So i decided that i would make a second chapter, i'll be adding more later. Like before, slightly OOC but just for reasons I couldn't resist. This one is a little longer, not as good as last chapter in my opinion, but i guess the same. Enjoy!
Alice's POV
"Edward, try to pry yourself off of Bella so we can get to Spanish!" It was the last class of the day, and Edward and I had Spanish. But he seemed too involved in Bella to notice that the bell was going to ring soon.
"Yeah Edward, I think you should listen to – wait, what's your name?" I turned around to see Newton talking to him. Obviously, he was trying to get Edward and Bella away, but for a different reason than I was.
"Be back later," Edward whispered to Bella. "I'll miss you…" Bella murmured back. I rolled my eyes.
"PDA is disgusting guys, get off of each other!" I yelled. "Yeah! Get off!" I saw that that Mike kid was trying to encourage them with me. He seemed to think he looked cool, but he really just looked like a retard. I grabbed the back of Edward's shirt and pulled him along to class.
Mrs. Goff (A/N I don't know if that's the right name or anything, but lets just say in my story it is. bear with me here) was droning on about how to string a sentence together when a piece of paper was put in the place in front of my seat.
Can we go hunting this weekend?
I rolled my eyes at him.
Edward, did you really pass me a note to talk about that?
Well, no, but I have had to live through learning this damned language at least 8 times – I can't stand having to sit through this.
Right… so, are you still the 100 year old virgin?
Shut up Alice.
Just like the movie, except you are WAY older. And now you have found a girl you love more than anyone in the world, and you still won't get it on with her!
Alice, if you don't stop now you won't wake up in the morning.
I'm not going to sleep tonight though! Have you forgotten why? Wow… Jasper is going to be with me though… just like you will be with Bella, except you aren't going to be doing anything close to the same thing as we are…
ALICE. IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR ARMS AND LEGS FOR ETERNITY.
Nice comeback Eddie. -rolls eyes-
Don't call me Eddie.
Fine. EDWARD. Hey, do you see that Mrs. Goff's got lipstick on her eyebrow? And that mole on her arm just keeps getting bigger every day…
Yes, I've noticed. Same with the hair on it. Has it grown longer?
Probably. And she doesn't even bother to conceal it from us all; she is tainting our minds with this. –shudders-
When you put something in those lines (A/N I don't know what those things are called so…) you don't actually DO it.
Ha, DO it… ha.
ALICE.
Sorry. So what are we hunting tonight? Which poor little creature's blood do ya wanna get a hold of now?
Don't forget you are going to be doing the same.
I didn't forget. El Queso Grande wants grizzly though.
El Queso Grande? The big cheese? Where do you come up with these things, Alice? And who is that anyway?
Emmett, of course.
You just keep telling yourself that.
I will. Because I –
My eyes glazed over and went into 'vision mode'. (A/N yeah, don't ask. I didn't have any other way to put it. Anyways, carry on.) I saw the teacher coming towards our desk and snatching the note from my hands. I went back to the real world to realize a second too late that she was already at my desk, replaying the vision right in front of me.
"Alice, Edward, do you have something to share with the class?" Mrs. Goff asked.
"Damn you Alice," I heard Edward say under his breath to me.
"Um, no Mrs. Goff." I said as calmly as I could. "Well it looks to me like you've already written out the speech for us here, so would you like to read it? Or should I get someone else to?"
"If you don't mind, I would prefer it if you would let us—"
Edward was cut off my Mrs. Goff. "Oh Edward, actually, I DO mind! So I think I'm going to get someone else to read this. I think I'll have… Jessica read this. Please come to the front, Jessica, and read this to the class. And please don't skip any part of this."
"Well, um, okay…" Jessica hesitated and took the note. "Can we go hunting this weekend?" she said in a monotone voice. Her eyes widened as she realized what she just read but they quickly returned to normal size after she read the next line. "Edward, did you pass me a note to talk about that? Well, no, but I had to live through learning this damned language at least 8 times – I can't stand having to sit through this." Everyone was looking at Edward like he was mentally retarded, which, by the sound of the note, they probably thought he was. I turned to him and he looked like he wanted to say something but obviously couldn't.
