idiocy. You've heard of them. Every time you've heard someone say they saw a ghost or an angel, every story you've ever heard about vampires, werewolves or aliens is the system assimilating some program that's doing something they're not supposed to be doing.

Neo: Programs hacking programs. Why?

The Oracle: Good, you know what to ask. They have their reasons but usually a program chooses exile when it faces deletion.

Neo: And why would a program be deleted?

The Oracle: Maybe it breaks down. Maybe a better program is created to replace it. Happens all the time. And when it does, a program can either choose to hide out here or return to the source.

Neo: The machine mainframe?

The Oracle: Yes. Where you must go. Where the path of the One ends. You've seen it, in your dreams, haven't you? The door made of light.

(Neo nods yes)

The Oracle: What happens when you go through the door?

Neo: I see Trinity and something happens. Something bad. She starts to fall.

The Oracle: Do you see her die?

Neo: No.

The Oracle: You have the sight now, Neo. You are looking at the world without time.

Neo: Then why can't I see what happens to her?

The Oracle: We can never see past the choices we don't understand.

Neo: Are you saying I have to choose whether Trinity lives or dies?

The Oracle: No, you've already made the choice. Now you have to understand it.

Neo: No. I can't do that. I won't.

The Oracle: Well, you have to.

Neo: Why?

The Oracle: Ok, I know I asked you to only ask why but it's getting old. You have to because you are the One.

Neo: What if I can't? What happens if I fail?

The Oracle: Then Zion is royally boned.

(On Neb)

Morpheus: Hey! That's my speech!

(Matrix)

(Seraph comes up to The Oracle and puts his hand on her shoulder)

The Oracle: Our time is up. Listen to me, Neo. You can save Zion, if you reach the source, but to do that you need the Keymaker.

Neo: The Keymaker?

The Oracle: Is there an echo in here? Yes, the Keymaker. He disappeared. We didn't know what happened to him until now. He's being held prisoner by a very dangerous program, one of the oldest of us. He is called the Merovingian and he will not let him go willingly.

Neo: What does he want?

The Oracle: What do all men with power want? More power.

Neo: I guess that takes care of the who would benefit.

The Oracle: Yes, it does.

(The Oracle hands Neo a piece of paper)

The Oracle: Be there, at that exact time and you will have a chance.

Seraph: We must go.

The Oracle: Seems like every time we meet I got nothing but bad news. Life's a bitch, ain't it? I'm sorry about that. I surely am. So I must apologize.

Neo: No! That's ok!

The Oracle: Ok, but for what it's worth you've made a believer out of me. Good luck, kiddio.

(Seraph opens the door the he and Neo came from and the Oracle and him walk into it)

(Neo turns around)

The Burly Brawl

(Agent Smith walks and birds fly away from him as he approaches)

Agent Smith: Mr. Anderson. How you been? I missed you so much!

Neo: Yeah, me too.

Agent Smith: Did you get my package?

Neo: Yeah.

Agent Smith: Well, good.

(On Neb)

Morpheus: Bob, I mean Smith.

Link: Whoever he is, he's not reading like an agent.

(Matrix)

Agent Smith: Surprised to see me?

Neo: No.

Agent Smith: Then you're aware of it.

Neo: Of what?

Agent Smith: Our connection. I don't fully understand how it happened. Perhaps some part of you imprinted onto me, something overwritten or copied. That is at this point irrelevant, what matters is that whatever happened, happened for a reason. Don't I seem more badass in this movie?

Neo: Yeah. And what reason is that?

Agent Smith: I killed you, Mr. Anderson, I watched you die... With a certain satisfaction, I might add, and then something happened. Something that I knew was impossible, but it happened anyway. Pizza Hut offered 2 pizzas and then the 3rd free.

Neo: Yeah, but I didn't have coupon so I bitched at their manager from a pay phone.

Agent Smith: Yeah, something else happened too. You destroyed me, Mr. Anderson. Afterward, I knew the rules, I understood what I was supposed to do but I didn't. I couldn't. I was compelled to stay, compelled to disobey. My daddy would have whooped me good but he's a Windows 98 operating system. And now here I stand because of you, Mr. Anderson, because of you I'm no longer an agent of the system, because of you I've changed - I'm unplugged - a new man, so to speak, like you, apparently free.

Neo: Congratulations.

Agent Smith: Thank you. But as you well know, appearances can be deceiving, which brings me back to the reason why we're here. We're not here because we're free; we're here because we're not free.

Neo: You're not free!

Agent Smith: Your mom's not free!

Neo: Na uh!

Agent Smith: There's no escaping reason, no denying purpose - because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist.

Agent Smith 2: It is purpose that created us,

Agent Smith 3: Purpose that connects us,

Agent Smith 4: Purpose that pulls us,

Agent Smith 5: That guides us,

Agent Smith 6: That drives us,

Agent Smith 7: It is purpose that defines,

Agent Smith 8: Purpose that binds us.

All Smiths: What good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?

Neo: I thought we figured that out.

Agent Smith: Yeah, well, people forget things, Ok? You think I'm perfect! Well I'm not!

Neo: God, it's just a phone call.

Agent Smith: We're here because of you, Mr. Anderson; we're here to take from you what you tried to take from us.

(Agent Smith thrusts his hand into Neo's stomach)

Agent Smith: Purpose.

(On Neb)

(Neo flails)

Trinity: What's happening to him?

Link: Don't know.

(Matrix)

Agent Smith: Yes, that's it; it'll be over soon.

(Neo pulls Agent Smith's hand out of him)

(At that moment, two other Agent Smiths grabs Neo's shoulders thus beginning the Burly Brawl)

(Neo and 8 Agent Smiths begin to fight)

(See movie for fight details)

(Throughout the whole fight, Agent Smith 4 just runs in circles hitting himself)

(In about 4 minutes, a woman walks in)

(She looks at the fight)

(She drops her bags and becomes Agent Jackson)

(Agent Jackson begins to walk towards the fight)

(An Agent Smith grabs his shoulder)

(Agent Jackson turns around)

Agent Jackson: You!

Agent Smith: Yes, me.

(Agent Smith thrusts his hand into Agent Jackson)

Agent Smith: Me, me, me.

Agent Smith 2: Me too.

Agent Smith: No, me!

Agent Smith 2: Me!

Both: Me!

Agent Smith: Focus! Let's get Mr. Anderson!

Agent Smith 2: Ok.

(Neo fights about 12 Agent Smiths)

(About 30 seconds later, 38 more Agent Smiths come out of various doors and gates)

(Fight continues)

(About 3 minutes later, Neo pulls out a metal tube from the ground)

(Fight continues)

(About 1 minute later Neo hits Agent Smith and he crashes through a bench and hits a wall)

Agent Smith: More.

(Fight Continues)

(45 seconds later, 50 Agent Smiths bust through various doors)

(Fight Continues until dog pile)

Agent Smith: It is inevitable.

(Agent Smith sniffs Neo)

Agent Smith: You smell nice.

Neo: Thanks, it's a new cologne.

Agent Smith: It's very nice, Mr. Anderson.

(Agent Smith does a really bad grrr face)

(On neb)

Trinity: Come on, get out of there.

(Matrix)

(Neo busts out of the dog pile)

(He grabs an Agent Smith and throws him at the others)

(Neo flies away)

(Agent Smith looks around at all of the other Agent Smiths)

Agent Smith: You guys suck ass.

(Agent Smith 4 continues to just run around in circles)

I Feel Good

(On Neb)

(Trinity removes the plug from Neo's neck)

Trinity: Are you all right?

(Neo nods yes)

Morpheus: It was Smith?

Neo: Yes.

Morpheus: Now there's more than one of them?

Neo: A lot more.

Morpheus: Now I can write my children's book!

Trinity: Really? Read us a passage!

Morpheus: Ok. Eh-hem. One Smith, two Smith, red Smith, blue Smith.

Link: Very good, Sir. Neo, how's that possible?

Neo: I don't know. Somehow, he's found a way to copy himself.

Morpheus: Is that what he was doing to you?

Neo: I don't know what he was doing, but I know what it felt like.

Morpheus: I know what I feel like!

Link: What, sir?

Morpheus: I feel good! Do do do do do do do! I knew that I would! Do do do do do do do! I feel good!

(Trinity hits Morpheus)

Morpheus: Ow!

Trinity: Let Neo tell it!

Morpheus: Fine, what did it feel like, Neo?

Neo: it felt like I was back in that hallway. It felt like dying.

Morpheus: Oooh! It felt like dying, did it? Well, fine. You know what? I foresee that you two are going to die and I'll be left alive!

Link: What about me, Sir?

Morpheus: The future is unclear.

Who Will Answer the Call?

(Except for the Neb's crew, all crews of ships, Commander Lock, and the Zion Council are in the Council meeting chamber)

Commander Lock: As you can see by the chart, which we have to thank my own beautiful artwork for, the machines are tunneling to avoid our defense system. I believe that the Machines will try to cut through mainlines in order to control them. This is critical because I believe it is their weakness.

