Michelle curled up into Steve's body, cuddling his chest as he kissed the top of her head. Smiles spread across their face as his fingers traced slow, soft circles on her bare back; her fingers doing the same.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Better than okay" she replied.

They caught each other's gaze before he planted a slow, sweet kiss to her lips.

"Are you sure really want this?," he asked, "I mean, you said you didn't want any more kids after Ryan. Remember the time you thought you were actually pregnant? You said that it wasn't a good thing."

"You're right, I don't… didn't want any more kids."

"But?"

"But you do."

Steve sat up slightly, pulling Michelle in closer to him. She rested on his chest and looked up to him.

"That doesn't make a difference."

"Yes it does. I mean, you were so happy when you thought I was pregnant. And look on your face afterwards, it almost killed me. It just-"

"Just what?"

"Nothing, never mind. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. Babe, come on, talk to me."

Michelle looked away from Steve. He gently turned her face towards him and looked into her eyes.

"Hey," he whispered, "talk to me."

"I just- I didn't want to say anything before, but I'm not sure if I ever wanted kids. I mean, as much as I hate saying it, Ryan was an accident. Obviously I love him with all my heart, but I never saw myself as the motherly type. I just- I'm not sure I can go through that again."

"Why didn't you tell me this when we were talking about this months ago?"

"Because I was afraid."

Michelle could feel the tear fall onto her cheek. She used her hands to wipe it away, and got out of bed, walking into their bathroom.

"Hey, what are you doing? What were you afraid of?" he asked, sympathetically.

She pulled her hair into a ponytail and stood over the sink trying not to cry. She muttered something under her breath that Steve couldn't manage to decipher.

"What?" he asked, tilting her head up towards him.

"That you'd leave me."

"Is that what you really think of me?" he asked, "that I'd leave you because you don't want any more children?"

Michelle looked ashamed, and she could see the hurt all over his face.

"I'm sorry, it's just-"

"Forget it. Not interested." He spoke, walking away into the bedroom, pulling on his pants and a t-shirt.

"Steve."

"What?" he asked, sternly. She knew she'd upset him. She assumed this would be the way he would react. She felt incredibly guilty for lying to him, but she just didn't know whether he could handle the truth; and she didn't know whether she could face it.,

He grabbed his keys from on top of the dresser.

"Where are you going?" she asked, following him.

"For a drive."

"Steve, please, just let me explain."

"Explain what? You lied to me. What else is there for me to know? I asked you whether you were okay with this and you said yes. " He walked out of their bedroom and down the stairs.

"Steve, please!" She yelled.

She pulled on her jeans and t-shirt from the floor, as she ran down the stairs after him.

"Steve, baby, please, just listen to me."

"Don't 'Steve, baby' me. Why weren't you just honest with me? Did you really think I'd leave you over that?"

"Do you blame me? The last time you weren't happy with our relationship, you had an affair. Do you really not expect me to have some doubts?"

Steve sighed.

Michelle took a hold of his face in her hands as she cried.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry," she whispered as their lips were inches away from each other. She tried to kiss him, but he pulled away.

"Later, okay?" he spoke.

Michelle nodded briefly. Before more tears fell to her cheeks. He hated seeing her cry, and he knew that he was being a bit of an asshole, but she should have told him the truth. Did she really distrust him that much? Did she not love him as much as he loved her? He made a mistake with Becky. But Michelle? She was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He looked into her eyes as he wiped the tears away with his fingers.

"I promise, we'll talk about it later, babe," he spoke, softly.

He cupped her face in her hands, and gently caressed her cheek with his thumb.

"Please drive carefully, baby. Don't do anything stupid."

He didn't want to kiss her, because he was still angry. But, he knew that if he didn't, she' worry about him. She'd start thinking that he doesn't love her anymore, and after all they'd been through, he didn't want those thoughts in her head.

He placed a quick, but loving kiss to her lips, just enough to reassure her.

"Just let me clear my head, okay. And then I'll promise we'll talk."

She nodded, biting her lip. He slowly let go of her face, and took her hand. He squeezed it, before heading out the door. He was just about to cross the threshold, when he turned back to look at her. He could see she was about to burst into tears.

"Michelle?"

Michelle looked up from the ground and caught his gaze.

"I love you. Please don't forget that." He said as he grabbed his coat and left through the back door.

Michelle slowly collapsed to the ground, with her knees against her chest. She sat by the wall, just crying.


"He left, said he was going for a drive, I haven't spoken to him since." Michelle explained, as her fingers traced around the ring of the coffee cup.

