A/N: SUPER MEGA AWESOME! Thanks for the reviews, favs, and alerts! I was going to answer all of them but I didn't make time for the internet this week… So fail on me. But you're reviews made my crappy week awesome so I'm posting this chapter up now… Mainly cause tomorrow is going to be the worst day of my life, I KID YOU NOT, since I'm doing two things I hate on the planet, spending time with my mum and going to a museum. Hoping to get reviews to put a smile on my face though, don't let me down peeps.

I'm planning updating every Tuesdays and Thursdays night/Fridays morning/afternoon (depends when I wake up), but only if I have enough chapters to do so since I'm already on mid 5 lol sorry…

I hope this chapter is okay, I wrote half of it in a horrible mood and the rest watching some odd horrible horror movie.

ENJOY THOUGH!


It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last

~30 Seconds To Mars

I expected Quinn to just ignore me the whole day, but she surprised me by coming over and talking about the movie we are going to see this weekend. People look at us like we were the cutest couple; well that's what I heard a few weeks ago from some freshman's. I frown though, she doesn't notice.

"Quinn, I gotta go to the office." I lie to her, I look at her to see if she caught it and she does, nodding saying her goodbyes and link arms with Mercedes and Kurt. I roll my eyes as Kurt looks me over, probably knowing Quinn and I broke up and she probably told him I am into guys too.

I turn away to the main office, just in case one of them is watching me, I am not paranoid, but I can see Quinn and the others following me for some form of gossip. I see Mrs. Pillsbury sitting there just fixing her desk to be perfect, I kind of understand what she is going through. I have a bit OCD when it comes to stuff like eating in even numbers, my video games are in ABC order, making sure my inventory in games are prefect, how my Pokémon are in level order and in type order... Okay, stopping now since I sound like a nerd. The guidance counselor looks up, smiling when she sees me and motions me to come in. I could just walk away, you know? Pretend I was looking at her cause she's a weirdo, but I go in instead.

"Hello Sam." She smiles sweetly. I would have to say Mrs. Pillsbury is one of the cutest one of school staff. I mean, well... Just look at her! "What can I do for you?"

Sitting down, I take a shaky breath. It's now or never. She's willing to listen and I want someone, who is outside of my family, to know who I really am, who I can come over to talk to, to share my ideas to help other Transgender kids, and some other stuff like porn... Maybe not porn with a school staff member... "Um, yeah?" I run my hands over my chest, a bit of a nervous habit I got before surgery that stuck with me. "I... I have really no one else to talk." I shake my bleach blonde hair, "I mean, I do! I just want someone outside of the family to talk to." she nods in understanding, which makes me sigh in relief. "It's kind of hard to say though." I mutter, biting my lips.

"Just take your time." She smiles out, friendly.

I take a deep breath, "I'm..." Transgender! "I... Ugh..." I let my head fall.

"How about I start?" She asks sweetly in her soft tone. "How are things going with Quinn and you?"

"We broke up on Friday." I inform her, frowning at why I wanted to break things up. "It wasn't like a bad break up, we're still friends."

"Why did you guys break up then?"

"I couldn't be honest with her." I meet her wide blue eyes, which is a bit weird when you don't know her but seeing her a lot I realize she just look like that and that just adds moe* points to the max. "Not that I was like cheating! I felt odd not being able to tell her things in fear she would hate me, plus I don't think we are good for each other." Mrs. Pillsbury tells me to go on. "I'm... Bisexual." Okay, not what I wanted to say but whatever. Bisexuals still get heat from the homophobes, maybe not as much, I wouldn't know since only people I really dated were females, even though I like guys more...

"Well, you still like girls, Sam, and I believe she wouldn't have hated you because of that. She's friends with Kurt." She points out, which makes me feel a bit better, since knowing she does like a member of the LGBTQ community, but sexuality is way different from being Trans.

I shake my head. "Well, it's different for me. My mom left me because of what I am. To her, I'm a freak."