Council Leader: Commander Lock, we like your plan but we don't like you. The Council and I have met and we have decided on several ways to piss you off. Firstly, we ask if there has been word from the Nebuchadnezzar.

Commander Lock: No word.

Council Leader: Then we ask that a ship be dispatched to ascertain the fate of the Nebuchadnezzar.

Commander Lock: With all due respect, Councilor it would take a single ship days to find the Neb.

Hamann: Then send two.

Council Leader: Nice impromptu pissing off strategy.

Hamann: Thanks.

Commander Lock: With all due respect, we can't order the captains.

Council Leader: There's no need for such an order. The captains are present, they can decide on their own. Are there two among you who would answer such a call?

Captain 2: I'm not answering the call, but I just want to know where are we and who are you?

Ghost: For the love of God! There's only one place we would be!

Captain 2: The Matrix?

Ghost: That's it! You! Die! Just, just die now!

Council Leader: Anybody?

(Nobody stands)

Council Leader: Ok. Fine.

(Council Leader presses a button with the word "Soren" on it)

(Soren is shocked by electricity and jumps up)

Council Leader: Captain Soren, so nice of you to volunteer.

Soren: But I didn't say I would.

Council Leader: Too damn late. Anybody else?

(Over to Bane and Ballard)

Bane/Smith: Captain, I think we should volunteer.

Ballard: Bane! Shut your hole before I put you in one.

Bane/Smith: You can't do that because I'm not Agent Smith!

Ballard: Shut up!

Council Leader: So, nobody else, eh?

Commander Lock: It's hard for any captain to.

Niobe: Captain Niobe of the Logos will answer the Council's call.

Council Leader: Ok, meeting adjourned!

(Everybody gets up to leave)

(Commander Lock rushes to Niobe)

Commander Lock: Niobe, why did.

Niobe: Because something in this world change, Jason. Others do not. Some change then quickly change back. Some say they'll change but then don't. Or the opposite. The point is I'm going so yeah.

Merovingian Time!

(Morpheus, Neo, and Trinity walk into an elevator)

(Other people try to move into the elevator)

(Morpheus shakes his head no)

(The elevator closes)

Morpheus: What can you see, Neo.

Neo: I don't know. The code is somehow different.

Trinity: Encrypted?

Neo: Maybe.

Morpheus: It's telling us to go to the dog track. You know, the one for free minds.

Neo: I thought that was just a group of losers who meet at the bottom of Zion and race rats.

Morpheus: Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't know! But still the code is telling us to go to the track.

Neo and Trinity: No!

Morpheus: Just remember what I said about the death thing. Neo, what does it look like?

Neo: Well, it looks like every floor is wired with explosives.

Morpheus: Damn shitty national security. Yes.

Neo: Why Morpheus? Why do you say "Yes" like that every time somebody curses?

Morpheus: Because It makes me sound badass and cool. Yes.

(The elevator opens and they walk out)

(A host is waiting at a podium)

Host: Bonjure.

Morpheus: What the?

Neo: He said hello.

Morpheus: Ok, Bondage Shore! We're here to speak with the Merovingian.

Host: Ah! He has been expecting you. Walk this way.

(The waiter begins to walk in funny way)

(Morpheus imitates him)

Morpheus: You get it? He said to walk this way, so I did!

Host: Are you making fun of my limp that I got defending this country in Desert Storm?

Morpheus: I could use some dessert.

(Neo Looks and sees a man being led away)

Merovingian: Ah! If it isn't Neo, the One himself. And the legendary Morpheus.

Morpheus: I like shiny things!

Merovingian: And Trinity. Come! Please! Sit! This is my wife, Persephone. And these are my most loyal henchmen, the twins, Larry and Andy Wachowski Brothers. Would you like something to eat? Drink?

Morpheus: I could use some caffeine.

Trinity: Not this close to bed. You remember what happened last time.

Morpheus: I think it's pretty obvious that I do, but explain it for our audience.

Merovingian: What audience?

Morpheus: Exactly.

(The Spoon Kid enters)

Spoon Kid: There is no audience.

Neo: Damn you! You die! You go to hell and you die!

(Spoon Kid leaves)

Merovingian: So nothing? Ok. Who has the time? Who has time? But then if we do not ever take time, how can we ever have time?

(Merovingian sips his wine)

Merovingian: Château Haut-Brion 1959, magnificent wine, I love French wine, like I love the French language. I have sampled every language, French is my favorite - fantastic language, especially to curse with. Putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère! [Trans: Whore of brothel of shit of filth of jerk of fucking your mother up the ass.]

Morpheus: Wee.

(Morpheus shifts his eyes for a few seconds)

Merovingian: You see, it's like wiping your ass with silk, I love it.

Morpheus: That sounds like something a homo would do. What was the name of that guy who used to be on the ship? Curly Joe? Mumbling Jim? Neo?

Neo: I'm Neo.

Morpheus: Shut up, Curly Joe.

Trinity: The gay guy's name was Cipher.

Morpheus: Yeah, Mumbling Jim. Wasn't he gay?

Trinity: Yeah.

Merovingian: Now why are you here?

Morpheus: You know why we are here.

Merovingian: Hmph... I am a trafficker of information, I know everything I can. The question is, do you know why you are here?

(Morpheus leans in close to Merovingian)

Morpheus: I want to place a bet on Losing Hound in the third race today.

(Trinity pulls Morpheus back)

Morpheus: (Under breath) Bitch.

Trinity: What was that?

Morpheus: Nothing.

Neo: We're here for the Keymaker.

Merovingian: Oh yes, it is true. The Keymaker, of course. But this is not a reason, this is not a `why.' The Keymaker himself, his very nature, is means, it is not an end, and so, to look for him is to be looking for a means to do... what?

Neo: You know the answer to that question.

Merovingian: But do you? You think you do but you do not. You are here because you were sent here, you were told to come here and you obeyed.

(Merovingian chuckles)

Merovingian: It is, of course, the way of all things. You see, there is only one constant, one universal, it is the only real truth: causality. Action. Reaction. Cause and effect.

Morpheus: Everything begins with choice. Or a betting slip. Losing Hound in the third race for example.

(Morpheus winks and mouths the words "500 dollars")

Merovingian: No. Wrong. Choice is an illusion, created between those with power, and those without. Look there, at that woman. My God, just look at her.

(Camera shows a woman talking at a table)

Merovingian: Affecting everyone around her, so obvious, so bourgeois, so boring. But wait... Watch - you see, I have sent her dessert.

(Camera shows a slice of pie in code)

Merovingian: A very special dessert. I wrote it myself.

(The camera shows the pie being sliced with a fork)

It starts so simply, each line of the program creating a new effect, just like poetry.

(Code view of woman)

Merovingian: First, a rush... heat... her heart flutters.

(Merovingian on camera)

Merovingian: You can see it, Neo, yes? She does not understand why - is it the wine? No. What is it then, what is the reason? And soon it does not matter, soon the why and the reason are gone, and all that matters is the feeling itself. This is the nature of the universe. We struggle against it, we fight to deny it, but it is of course pretense, it is a lie. Beneath our poised appearance, the truth is we are completely out of control. Causality. There is no escape from it, we are forever slaves to it. Our only hope, our only peace is to understand it, to understand the `why.' `Why' is what separates us from them, you from me. `Why' is the only real social power it is the only source of power.

Neo: I'm looking for the source!

Merovingian: That's nice.

Neo: The Oracle, she said this would happen. That the who and the what wasn't important. Only the why. Damn Oracle logic!

Merovingian: Well, as I was saying, without "why" you are powerless. And this is how you come to me, without `why,' without power. Another link in the chain. But fear not, since I have seen how good you are at following orders, I will tell you what to do next. Run back, and give the fortuneteller this message: Her time is almost up. Now I have some real business to do, I will say adieu and goodbye.

Neo: This isn't over.

Merovingian: Oh yes, it is. The Keymaker is mine and I see no reason why I should give him up. No reason at all.

Persephone: Where are you going?

Merovingian: Please, ma chérie, I've told you, we are all victims of causality. I drink too much wine, I must take a piss. Cause and effect. Au revoir [Trans: Goodbye].

(Morpheus shifts his eyes for a few seconds)

(Morpheus leans in to Persephone)

Morpheus: I think he's cheating on you. If you want to get back at him in an equal way then let me know.

Trinity: Let's go, Morpheus

(Morpheus does the "call me" hand gesture).

(Merovingian's Henchmen get up)

(Vampire 1 gets up and hovers over Trinity's shoulder)

Trinity: Touch me and that hand will never touch anything again.

(A twig pokes Trinity's face)

Trinity: Morpheus!

Morpheus: Neo!

Neo: Merovingian!

Merovingian: Henchmen!

Vampire 1: Sorry, sir.

