It's hard being famous. Especially when you've committed a sin in the viewer's eyes. I, Jonah Wizard, has changed genders. Shocking right, well not to me. My followers don't understand. All these hateful comments just make me hate myself. But my boyfriend helps me through it all and so do my friends, if I didn't have them, I don't know what I would have done with myself.
I mean, my life was hard enough being a star, but now. Changing genders? It's scared me, but I went through with it. Tonight Ham and I are going out for our five year anniversary. I've heard through Ian, that he's going to propose to me. It was hard enough coming out, but marriage! Way harder in my opinion. But I know that my true followers, family, and friends will be by my side always! Well, now time for dinner! I place on some black flats, a black dress with silver sparkles, pearl earrings, red lipsticks, and place my hair into a fancy bun. I walk to my driveway where Ham is waiting for me. We start driving, but out the side of my eye and the side mirror, I see a driver fumbling around and driving very close to us. I warn Ham, so he drives to the side. The woman drives to each side bumping other cars, the ones in front of us. It stops, and then the drunk driver bumps hard into the back of my car. I'm sitting in the back seat, and watch as all the objects fly in the car, including my purse. I see in front of me, what I never wanted to see. Ham hitting his head on the dashboard and steering wheel. The airbags in front of him puff up and he hits them too, then I see blood emitting through his head and ears, seeing the gash on the back of his head, I automatically feel sick. Maybe it's just because the car is spinning out of control, or maybe it's because my boyfriend is being brutally hurt. I start crying, ruining my mascara, and see it and Ham's blood seeps into the seat of the car. His blood also seeps into his tuxedo and the airbag, the last thing I hear and see is Ham turned around looking at me with his face caked in his own blood and covered with horrible cuts and bruises and hear him saying, "I love you, Jonah."
BOOM.
It was hard to believe and accept that my one true love was gone. I'm still not over it, and I never will get him back. I've gained more followers in pity and sympathy. See how cruel people can be one day, as soon as something happens to their interest, they come back to you. Crying I step out of the shower and sit down on our bed now mine. I remember how every night he would hold my hand and we would fall asleep with our fingers intertwined, no more of that. Even though he was rough and calloused, he had a soft and gentle touch. I still cry myself to sleep though it's been months. The doctors said I was lucky to survive the crash, I heard that the car blew up and ignited flames due to the gasoline. The driver, as soon as she recovered, was placed in jail for drunk driving. It's weird how you take everything for granted, but as soon as your gone you feel like you've done something horrible. I feel like Ham would say that it's okay, everyone does it. But, he's not here and it's all my fault. Nobody to stop me from feeling this way. I plop down all the way and let my body drown in the pillow and mattress and push me back up. I place my hands in front of my face in a playful and childish manner, spreading my fingers to see all of the bruises and peeled skin. I have gotten badly hurt from that incident and it hurts to move that night. Sometimes I remember the accident and it hurts to feel all the pain and hurt I had to endure again. I've gained a bad case of anorexia and PTSD. I've turned Bi-Polar for some reason and I have gained a lot of weight and feeling in my stomach. Well, I guess I still have to go over to Chase's. She's made me a dress for Ham's funeral that's in two weeks.
I step into my car and drive over to her house. It's normal sized yet super pretty and grand in its own way. I ring the doorbell and watch as she peeps out of the blinds. She unlocks the door and lets me in giving a grand hug. Suddenly her eyes widen and she steps away. "What's wrong?" I ask as curiosity gets the best of me. She hurriedly says "Nothing. Nothing. I just forgot something.". I nod and walk upstairs to her room and doubles over in pain as my stomach starts to hurt. She rushes into her dressmaking and sewing room. She pulls out this black dress that has a black ribbon around the middle and lace at the bottom, the neckline, and sleeves that end at the crease in my arm. She pulls out a pair of black satin gloves and a dark veil. I thank her profusely then entail her about my problems. She nods the waits until after the rant to ask, "Has it occurred to you that, you may be pregnant?" That's what her eyes widened about at the door, I facepalm then tell her I haven't. She tells me to wait a moment and walks into her bathroom and comes back holding a pregnancy test. I ask her as she plans to be single until she's 24, she hurries me into the restroom without an answer. I follow the directions and wait for five minutes without looking, after those five minutes pass, I look down at the test and horror dawns on me. I see two red lines in front of me and suddenly start to feel lightheaded. I'm pregnant and the baby doesn't have a father. I yell and Chase suddenly rushes to the door. I open it and start to cry my heart out onto her black shirt, dusted with gold air spray at the edges. I sob, "I'm PREGNANT, Chase! Pregnant!" She pats my back awkwardly, in the position we're in it's hard to pat my back. She then moves her hand up and strokes my hair gently, I remember that Ham used to do that and sob some more. She continues to stroke until I let out my last sob, and stop crying silently. She removes her hand and tells me that it's okay and that we all will support me. I sadly smile and let her make me something sweet since I eating for two, she allows me to live in her house since someone needs to afford my cravings. At first, I refuse saying that it would be too much. "No, honey. That wouldn't do, you need help with a child. You're a single mother, I can help you." she argues softly. I agree on the second attempt as I let her talk me into it. She tells me that she has five extra rooms. The baby can have one as their bedroom, another as the play and changing room, and one can be her bedroom. She smiles at me and I sadly smile back. She tells me when to take maternity leave at my job, I smile and take in the information.
The next week at work, I walk into the office and into my cubicle. As soon as I sit down, I paraded with balloons. Someone, Chase, had told them about my pregnancy. Last week, I found out that I would be having twin girls, the balloons were pink, and they also brought me a vanilla cake decorated with fondant cradles and pink icing spelling out 'It's a girl!'. Of course at least one person in the office hates you, and that person was Patterson. He's sneaky and doesn't agree with my life decisions since I didn't date him. To be honest, I really freaking hated this guy and still continue to. He slid over and through everyone, "Oi. What's this I hear about the slut being pregnant?" My ears start to water as this pregnancy has made me really sensitive. The employees gang up around him, ready to throw punches in my honor. I see Martha in the corner of my eye mouthing, "I'll let you punch him, I'll distract him for you." To that, I giggled and Patterson heard. "What you laughin' at whore?! Nobody likes you. This," he points all around, "is because we feel sorry for you, which I don't. Screw you, Jonah!" I start to cry and Martha picks me up from my chair and punches him and while he's dazed, she allows me to punch him too. He holds his cheek and nose and spits on me, then walks away. I can hear him being ganged up on by some of the employees hear, they must really like me. I smile and let Sasha wipe the spit off of my shirt. She then pulls out a cupcake and puts a bit of the forsting on my nose playfully. We all laugh, and I take the frosting off and eat it. That day, instead of working, we partied.
