That next night was spent in the town along the Rio Grande. It was purely the image pictured when asked to conceive a western city. Complete with saloons, clothing stores, and inns. They considered themselves lucky to come across it. Especially for Sarah, she wasn't sure if she could stand another night around a campfire with the rest of those bastards.
Every time the gang came across a city, the night played out the same. The men would find themselves in the Saloon trying to get as wasted as possible, enjoying the life of gambling and playing the "my horse is bigger than your horse" games. Often times Freddie would find himself trying to squeeze information out of the bartender and discuss his next destination. All the while Sam, Eli, and Miguel enjoyed a drunken card game with the fellow men.
While it would have seen completely normal of her behavior to join them, Maria preferred to walk with Sarah through the late night hours around the town. The men were usually too preoccupied with cheating their next hand to pay attention to her anyways. So that night it was the two girls wandering the dark streets of the town. It was pretty deserted for such a late hour, they only passed a couple men and woman on the streets. They figured that most of the towns inhabitants were either in the saloon or too scared for their lives to come out.
The night was the same as they always were. Cool wispy winds tickling the sensitive sunburn skin of hers. The darkness was almost blinding. As they always had been. In a sense things felt like they were forever unchanged in the western life. Sure you never knew where you'd end up or if you'd live to see what came next a few years down the line, but there was an odd comfort in it. Knowing that the cool nights were always something to look forward to during the day. That and the sound of jingling spurs as boots touch the dirt road with each step into that seemingly endless night.
Sarah walked alongside Maria as they made their way down the street. Every so often one would stop, point to the sign on the building next to them and have something to say about it. In a way their personalities meshed well. Most of the time Maria would do the talking, and Sarah would be left listening or commenting. Sarah was always considered the southern belle, with pale skin and wavy dark Auburn hair. Her eyes had a depth in their darkness, a deep Chestnut brown. Maria was blessed with a dark olive tan. Her hair was a dark wavy black with eyes tinted hazel. In the dark, no one could tell either of their colors,
"So last night, eh? How was it?" Sarah was caught off guard, quickly shaking her head after coming to the realization that someone was speaking to her. She had been deep in thought, and assumed that Maria would be too entranced in her own conversation with herself to catch that she was drifting,
"Oh." She shrugged. Her voice was that of low annoyance, "Nothing special." Her southern slang was stronger than normal. It was not as if she expected any new moves on his part, but how often he had requested her company seemed to make her think and wonder,
"Come on. Did you enjoy yourself?"
"I don't know if enjoyed is the right word." Maria peered at her from the side of her eye as if she suspected her lies. She inhaled deeply, shifting her gaze back to the air in front of her,
"So what's the deal with you and Miguel? Are you two together or what?"
"Excuse me?" She protested, "You're the second fool who's asked that same darned question. What I'd like to know is where does everyone get these big ideas!"
"The way he looks at you, sweetheart. It ain't no secret."
"The only reason he even bothers with me is 'cause I don't make an effort to screw him."
"Think what you'd like. He hasn't touched me in a little over a month." She lifted her chin to the air, closing her eyes as if to enhance her suspicion of their relationship. To which Sarah just rolled her dark eyes letting them fall to the dusty trail below her.
Unknown to her, Maria now stared at her with a cocked head, smirking at her with frowning brows. It seemed to bother her how detached Sarah always seemed. How bored she seemed to be with life, it bored herself just looking at her,
"You've gotta live a little, Sarah. Let a man touch you."
"I do."
"And enjoy it."
"It's not a lady's purpose to enjoy…" She was silenced by Maria's laughter. Her eyelids quickly thinned at the rude gesture,
"You're saying that we senioritas ain't aloud a bit of fun?" She hastily lifted a hand to her friend's chest, only holding on for a moment before she realized what had happened,
"Maria!"
A sudden forced movement pressed Sarah to the hard brick wall of the building. She felt a soft pressure against her hip, gracefully slipping to her thigh, then between her legs. The sensation she felt was not though the touch, but a frightened electricity that surged through her mind,
"What are you doing?" She yelled in distress forcing her body off of hers, "This ain't right!" Holding her chest was her gut reaction to the situation, as if it somehow were to protect her against anything.
"It's more right that we go farther with Men we don't trust?" She followed after the violated Sarah,
"I trust 'em."
"Come on. I wouldn't trust any of those bastards ever."
It didn't take long for her to regain her composure. Being felt up was not something new to her, it happened to her nearly every day by multiple men. A women was forced to get used to it. It only came as a shock that the next one to touch her was a woman herself. But she was not easily bothered for long.
From the distance the two made out two figures. One larger than the other, the larger of the two seemed to be dragging the smaller alone. Once they appeared closer in range it was revealed to be a mother with a son. Even from that distance they could hear the screaming and the scolding's with punishments being spoken. The obvious mother grabbed him by his collar, and with one swift movement slapped him across the face,
"If you ever wander off again at this hour, I swear by the lord Jesus I'll wring your…" The two women stopped in front of them. Unsure of what to do, they took a moment to awkwardly look at each other, then back to the mother, "I'm so sorry, ladies."
