9:31 AM.
Everyone is still in Ms. Sera's classroom, watching George Bush's speech from the news.
At this point, we're all sobbing out eyes out because of everything that had happened in less than 2 hours. Plane 1 hit the north tower, then there was a plane 2 on the south one about 15 minutes later...we just couldn't take it. Even Ms. Sera is crying.
I never thought, in a million years, that the state that I live in, the city that I live in, heck, even the United States, would experience a serious terrorist attack. All schools everywhere in the states have been closed and everyone has been sent home, but of course we have to stay here because we're close to the attack.
Why can't we go home? I'm sure our parents want to know if we're okay, and I'm sure we all want to know if our parents are okay. I know that I do...
"You okay, baby?" Ally whispers, rubbing my back. I shake my head and continue playing with her fingers. "You can still cry, you know, no one's gonna judge you," she whispers. I shrug and look up at her. "I don't feel like it anymore," I whisper back. She just sighs as I go back to twiddling with her fingers. She knows it's a nervous habit, but it's not like she can help it...and neither can I.
Truth is, I'm not even holding in any tears anymore. I mean, I know there's a lot more to come but right now, I have a distraction and that distraction is Ally's fingers. I'll do whatever it takes to get my mind off of the situation right now, and if this is it then so be it. She understands.
The speech is about to finish, in about maybe, 10 minutes? I hope it does, honestly. Hearing the president talk about something as heartbreaking as this is really tough for all of us. Seriously, we all have our heads down or we're looking away. It's obvious we don't wanna hear about it. Mr. President, can you please just shut up already?!
I sigh and stop twiddling with her fingers for a moment to lay my head on her shoulder. "I'm tired," I mumble. "Then close your eyes and try to think of something happy." Ally softly grabs my hand and gently rubs it with her thumb. I don't respond, I just do as she says.
I wake to the sound of a long, loud noise, followed with loud screams emitting from outside. They're so loud that it's not even hard to hear. What the hell is happening?!
I stand up from my seat and open the blinds, not caring about Ms. Sera's instructions of not to, and I gasp. I can feel everyone else in the classroom stand up and run over to where I am and they all gasp, also.
Tears brim in my eyes as my I start hyperventilating.
The south tower is collapsing. It can't be, I don't want it to be, I don't—I can't...if the south tower is collapsing then the north tower might, too. I can't let that happen. I can't. I need to do something.
I bite my bottom lip as I turn around and push through the crowed of students, gasping for air as I walk to the teacher's desk.
"Ms. Sera, can't we do something?!" I yell at her, and before she can even respond, I continue. "We need to do something, if the south tower is collapsing then the north tower might, too, and I don't want my family to be dead! Hell, they might already be dead. I just need to get out of here, I need to do something—" "AUSTIN, I know it's hard to stay enclosed in a school when many are put in danger, but it's only for you and everybody else's safety. My family lives very close to the World Trade Center and as much as I would love to call them to see if they're okay, I can't because I have to keep you all safe. Keep your girlfriend and all of your classmates as safe as you can because let's be honest, every one of our families are too far for our help, so we have to help who's close to us right now. Do you understand me?" She yells back.
My breath gets caught in my throat and I nod, knowing she's right. She just nods and sighs, leaning back in her chair as I walk back to the window and grab Ally and pull her into my arms.
I can feel hot liquid on my shoulder and I know she's crying. I sigh, tightly hugging her and biting my bottom lip so hard that I swear I can taste blood. But I don't care right now, it's getting way too much for anyone in this room to handle.
I glance up to the clock and see that it's only 9:52. So much has happened since 8:45...
Why do we have to deal with this, out of all states? We're Manhatten, the biggest city in New York. I thought that nobody would mess with the big apple; the city that never sleeps. We were supposed to be a lot less inferior than this! Why the hell would anybody try to mess with us?! They think they're so fucking great as to—
I'm brought back to reality by Ally sniffling and releasing from the hug, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. My face twists in concern as I gently wipe off the remaining tears with my thumb. She just sighs shakily before leaning back into me. I shake my head, rubbing her back and shutting my eyes forcibly, hoping no tears would come out.
Didn't work.
I just let my tears fall down my face and onto her hair, not even caring anymore. I'm probably wrong. The terrorists probably did hijack another plane, and they probably did crash into some other place. I'm just being a selfish wimp, aren't I?
But my family...
I wish my dad didn't work at all today. I wish no one who works at the North Tower went to work today. I feel bad for everyone who works there, and their families. I feel sorry for myself...wow. This is the first time in my life that I've ever felt sorry for myself.
"Babe, I'm gonna call my mom and see if she's okay, and if my dad and brother are okay, too.." I whisper into her ear. She sniffs and releases from the hug, nodding. I reach into my back pocket and grab my phone. I flip it open and take a deep breath.
