Dear ...,

It is after school. I really have nowhere to go but here, my bedroom. Sometimes it gets pretty boring here, but I can't go downstairs. Not yet. My mom is acting weird today.

I have to see Katsuko-sensei tomorrow. I really hope she doesn't ask to read what I have written so far. I haven't told her much about Soubi, even though she's my therapist. Is that bad? Keeping secrets from your therapist? I haven't even told her about the day we met, or what we did after he picked me up from school. The park was fun, but Soubi was a little odd, even scary.

Not more than fifteen minutes after I had met the man, me and Soubi were headed to the park, taking pictures and having fun. I knew I was having fun. My mom says I'm too gloomy, but when I am doing something enjoyable, I laugh and giggle just like everyone else. Soubi was very composed, however. He smiled a lot, but was quiet. He did whatever I requested of him, including taking pictures of myself, or running to catch the sight of a beautiful bird perched on its branch. I like to believe that I can notice little details in people and figure out who they are - but, eventually, with Soubi, I forgot about that. I hadn't played with anyone in a long time. It is only now that I realize I should have been more suspicious of him, or kept my guard up. I was a gullible child.

Me and Soubi got tired after a few hours. It was winter, so the sky started getting dark soon. We decided to sit at a park table and look at all the memories we had created on my camera. Well, I was looking at them. Soubi sat across from me, occasionally speaking to me in that soft voice of his a few times.

"60 pictures already?" he asked.

I nodded cheerfully. 'Yep! I'll print them out and give them to you later - don't lose them, Soubi!"

His lips turned up in a ghost of a smile. "Well, then we can talk now. Wouldn't that create even better memories?"

I started getting nervous. "No. We have to take as many pictures as possible!" I answered hastily. Being the ignorant child I was, I hardly noticed the dangerous tone of my voice.

I looked away, embarrassed, when Soubi peered at me curiously. I spoke, "It's very important to me that we take these pictures. Otherwise, I'll forget everything that happened today."

I was already getting upset, but Soubi only blinked and said again in that husky voice, "How can that be? You won't forget."

I didn't want to explain myself, even if I had given too much information already. That was one thing I hated about myself; I always involuntarily hinted at things that were supposed to be secrets in my life. I couldn't help it. I suppose I just wanted someone else to know, so they could talk to me about it.

"I will," I answered simply.

There was a silence between us that seemed somewhat awkward, but only somewhat. Soubi seemed comfortable with silence, even if he was in company. It was starting to become normal. He was a very quiet person, even though he was an adult.

"Soubi..." I began to ask. "How did you know my brother?" My voice wavered on the last word.

Soubi seemed fairly surprised by my question, but started speaking nonetheless. "We met a few years ago. I can't even remember it that well anymore. Your brother and I had a very... special relationship," he said.

My ears twitched on top of my head. I was curious. "What do you mean?"

"Even though he was younger than me, Seimei always took the lead in everything. He decided where we went, what we did, everything," he continued. "He told me about you, his beloved little brother."

I perked up. Seimei had spoken of me?

"I know he died recently. I thought about paying you a visit, and seeing how you were doing. I was curious to meet the Aoyagis, especially his dearest baby brother."

If I had been less naive at the time, I would have wondered why Soubi didn't just go to our house instead of meeting me at my school, where I would be alone.

"Oh. You wanted to see me? You wanted to check on me?" I asked in a small voice. I looked away when he tried to make eye contact.

He finally answered, "Yes. I wanted to see you."

I wouldn't have understood it at the time, but I know now that I felt happy when he said that. Even if I had never met him before, he wanted to see me. Just me. He wanted to pay attention to me, like Seimei had months and months ago, and how my parents never did.

"But..." I started. He noticed my confused expression, and was now paying full attention to me. That made me shy. I didn't want to say it out loud, because it was embarrassing. "...I never knew Seimei had an adult friend..." I trailed off.

"Oh. My ears?"