She doesn't say anything else, wanting me to continue about my mother but I don't. I avoid eye contact and just stare at my shoes. Which I realize I should get new ones and maybe a new pair of pants, I wonder if Quinn would want to go shopping with me. She'll probably convince me to get some skinny jeans since the last time we went out she told me she really-

"You feel alone and different." She says, causing me to jump out of my thoughts and look up at the red head lady. "Because you have no one to talk to like yourself?" I nod but for a totally different reason. I do have Trans friends but they live so far away, it's not the same to talk to someone who understands you, or is similar to you, who is miles away. Sometimes, I just want more human interaction and maybe a hug or two. "Would you talk to Kurt? I know he's not bi, but he is part of your community."

"I guess..." I shrug. Really, Kurt kind of seems mean. Always talking about who has horrible outfit on, hair style and some other gay stuff I do not understand.

"I think that would be a great idea." She clasps her hands in excitement. "For whatever your Glee assignment is you should go to Kurt to partner up with him." I almost wanted to tell her that was a bad idea since I kind of wanted to be under the radar of getting a slushy facial, but she's right. I need someone who understands to be different. Even though Kurt would have no idea how different we are. "Sam, thank you for sharing your feelings and I'm always here to talk to, so don't be afraid."

I nod thanks, feeling horrible about myself. She smiles though so I give a shy one back in hopes she cannot read my emotions. As she passes me a note to excuse my lateness, I rush out of there. I don't even feel like going to math right now.


Instead of sitting next to Quinn, since I took the seat beside her when dating plus she's now between Kurt and Mercedes, I sit next to Kurt. Only because every seat was taken and I had to spend a few minutes in the bathroom making sure I look presentable to everyone so they can't see I'm having a rough time within myself.

So, I smile at the gay boy. He smiles back, but of a flirty one. Well, as flirty he can look since Kurt is more cute than flirty, in my opinion at least. He has that total twink, uke*, innocent look going on.

Anyways! What am I saying?

Quinn had to have said something. I look over to her, seeing her give me a thumbs up as if to say to go for it. I will totally get her back.

"So, I was right." Kurt says, as Mr. Shue goes about our weekly assignment.

"About?" I play along, smirking.

"That you're not straight and you bleach your hair." He chuckles, "So why deny you're gay?"

"Cause I don't care what's in a person's pants to like them? Plus, I am new. I want to be somewhat normal." I shrug, rolling my eyes a bit. "But now you know, my plans are foiled! Quinn just told you?" I give a dramatic sigh, which earns me a giggle. Oh Kurt, really? Giggles? Total uke. Man, I need to stop watching anime...

"She let it slip when we were shopping, scooping out cute guys."

Damn it Quinn, even if it was an accident, I'm still getting her back!

Mr. Shue tells us we can to go into pairs if we wanted to; I look over at the slightly shorter boy and silently ask him to partner up. He nods his approval.

"So, what are we doing?" I ask with a nervous laugh, running my hands through my hair. "It's your entire fault I wasn't paying attention."

"My fault?" He laughs, "You could have just stopped talking." He looks over to Quinn and Mercedes asking them what we had to do. "We're singing a song about our feelings." Mr. Shue and Mrs. Pillsbury totally talked today about this. Well, at least she's helping. "Know a song?"

"Kidding, off the top of my head? I have the Girlfriend song stuck right now." I joke, somewhat…

"You do not seem the type to like Avril Lavigne." His eyebrow goes up.

"I'm full of surprises, baby." Okay, seriously Sam? Baby? Who the hell you think you are? Kurt smiles though. "You can come over though? Or I can go over... Whatever you want." I shrug.

He just smiles, cutely.


The moment we walked into my house, my father rushes over like I got shot or something. I guess since I usually tell him when I'll be home, and I forgot since Kurt was telling me possibilities of sings I never heard of. My father pulls that worry face off when he sees Kurt and I holding McDonald's, I don't like them that much but Lima doesn't have a Burger King and I was craving a burger. I clear my throat. "Dad, this is Kurt."

He gives Kurt a look through. Narrowing his eyes a bit and taking in Kurt's figure. If living with me gave my father gaydar, then he totally has it because every boy I brought home, even before I knew I was Trans, was gay and he knew right away they were. Plus, now he knows I'm bi... Oh man, God! Please do not have him say-

"Are you Sam's boyfriend?"