Once I've dialed my mom's number, I shakily bring my phone up to my ear and shut my eyes tightly, praying that she'll pick up.
Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring...
Oh come on!
Ring...Ring...We're sorry, we cannot-
I shut the phone and grunt, running a hand through my hair. "She didn't answer," I say and sigh. Ally takes my hand into hers and rubs it for a few seconds before taking her phone out of her pocket and dialing, I'm assuming, her mom. I force the tears back as she puts the phone up to her ear and waits for a response.
A few moments later, she smiles.
"Hey, mom! Yeah, I'm okay," she says. I look down at the floor and let a tear slip from my eye. "Well, he just called his mom and she didn't answer, so I think we should keep that as plan B..." She gives me a worried glance. "Yeah he's fine...uhm yeah, here," she hands the phone to me and I take it hesitantly, putting it up to my ear.
"Hello?" I say. "Hi, Austin! You're okay, right?" "Yes, Mrs. Dawson, I'm fine. I just don't know if my family is yet...I hope so," I say and look up at Ally for a quick second as she responds. "Well, I'm glad you are and yes, I hope you're family is alright, too. Ally and I were just talking about how, if your family happens to not make it, you can stay with us. Is that okay?" She asks. I reluctantly cough before answering. "Uh, yeah...I just don't really wanna think about what would happen if they're not okay. Right now, I'm just praying that they are," I force a smile to make it sound as if I'm not bothered by everything, even though I know she knows that I am...
I should stop being confusing.
"I understand. The Aviation Administration just banned all flights from boarding so I believe there will be no other tragedy," she says, enthusiastically. "The south tower just collapsed and you're saying there's not gonna be any other tragedy? What about the north tower?! Is that one gonna fall down, too?!" I freak out and she shushes me over the phone. I sigh. "I'm sorry," I apologize. "It's okay."
I take Ally's hand and squeeze it tightly.
"Listen, Austin. It's going to be fine. No one has concluded if anyone is injured or killed yet and I don't want you to torture yourself with worry that they might not be okay when you don't even know. Please just try to keep your calm and send many prayers to your family. Who knows; maybe God will listen. Call me if anything is wrong, okay? My work is getting off early anyway so if you need to come home with us then you can, but don't lose hope. Alright?"
Closing my eyes tightly and stifling the tears that are threatening to spill, I respond.
"Thank you."
"Anytime, Austin." And with that, she hangs up. I huff, taking the phone from my ear and flipping it close. Tears continue to brim in my eyes, but I don't let them fall. I have to hope and pray that my family and everyone else in those buildings and on the planes are okay. I can't break now. I just can't.
I glanced at the clock on the wall and discovered that it was 9:56. Sigh. It's been such a long morning. All I want to do is settle down with my family, in a blanket, watching an old movie.
But I can't.
"Hey, you okay?" Ally whispers, rubbing my arm. I look up to her and nod. "I'm just worried. I don't know how to stop worrying. My family is in danger and that's not even it. Ally...there's freaking terrorists out there. Who knows, maybe they're targeting schools and airports and restaurants and just regular houses-" "AUSTIN, stop stressing. They're probably gonna hunt down the terrorists and arrest them anyway. They won't be a threat in a week, I promise," she reassures.
"Ugh! I just need a break. Maybe that will help me recuperate enough to make it through the rest of the day." I run my fingers through my hair out of frustration. "Yeah, maybe you do. Come here," she says, putting her arms out for a hug. I fall into her arms, almost dramatically.
This is so frustrating.
"Attention all students and faculty: we will be continuing our regular school day. Head to your fourth periods and we will inform you if anything else happens. Thank you."
The overhead says, and I sigh in relief. My fourth period is with Ally, and it has no windows facing the World Trade Center. I guess all I have to say for that is hallelujah!
"Well, at least we're together," Ally says as we walk through the halls. "Yeah, but my legs are still shaking." "I can't blame you," she mutters as we walk into our fourth period classroom. It was music class, and probably my most favorite class of all time. But I feel like I won't be 'in it' today, considering what happened. Oh the glory.
Mr. Thompson, the music teacher, was over near the trombones. He was polishing them, as if he hadn't already cleaned them yesterday before school ended, and we left. I know him well enough; he cleans everything once it's been used. He has a 6th period band class...have I said enough? I sure hope so.
"Hi, Mr. Thompson," I clear my throat to catch his attention. He turns around to face me and smiles genuinely, somehow making me feel small. "Hi, Austin. You ready for class today?" I nod. "And you?" He looks to Ally beside me and she nods, also. "Alright, good." He walks over to his desk, just as more students pile in.
"So..." Ally starts, grabbing my attention. "You ready to get your mind off of it for the rest of the day?" I glare at her. "It already was, but then you had to bring it up again." She looks appalled. "Sorry," she responds with a slightly sarcastic tone of voice, and mien. I breathe in sharply, releasing my hand from hers.
It's going to be a long day.