"Did he say anything else?" Carla asked, placing her cup on the table.

"That he loved me, and I shouldn't forget it."

Michelle looked towards Carla. She knew what Carla was thinking, without even having to ask

"You're wondering if he's going to do something stupid." Michelle said.

"I wasn't wondering, but I was thinking about the possibility. I mean, it's Steve. He sometimes does very dramatic things."

"You don't think he'd kill himself…"

"The thought did cross my mind, but no. I don't think he would. He loves you too much. And the pain that grief leaves behind is unlike any other. He wouldn't do that to you."

"I hope you're right. I'm just so worried about him."

"Chelle, you need to relax."

"But what if he has a crash in his car, or what if he gets lost in somewhere unknown, or what if he-" Carla took a hold of Michelle's arms gently, to comfort her.

"Michelle! Breathe."

Michelle took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled.

"You're over thinking this… a lot. Just calm yourself down."

Michelle sighed.

"You're right. It's ridiculous."

"There you go. See, isn't that better?"

"What on earth would I do without you?"

"You'd be a wreck," Carla replied, "now come on, tell me about the good part of your afternoon… say, what you and Steve got up to before your big fight?"

"Well… I wouldn't exactly call it a fight. A little argument, more like... and our afternoon was pretty intense."

"And?"

"And amazing, okay."

"Come on Chelle. I'm your best friend. I need to know the details…." Carla whined, like a teenager. Michelle laughed. You had to love Carla. She was every girl's 'wing woman', and she was trustworthy. If you had a secret, you could bet that Carla could keep it.

"Fireworks. Lots of fireworks."

"That good?" Carla asked, surprised.

"Better than good." Michelle blushed, "probably the best we have had in a while."

"Did you…?"

"No…"

"Michelle!"

"What? Does it really matter? It's not like it's a one night stand, Carla. I love him."

"Woah, hold on, missus. You've just given this entire speech about how you're not okay with having any more kids, and you've gotten into this argument with him over this, and you're telling me that you didn't even use protection?"

Carla held her head in her hands. She loved them both, but sometimes they got so lost in the moment (as she had witnessed several times) that they would just forget...

Michelle looked awfully guilty. She placed her cup of coffee on the table and looked at Carla.

"You need to sort this out with him," Carla spoke.

"But what if he never comes back?" she asked.

"He will. He'd be an idiot not to."

"But he can be an idiot. What if he's decided he's had enough and he just packs his bags and leaves me?"

"Worst case scenario," Carla stated, "you're over thinking this again. He's going to walk through that door any second now, and you're going to talk about it."

"I hope you're right."

The back door opened and they could hear the keys being thrown on the counter. Steve took off his shoes and coat and stood in the doorway with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Michelle looked towards him.

"Speak of the devil. I told you he'd come back."

Michelle smiled lightly at Steve, to which he reciprocated.

"I'm going to go home. You have a lot to talk about." Carla spoke as she grabbed her bag off the sofa. Carla slipped something from her bag into Michelle's hands, as she lent down towards her ear, so Steve couldn't hear. "Listen, promise me, no sex without protection, right?"

Michelle slightly rolled her eyes as Carla walked away. Carla gently rested her hand on Steve's arm.

"Hey, Carla?"

"Yep?"

Michelle smiled at her. "Thanks."

"You're very welcome."

Steve smiled at Carla as she walked away.

Steve stood in the doorway looking at Michelle. She didn't know what to say to him. She thought he would have wanted to pack his bags and run away.

"You didn't think I was going to come back?" he asked, as she walked towards her. He sat down on the sofa next to her.

"I didn't know. I thought maybe you'd want to flee the country."

Steve laughed, He caught a glimpse of the holdall from the corner of his eye.

"What's that for?" he asked.

"Just in case, I uh, if you wanted me to leave. You know… if you didn't want to share a bed with a liar…"

Steve looked at Michelle and he felt overwhelmed with guilt. He remembered her saying exactly the same thing to him when she found out that he knew about Tina and Peter.

"Well, when we're finished here you're unpacking that."

"You don't want me to leave?"

"Why would I want you to leave? That's ridiculous. You live here."

"That's the only reason?"

"And because you're my girlfriend, and I'm insanely in love with you."

Michelle smiled. How could she have been so stupid to not tell him the truth? She shifted herself so she was sitting crossed-legged on the sofa, Steve getting comfortable, taking her hands in his. He brought one hand to his lips and kissed it.

"I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. I was an ass."