(The Henchmen escort Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity to the elevator)

(Larry W blows Trinity a kiss)

(The elevator closes)

Morpheus: Are you certain the Oracle didn't say anything else?

Neo: Yes.

Trinity: Maybe we did something wrong.

Neo: Or didn't do something.

Morpheus: No, what happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way.

Neo: You said happened a lot.

Morpheus: Indeed I did. Happened.

Neo: How do you know?

Morpheus: We are still alive.

(The elevator door opens)

Persephone: If you want the Keymaker, follow me.

Mental Breakdown and a Kiss

(Persephone walks into the men's' room followed by Neo, Morpheus and Trinity)

(Persephone turns to a man pissing)

Persephone: Get out!

(The man zips up his fly and runs out)

Persephone: I'm so sick of his bullshit. On and on, pompous prick. A long time ago, when we first came here, it was so different. He was so different. He was like you. I'll give you what you want. But you have to give me something.

Morpheus: What?

Persephone: Not you, Neo. Neo, you must give me a kiss.

Trinity: Excuse me?

Morpheus: Come on, baby, what did I do? Whatever it is I can change. We can still make this work.

Persephone: There never was anything!

Morpheus: Why must you be in denial!

Persephone: I want you to kiss me as if you were kissing her.

Neo: Why?

Morpheus: Yeah, this better be good you, you.

Neo: Morpheus!

Persephone: You love her. She loves you. It's all over you both. A long time ago, I knew what that felt like. I want to remember it. I want to sample it. That's all, just a sample.

Trinity: Why don't you sample this instead?

Morpheus: Yeah, sample that, you bitch!

Persephone: Such emotion over something so small. It's just a kiss.

Morpheus: Yeah, what's one little kiss to a whore?

Neo: Morpheus!

Morpheus: I'm a little stressed out right now so you need to chill, ok?

Trinity: Yeah Neo, listen to Morpheus. Seriously. Listen to him. I'm sorry Morpheus, it just sounds wrong when I say to listen to what you say.

Morpheus: That's cool.

Neo: Why should we trust you?

Persephone: If I don't deliver you to the Keymaker, she can kill me.

Morpheus: I can't even kill you? Who the hell do you think you are?

Neo: All right.

Morpheus: What?!

Persephone: But you have to make me believe I am her.

Neo: All right.

(Neo kisses Persephone)

Persephone: Terrible. Forget it.

Morpheus: Kill her, Trinity!

Neo: Wait. Okay.

(Neo passionately kisses Persephone)

Persephone: Ahh, yes. That's it. I envy you. But such a thing is not meant to last. Come with me.

(They all start to walk out the door)

(Morpheus does the fake sneeze and says slut)

(Morpheus punches Neo in the arm)

Neo: What was that for?

Morpheus: What the hell do you think that was for? You stay away from my woman!

(All walk through the kitchen)

(Persephone closes some doors)

(She puts a key in them and turns it)

(She opens the doors reveling a Great Hall room)

Feeding Tank

(Link is operating on the Neb)

Link: Not again. Where'd they go?

(A beep noise is heard)

Link: Whoops, time to feed Tank.

(Link grabs a bucket and climbs up a ladder)

(Link opens a hatch)

Cain and Able

(Persephone opens a door and Neo and Co. follows)

(Cain and Able get up)

Persephone: Relax boys, they're with me. These fellas work for my husband, they do his dirty work. They're very good, very loyal. Aren't you, boys?

Cain and Abel: Yes, Mistress.

Persephone: They come from a much older version of the Matrix, but like so many back then, they caused more problems than they solved. My husband saved them because they're notoriously difficult to terminate. How many people keep silver bullets in their gun?

(Persephone shoots Able)

Morpheus: I do!

(Morpheus shoot Able)

Morpheus: See, I killed him!

Neo: Morpheus, he was already dead.

Morpheus: I know, I just wanted to feel important.

(Cain starts to sneak away)

Persephone: You can either run to the restaurant and tell my husband what I have done, or you can stay here and die.

(Cain runs out the door)

Persephone: He's in the ladies' room... Hurry.

(Persephone pulls a book revealing a hidden passage)

(All enter)

The Keymaker

(Neo opens a door)

(The Keymaker is inside making a key)

Neo: hello. My name is Neo.

Keymaker: Yes, I'm the Keymaker.

Morpheus: if that's true then what does this key open?

(Morpheus holds up a key)

Keymaker: That's a keycard. For that you need the Keycard Maker. But if I had to guess, I'd say a hotel room at a Holiday Inn. Room 303 as it says on the card.

Morpheus: Well played.

Cheatu Fight

Merovingian: Oh God, my God, Persephone how could you do this, you betrayed me! Putain de bordel de saloperie de couille de merde! [Trans: Whore of brothel of filth of testicle of shit]

Morpheus: Wee.

Persephone: Cause and effect, my love.

Merovingian: Cause? There is no cause for this, what cause?

Persephone: What cause? How about the lipstick you're still wearing?

Merovingian: Lipstick? Lipstick? What craziness you are talking about woman, there is no lipstick.

Persephone: She wasn't kissing your face, my love.

Morpheus: Wha-oh! Too much info! Awkward!

(Neo turns and looks at Morpheus)

Morpheus: What?

Merovingian: Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai, woman, this is nothing, c'est rien, c'est rien du tout. [Trans: This is nothing, this is nothing at all] It's a game, it is only a game.

Persephone: So is this. Have fun.

Merovingian: All right. All right. Let us find out where this goes. You two, get the Keymaker.

(Larry W and Andy W phase into ghost mode and sink into the floor)

Larry and Andy W: Help! We're stuck in the floor again! And you stole our movie!

Trinity: That's a nice trick.

Keymaker: I cannot go back.

(The Keymaker runs away)

Neo: I'll handle them.

Morpheus: All right. Can I have your electricity gun?

Neo: No!

(Morpheus and Trinity follow the Keymaker)

Merovingian: Handle us? You'll handle us? You know, your predecessors had much more respect.

(Merovingian's Henchmen begin to shoot at Neo)

(Neo holds up his hand to stop the bullets)

(All of the bullets stop)

(Neo drops his hand and the bullets fall)

Merovingian: Okay, you have some skill. Kill him.

(Neo and the henchmen begin to fight. Use movie for fight details)

(Neo stops a sword with his hand and begins to bleed)

Neo: Ow! That's it! I'm angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.

(Seraph enters)

Seraph: Neo, I must apologize. I just slashed your tires.

Neo: Ahh!

(Neo just bleeds some more)

(Seraph leaves)

Merovingian: You see, he's just a man.

(Fight continues)

Merovingian: Damn it, woman, you will be the end of me. Mark my words, boy, and mark them well. I have survived your predecessors, and I will survive you!

(Merovingian walks through the door back into the restaurant and then trips)

(The door closes just as Neo rams through it showing the mountains)

Garage Hallway

(Morpheus, Trinity, and The Keymaker continue to run)

Trinity: Where are you going?

Keymaker: Another way, always another way.

(Larry W. begins to phase through the floor)

(Morpheus grabs a sword and runs through the door)

Keymaker: Close it, quick.

(Larry W runs and blocks the door with his arm)

(Morpheus shoots at the arm)

Larry W: Could we move along?

(Andy W flies through the door and goes behind Trinity and puts a knife to her throat)

Keymaker: Run!

Andy W: Step away from the door, you movie stealers!

(Morpheus backs away from the door)

(Larry W enters)

Andy W: We owe you for that.

(Larry W goes into ghost form and is repaired)

Larry W: Just like new.

Andy W: Drop your weapon.

(Morpheus drops his sword and begins to shoot at Andy W)

(Trinity runs away toward the Keymaker)

Morpheus: Stay with him.

Trinity: What about Neo?

Morpheus: He can handle himself.

(Trinity goes up to a car)

Trinity: Get in the back.

(The Keymaker gets in the back)

(Neo runs down the hallway)

(Andy W smiles and then closes the door as Neo busts through it)

Neo: Oh shit.

(Neo gets out his cell phone)

(Switch to neb)

Link: Operator.

Neo: Link, where am I?

Link: You're not gonna believe this, but you're all the way up in the mountains.

(Matrix)

Neo: Really.

(Neb)

Link: Yeah, it's gonna take me a while to get up an exit. Oh shit.

Neo: What?

Link: Those movie-making things are after Morpheus and Trinity, and I don't have a way to get them out.

Neo: Where are they?

Link: Middle of the City, 500 miles due south.

(Matrix)

(Neo begins to "fly")

Find an Exit

(A car flies out of a garage with Morpheus, Trinity and the Keymaker in it)

Morpheus: We're boned.

(Morpheus picks up his cell phone)

(Neb)

Link: Operator.

(Matrix)

Morpheus: Get us out of here Link.

(Neb)

Link: That won't be easy sir.

(Matrix)

Morpheus: I know. We're inside the core network.