The bell rings and everyone gets seated. Mr. Thompson erases everything off of the board and turns to us exasperatedly.
"Okay, guys. I hope we're all in for continuing to learn about the history of music. Are we?" He asks. Nobody responds, surprisingly. "Ok, well...I've decided that we're going to take a small break from the lesson and watch a movie. You guys pick," he holds up two DVD's, "Lady and The Tramp or 101 Dalmatians?"
A jumble of responses come from everyone in the room, excluding me. I was mad, for some reason. Maybe it was that little outburst I had with Ally, or I'm just mad at the terrorists. Either way, I'm too angry to respond. I really don't care what movie we watch, either. I love them both.
"Ok! Ok! Raise your hand for Lady and The Tramp," he pauses and waits as some students raise their hands. He counts how many before saying, "Ok, put your hands down. Now raise your hands if you want 101 Dalmatians." Everyone else in the room raises their hands, except me, and he counts them as well. "Ok, Lady and The Tramp it is! Mr. Moon, why didn't you raise your hand?" He asks me.
Everyone turns my direction and I shrink in my seat. "I don't know," I mumble whilst mildly shrugging my shoulders. Once everyone looks away, I let out my breath. Why is all this pressure being put on me today?
He goes to put the tape in and I twiddle with my fingers. The suspension of not knowing if my family is or okay or not is killing me. I'm worried..and I don't think there's any way around it.
The beginning credits of the movie start playing as Mr. Thompson walks over to the light switch and flips it off.
"Okay class, I want you to be quiet as the movie plays and if not, we will continue the lesson. Understood?" He announces and we all give some sort of confirmation. "Good." And with that, he walks back to his desk.
I take my phone out of my pocket, clicking one of the side buttons to illuminate the screen. Fortunately, it wasn't a bright light, so it didn't disturb anybody. Boy, would that be a nightmare.
10:03.
Sigh. Hopefully nothing else bad will happen. I honestly don't think I can handle any more.
A very long and loud sound drowns out the movie on the screen, causing my heart to start palpitating. That's not the North tower, right? It can't be. I refuse to believe that it is.
Everyone in the room starts talking all at once, agitating Mr. Thompson even more than he already was. He turns off the TV before turning to us and yelling, "Settle down! Settle down!" but we could barely hear him because of the thunderous reverberation.
"Attention all students, staff, interns, and faculty: the North tower has collapsed and debris is heading our way. No one is allowed to exit the building until we're informed that it's safe to do so." The overhead can be heard, about 2 minutes later.
I just let my tears fall. I don't even hide it. My family is dead. I just know it. It would be a miracle if they made it out alive. But I've lost all hope for that. There's no way in hell they could've made it out.
Chances are...I'm an orphan.
My thoughts are interrupted as I notice somebody sitting next to me. I recognize Ally, and look to my lap without a word. I'm not mad at her anymore, I'm just drained. I stressed over this all morning, only to conclude what I was thinking in the first place:
My family is dead.
"Babe, you okay?" She asks, taking my hand. I decide to be ingenuous and shake my head. "I'm tired." I rest my head on her shoulder. "You can come home with me today, alright?" She whispers. "I wish I had more friends. I wish I had my family.." I say in lieu of an answer. I hear her sigh, rubbing the top of my hand with her thumb.
"I just don't want you to go home alone when there's a possibility of terrorists being on the streets right now," she says, and I scoff. "I hope they all got killed on the planes," I mutter with gritted teeth. "So do I. But you haven't answered my question," she says, rather calmly. "Yes. I'll go home with you if we're ever allowed out of this stinking building." I grunt. "It'll happen," she chuckles.
Oh Ally...always trying to look on the bright side.
"Alls..." I whisper a few moments later. "Yes?" She whispers back. "...Why did this have to happen? I still have 2 years until I'll be in college; I need my parents to help me through the rest of high school. I need my little brother to remind me of when I was younger, and when I was free-spirited and didn't have to worry about school all the time. I need my family to keep me grounded. What's going to happen if they don't make it?"
I start sobbing, not caring if anyone stares. "Babe...just hope for the best and I'm sure it'll all be fine." She rubs my back. I solely stuff my head into the crook of her neck and continue sobbing.
I hope those terrorists go to hell.
"Shh...it's okay," Ally consoles.
The lights suddenly turn on, making me peek at Mr. Thompson, who's changing the channel on the TV to the local news station. It's like second period all over again. Is this day ever going to end?!
"The streets are buzzing with pedestrians who don't know what to do or where to go. I don't blame them. Can you, John?" The news reporter asks his co-reporter. "Yea, I can. It's such a scary thing, you know? Having our own city being-"
I tune it out, again. This is all way too much for me to handle. If Ally wasn't embracing me right now, I would very well have a panic attack. I just don't understand why anyone would have the heart to kill, or attempt to kill. Why? ...Just why?