"No. I'm the one who should be apologising, Steve. I should have told you the truth."

"Can I just ask one question?"

"I think you're entitled to ask me anything at this point. But go on…"

"Do you honestly distrust me that much that you couldn't tell me?"

"Steve-"

"No, I need to know."

Michelle stood up and paced around the room, covering her face with her hands. She thought this would be so much easier to explain.

"No, I don't. I mean, I have my doubts. Sometimes when you're out, I'll wonder who you're with and what you're doing. I'll convince myself, yeah, he's just out with the lads, no biggie. But then this thought creeps into my mind: what if he's lying to you? What if he's seeing someone else? Is he cheating on you, but just keeping it very well hidden this time?"

Steve sighed.

He stopped her from pacing when he stood opposite her.

"Michelle, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. What I did with Becky… it was a mistake. One big, awful mistake. I was a coward, and I couldn't tell you the truth. I thought that if I did, then it would just make it worse. So I let it continue as it did. Lying was just easier than admitting it."

Michelle looked at Steve. This was the most honest they had ever been to each other.

"I'm sorry, for you know… doubting you."

"Don't be. I get where you're coming from. If you had done to me what I did to you, I wouldn't blame you for not trusting me."

"No, Steve, I do trust you. It's them I don't trust. I mean, any girl can manipulate a man into sleeping with her if he's drunk enough. I mean, that's how you and Becky got together."

"True."

He slipped his arms around her waist.

"But it's not going to happen, ever again. What I did to you back then, it was worse than awful. But I will beg, and plead, and I will do whatever I can to prove to you that they mean nothing to me. Nothing could ever happen with them, and nothing will. It's you that I love. I'm in love with you," he paused, leading them both back over to the sofa, "I'm so sorry if I ever put doubts in your mind."

She kissed him, and he reciprocated.

"I am, incredibly sorry Steve-"

"You don't have to-"

"Yes, I do. Please just hear me out?"

Steve kept quiet as he let Michelle speak.

"I did lie to you, and I feel awful, but I thought I was doing what was best. After I had Ryan, everything got incredibly complicated, and when I moved here, I wanted a fresh start. And I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm so happy, and content. And I know how desperately you want more children. I can see it every time someone mentions the word 'baby' or 'kids'. And the look on your face – it made me so sad to see you like that, so I said yes. Not to put you out of your misery, but because I thought that if I didn't then you would leave me and find someone else who actually wanted children, and wasn't afraid to give them to you."

"You really thought that to me, having more children was that important?"

Michelle nodded. "You just- you want more children, so much."

"Yeah, I do," Steve said as he looked into her eyes, "but I want you more."

"Really?"

"Really. I mean, am I a little disappointed? Yes. But that doesn't matter. Because I've got the most beautiful in the world sleeping next to me every night."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

Michelle took his face in her hands and kissed him.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Michelle asked.

"Of course."

Michelle smiled. "Can I ask you something now? It's a bit odd." she said.

"Anything. The weirder, the better." Steve smiled.

"I know that you want more children, but why with me? I mean, why you haven't or even if you have, why didn't you consider sperm donation or something. That's a perfectly viable way to have children too you know."

"Because it wouldn't be real."

"What?" Michelle asked, confused.

"What I mean is, it wouldn't really feel like my child. I mean, yes they'd genetically be mine, but that's not how I thought about it. I want children with you because I love you, and if I feel as if I ever was to have another child, then it should be something we both want, as a product of our love. Let's face it, I could go and get hammered and knock up the first woman I saw, but it wouldn't be the same. The child wouldn't be made with love, because it wouldn't be half yours."

Michelle felt her heart beating erratically. My god, did she love him. Sometimes he had this tendency to use a poor choice of words, but others? He was practically a poet. They gazed into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity.

"Are we okay?" she asked.

"Better than okay."

"And you're not angry with me?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"Promise?"

Steve laughed. "Promise."

"And are you okay with going back to using protection when we…"

"Of course I am."

"And you're sure it won't affect…"

"Michelle, whether we use protection or not, making love to you will always be amazing, because it's you."

She got off of the sofa and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. She used her arms to guide him forward so she could kiss him, slowly.

"I really am sorry, you know that don't you?" she asked.

"I know. I am too."

"Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" she asked, raising her eyebrows, a smirk forming on her face.

"Well, there is one thing…"

It was as if she read his mind, as before he even had a chance to tell her what it was, he found himself being pushed back onto the sofa, his shirt being pulled off his head, and his lips melting into her loving kisses.