As soon as the cephalopods from the underworld made their presence known on Earth, Underfist swung into action.

"Alright, Underfist!" Jeff said. "I know we just finished with the candy monsters, but it looks like our work is just beginning! Let's take down these squids and keep that Burgersnatch guy from destroying the sun with his disgusting magic!"

"Wait, did this pick up where the last movie left off?" Irwin asked. Jeff nodded. "Oh no! I'm not used to continuity, yo!"

"Don't be such a baby, Earnest!" Hoss said. "We've got evil to fight!"

Hoss leapt towards the armies marching out of the hole in the ground and begin taking them apart with his chainsaw hand. When he realized his chainsaw wasn't getting the job done fast enough, he switched to an energy weapon and began firing wily-nily, tearing burnt holes into his opponents.

"Who wants some calamari?" Hoss asked. "Trick question! It's me!"

Hoss continued to fight. While he took down cephalopod soldiers in close combat, Irwin used his vampire powers to unfurl a pair of bat wings and soar high into the sky. He then proceeded to unleash his mummy powers and rain papyrus wrappings onto the squids. The wrappings caught on the octopuses' tentacles and bound them tightly together, keeping them from moving–or, more importantly, conquering.

"All right!" Irwin said happily after he dispatched a bunch of squid soldiers. "I'm on fire, yo!" He sniffed the air. "Hey, is something burning?"

It was at that moment that Irwin realized his vampiric powers came with a severe downside.

"AAAAHHH!" Irwin screamed. "MY WINGS ARE ON FIRE, YO!"

Irwin flapped around frantically, but wasn't able to put out the fire. To make matters worse, when he flew over the Washington Monument, he hooked the waistband of his pants on the top of the obelisk. Irwin continued to try and fly forward, but eventually the elastic took control and yanked him back to the monument. Irwin slammed into the Washington Monument rear-first and then slowly slid down until his weight and the elastic in his pants reached equilibrium.

"Ow..." Irwin whimpered. "Monster wedgie, yo."

While Irwin hung helpless and humiliated from the Washington Monument, Fred Fredburger was at the other end of the reflecting pool. He was surrounded by an entranced crowd of cephalopods.

"I like shows, about animals!" he told them. "Sometimes, I like shows about animals who live in San Francisco, and sometimes, I like shows about animals who go to school and have friends made of clouds and ice cream, and sometimes, sometimes I like shows about superheroes."

"Those are reboots!" Skarr called to him. Skarr was busy swordfighting the squids. Fred Fredburger ignored him.

"Oh, and my mom, she says I'm real smart!" Fred said. "She says I can spell my name real good! Wanna, wanna hear me spell my name?"

The squids cheered.

"F. R. E. D. F. R. E. D. B. U. R. Uh..." Fred said. "Uh...uh...uh...uh..."

While Fred tried to remember the eighth letter of his last name (it's G, by the way), Jeff was busy skittering around the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Jeff apologized to every name he stepped on. As he darted around, he fired webbing from his rear, wrapping up soldiers as they pursued him. He kept fighting even as the squids closed in on him.

"Geez, now I understand that Charlie Sheen movie," Jeff muttered to himself. He continued to fight until suddenly the leader of the squids, Grouchy Burgersnatch, stormed past. Every single fighter halted as the commander headed for the Lincoln Memorial.

"What is the meaning of this?" Grouchy demanded as he confronted Fred.

"Uh...G!" Fred said. "E. R. Fred Fredburger! Yes."

Grouchy Burgersnatch looked completely confused until Hoss leapt at him from behind and sawed straight through him.

"Ahh! Uncle!" the squid clinging to his scepter screamed. The squid jumped off the scepter and skidded away. The rest of the forces looked confused until Hoss turned and leered at them with a gigantic, psychotic grin.

"Back to the home front!" the sanest of the cephalopods declared. The remainder of the army followed his lead and fled into the hole that led to the underworld, chased by Hoss, Skarr, and Jeff. As soon as the last of the cephalopods entered the hole, Jeff aimed and fired a stream of webbing into its entrance, sealing it up tightly.

"There, that ought to hold it," Jeff said.

"I always did hate seafood," Skarr said.

"I have some seafood!" Fred announced. He opened his mouth. "See? Food!"

Hoss and Skarr groaned. Behind them, the elastic on Irwin's pants finally gave out, and he fell to the ground with a huge thud.