I blushed heavily, and was suddenly aware of my long tail wagging. These were things people didn't usually talk about out loud.

He suddenly smiled in that goofy way of his. "Don't worry. I may not have ears, but I won't do anything to you."

When he said that, I looked up. Did that mean I could trust him? He said he wouldn't do anything to me. I saw his hands extend forward, reaching for me. I wondered what he was going to do. Was he going to ruffle my hair like he did before, to extenuate his promise? Was he expecting a high-five? Apparently not, because his hand closed around my wrist again. I blinked a few times, and was about to ask him if he wanted to get going already, when I was cut short by something... something impure, tainted, and gross.

I pulled away quickly, but the damage had been done. I felt sick, and tried bolting, but his hand grabbed mine and stopped me from escaping. I was scared. I pressed a hand to my mouth, as though to cover the evidence.

"Why did you do that?!" I shrieked. I was shocked to see he was only grinning, holding my wrist tightly without effort.

"It was only a kiss," he said in the exact same voice as before.

That was right. He had kissed me. I felt disgusted, as though I was going to throw up. Heat was rushing to my face, humiliated by the act of intimacy that I was not prepared for.

"You said you wouldn't do anything!" I screamed again, eyes piercing with anger into his.

His eyes silenced me, and he looked different from before. He wasn't quiet or stoic like before. He was smirking, and that scared me. I started trembling as he pulled me toward him by my wrist.

"Please... I want to go now..." I whispered, my voice shaking.

"Sorry, Ritsuka. But Seimei told me to watch after you, so I can't let you go," he answered. I was looking away, eyes downcast, but I could feel the smirk in his voice. He was bigger and stronger than me. What was I going to do? "Ritsuka, don't you want someone to look after you? Don't you want someone like Seimei? Like an older brother?"

"Don't talk about Seimei!" I shrieked, trying again to free myself, without success.

He paused for a moment. "I'm sorry," he said. "I miss Seimei, too, you know. He taught me many things, like I'm sure he did for you. We are the same, Ritsuka. Just think that Seimei was the one that wanted us to meet. Seimei."

He was still clutching my hand, and I was still whimpering and not looking at him. But both of his were silent now, going through those words in our heads. Soubi missed Seimei, too? I had never met someone I could easily talk to about my brother... certainly not my parents. If Seimei was close to this man, maybe he was a good adult...

But then I remembered that he had kissed me. I let out a sob, and held my hand to my lips again.

As though he was also remembering it, Soubi pulled my hand toward him and kissed it softly. He kept his lips there a long time, and I wriggled and squirmed.

"Stop!" I commanded, heat pooling in my cheeks. I had never been kissed before, in any way, with anyone besides Seimei. I was only 11 years old... no one in my class had ever kissed anyone! What was wrong with this man?

"Ritsuka," Soubi spoke when his lips left my hand. "We should become friends. We both share a bond... Seimei."

I would have laughed bitterly if I could. Friends? What kind of friendship was this?

"Seimei wanted us to meet. He wanted me to take care of you. He told me that you were lonely, and was always worried about you when he was gone. I want to take care of you. I will protect you, Ritsuka."

"Protect me...?" I repeated, stunned. Did this man really want to protect me?

"Yes," he replied. "Do this for Seimei. So he can rest in peace, knowing that you are safe."

I could almost feel tears in my eyes. Seimei... was Seimei worried about me, even in death?

"Seimei..." I sobbed. One lone tear slipped down my cheek. Soubi pulled me towards him, so that my face rested on his shoulder. I immediatly stiffened, but continued to cry. I cried a long time, and eventually, I must have relaxed onto Soubi's shoulder, because I soon became drowsy, and my eyelids became heavy. I think Soubi walked me halfway to my house, but not all the way. I was sleepy from crying, and I could hardly remember the walk.

I was so confused. Confused, and sad. Why did this all have to happen because of Seimei? If he had just not gone out by himself that night, none of this would be happening. None of this at all.