Disclaimer: Look at Chapter 1.
Rating: T
Chapter 1: Nameless
Faith Lehane leaned over the rail of the balcony breathing in the cold night air. It wouldn't take an idiot to tell you that she was deep in thought. A cigarette dangled loosely and untouched between her middle and index finger, slowly it burned to the filter without her even taking a drag.
"Razors pain ya... Rivers damp... Acid stains ya... Drugs cause cramps... Guns aren't lawful... Nooses give... Gas smells awful…you might as well live…" Faith flicked the cigarette over the edge, her face somber and uninterested. She repeated the same poem she had learned from her mother over and over in her mind, she wasn't suicidal in the least, but at times like this one, her mind kept wandering to those painful memories.
Xander, Buffy, Dawn, Kennedy, and a few other 'newbie scoobies' as Faith liked to call them were inside. It hadn't even been a full year and yet they had already set up base at the Hyperion hotel. Faith knew that most of them still weren't comfortable around her…still feared her even. So, she was in her own way sparing them the discomfort of her presence by staying outside. Taking her 'smoke break'…her masterful excuse.
The dark slayer chuckled bitterly and took her favorite switchblade out of her pocket; she began toying with it in her right hand.
"Ya might as well fuckin' live." She muttered under her breathe.
"Huh?"
Faith felt a pang in her chest as the familiar voice approached from behind her, she ignored it and went through her mental rolodex of innuendos in order to back up her usually cocky disposition. Truthfully, for the past months that Faith has spent with the scoobs she has been expecting them to tell her to leave, go back to prison, get out of their presence and the list of rejections goes on and on. Hell, she even still tenses up slightly whenever Buffy approaches her. Silently bracing herself for the blonde slayer to deck her a good one…finish what she had started so many years ago. The funny thing was Faith even sometimes hoped Buffy would hit her.
"What's up, B. Didn't know eavesdroppin was your game." Faith replied flatly as the blonde leaned over the balcony next to the dark haired girl. Faith rummaged through her jacket pocket and produced a wrinkled pack of cigarettes, before taking one herself she offered it to Buffy who just raised her eyebrow as Faith grinned at her. The brunette lit the tip of her cig and breathed in deeply allowing the smoke to fill her lungs.
"Faith…why aren't you ever inside? It freezing out here." The blonde asked, a small amount of concern showing in her words as she pulled her jacket tighter around her. Faith simply shrugged and took another long drag before answering.
"Well…you know me. Addictive personality an all. Just can't get enough of these puppies." Faith chuckled quietly, proud of herself for being able to pull the lie out of her ass so quickly. Buffy raised an eyebrow in disbelief.
"Faith…you do realize you're mouth twitches whenever you lie, right?" Faith looked at her as if to saying 'what the fuck?' before giving the blonde a halfhearted smirk.
"I knew you couldn't take your eyes off me blondie, now you're memorizin my face? I'm flattered." Faith stared nervously over the balcony trying to appear interested in the people walking below them. Buffy rolled her eyes.
"Faith, why are you always out here?" Buffy asked again, placing a comforting hand on Faith's shoulder. The brunette flinched away from the hand and took a step back, almost missing the look of hurt that flashed over Buffy's face. Faith stared hard at the blonde, her eyes showing a mix of frustration, pleading and guilt.
"What do you want me to say, B? How bout I answer your question with a question of my own, huh? Why the fuck do you care? Out here, I'm not bothering you, I'm not breathin your air, I'm not hoggin your spotlight. I'm not doing anything to piss you off. So why the fuck do you care? Think I'm plotting your downfall out here or somethin?" Faith finished her rant, angrily tossing another cigarette over the edge, hating the look of hurt in the blonde's eye. To the brunette's surprise her sister slayer didn't react in anger…Buffy spoke slowly and softly, almost shyly even.
"Faith…It's not like that. I'm just worrying about my friend…that's all, honest. I hardly see you at all, I'm just wondering if you're ok."
The dark slayer scoffed and lit up again. Speaking with the cigarette dangeling inbetween her teeth.
"We aren't friends, B. Never were. And as for you're 'worryin'? Just drop it aight? I'm five by five."
Buffy frowned at Faith and took a small step forward; Faith froze up slightly but stood her ground.
"That's just it Faith…we aren't friends. Why? I thought we got past this."
Buffy took another step forward, Faith tensed up further not moving a muscle.
"Well B, I was a murdering, psychotic, fucked up kid who tried to off you and your friends…that's kinda hard to 'get past' as you put it."
"You're different now though Faith. Even I see it…even they see it." Buffy pressed, taking another step towards the dark slayer, they were now only inches apart.
"You know what B? You suck at lying almost as much as I do." Faith drawled flatly, taking another drag from her cigarette.
"Why do you say that?"
Faith shrugged and flicked some ash off the tip of her cig.
"It's simple, B. I don't belong. Endo story. I'll always be that dark annoying little stain that pollutes yours and their lives. After what I did…there ain't no 'getting past', there isn't any forgiveness that I could or should ask for or expect from any of you. So, I stay out here. For your benefit and mine. And when you do need my help, I give ya a hand, then it's back out here, waiting for more orders. There, happy? Ya got your answers, blondie."