Link: Yes sir. The only exit I got near you is Winslow overpass.

Morpheus: Off the freeway?

Link: Yes sir.

Morpheus: Fine. We'll make it.

Link: Sir, I think I should say.Oh shit! Look out, incoming fire!

Morpheus: Down!

(Everyone ducks down)

Trinity: Hold on!

Link: Oh no, this getting real ugly real fast.

Morpheus: Are you watching this Link?

Link: Yes sir. There's an all points on you. I make 8 units heading your way.

Morpheus: Any suggestions?

Link: Turn left.

Morpheus: Left, now!

Trinity: Left?

Morpheus: Right.

Trinity: Right?

Morpheus: Right.

Link: Sir, I meant right. Hope you're still alive.

Morpheus: It's ok. We turned right.

Link: Now straight here, go through the next branch, you'll hit a connecting tunnel to the 101.

Morpheus: Got it.

Link: Sir, are you sure about this? The freeway, I mean. It's dangerous, in 14 years of operating, I've never seen...

Morpheus: Link, what did I tell you?

Link: I can't remember. You've told me lots of things.

Morpheus: I said don't take that sass tone with me!

Link: Yes sir. I won't sir. Winslow Overpass. I'll be ready.

Morpheus: Good man.

(Morpheus closes his phone)

Trinity: You've always told me to stay off the freeway.

Morpheus: Yes, that's true.

Trinity: You said it was suicide.

Morpheus: Then let us hope that I was wrong.

(Morpheus loads a gun)

The Freeway

(Warehouse)

Niobe: Link, it's Niobe. We've been sent to bring you in. I need to talk to Morpheus.

(Neb)

Link: Believe me, Niobe, he needs you.

Niobe: Where is he?

Link: Just follow the sirens.

(Morpheus's car goes through the tunnel)

(Morpheus is shooting at the Twins)

(Andy W is shooting back)

(Switch to cop car)

Cop 1: They're approaching -Ahh!

(Cop 1 turns into Agent Thompson and Cop 2 turns into Agent Johnson)

Agent Thompson: We have them now.

Agent Johnson: The exile is the primary target.

Agent Thompson: Really? We're not gonna try and kill Morpheus?

Agent Johnson: Let's play it by ear.

(Back to Morpheus's car)

(Use far shots for freeway)

(See movie for details)

(Larry W phases)

Morpheus: Move!

(Larry W flies into car and lands in back seat)

(Larry W grabs the Keymaker and puts a knife to his throat)

(Morpheus points a gun at Larry W)

Larry W: Come on, Morpheus, it IS or movie. (Larry W hits the gun out of Morpheus's hand)

Larry W: You can't do anything that we don't know about because we made it!

(Morpheus hesitates then punches Larry W)

Morpheus: That's for the predictable ending in Revolutions!

(Larry W phases and falls out the back of the car)

Morpheus: Dumbass!

(The W's car pulls up and Larry W phases into it)

Larry W: We are getting aggravated.

Andy W: Yes, we are.

Fun with Agents on the Freeway

(Morpheus looks over and sees the cop car with Agents Thompson and Johnson in it)

(Agent Thompson gets out of the car and jumps onto a nearby car)

(From it, he jumps onto Morpheus's car)

(Agent Thompson rips off the roof)

(Morpheus begins to shoot at Agent Thompson)

(Agent Thompson dodges)

(Trinity slams the breaks and Agent Thompson flies onto the freeway)

(Agent Thompson looks around a bit, pissed off)

Motorist: Hey! Get off the road you agent of this fake world! Damn programs!

(A cop car pulls along side Morpheus and Co with Agent Thompson inside)

(Agent Thompson shoots)

(Agent Thompson shots out the tire)

(Agent Thompson moves the car to ram Morpheus and Co.)

(Agent Thompson misses)

Agent Thompson: Crap! How could I miss! Damn you, Morpheus!

Morpheus: I didn't do it this time!

(Agent Thompson hits Morpheus and Co 3 times)

Sword Play

(Trinity drives the car onto an off ramp)

(All get out)

Morpheus: Trinity!

(Trinity turns around)

Morpheus: Get him out of here.

Trinity: Come on.

(Trinity and the Keymaker jump off of the bridge and onto a truck carrying motorcycle)

(The Keymaker racks himself on a motorcycle)

Keymaker: Oww! Even to a program, that hurts!

(Back to Morpheus)

(Morpheus turns around and is carrying his sword)

(W's car approaches)

Larry W: Wait, remember, in Reloaded, Morpheus ducked out of the way at the last minute and sliced our car.

Andy W: Ok, I'll veer to the left.

(W's car veers to the left)

(Morpheus remains where he is)

(Morpheus looks over the edge)

Morpheus: Oooh, shiny car on the freeway!

Andy W: He tricked us!

(Morpheus unknowing slices the car)

(The car flips)

Morpheus: Oh, right!

(Morpheus shoots the gas tank and it explodes)

Motorcycle Fun

(Trinity turns around to see the car explode)

(Neb)

Link: He's ok, keep moving.

(Matrix)

Trinity: Come on!

(The Keymaker follows Trinity to the front of the truck)

Keymaker: You know, I am still in a little pain.

(Trinity goes to a motorcycle)

(Trinity opens her phone and calls Link)

Trinity: Link, I need a download for how to hotwire a motorcycle.

(Neb)

Link: Not a problem. One crash course in.

(Matrix)

Trinity: Wait. Cancel that.

(The Keymaker pulls out a key)

Trinity: You are handy.

(Trinity puts it in the motorcycle and turns it)

(Nothing happens)

Trinity: Damn you, Keymaker.

Keymaker: What did I do?

Trinity: You gave me the wrong key!

Keymaker: Bitch, bitch, bitch.

Trinity: Yes. Oh, oh, oh God no! Not like this, not like this. Ah!

Keymaker: Oh, this is the right key.

(The Keymaker puts the key in the ignition)

(Trinity gets on the motorcycle)

Trinity: Get on.

Motorcycle Chase

(Trinity drives the motorcycle off of the front of the truck)

(Truck Driver looks in awe)

Truck Driver: You damn kids and your matrix-ises!

(Trinity drives the motorcycle)

(See movie for details)

(At one point, Trinity drives on the shoulder and passes a truck)

(Truck Driver 2 looks over)

Truck Driver 2: What the-?

(Truck Driver 2 turns into Agent Johnson)

(Agent Johnson moves to squash Trinity and the Keymaker)

(Trinity breaks and barely misses the truck)

(Trinity stops)

(Trinity travels against the traffic on the freeway)

(See movie for details)

(At one point, a cop car on the other side passes a barrier)

(Before the barrier, a cop, after, Agent Thompson)

(Agent Thompson begins to shoot at Trinity and the Keymaker)

(Morpheus sees from a truck top)

(Morpheus stabs his sword into the truck)

(Morpheus steps on the sword, supports himself with the two trucks and grabs the Keymaker)

(The Keymaker flies up and lands on one of the trucks)

(Trinity keeps driving)

(A car with Agent Thompson and Johnson follows)

Agent Johnson: See means nothing.

Agent Thompson: Find the exile.

Agent Johnson: We have them.

(View of Agent Thompson standing over a bridge)

Voice: One Adam 12, please respond.

Agent Fight

(Agent Thompson jumps and lands on the truck with Morpheus and the Keymaker)

Agent Thompson: Shit! That hurt! Damn! Ow! Hey you guys, if you ever have to jump off a bridge onto a moving truck, don't. I'll ruin your weekend.

Morpheus: Get down.

(Morpheus and Agent Thompson begin to fight)

(See movie for details)

(At one point, Morpheus is slid to the edge of the truck)

(He looks down and sees his sword)

(On the truck, Agent Thompson fixes his tie)

(Morpheus jumps up and slices off Agent Thompson's tie)

(Morpheus does some badass sword moves and then his bring it on gesture)

(Morpheus and Agent Thompson fight)

(See movie for details)

(Agent Thompson hits Morpheus and he barely stands on the back of the truck)

(He falls)

(Morpheus lands on Niobe's car)

Niobe: Got ya.

(Morpheus turns around in surprise)

(Neb)

Link: She's good.

(Matrix)

(On truck)

Agent Thompson: You are no longer necessary.

(Keymaker sees Morpheus and Niobe and Ghost)

(Keymaker moves out of the way)

Keymaker: We do only what we're meant to do.

Agent Thompson: Then you are meant for one more thing. Umm.you know, it rhymes with shmiletion. Umm...it's on the tip of my tongue, del, del, dude you're getting a dell, no, del, Spanish contraction, no. Ah! Deletion! You're meant for deletion!

(On car)

Niobe: Go kick his ass.

Morpheus: No, I'm good.

Niobe: Morpheus.

Morpheus: Fine, I'm goin'.

(Morpheus jumps onto the truck and kicks Agent Thompson into a car)

Agent Thompson: (as he's falling) I regret nothing!