She apologized. Probably more for the fact that she had been caught. Having been clearly embarrassed, she shooed the child into the building next to them. Once they were out of hearing range, Sarah smiled and laughed. She began to walk,
"What is so funny?" A questionable smile appeared on her lips as she raced ahead to catch up to her,
"I remember when I used to get into troubles of the sort with my Ma and Pa. They truly would wring my neck, or use the belt." Her laughter came to a close, but a weak smile remained, "Sometimes I miss the town I came from, it allowed for so much adventure." From the corner of her eye, she saw Maria's head drop to the ground. Her voice also quieted with a certain vein twist,
"I do not." Sarah cocked her head to her left,
"Why not?" A silence continued as she refused to respond. She turned her head back around, also dropping her gaze to the ground below, "You know after all these years I still do not believe I know where you came from."
Silence continued. Maria did not like the idea of discussing her roots. She believed it was in her past and that's where it belonged, not to be thought of in the present time. Her head bobbed as she spoke,
"It ain't something I'm proud of."
"We all have our dark secrets, Maria."
She blinked twice as her eyes remained glued on the dirt path in front of her. A corner came soon and when she lifted her face she observed the tall black light post. She swallowed deeply before reaching out to hold the solid metal cold. It chilled her hand, but she found the strength to twirl around it. She did her best to keep her voice as normal as possible as she began,
"I was the oldest of 8 children to my Padre, the oldest of 3 to my Madre. We lived on the border of Meh hi co and the Rio Grande. Padre was a merchant and illegally sold goods above the border and took me with him most every time. I picked up most of my English from listening to him birder."
By that time the two had made their way well over to the railroad that cut through town. To keep her spirits up, she jumped up to the tracks and began to balance herself like a bird on a beam as she walked down the line. All the while Sarah stood beside her, carefully making sure she would not fall,
"One could say my life was not horrible, but they would be a fool." The word "fool" came off harsher than implied due to her cracking voice. She paused for a moment before continuing, "When I started to mature he started touching me, calling me a whore. When he'd go out drinking I'd be the one who had to take care of my hermanos and hermanas."
"You see, Madre had passed away from childbirth with little Abel. It wrecked him and well…I don't know what happened. My other relatives from Padre came from other prostitutes. I was never too fond of them. It made leaving that much easier."
"The night Padre had gone too far. He brought a gun home." Another pause, but no sobs were heard. Only her eyes squeezed shut, " I don't know exactly what happened, just a lot of shooting. I was only sixteen years old, and it was the most scared I'd been in my short life. So I left. I left and I never looked back." She opened her eyes. A longing stare was shifted to her right as a weak smile formed on her lips, " From time to time I wonder if little Abel is still fine. Still alive. If I could go back and save him. I would leave this life in a heartbeat."
That last sentence came as a shock to her. Maria seemed to have her life figured out. The attention provided to her by the men in the gang seemed like her wish come true. For an attention seeker, what more could you ask for? But apparently there was more to her. A nurturing tendency, she wasn't just a whore. And for a moment, Maria's strength amazed her and renewed respect for her.
"From there I had no where to turn but a church. It was a place in a town called Dulce Dom. I had heard about it from around as a nice place for the lost and forgotten. I had even remembered passing through it on one of Padre's business trips. Their church was perfect. A priest there by the name of Javier offered such guidance… I was inspired. But it was no use, I couldn't become a Nun. Look at me." She held her hands up to herself in disgust, "Do you ever think I could have such commitment?" She sighed. It was nothing like her to be so serious. What had happened to the bubbly and unintelligent Maria? Could it be possible that it was all an act? "Within a week or two I had my first commission as the town's whore. It wasn't long until I had to leave, and I came to…"
"Chuparosa, I remember seeing you with Eli."
"Si. I told him I had no where else to turn, and it seemed as though he actually… cared."
"Eli's a sweetheart." She smiled. He had been one of the few who showed all members of the gang respect and genuine kindness. As for Sam and Freddie, it was only temporary and anything but sincere, " I think we best be getting back to the saloon, I worry that our boys have started some trouble."
A woman's instinct never fails. That and the common sense collected from having observed some issues every time they've entered a card game. The men had a way of having their fun with cheating, what man didn't? But the thing was that Eli particularly had a habit of being less subtle and getting caught. The two entered the bar through the swinging doors to which they proceeded to lean against the counter and observe the card game between the men.
"I saw it! I saws it! You lying cheat!" The elder man threw his card to the table in a fit of rage. An accusing finger was pointing at the calm and collected Eli, who still sat staring at his cards.
"Calm yourself, friend, I ain't cheatin nothing." He lifted his eyes to glare up at the angered man,
"You think I didn't seen that card you slipped from under your sleeve!"