"Right… so are you still the 100 year old virgin? Shut up Alice." I didn't need to look to the future to know that Jessica was mentally preparing to tell everyone about this. Mrs. Goff turned a strange shade of red – or purple, it was hard to tell – as she heard that last statement. Everyone looked very confused.
"Just like the movie, except you are WAY older. And now you have found a girl you love more than anyone in the world, and you still won't get it on with her!" Jessica paused as she looked around the room. The class looked at Edward as if they were expecting something from him, which they probably were.
"It's um… an… inside joke." He mumbled while he stared at his hands. We all turned away and looked to the front of the room at Jessica. She cleared her throat and started back up with her eyebrows raised.
"Alice if you don't stop now you won't wake up in the morning. I'm not going to sleep tonight though! Have you forgotten why? Jasper is going to be with me though… just like you will be with Bella, except you aren't going to be doing anything close to the same thing as we are…" Half of the students looked amused while the other half looked disgusted, probably realizing that on the outside it looked like incest.
Jessica's voice was shaking as she continued on. "ALICE. IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR ARMS AND LEGS FOR ETERNITY. Nice comeback Eddie. -rolls eyes-" A few students rolled their eyes themselves at this statement.
"Don't call me Eddie. Fine. EDWARD. Hey, do you see that Mrs. Goff's got lipstick on her eyebrow? And that mole on her arm just keeps getting bigger every day…" Everyone started laughing, some students even fell out of their chairs. I looked at Mrs. Goff and she was a bright red while she slapped her hand over her arm in attempt to stop the laughter. Unfortunately, she hit her arm a little too fast and ended up hurting herself. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" This just caused the students to laugh harder. Once everyone finally regained control, Jessica continued on.
"Yes, I've noticed. Same with the hair on it. Has it grown longer? Probably. And she doesn't even bother to conceal it from us all; she is tainting our minds with this. –shudders—"
This caused another round of laughter. By now Mrs. Goff was desperately pulling her sleeve down in a failed attempt to hide it.
"When you put something in those lines you don't actually DO it. Ha, DO it… ha. ALICE." A few giggles escaped from people's mouths, including mine. I looked at Edward, who had his chin in his hand. He glared at me.
"Sorry. So what are we hunting tonight? Which poor little creature's blood do ya wanna get a hold of now? Don't forget you are going to be doing the same." Everyone turned to scowl at us.
"I didn't forget. El Queso Grande wants grizzly though. El Queso Grande? The big cheese? Where do you come up with these things, Alice? And who is that anyway?" Now the teacher laughed lightly. We all turned to look at her with curiosity. She blushed and waved her hand at Jessica signaling her to carry on.
"Emmett, of course. You just keep telling yourself that." More giggling. "I will. Because I" Jessica looked at Mrs. Goff, who seemed to have fallen asleep, even though she was awake 30 seconds ago. "Ehem, Mrs. Goff?" Jessica tried to get her attention.
"Huh, what? Easter rabbits!" The teacher blurted as she jumped up. The class started laughing again. "Oops, sorry about that…" She smoothed out her skirt. "Jessica, please continue."
"Well, I'm done now. There's nothing left on it." Mrs. Goff seemed to remember the past few minutes and she turned red. "Oh, well, um, thank you." The bell rang. Everyone piled out of the class while the teacher called me and Edward to the front.
"Edward, Alice, you um, already know Spanish, right?" Me and Edward exchanged glances. "Well, yeah." "Would you mind if you would just…. You know… don't mention this to anyone. You'll get your well-deserved A's in this class?" She looked up at us hopefully.
"Right, um, sure… thanks…" I said for the two of us. "Alright then. Let's never speak of this again."
Like I said, the Cullen's have their ways…
So that was chapter two, let me know if you want me to make more chapters. If so, I am thinking about doing one between Bella and Mike, Tyler and Edward, etc. And if you want me to add a more sarcastic sense of humor to the story let me know, thanks for reading!