(Truck Driver 3 turns into Agent Thompson)

Truck Driver 3: Ahhh!

(Agent Thompson hits Niobe's car)

(Niobe and Ghost drive away)

(In another truck on the other side of the freeway, Agent Johnson appears)

(Agent Johns turns his truck so it going to hit the truck that Morpheus is on head on)

(Cars flip)

(Morpheus sees the other truck coming)

Morpheus: Neo, if you're out there, I'm still pissed at you for stealing Persephone from me and I'm gonna kick your ass, but I could use some help right now.

(The trucks hit in a bullet time extravaganza)

(Neo picks up Morpheus and the Keymaker)

(Neb)

Link: Yes!!

That'll Do Good

Zion Man: Sir. We have confirmation from the Icarus. The first two ships are in position for the counterattack.

Commander Lock: Good. Any change?

Zion Woman: Looks like they hit some iron ore here, slowed them down a little.

(Zion Woman points at screen)

Commander Lock: How much?

Zion Woman: An hour, maybe.

Commander Lock: That'd give them a little over 9 hours. That really helped! We're completely saved now that the almighty iron saved us! This was really important! You just saved Zion! Yeah, an hour! That'll do good. If we wanted to die a horrible death because of giant killing machines!

Zion Woman: Yes sir.

(Zoom in on two digging machines being displayed on a screen)

(The machines are seen like they are in the movie)

Building

(Ghost and Niobe enter a room with Morpheus, Neo, Trinity, Vector, Soren, and Binary in it)

Morpheus: Ghost, Niobe. As you know, time is always against us. Please sit down.

Niobe: There are no chairs left.

Morpheus: I don't need your shit right now, um kay? So let's just all shut up and listen to Keymakin' John's speech.

(The Keymaker looks at Morpheus)

Keymaker: There's a building. Inside this building there's a level where no elevator can go, and no stair can reach. This level is filled with doors. These doors lead to many places, hidden places, but one door is special. One door leads to the Source. Another leads to a KFC, another to behind a girl's locker room shower. That one was last used during the filming of Porky's.

Morpheus: I knew it!

Keymaker: This building is protected by a very secure system. Every alarm triggers the bomb.

Vector: Bomb? Did he say bomb?

Morpheus: From here it sounded like he said Frito lay.

(Everybody looks at Morpheus)

Morpheus: What? What'd I do?

Keymaker: But like all systems it has a weakness. The system is based on the rules of a building. One system built on another.

Morpheus: Burning monkeys.

(Neo looks at Morpheus)

Neo: Morpheus, I don't think that even makes any sense.

Morpheus: Ok, I'll guess again. What is it, a dollar a play? Electricity.

Keymaker: If one fails, so must the other.

Niobe: No electricity, no alarms.

Morpheus: No alarms means I can do what I've always wanted!

Niobe: What would that be?

Morpheus: I'm not at liberty to say.

(Morpheus shifts his eyes)

Ghost: But you'd have to take out a whole city block to kill the power to a building like that.

Keymaker: Not one, 27.

Vector: 27 blocks?

Keymaker: There is a power station. It must be destroyed.

Niobe: There must be some kind of failsafe.

Keymaker: Yes, there is an emergency system. The core network of the grid must be accessed. The emergency system must be deactivated.

Soren: Then what do you need us for? Neo could take 'em both out easier than we could.

Keymaker: There's no time.

Niobe: Why?

Keymaker: Once the door is unprotected, the connection will be severed. But another connection must first be made.

Ghost: How long will that take?

Keymaker: Exactly 314 seconds.

Soren: Just over 5 minutes.

Ghost: Ok, Soren, remember the meeting and the sewer meeting.

Soren: Yeah?

Ghost: Well, remember what I did to that other captain?

Soren: Yeah?

Ghost: Don't make me do that to you. Ok? No obvious comments.

Soren: Ok. Keymaker, why 314 seconds?

Keymaker: That is the length and breadth of the window. Only The One can open the door, and only during that window can the door be opened.

Niobe: How do you know all this?

Keymaker: I know because I must know. It's my purpose. It's the reason I'm here. Same reason we're all here.

Morpheus: I'm here to command a hovercraft!

Trinity: Morpheus, how the hell did they let you have a hovercraft anyway?

Morpheus: I don't know.

(Neo throws a shiny gum rapper past Morpheus)

(Morpheus jumps up and follows it)

(Jump Cut to the Neb)

Trinity: Neo, I know something's wrong. You don't have to tell me. I just want you to know that I'm here.

(Jump cut back to meeting)

Keymaker: All must be done as one.

(Neb)

Link: Can't hurt.

(Meeting)

Keymaker: If one fails, all fail. If two fail, then I'll go insane and kill all of you!

(Keymaker pulls out a knife)

Morpheus: At midnight, there's a shift change in the security of both buildings. At midnight, we will strike. If we have time, afterward we'll all meet up at the Taco Bell on Wabash and Eire.

(Guardroom)

Guard 1: Hey! You count sheep at home.

Guard 2: Why, I get paid to count 'em here.

(On security screen, Soren, Binary, and Vector enter)

(Vigilant)

Jax: Okay, they're inside.

Axel: How much time?

Jax: 12 minutes.

(Waning siren blares)

Axel: Oh shit!

(Phone rings)

Jax: Operator.

Morpheus (over phone) Yes.

(Jump Cut to meeting)

Morpheus: All of our lives we have fought this war. Tonight I believe we can end it. Tonight is not an accident. There are no accidents. Except when I hit that guy. Neo, Trin, you were there. Remember? We ran away. Remember?

Neo: Yes.

Morpheus: We have not come here by chance. I do not believe in chance when I see 3 objectives, 3 captains, 3 ships, 3 dollars on the floor. Mine!

(Morpheus dives for the money)

Morpheus: I also see 3 deaths if certain crewmembers of mine don't obey me. I do not see coincidence, I see providence, I see purpose. I believe it is our fate to be here. It is our destiny. I believe this night holds for each and every one of us the very meaning of our lives.

(Jump cut to neb)

Neo: I want to ask you to do something, but I don't know how.

Trinity: I promise you, if I can, I will.

Neo: What if I asked you to stay out of this, no matter what. To stay out of the matrix?

Trinity: Why?

Neo: Please.

Trinity: All right.

(Jump cut to meeting)

Morpheus: What is it, Niobe?

Niobe: I can't help it, Morpheus, I can't help thinking - what if you're wrong. What if all this - the prophecy, everything - is bullshit.

Morpheus: Yes. No! No, it isn't. If it is then I'll kill all of ya!

(Morpheus pulls out knife)

(The Keymaker pulls out his knife)

Keymaker: Ah!

Morpheus: Ah!

Keymaker: Ah!

Morpheus: Ah!

(Morpheus puts down his knife)

(Jump cut to Niobe kicking and hitting two power plant guards)

(Back to meeting)

Morpheus: Then tomorrow we may all be dead, but how would that be different from any other day?

(Show Sentinel preparing to release TOW bomb while Morpheus is talking)

Morpheus: This is a war, and we are soldiers. Death can come for us at any time, in any place.

(Vigilant)

Axel: Incoming. Incoming! Incoming!

(Axel breaks a catwalk and falls to his death)

(The falling catwalk impales Jax and his blood splatters all over the matrix feed screen)

(Jump cut back to meeting)

Morpheus: Now consider the alternative. What if I am right? What if the prophecy is true? What if tomorrow the war could be over? Isn't that worth fighting for? Isn't that worth dying for?

Trinity: No, not really.

Morpheus: What the hell? Just, what the hell? Why do you think you are, interrupting my kick-ass monologue!

(Jump Cut to Core Network Grid)

Soren: Time?

Vector: 3 minutes.

Binary: Almost there.

(Vigilant)

(The TOW bomb hits the Vigilant and it explodes)

(Soren, Vector, and Binary die)

(On the Neb an explosion is heard)

Link: Damn it Tank, I mean rats!

(Matrix)

(The Keymaker files a key)

Keymaker: It is time.

I'm Going In

Trinity: Find the others.

Link: Got Niobe right there, they're already out of the station.

Trinity: What about Soren?

Link: There, they're still inside, but...

Trinity: They're not moving.

(Matrix)

(The Keymaker looks at his watch)

(The Keymaker puts his key in the keyhole)

(Switch to the power plant)

(It explodes)

(Power goes out)

Morpheus: That's it, let's go.

(Morpheus, Neo, and the Keymaker enter the door)

(Neb)

Trinity: Call Neo now.

(Matrix)

(Morpheus closes the door)

(Neb)

Link: Lost them. They're inside the portal.

Trinity: What about the grid?

(Switch to the grid control room)

(Screen shows that power is being rerouted)

(Switch to street)

(Power goes back on)

(Neb)

Link: Everything's still operational. Emergency system's already rerouting power.