"I don't know what you're talking about, old man!"
"Oh really?"
As if it were some manly instinct to begin a threat, both men quickly reached for their guns and pointed it at one another. It set off a chain reaction, with the friend's of the elder man and the members of Freddie's gang all pointing at one another. It was probably the largest number of men she's seen in this kind of predicament. She sighed, why must this happen every time,
"You don't want to shoot that gun, Partner." Eli forced from his teeth as he continued to glare at the man,
"He's right." Sarah agreed. It stunned her how quickly all the men seemed to turn their attention to her. Still, she kept her cool as she cocked her silver gun to the head of the elder man, " How about we all put our guns down and get back to a peaceful game of poker and the evils of the drink." A moment of tension built as he thought over the situation. He let out a sudden burst of laughter at her words,
"Alright, Alright." He agreed still laughing, and as if to comply, the men holstered their guns.
"Thank god for Sarah." She cocked an eyebrow after hearing the words. Her mouth formed the word what before seeing Miguel. Their eyes met, and with a smile he winked at her. She smiled back and gave a gently nod in his direction.
A sudden wave of fatigue overcame her the moment she turned to walk away. She stumbled a bit, holding her fingertips to her forehead. It was late, and she hadn't slept much the night before due to long hours with Freddie. Sighing, she stumbled over to the counter top. If she didn't know any better the bartender might think she was drunk. The man directed his gaze over to her,
"Can I help you, darlin?"
"Yes." A yawn escaped her lips, "Any rooms available?" She leaned over the counter, accepting the key with a weak hand.
The walk up the wooden stairs was painfully long and dreadful. She hadn't remembered a time before this involving her being so tired. It was the second door, right around the corner. It turned out the door hadn't even been locked. Questioning the purpose of the key, she cocked an eyebrow at the hand that held the brass metal.
Decoration wise, the room was very bland and boring. Quite empty in fact. Besides a cot in the far corner and a wooden stool located randomly in the middle of the room, it was a bare space built of wooden walls. How comforting the thin cot looked after long nights sleeping on the ground. It felt amazing it felt as she sat on the edge. She began taking off her boots and belt when she saw the cracked door begin to open. On instinct, she grabbed for her gun and cocked it at the door,
"Woah woah, put that away." The Spanish voice sounded in annoyance. Sarah smiled in relief,
"You surprised me."
"My apologies." He smiled at her. It was the smile he always shone to her at an attempt to woo her. She kiddingly rolled her eyes as she continued to take off her clothing,
"What are you doing here?"
He hadn't heard her, his attention had already been directed to the fact that she began to unzip her dress. The clothes now lay limp on the floor, only her underwear was on as she proceeded to rest on her bed. He hadn't responded yet. She sat up, her back against the wall,
"It must be a sin to be that beautiful." He almost spoke to himself. She laughed out loud. It was rich in sarcasm and was more of a single cackle,
"I best be getting some sleep… tell me what it is you have to say as you can mosey on out of here, sweetheart."
"You're giving me thoughts so… I'm going to hell." He sighed turning around, and then back to her. He covered his mouth laughing at if own pathetic self,
"Is that all." She was beginning to get annoyed,
"No, I mean… why are you up here anyways?"
"As opposed to?"
"You might enjoy yourself downstairs with the rest of us."
"I'm really tired, Miguel. Please let me sleep." His expression turned to disappointment,
"Fine."
He stood in disappointment at his failure. Each step he took was slower than the last as he tried to leave, causing a creaking noise below him. It wasn't fast enough for Sarah, why couldn't he move faster? His walking came to a stop once he reached the door,
"There was something I wanted to talk to you about, Sarah." Sarah? He never used her name. It was usually some pathetic nickname he would make up to annoy or seduce her,
"Well what is it?"
The way he spoke was unfamiliar to her. Usually it was louder and more prevalent, laced with confidence. Now he spoke so softly. It seemed as though he were taking something seriously for once. She had to listen. His head was turned to the side, his body still faced the door,
"You've been distracting me lately." Was that honestly it? She distracted everyone as far as she knew. She was a woman. He continued, "I don't know how to say it." Words couldn't describe how out of character he was acting. He turned around, speeding back to the bed, "Sarah, I can't describe it. Every time I see you I can't talk right. I find myself staring at you for no reason. I'm up here again cause I'm shitting insane. You've made me that way." He had crouched down to the level of the cot, staring into her eyes. He lifted a hand to her cheek, " I think I care about you more than any other woman."
She stared blankly into his eyes as he gazed back. There was so much hope in his. The same could not be said for hers. Instead it was apathy. She lifted his hand off of her, turning in her bed to lay down facing the opposite direction,
"I'm tired, Miguel." It was all she had to say. All she had to say for him to feel nothing but hurt as he stormed out of the room. He slammed the door behind him in defeat. She jumped.