Faith tried to stifle a shaky breathe that was threatening to come out, covering it with another long drag from her cigarette. Buffy continued to look at her intently, studying the brunette's attempt to hide the troubled grimace reflecting in her soulful brown eyes. Before the blonde could say, anything the sound of the screen door sliding open broke the silence.
"Yo Buffy, Will's on the phone. She needs to talk to you?...Is this a bad time?" Both slayers turned to Kennedy, having mixed feelings of relief and annoyance at the intrusion.
"Nah…it's alright, Ken. Be there in a sec." The younger slayer nodded and shut the sliding door, bouncing back into the warmly lit room.
Buffy turned back to Faith who was currently staring at the night sky. Wordlessly, Buffy wrapped her arms around the younger girl and held her in a warm embrace, their slayer bond never felt stronger then it did at that moment.
"I forgave you a long time ago, Fai." Before Faith could even process what had happened Buffy planted a chaste kiss on the brunette's cheek, gave her a soft smile and pulled away heading back inside, leaving a stunned Faith on the balcony. The dark slayer raised her hand up to the spot on her cheek were Buffy had kissed her, the skin still tingling from the brief contact.
"There ain't no forgiveness for people like me, B." Faith mumbled sadly to herself. She turned back to the railing, playing what had just happened over in her head once again.
Willow sat across the table from the young slayer, watching as the girl fidgeted nervously with her newly acquired long sleeve shirt. At first when Willow and given the girl clothes, she had just looked at them mystified, unable to comprehend what the witch was trying to do. After a long while of coaching the newly freed slayer out from under a table, the redhead had finally managed to dress the frail girl.
"If they are uncomfortable we could try something different, if you'd like." Willow said softly. The girl winced slightly and twitched before slowly shaking her head no.
"D-different…f-feeling…." She mumbled in a small unsure voice.
"You're not used to clothes?" Willow asked gently. The girl simply nodded and brought a hand up to her neck, hooking her fingers around it and holding it there, while rocking slightly in her chair. Her eyebrows were knitted together in a nervous and scared scowl, at every small noise she jumped or flinched as if expecting a club to come down on her from somewhere.
"No one wants to hurt you here, sweetie. You can relax. You're safe finally." The slayer brought her knees up to her chest and twitched again, never making eye contact with Willow.
"Do you have a name?" Willow asked again, hoping she wasn't pressing the girl too hard for information. The girl shook her head no.
"We….d-didn't….have names…..d-dolls…didn't….get names."
Willow stared at the girl still intrigued.
"Dolls?"
The girl looked up at Willow and stared vacantly at the witch, her eyes darkened slightly with pain.
"Slaves…..t-torture….p-pain……" The girl stuttered, her face growing even more contorted with agony and fear. Willow slowly rose from her chair and rounded the table, placing a comforting arm over the trembling girl. The slayer flinched at the contact before slowly pulling away. Willow wasn't sure what she was doing till the girl lift her shirt up a little, revealing the angry red and black brand on her right shoulder blade.
"H-he….w-would laugh……." Was all the girl said before lowering her shirt again. Willow nodded sympathetically.
"I'm going to go get some stuff to clean that up ok?...Will you be ok in here for a couple minutes?"
The girl simply nodded, hugging her knees tighter to her chest.
"Ok…if you need anything just yell, ok?" The girl nodded again as the witch left the room.
Giles was waiting outside the door or the interrogation room silently greeting Willow with a nod as she came through.
"How is she?"
Willow sighed and shrugged bringing a hand to her forehead.
"I-I don't know Giles…She can talk more clearly now. Almost form sentences…But she's just…I don't know. She's scarred Giles. She doesn't have a name, doesn't know how old she is, has no idea who she is or if she has family. I don't know what to do."
Giles removed his glasses, quietly cleaning them as Willow paced around the room, watching the slayer in the other room cradle her head in fetal position through the two way mirror.
"We could find someone to talk to her."
Willow scoffed at first but then stopped her pacing as the idea sunk in.
"How about Angel? He was in a hell dimension…maybe even the same one as she was in."
Giles shook his head and made a face that looked as if he had bit into a lemon.
"No…well. Yes, I suppose…he could be of some assistance. But all the same, Angel is a vampire and was well over 2 centuries old when he went to one. His mental capabilities had years of development and strengthening before hand, giving him a better chance of coping with his experience. This girl can't be older then 18…it's a miracle her state of mind is as stable as it is now."
Willow's frown deepened. "So what do we do then? Theres got to be a way to help her Giles…"
The watcher sighed heavily.
"Call Angel…Buffy...and Faith. To help this girl we'll need someone who's been to a hell dimension…someone who's died…and someone who has lived in madness once before and recovered…That's our only choice right now. We need someone who can connect with her...one of them may be able too. If this is the case...we'll work from there."
Willow nodded and dug into her pocket for her cellphone.
A/N: Woohoo! Finally done typing chapter 1...took forever, but it's done!Just for the record 'Dolls' has nothing to do with 'Dollhouse'. Hope you guys enjoyed, let me know what you think, and i will see you guys later!