(Morpheus, Neo, and the Keymaker travel down the hall)

(Neb)

Link: Jesus. As soon as they open that door, it's all over.

Trinity: The hell it is.

Link: What are you... Trinity?

(Trinity prepares a panel)

Trinity: I will not stand here and do nothing. I will not wait here to watch them die.

Link: Trinity, we're talking less then 5 minutes here.

Trinity: In 5 minutes, I'll tear that whole goddamn building down.

(Back to hallway)

Neo: How much further?

Keymaker: Here, just here.

Smith: I'm sorry, this is a dead end.

(Neb)

Link: It's gotta be the ugliest hack I have ever done. That's as close as I can get ya. You better grow some wings.

(Trinity drives a motorcycle over a ledge)

(The motorcycle hits the guardroom and it explodes)

(Neb)

Link: Operator.

Trinity: I'm in.

Link: Keep moving, 65th floor.

Stop! It's Smith Time

Agent Smith: you look surprised to see me again, Mr. Anderson, that's the difference between us. I've been expecting you.

Neo: What do you want, Smith?

Agent Smith: Oh you haven't figured that out? Still using all the muscles except the one that matters. I want exactly what you want. I want everything.

Morpheus: Would that include a bullet from this gun?

Agent Smith: Go ahead, shoot. The best thing about being me - there's so many me.

(Many Smith's enter from various doors)

Agent Smith: In fact, I've prepared a song!

Agent Smith: Can't touch all of me. Can't touch all of me. Ju, ju, ju, ju, just like the bad guy from the matrix 2, I've got lots of me so Morpheus go ahead and shoot! I can take over an agent, even fly above the street. I can riot, loot, not give a hoot, even touch your sister's teet.

Morpheus: Hey!

Agent Smith: Can't touch all of me. Can't touch all of me. Stop! It's Smith time! I'm a big shot! There's no doubt! Stick my hand in an Agent and pull it out! He's me! Don't like it? Kiss my rump! Just for a minute let's all do the bump! Yeah! Do the bump! The Agent Smith Bump!

(All the Agent Smiths start to do the bump)

Agent Smith: I'm anti-One-ness Smith, programs think that too, don't care if you're a not free mind, I'll still take control of you. I've been around the world, from the Source to Zion's way.

It's Smith, Go Smith, I'm Sir Smith, Yo Smith, let's see Mr. Anderson rap this way.

Neo: All right.

Neo: Can't shoot me. Can't shoot me. Ju ju ju ju just like the agent from that old rooftop, I can't be hurt by anyone, not even a janitor with a mop. I can dodge a bullet real, real slow. I can fly, I can't die, so, Morpheus, sorry to see you cry. Can't shoot me. Can't shoot me. Stop! It's Neo Time. I'm a big shot, there's no doubt! Stick my hand up and the bullets go down. Don't like it? Kiss my rump. Just for a minute lets all do the bump! Yeah! Do the Neo bump! I'm supernatural Neo, Neb's crew thinks I'm hot don't care if you're the captain, I'll still sit in your spot.

Morpheus: You did that?

Neo: I've been around the world from the Oracle to LA. It's Neo, go Neo, I'm Sir Neo, Yo Neo let's see Morpheus rap this way.

Morpheus: No, I'm good. Oh what the hell, can't kill me! Can't kill me! Ju ju ju ju just like the guy who started this damn shit! There's no way you'll kill me, so don't throw a fit! I can shoot at an agent even get in a good quick line. You'll all die, I know why, I think he's gonna jump! Can't kill me. Can't kill me. Stop! Its Morpheus time! I'm a big shot there's no doubt! Stick my sword in the Wachowskis' car and pull it out! Don't like it? Please don't sue! Then I'll have to kill you too. Can't kill me. Can't kill me. I'm captain of the Neb, Persephone thinks I'm hot. Hold on I got a phone call.

(Morpheus opens his phone)

Persephone: I do not!

Morpheus: Damn it! I've been around the world from Zion to the fields. It's Morpheus, go Morpheus, I'm Morpheus, Yo Morpheus, an electricity gun is what I wields.

Trinity: Morpheus! You ended it before I got to do mine!

Agent Smith: You did a song in the last movie.

Trinity: So did you.

Morpheus: What movie?

(Everybody starts to fight)

(See movie for details)

(The Keymaker ducks into a door)

(switch to grid control room)

Computer Room Technician: Christ, what happened in here?

(Trinity enters)

Computer Room Guard: Hold it right there, little lady.

(Trinity knocks out the guard and tech)

(Switch back to Agent Smith fight)

(Everyone continues to fight)

(A few Smiths grab Morpheus)

Agent Smith: If you can't beat us.

Smith 2: Join us.

(Smiths stick their hands into Morpheus)

Neo: Morpheus!

(Neo kicks off the Smiths)

(Switch to control room)

(Trinity types in a password)

(Access Granted is shown)

(Neb)

Link: Still no sight of them. I don't know what they're doing, but they only got 2 minutes left.

(Control room)

(Trinity types is "Disable grid nodes 21-48")

(Trinity presses enter)

(The nodes, one by one, pop up and say "Grid Node X offline." X=number)

(On the overhead it warns of a power loss)

(Switch to city)

(Power goes out)

(Neb)

Link: One minute!

(Hallway)

(The Keymaker pulls out of a door and looks to another door)

(He walks to it)

(He opens it)

Woman: Ahh! What the hell are you doing in my bathroom?

Keymaker: Sorry. Wrong door.

(The Keymaker closes the door)

(Control room)

Trinity: Come on. Come on. Please.

(Hallway)

(The Keymaker put his key in the keyhole)

(Switch to building)

(Power goes out)

(Hallway)

(The Keymaker opens the door)

(Smiths look at the Keymaker)

(Neo kicks a Smith into the others)

Smiths 1-8: Kill him!

(All Smiths pull out their guns)

(Neo grabs Morpheus and flies him through the door)

(The Keymaker closes the door)

(The Keymaker gets shot)

(Neb)

Link: They're in.

(Control Room):

Link I don't believe it.

(Trinity sighs in relief)

(Building inside)

(The Keymaker turns around)

Keymaker: Damn.

(The Keymaker falls to the ground)

Keymaker: It was meant to be. Morpheus. That door will take you home.

(Keymaker points to a door)

(The Keymaker pulls off a key from his neck and gives it to Neo)

Keymaker: You'll know which door. Hurry, Neo.

(The Keymaker dies)

(Neb)

Link: Trinity, I've got some serious activity heading your way.

(Control room)

(Trinity leaves)

The Architect

(Inside building)

(Neo walks up to a door)

(Neo puts his key in)

(The door becomes made of light)

(Light engulfs Neo)

(Space is shown)

(The image turns off, like an old TV and is exposed as that)

(Neo is in a white room with two doors on opposite sides and lots of TVs with him on it)

Neo: I'm on TV! Hi Mom!

(The Architect is an overweight middle-aged man with a Dungeons and Dragons shirt on with mustard and ketchup stains on it. He has thick glasses and bad haircut)

(The Architect is sitting in a chair)

The Architect: Shut up! I am the Architect! I designed the Matrix. And although the transport process has altered your mind, you irrevocably remain human, ergo some my answers you will understand other you won't. Concurrently, even thought your first question is the most pertinent, you will see that it is also the most irrelevant.

Neo: Why don't you get contacts, get a better haircut, lose some weight, and get a real life where you accomplish something?

The Architect: I've accomplished something! I'm a level 42 Dragon-Master.

Neo: You can put that on your resume under 'crap'.

The Architect: Shut up! I am now going to do a long monologue explaining why you are here. I could just tell you what to do and then you just ask a few questions to figure out the rest, but this way, I get more camera time. Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the Matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which, despite my sincerest efforts, I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision.

(The Architect pulls out a bucket of KFC)

The Architect: Want some KFC? I made it myself.

Neo: No.

The Architect: Ok. While it remains a burden assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably... here.

Neo: You haven't answered my question.

The Architect: Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.

TV Neo's: Others? How many others? What others? Answer my question!

Architect: The Matrix is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the 6th version. The Matrix 6.0. Here, take a free trial disk.

(The Architect hand Neo a CD with the words "The Matrix Version 6.0 1500 free trial hours!" on it)

Neo: Thanks.

TV Neos: 5 `One's before me? 4 3 2 what are you talking about?

Neo: There are only two possible explanations, either no one told me, or no one knows.

The Architect: Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly is systemic - creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.

TV Neos: You can't control me! I'm gonna smash you to bits! I'll fuckin' kill you!

Neo: Choice. The problem is choice.

(Switch to Trinity)

(Trinity is waiting for an elevator)

(Agent Thompson steps out)

Agent Thompson: Oh hi, um...this is awkward. I guess we fight now.

(Trinity fights Agent Thompson see movie for details)

(Trinity is knocked down)

(Back to Neo)

The Architect: When the matrix was first built, it was a happy land. Nobody liked this and failure struck. Thus, I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. Again, I was struck by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another - an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the matrix, then she is definitely its mother.