I choke, violently like I was gonna die. Kurt's eyes widen in shock. "Dad!" I hiss, "Not every gay kid is my boyfriend!"

"Could have fooled me." He mutters, walking back to the couch.

Shaking my head, and giving Kurt an I-am-sorry look, I pull him up the stairs telling my dad that we are going to do some work. He shouts back to behave. I die a bit more.

Once my door is closed, Kurt laughs falling on my bed, which is messy and I totally forgot i have Pokémon bed sheets, as I take a seat in front of my laptop. "So, your dad knows?"

"Yeah, he's cool with it. Though, when I brought my first girlfriend he was a bit shock." Shit, I did not mean girlfriend!

"Girlfriend? Why?" Kurt frown, probably confused why any father would be disappointed or shock for a boy to bring a girl home. If I was in his shoes, I know I will.

"Well, my first girlfriend was in the middle if getting a sex change, male to female." I chuckle nervously, thanking god that I did not have to make up a long lie. "Her name is Ash." I smile remember one of my best friends. "She told me after a few weeks of dating she was actually a girl so we just ended up being a weird straight couple." Weird since I was the ftm and she the mtf, but still boy and girl to everyone else in the normal way. I have no idea; it was confusing to think like everyone else. "I always brought home guys but never really dated them." I shrug, "So I never had a boyfriend. But then Ash and I broke up since well, we dated for like a year and we wanted a break, we were like young so dating was like nothing to us. At the LGBT center, tons of dudes would flock to her and I was always jealous." Mainly cause she was able to get her sex change first... "But I grew out of it."

"Interesting." He hums.

"Yeah, well. I'm huge on the whole helping Transgender people now." I seriously felt a little bit of weight lift off my shoulder. "I try to help pay for surgery for help, like giving spare change or help set up events to raise money and stuff."

"That's really nice of you." He praises, sitting up in my bed. He smiles at me which warms my heart up like it's going to burst. "I wish I can help them." I perk up. If Kurt wants to help transgender kids maybe he can help me, even though talking is probably not that good. "I feel bad for all those gay teens that get kicked out of home." My spirits die out, he means the gays... Not Trans.

"Trans kid get it worst though." I mutter bitterly looking for a sign that Kurt actually doesn't like Trans people. I know from experience that some gays don't like transsexuals, for stupid reasons too like the fact we don't have a penis. Sex crazed guys they must be, and it's always the cute ones too. Damn it.*

Kurt nods though, "Oh I know! I just mean... Well, if you help the trans kids I can help the gays. So, we can be a team!" Stumbles a bit, probably feeling that I was a bit angry.

That... Makes no sense. But I smile and nod; I'm a nice person who takes crap from everyone anyways.


When Kurt goes home, my whole body just feels drain. I started to like him, wanting to come out of this stealth* mode, but I was just confused. Kurt seems to me like those gay guys I have met, who only like bio males and shuns the Transguys for no good reason. If so... I don't want to get hurt anymore, it was horrible the first few times. But at the same time, he is totally into me. I knew this the first time we spoke and now... It's so clear.

I spent the last few hours just feeling sick to my stomach.

Damn you, fast food!


Don't forget to review! Tell me what's a bit unclear, grammar, and stuff... Just don't give me criticism that is harsh, I write this for fun and to vent...

Next chapter has some "fanservice" I guess…

Notes:

Moe: I heard it on Lucky Star (an anime) and I think it means cute, not sure… But Emma is moe fo sho

Uke: In yaoi (anime gay porn) it's the receiver of sex, the bottom; usually they are cute.

Gays disliking/not dating Trans: This has happen to me. Some guys I started to like wouldn't date me since I was not "technology male" since I don't have a penis, true story. This has happen to me about three times. I mean, I can totally buy one in the size they like, but noooo. Also, my father says they are confused, the same with bisexuals.

Stealth: I'm not sure what it really is since I don't bother in correcting people anymore, but to my understanding it's when a TG seems either ashamed in their background and/or wants to forget they were ever born the wrong gender. I could be wrong though.

BTW is anyone reading these note? Cause I will stop them if no one does…