Neo: I know! It's that clerk at the video store on Wells and Lake, she laughed at me the other day and said I would never get it.

The Architect: Let's go to the tape!

(The Architect presses a button and all the screens went to the other day at the video store)

Clerk: You'll never get it.

(Neo turns around)

Neo: Excuse me?

Clerk: Not you, the guy over there who always tries to steal a DVD of The Matrix Reinstalled with Funny Capabilities

Neo: (turns toward camera) Yes, that IS a good movie. The best in fact!

(Neo does a thumbs up and smiles)

(Back to Architect room)

The Architect: She wasn't even talking to you!

Neo: Oh. Um...how 'bout the Oracle then.

The Architect: Sure why not. As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99% of all test subjects accepted the program, as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo those that refused the program, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probability of disaster.

Neo: This is about Zion.

The Architect: The problem with the 1% was that they would unplug people who didn't need to be unplugged and would eventually overpower us. So we blew their asses up. This will be the 6th version of the matrix and the 6th time we've destroyed Zion. We've grown very proficient at doing it. You are probably wondering what you're supposed to do. You are here because Zion is about to be destroyed - its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existence eradicated.

Neo: Bullshit.

TV Neos: Bullshit!

The Architect: Denial is the most predictable of all human responses, but rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.

Neo: You already said that.

The Architect: I'm the Architect, damn it! You listen to me. Ok? Concurrently, you shut the hell up!

(Trinity)

(Fight continues, see movie for details)

(Neo)

The Architect: The function of the One is now to return to the Source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program. After which, you will be required to select from the Matrix 23 individuals - 16 female, 7 male - to rebuild Zion. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash, killing everyone connected to the Matrix, which, coupled with the extermination of Zion, will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race.

Neo: You can't do that. You need humans to survive.

The Architect: There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept.

Neo: You're writing a check that your, um...what's the equivalent of an ass on you machines?

The Architect: Fusion Output Power Overload System

Neo: Ok. You're writing a check that your Fusion Output Power Overload System can't cash.

The Architect: That's not important. However, the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility of the death of every human being on this world. It is interesting, reading your reactions. Your 5 predecessors were, by design, based on a similar predication - a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the One. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific - vis a vis love.

Neo: Trinity.

The Architect: Apropos, she entered the Matrix to save your life, at the cost of her own. You are blind. Blind to the truth that no matter what, she is going to die. You have two doors. The door on your right leads to the source and the salvation of Zion. The door on your left leads back to the matrix and her.

Neo: What about that other door?

The Architect: That leads upstairs. To my Mom's house.

Neo: You still live with your Mom?

(Neo starts laughing uncontrollably)

The Architect: No! Um...I'm short on cash. No! Um...I'm visiting. No! Um...she lives with me.

Architect's Mom: Francis, what are you doing down there? Are you getting hoped up??

The Architect: No mom, I'm just giving the One an ultimatum.

A's Mom: Don't do that! You'll go blind.

(The door opens and Architect's Mom enters)

A's Mom: Francis! Dinner's ready. Who's your friend?

The Architect: Mom, this is Neo, he's the current One.

A's Mom: Honestly, stop playing with your matrix and come eat.

(A's Mom turns to Neo)

A's Mom: Hi, I'm Francis's mother.

The Architect: Mom, I'd wish you called me "The Architect"

A's Mom: Fine, just come up for supper when you're done.

(A's Mom leaves)

Neo: Yeah Francis. I'm going back to the matrix now.

The Architect: Hey wait! No it's the door on the right.

Neo: Ok.

(Neo motions towards the right door)

Neo; Wait a minute!

The Architect: Fine, the other door was correct.

Neo: Before I go, where's your bathroom.

The Architect: I believe it is the door on the right. You know, the one that leads to the source.

Neo: How can it be the bathroom if it leads to the source?

The Architect: It can do other things! Why shouldn't it?

Neo: I'm going.

(Neo walks to the left door)

The Architect: Wait! You want to play Dungeons and Dragons? Or maybe Risk? Where ya going?

Neo: You better hope we don't meet again. Wait. One more thing. Why did you use such strange words and complex phrases?

The Architect: So people wouldn't understand and have to come see the movie again.

Neo: Good idea. Ever consider a career in marketing?

The Architect: No.

(Neo leaves)

The Architect: I'm so alone.

(The Architect turns on the TV's)

The Architect: Let's see who's showering in the matrix. Oh, oh yeah. All right!

Trinity's Death

(Neb)

(Link unplugs Morpheus)

Link: We have a serious situation, sir.

Morpheus: Oh no. Well, too bad, let's unplug her and go home.

Link: Sir?

Morpheus: Fine, we'll do this the legal way.

(Trinity)

(Fight continues you know where to look for details)

(Trinity gets thrown through a wall)

(Trinity runs out and jumps through a window)

(Agent Thompson follows)

(Trinity shoots at the agent)

(Agent Thompson shoots back)

(Neo)

(Neo flies out of the building which explodes)

(Neb)

Morpheus: What was that?

Link: I don't know, sir. But whatever it is, it's moving faster than anything I've ever seen)

(Neo flies through the city)

(Trinity)

(Trinity shoots at Agent Thompson)

Agent Thompson: Wait, I just wanna be friends!

(Neo)

(Neo breaks glass as he passes)

(Trinity)

(Agent Thompson shoots Trinity)

(Trinity falls)

(Neo catches her a few feet above the car)

(Neo flies up)

(Neb)

Link: Holy shit he caught her. Pay up, Morpheus.

Morpheus: Damn it!

(Morpheus gives Link 2 dollars)

(Neo)

(Neo lands on a rooftop)

Trinity: Neo, I had to.

Neo: I know. The bullet is still inside.

(Neo pulls out the bullet)

(Neb)

(Morpheus injects Trinity with a syrgyne)

(Link looks at Morpheus)

Morpheus: That's right I'm the ship's medic too. You got a problem with that?

(Neo)

Morpheus: Trinity, don't you quit on me now.

Trinity: I'm sorry.

(Trinity dies)

Neo: Trinity. Trinity, I know you can hear me. I'm not letting go. I can't. I love you too damn much.

(Neo resurrects Trinity)

(Trinity kisses Neo)

(Neb)

Morpheus: Not again!

(Morpheus gives Link 3 dollars)

Link: I can't take this.

Morpheus: Ok, then I'll just keep my money.

Link: That's not what I.

Morpheus: Too late!

Link: Damn it!

(Matrix)

Trinity: I guess that makes us even.

It's a Bomb

(Neb)

Morpheus: I don't understand it. Everything was done as it was supposed to be done. Once The One reaches the Source, the war should be over.

Neo: In 24 hours it will be.

Morpheus: What?

Neo: If we don't do something in 24 hours, Zion will be destroyed.

Link: What?

Trinity: How do you know that?

Neo: I was told it would happen.

Morpheus: By whom? Because if it was Lyin' Jim, don't believe anything he says.

Neo: I don't think it was Lyin' Jim. But, it doesn't matter. I believed him.

Morpheus: That's impossible, the prophecy tells us...

Neo: It was a lie, Morpheus. The prophecy was a lie. The One was never meant to end anything. It was all another system of control.

Morpheus: I don't believe that. I also don't believe that any of you can explain why there is a man tied up on our ship.

Link: How do you know about that, sir?

Morpheus: Well, when we get back to Zion, I was going to get one of the giant rats to sell to the trainers for the Free Mind Dog Track, and I saw this guy tied up there.

Link: No sir, that's just a really ugly rat.

Morpheus: Ok, but I still don't believe the prophecy is bullshit.

Neo: But you said it yourself - how can the prophecy be true if the war isn't over? I'm sorry. I know it isn't easy to hear, but I swear to you it's the truth.

Trinity: What are we gonna do?

Neo: I don't know.

(Sentinel warning siren rings)

Link: Oh no.

(A sentinel prepares a TOW bomb)

Link: What are they doing?

Trinity: They're just out of EMP range.

Neo: It's a bomb. We have to get out of here. Now.

(The sentinel releases the TOW bomb)

(Everybody runs out of the ship)

(TOW bomb continues)

(More running)

(The bomb turns then explodes on the ship)

Morpheus: I have dreamed a dream. Now that dream has gone from me. Ah well, at least all of the evidence was destroyed.

(A giant charred rat lands in front of Link)

Link: Well I'll be damned, they're really were giant rats up there.

(Tank emerges from some rubble)

Tank: Morpheus. I'm not dead from the explosion! Help Link tried to kill me!

Morpheus: Ahh! A real ghost!

(Morpheus shoots Tank with his electricity gun)

Neo: Morpheus, I think you killed him

(Morpheus looks and sees a hole near Tank)

(Morpheus pushes Tank into the hole)

(Morpheus leans into the hole)

Morpheus: Oh my God, he's gonna jump!

(Sentinels come in)

Link: Here they come.

(Everybody runs)

Link: Let's go, Morpheus!

Neo: We won't make it.

Trinity: We have to try. Come on.

Neo: Something's different.

Trinity: What?

Neo: I can feel them.

Morpheus: You sick perv!

Neo: Shut up! I can.

(Neo puts his hands up to stop the sentinels)

(Sentinels head for Neo)

(All drop down and explode)

(Neo faints)

Trinity: Neo!

Morpheus: Quick! Somebody find a stick to poke them with!

(The Hammer comes in)

Link: It's the Hammer!

Cliffhanger

Maggie: He's in some kind of coma, but his vitals are stable. What about you?

Trinity: I'm fine.

Maggie: You could use some rest.

Trinity: No, I'm gonna stay with him. If I want some rest, then I'll get rest. (Under breath) Dumbass.

(Switch to another room)

Roland: Lock was right. He guessed that the machines would cut off the mainlines in and out of Zion. He thought a counterattack might surprise them. It sounded good, we figured we had a shot, until someone screwed it up.

Mauser: An EMP was triggered before we could get in position.

Colt: 5 ships were instantly down.

Morpheus: For once, I really didn't do it.

Mauser: When the machines broke through, it wasn't a battle, it was a slaughter.

Link: Was it an accident, some sort of malfunction?

AK: No one knows.

Roland: Someone does.

Morpheus: Who?

Roland: Once the machines were done with us, they started digging again. We made a quick pass to look for survivors.

Link: You found one?

Roland: Only one.

(Camera shows Neo in his coma and then moves to show the other table Bane/Smith)

(On the screen the words "To be concluded." Are shown)

-To Be Concluded-

Credits Fun!

(You know what these are.)

-I am Agent Smith-

(After each Smith says something, it goes to another one in another location)

Agent Smith: I am Agent Smith.

Agent Smith: I am Agent Smith.

Agent Smith: I am Agent Smith.

Agent Smith: I am Agent Smith.

Agent Smith: I am Agent Smith.

Agent Smith: I am Agent Smith.

(All other Smiths look on in doubt)

Agent Smith: No, really, I am.

Voice: Worried that the you shopping online isn't really you? Get a MasterCard.

-Persephone's Answering Machine-

(During this all that is shown is an answering machine)

(The answering machine clicks on)

Persephone: Hello. You have reached Persephone. Please leave a brief message after the beep.

Voice: You have 5 new messages. Message 1.

(Beep)

Morpheus: Hey, Persephone, it's me. Morpheus, but I'm sure you knew that because you probably have caller ID. Anyway, I'm over the whole Neo thing, he's in a coma, so we're kinda even as long as he doesn't sue me. I can't really discuss that.

Voice: Message 2:

Morpheus: Hey, it's me, Morpheus, and I was just wondering if you'd like to go grabs some drinks later after I get done freeing minds for the day. We could go to Zire's or maybe Yazoos, your call.

Voice: Message 3:

Architect: Hello. I am the Architect. Although the phone transport has altered my mind, I, irrevocably remain program. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, others you won't. Oh, and I want to see some more naked photos of you. Concordantly, I've got to go! My Mom's home!

Voice: Message 4:

Morpheus: Hey, it's Morpheus again. I just wanted to tell you that I may or may not have put up naked photos of you when you kissed Neo, um...mostly may.

Voice Message 5:

Morpheus: Yeah, is Hugh Janus there? To find him all you have to do is go outside and yell Hugh Janus. Oh, and Persephone, this is Morpheus, we changed the time to 8.

-The Architect's True Colors-

(The Architect is sitting in his chair)

Architect: Hello, I am the Architect. I created the matrix. I also created two shells for myself. One shell, you've all seen ergo, I will only describe it. This is it. What I look like right down. Concurrently, I have another shell. Here it is.

(The Architect turns into what he looks like in Reloaded)

Architect: I only use this when I open a new KFC. Yes, not only did I create the matrix, but also I created other things. Vis a vis, KFC. I did not create the original recipe. I needed a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by perfection. If I am the father of KFC, then she is defiantly its mother. Thank you for your time. Remember, if you just sit on your ass, we can get more of your energy.

-Preview-

(Matt is sitting in the Architect's Chair)

Matt: Hello, I am Matt. I created the matrix..parody. While the transport process has altered your mind, you irrevocably remain human. Ergo, some of my jokes you will understand, others you won't. Concurrently, you have two choices. The door on your left leads to the preview of the exciting conclusion, The Matrix: Call Tech Support and the door on your right leads to -you know what- it's also going to lead to the preview. So yeah, you have to watch it. Enjoy!

(Rain falls heavily)

(Neo walks down a street)

(On each curbside, there are Agent Smiths)

(They fill up the sides)

(All except for a few are looking right at Neo)

(Others have beer dispensing helmets on, are facing backwards, have "I'm with stupid" T-Shirts on, one has think glasses, one's eating a sandwich, one's listening to music)

(An Agent Smith steps out of the crowd)

Agent Smith: Mr. Anderson, welcome back. We missed you.

Neo: Really?

Agent Smith: Yes, Mr. Anderson, one of me just kept asking when Neo was going to get here. Did you have fun with Bane?

Neo: No.

Agent Smith: Well, that's too bad. Do you like what I've done with the place?

Neo: Well, it's nice.

Agent Smith: But?

Neo: Well, everybody looks the same.

Agent Smith: So?

Neo: What about the gay people? They'll comment on how drab this place looks.

Agent Smith: You seem to know a lot about gay people, Mr. Anderson.

Neo: Well, this guy on the Neb was gay. He's dead now, though.

Agent Smith: Ok.

Neo: This ends tonight.

Agent Smith: Ok. I've already seen who going to win tonight so the rest of me is just going to sit back and watch.

Neo: How do you know that?

Agent Smith: I can see the future.

(Agent Smith drops a copy of The Matrix: Call Tech Support DVD)

Neo: That's cheating.

Agent Smith: Fine, ok, so it is. What are you going to do about it, Mr. Anderson?

(Back to Matt in the Architect's room)

(Matt is watching an episode of King of the Hill on one of the TVs)

(A stick pokes him)

Matt: Oh! So yeah, that's a clip from Call Tech Support. Look for it next year.

(Agent Smith busts through the door)

Agent Smith: Mr. Walljasper.

Matt: What?

Agent Smith: I've to take from you what you tried to take from me. Purpose.

(Agent Smith sticks his hand in Matt)

Matt: Not gonna happen.

(Matt expels Agent Smith's hand)

Agent Smith: How, Mr. Walljasper.

Matt: Well, I created the movie, so I am the real Architect. I can change anything. In this room, I'm in charge!

Agent Smith: Damn it.

Matt: Hey, it's ok. If you want to convert someone, I'll bring him in.

Agent Smith: Ok.

Matt: Hey, Jorge, get in here.

Jorge: Yeah?

Agent Smith: Him?

Matt: Yeah.

(Agent Smith converts Jorge)

Agent Smith: Smith will have profit sharing.

Jorge: Damn it Matt, I'm not letting you write this part for Tech Support.

(Jorge turns into Agent Smith)

(Both walk away)

Written and Directed by Matt Walljasper and Jorge Calderon

-Cast-

(In order of appearance)

Guard 1

Guard 2

Trinity

Voice

Agent Thompson

Neo

Morpheus

Link

Tank

Niobe

Captain 1

Captain 2

Ghost

Captain 3

The Terminator

Ballard

Agent Smith

Meeting Guard 1

Meeting Guard 2

Asian Guy 1

Asian Guy 2

Asian Guy 3

Agent Johnson

Agent Jackson

Superman

Controller

Gun Operator

Control Operator

Worker

Repair Guy

Captain Mifune

MP

Kid

Commander Lock

Hamann

Woman 1

Woman 2

Man 1

Man 2

Kid 1

Kid 2

Cas

Zee

Server

Random Guy

Matt

Neighbor

Bob

Bane

Rebel 1

Bane/Smith

Neighbor 2

Seraph

Man 3

The Oracle

Tin Man

Council Leader

Soren

Host

Merovingian

Spoon Kid

Persephone

Vampire

Larry Wachowski

Cain

Able

Keymaker

Andy Wachowski

Henchmen (5)

Cop 1

Cop 2

Motorist

Truck Driver 1

Truck Driver 2

Truck Driver 3

Zion Man

Zion Woman

Vector

Jax

Axel

Binary

Computer Room Technician

Computer Room Guard

The Architect

TV Neo's

Clerk

Architect's Mother

Maggie

Roland

Mauser

Colt

AK

-Special Segments Cast-

-I Am Agent Smith-

Agent Smith

-Persephone's Answering Machine-

Persephone

Morpheus

The Architect

-The Architect's True Colors-

The Architect

-Preview-

Matt

Neo

Agent Smith

Jorge